Broadening My Dance Horizons

Leaving the Old Behind

After running into a woman I know from dancing while doing my weekly foraging, I realized, while I’ve broadened my horizons dance-wise lately, traveling further, and to different venues, I’d developed a self-defeating mindset when it came to a few local venues. Thankfully, I listened to what she had to say, and am giving a couple I’d ruled out a chance. If my first experience is any indication, the experiment is well on it’s way to being successful…and getting me out dancing more often again.

Though the crowd was smaller even than usual, I saw people I knew who greeted me with what I actually felt was genuine, heartfelt happiness to see me. They don’t need to be close friends (of which, for now, I have very few). They simply lack any undercurrent or hidden agenda behind their welcoming hugs. It’s hard to explain in words, but it felt lighter to me.

I also realized I’d gotten into a huge rut when it came to who and how I learn new dances. I’d gotten so used to a single instructor, I was finding it difficult to learn from others which is a tremendous liability when I go to things like WWLA in August. It’s well past time I started adapting to whatever teaching style an instructor might have instead of expecting them all to teach a certain way if I’m going to learn. For someone who works hard to be open-minded and inclusive, I haven’t been dancing the dance for several years.

So Many Instructors, So Little Time!

The truth is, every instructor has something to offer me, if I give them half a chance. If nothing else, I was limiting myself to what that single instructor chose to teach, and missing out on a lot of dances I’ve seen, and want to learn. While I can pull up YouTube and learn anything I want, it’s easier, and more fun to do it with a group. I’ve already committed to a new instructor on Thursday nights, and continue to follow another from place to place. It’s time to open my heart, mind, and dancing feet to all the opportunities; some of which have been there for years, and others which are newer, and more inclined to teach dances that are coming out of the conventions.

While I’ve been quick to tell newer dancers to broaden their horizons by experiencing a variety of instructors, I have not been practicing what I preach…and it shows in my struggles to adapt to a different style of teaching! It makes me want to look in the mirror and say: “Do you even listen to yourself? The advice you give is as good for you as it is for anyone else! Pay attention, woman!”

It appears the reason I’m in a rut at all is self-inflicted. I got so comfortable going to the same place, doing the same thing every week, I failed to notice when it was as comfortable as tight-fitting jeans after an all-you-can-eat pasta night. I’m beginning to realize the Universe was more than happy to show me the error of my ways, and how distinctly uncomfortable my world had become in the last couple of years, forcing me to move my tuchus out of there.

Embracing the Big, Wide World

Maybe it left me in limbo for a little while, and in some areas of my life, I still am. But when it comes to my dancing, as my mind is opening, as is my world, and my choices of opportunities to dance even more. (As I type this, my body is whining because I’ve already danced one night, did a fairly brutal hour of circuit training today, continue to walk my 3 miles daily, and have a rather tough lesson to look forward to tonight.) I know as I open my mind and heart to new opportunities in one area of my life, it’ll be easier to open it in other areas as well.

I’ve always believed things happen for a reason. Blowing up my entire social life last year might have seemed like an overreaction from the outside looking in. It might have left me with some pretty lonely months. Yet deep inside, I knew there was a reason my eyes were opened to the fact I wasn’t supported as I’d believed for years. The time simply came when the best thing for me was to go off on my own again for awhile, with no particular affiliation. When the time is right, I’ll end up exactly where I’m supposed to, with people who can give and receive support with love and joy in their hearts.

Until then, I’m OK going it alone…yet, these days, I’m rarely alone. I usually have a couple of ladies riding along when I go dancing, and one has already reserved her spot in my “taxi” for the next cruise. Maybe I’m not developing the close friendships I crave, but I’m making real friends, and that’s a huge step in the right direction.

Grateful for New People, Places, and Things

My gratitudes today are:

1. I’m grateful for new beginnings.
2. I’m grateful for broader horizons.
3. I’m grateful for jettisoning what didn’t work for me.
4. I’m grateful for opportunities heading my way once I got out of my own way.
5. I’m grateful for a smoother flow of words again.

About the Author

Sheri Conaway is a Holistic Ghostwriter, and an advocate for cats and mental health. Sheri believes in the Laws of Attraction, but only if you are a participant rather than just an observer. Her mission is to Make Vulnerable Beautiful. In her spare time, she’s also an accountant with extensive experience in Government Contracting.

How Do You Meditate Best?

Meditate Daily for a Healthy Mind

Meditation is much more than just sitting in lotus position, saying “OM”. In fact, I venture to guess that’s the exception, not the rule. For me it often involves at least one cat, and a fleece blanket on my lap. The cat usually drives the whole process by letting me know just where they want to be scratched, how they want to lay on my body absorbing my warmth, and how active my participation in his comfort or her comfort has to be in order to make it a proper meditation… for them

Though I’ve tried meditating in many places, I’ve learned meditating inside the house with a cat on my lap is always my best option. Between their warm bodies, their purrs, and their snuggles, I seem to relax and let my brain turn off for a little while far better for their assistance.

Granted, some of my cats are better meditation assistants than others. It seems my boys are always calmer, and willing to curl up on my lap or in the crook of my arm while purring my monkey mind into submission. Ishtar and Artemis tend to be little wiggle worms who can’t quite find the right position, and require more petting before they jump down to do laps around the house. Occasionally, Ishy will lay on the back of the sofa and purr, but I have to catch her in just the right mood…preferably after she’s finished her morning zoomies.

Settle That Monkey Mind!

Over the years, I’ve utilized a variety of methods for calming my mind and allowing my body to fully relax. I’ve learned no one method works every time. Sometimes, I need to turn on ambient music (no running water, or tinkling piano keys please), or light a candle to hold my focus. Even so, there are times my monkey mind won’t settle, no matter how many bananas I toss it. At those times, I might need a more active meditation like dancing or cleaning house (as much as I hate cleaning, it’s often a great way to numb my mind).

Much like shielding, you have to discover what works best for you, knowing one method isn’t going to work all the time unless you’re a zen master and can still your mind at will. Starting with a minute or two, and working your way up often helps you train your mind to let go. It’s a lot like training your physical muscles. You’re not able to do a 5-mile hike, or press 50 pounds all at once. You have to work up to it, training your muscles and your stamina to accept the larger efforts gradually.

The challenges of daily life, the endless To Do lists, interacting with other people…they all make it difficult to still your mind for any length of time. Like your physical muscles, your mental muscles can be trained as long as you relax your expectations, and push only a little further than is comfortable. In time, you’ll be able to keep your mind still for longer periods…most of the time.

Mitigate Your Stress With Daily Meditation

The conundrum is, the more stressful your life is, the more you need meditation, and the harder it is to still your mind. But if you’ve been practicing when things weren’t as stressful, it’s a lot easier to continue the practice. Granted, you may only be able to keep your mind still for a few minutes, instead of the amount of time you’ve become accustomed to. But like a physical workout, a short meditation is better than none.

Even so, you might find when things are more stressful, you need something extra to help you still your mind. For me, it’s the ambient music I mentioned, or a guided meditation. Either one helps grab a piece of my wandering mind that’s trying to either obsess over something, or hack away at my To Do list while I’m trying to focus on the Now, and what is before me in the moment. It creates that little, extra reminder that the only thing I can deal with is what is necessary in the current moment. Everything else is just noise keeping me from laser focusing on the here and now.

It took me what seems like eons to realize no matter what is going on in my life, I can only manage the current moment, and no matter how overwhelming my life might be, I’m neither able, nor need to deal with it all at once. In fact, when I break things down into what needs to be dealt with right now, and what doesn’t, I am better able to focus on each, individual task or problem without outside interference. Not once have I effectively dealt with anything when I’m overwhelmed by trying to consume a full plate at once.

Like rest, meditation isn’t a reward. It’s a necessary part of your life which helps you manage that plate which never seems to empty. It allows you to put things into perspective, and maybe even realize some of the things overwhelming you aren’t that important after all. Some might not even be yours to deal with, and should be released to whoever they truly belong to. But you’re not going to figure it out while your brain is racing at 1000 miles per hour, trying to process everything at once. Even a computer needs to handle tasks one at a time, if at a much faster, and less emotional speed than your brain!

Guided Meditations to Still the Monkey Mind

If you’re new to meditation, and think it might be the next step in your much-deserved self-care ritual, here are a few methods I’ve tried over the years which might help you. And remember. Start with a minute, or even 30 seconds, because stilling the mind doesn’t typically come naturally.

• Get into a comfortable position in a quiet place where you won’t be interrupted
• Focus on the flame of a lit candle
• Find ambient music on YouTube, or another music app, making sure it doesn’t have elements which wind you up rather than allowing you to relax.
• Find a guided meditation audio either on YouTube, or on a website which offers them. There are a few you can even download for free.
  • Tara Brach is one.
  • UCLA Mindful is another.
  • A purring cat is also a guided meditation in its own right!
• Remind yourself before you start that you deserve to have a few minutes to yourself when you’re not worried, stressed, or busy.

I’d love to hear from some of you who already have a meditation routine. What works for you? How long do you meditate? Where do you meditate typically? What helps you calm your mind when life is especially insane?

Meditation as a Form of Gratitude to Self

My gratitudes today are:

1. I’m grateful for learning I deserve me time.
2. I’m grateful for taking the time to learn how to meditate effectively.
3. I’m grateful for my cats (especially my boys) who are always on hand to help me get into a meditative state.
4. I’m grateful for blog posts which seem to write themselves.
5. I’m grateful for a life that’s lower in stress thanks to daily meditations.

About the Author

Sheri Conaway is a Holistic Ghostwriter, and an advocate for cats and mental health. Sheri believes in the Laws of Attraction, but only if you are a participant rather than just an observer. Her mission is to Make Vulnerable Beautiful. In her spare time, she’s also an accountant with extensive experience in Government Contracting.

Making Self-Care a Priority

I Deserve Self-Care

Today is all about taking care of me, whether it’s eating healthier, doing the things I do daily anyway, like brushing my teeth and taking my supplements, or finally getting to something I’ve put off for almost 2 months. The main thing is, I’m focusing on all the things I can do to make myself a better person inside and out.

It’s so easy to look at a task whose only purpose is to make yourself feel better and tell yourself it can wait until later. The truth is, that’s the task that can’t wait. The better you feel, the more likely you are to tackle the things you don’t like doing, but need to be done. When you’re feeling better about yourself, or you’ve taken the time to see to your own needs first, your cup is full so you have infinitely more to give to others. Your entire outlook on the world improves exponentially!

If you’re like me, you spent far too many years making sure everyone else got what they wanted or needed, and neglected yourself to the point you finally had no more to give…to yourself or anyone else. Trust me when I tell you, your body will give out before your willingness to continue giving. Your body, mind, and spirit will shout “ENOUGH!” and shut down for as long as it takes to rebuild at least some of your energy and defenses. But don’t ever believe they’ll stay shut down long enough to full your cup to the top. That part is up to you, and you alone.

Set Your Boundaries to Protect YOU

Guess what? You are allowed to shout “ENOUGH!” yourself, and tell everyone and everything they’re taking a back seat to your own self care for awhile. You are allowed to take whatever time you need to fill your own cup full to overflowing if you deem it necessary. It won’t take as long as you think, as long as you enforce your boundaries, and keep the focus on yourself.

Granted, it’s harder when you have young children, or an invalid parent to care for, but they have to sleep sometime, and if that’s when you block out time to care for you, then so be it. The key is to do it, and not feel guilty because you didn’t get another load of laundry done, or the dishwasher filled. You’ll feel more like doing them, and do them more efficiently once you’ve allowed your own resources to be restored. Your mind will be sharper, your body will be more responsive, and best of all, you won’t feel so overwhelmed if you’ve taken the time to read part of that book, or give yourself a mini-facial, or get out in the garden. It doesn’t matter what it is that makes you feel restored, and you don’t need to feel guilty about the time you’ve spent doing it. You deserve to feel healthy and at ease.

You Get to Mitigate Your Stress

I learned the hard way, there will always be stressors in your life. I thought my biggest stressor was my job, and the people I worked with. Once I left the job, my stress level went down for a little while, but it came back, full force in due time, why? Because my biggest stressor was ME! I was the one berating myself for not getting things done, or finding a way to make more money, or looking at my house and thinking I should be cleaning it more now I had the time. I filled my head with all those ugly “coulda, shoulda, wouldas”. Me, and nobody else.

Though I was home by myself most of the time, I failed to use some of  that “free” time to show myself appreciation for all the effort I made, no matter the direction or purpose. I failed to allow myself to do things for the sole purpose of making me feel good. I kept piling on expectations, but provided no rewards.

Now, I take the time to read a book, and block out the world for a little while. I indulge in a 15-minute facial. I make a point of brushing my teeth and taking all my supplements right after breakfast. But best of all, I write a daily blog post with my five gratitudes not for others, but for me, because doing so not only makes me feel a sense of accomplishment every day, but because it reminds ME to be grateful for every, single moment of every, single day!

Grateful for my Low Stress Life

My gratitudes today are:

1. I’m grateful for learning I have to put self-care first.
2. I’m grateful for all the things I’ve put in place which I get to do every, single day.
3. I’m grateful for friends who encourage me to put me first, either by their words, their cheer leading, or, in some cases, by showing me I’m not a priority to them.
4. I’m grateful for dance nights, for daily walks, and for ballet which are, for the most part, non-negotiable parts of my week. They’re for my own benefit, though, if they help someone else, that’s the cherry on top of the hot fudge sundae I call Life.
5. I’m grateful for getting up every day, to loving, but demanding cats who refuse to let me sleep in any more, because they know, better than I do the later I sleep, the more sluggish I’ll feel.

About the Author

Sheri Conaway is a Holistic Ghostwriter, and an advocate for cats and mental health. Sheri believes in the Laws of Attraction, but only if you are a participant rather than just an observer. Her mission is to Make Vulnerable Beautiful and help entrepreneurs touch the souls of their readers and clients so they can increase their impact and their income.

Love the Food You’re With

Treating Food Mindfully

Lately, as I munch on a healthy meal of salad or vegetables, and soup, or some kind of protein, I find myself thinking about what I’m going to have for dessert. Although it might as easily be a piece of fruit as a piece of dark chocolate, it dawned on me, I’m not giving the food in front of me the love and attention it deserves. In fact, as often as not, I’m bolting it down so I can get to what my brain thinks is the “good stuff”.

The truth is, what’s in front of me is good stuff, because I chose it not only for nutritional value but for its appeal to my senses, including sight, and taste buds. It deserves to be savored, and appreciated as much, or more than the piece of dark chocolate, or the 100 calorie yogurt bar I might consume afterwards. Not only that, by rushing through the meal, I’m, in all likelihood, overeating, because I don’t allow my stomach and brain to form the connection that says, “I’m full. I don’t need anything more.”

I’ve started buying salad kits, not because they’re a whole lot less time consuming than putting a salad together from scratch by the time I add onions, tomatoes, bell peppers, mushrooms, and avocado, but because my brain thinks it’s one of the easier, grab-and-go meals I tend to favor. Plus, I get the pleasure of chopping a few vegetables, a task that’s sure to brighten my day.

Slow Down to Enjoy the Experience

Time and time again, I’ll be bolting a meal in front of the TV or computer, when I have to stop and remind myself to slow down, savor the different flavors on my tongue, and chew thoughtfully, and thoroughly. The food on my plate is a gift I give to myself to fuel my body so it can line dance, do ballet, or simply keep my space clean.

Whether I’m concentrating all my attention on keeping my body in the proper position while executing a piece of choreography, dumping 40-pound bags of cat sand into buckets and breaking down the boxes, or typing another blog post, or chapter of a book, how I fuel my body affects how well I do each task, and more, how well my brain works while doing it.

If I’m paying so much attention to my mind and body, doesn’t the meal I’m eating deserve the same attention? I’ve already learned I eat less when I savor what I’m eating, and allow the various flavors to perform a concert on my tongue. Yet I have to remind myself every time I sit down to a meal to slow down, chew mindfully, and relish the flavors. In other words, enjoy the process instead of just eating to fuel my body and mind, or satisfy a craving.

Releasing Outgrown Habits

I know a large part of the frustration I feel when trying to release a few more pounds has a lot to do with the way I treat my food. In simple terms, when I fail to respect a meal, I eat more, and release less, no matter how many thousands of steps I take that day. As I keep raising the bar for myself activity-wise, I find myself bolting food more often when I feel compelled to rush from one task to the next.

In fact, that’s when the slow, steady, mindful eating is even more critical. Eating is, or should be a time to slow down, and take a break from whatever I’m doing. Yet more often than not, I’m either working, watching TV, playing a game on the computer, or reading. None of these activities allows me to simply enjoy the food; the taste, the texture, the way it begins to slowly fill me up. As a result, I keep getting up, looking for something else to satisfy the need in me for those tastes and textures.

I’m learning to stop and ask myself if I’m really hungry before getting up and going into the kitchen. Unfortunately, my brain still tries to tell me I should be hungry because it’s been a certain amount of time since I last ate. Yet when I don’t think about it, I may eat breakfast at 9, and not think about lunch until 2. Convincing myself that’s OK is another story entirely.

Eating When You’re Hungry

How often do I look up from the task I’ve been working on, see it’s 1:30 or 2 and immediately stop and go scrounging around the kitchen. At that point, I bolt down whatever I’ve found, go back to work, and a little while later, grab something else to eat whether I’m hungry or not.

I know part of it has to do with the years I used food as a panacea for all the things that were wrong in my life. I ate because I thought it made me feel better, even though I barely tasted what I ate. I simply kept shoving food in my mouth, oblivious to quantity, quality, or satiation. It was small wonder I went to bed and lay awake for awhile as heartburn, or an upset stomach made it impossible to find sleep.

Though I’m still learning to slow down, I have made great strides towards eating out of boredom, and sitting in front of the TV late at night with a giant bag of Skinny Pop at my side. I’ve learned, like with the premixed salads, to buy a case of single-serving bags instead of the giant one. That way, if I really have to have the popcorn, it’s a single 100-calorie bag.

Portion Control to Halt the Binging

Portion control is definitely my friend. If I tell myself a single serving is all I can have, I’m more likely to spend a little more time with my food, and give it at least part of my attention. I also feel a little less guilt about eating 1 bag later in the evening than I like, than in sitting on the couch, eating until I’m in pain.

Mindful eating, like mindfulness itself is a process you need to practice over and over again. It doesn’t typically come naturally, though the more you learn to be mindful with everything you do, the more you enjoy life, and the kaleidoscopic beauty of every step you take, every breath, and every moment.

Though I speak today of eating mindfully, it’s the beauty, the colors, the panorama I seek in all aspects of my life.

Grateful for Mindfulness

My gratitudes today are:

1. I’m grateful for discovering mindfulness, even if I’m only in the early stages, and may never actually master it. Each step I take opens my eyes to more possibilities.
2. I’m grateful for becoming more aware of the things I do, and how I do them.
3. I’m grateful for new lessons which come to me once I take a few more steps towards learning the ones I already have.
4. I’m grateful for possibilities which continue to unfold as I evolve.
5. I’m grateful for abundance; love, life, mindfulness, new days, new beginnings, endings, potential, inspiration, motivation, tenacity, joy, friendship, peace, harmony, balance, health, philanthropy, and prosperity.

Namaste

 

About the Author

Sheri Conaway is a Holistic Ghostwriter, and an advocate for cats and mental health. Sheri believes in the Laws of Attraction, but only if you are a participant rather than just an observer. Her mission is to Make Vulnerable Beautiful and help entrepreneurs touch the souls of their readers and clients so they can increase their impact and their income.

If you’d like to have her write for you, please visit her Hire Me page for more information. You can also find her on Facebook as Sheri Levenstein-Conaway Author

Everybody Needs to Heal

Setting the Mind to Heal

I don’t know anyone who hasn’t lived through some kind of trauma by the time they reach adulthood. It doesn’t have to be something major like rape, child abuse, or suicide in order to have left scars, or to have made you close off a part of yourself. There are all kinds of losses; all kinds of pain, and they’re all valid. Your mind chooses to avoid them simply because they’re painful.

Yet the best way to get past not only the pain, but the often harmful coping mechanisms the trauma left behind is to face it head on, reminding yourself you are stronger than whatever knocked you down be it recently, or long ago. The trouble is, your mind is wired to avoid revisiting anything that caused you pain, or felt uncomfortable. It likes having those coping mechanisms in place and sees no reason to let them go.

Unfortunately, your mind likes to lie to you because it wants to keep you from changing, from growing, from evolving. Your heart, however, disagrees. It loves growing, blossoming, creating, and loving; things which often scare the crap out of your change-resistant brain. Like your brain, your heart won’t remain silent about its wants and needs. Often, it speaks loudly, not so much when you’re awake and your brain snags control, but when you’re asleep and your brain is taking a break.

The Heart Leaves Hints

Dreams are where your heart inserts little hints; reminders you have so much more to be and give. It leaves feels hidden in various places in your brain that arise unexpectedly when a word, a song, or an event triggers them. The brain doesn’t even realize it’s been infested with all of these little reminders and encouragements the heart planted when it was sleeping, so it isn’t prepared to stop the feels from rising to the surface once they’re triggered.

Sure, you can ignore the feelings, as many have learned to do, but the heart is persistent. It will leave more and more Easter eggs until you respond in spite of your own best efforts. At some point you realize you have to deal with those old feelings in order to let them go and keep them from coming up over and over again. The trouble is, reliving some of them is anything but a picnic.

I’ve managed to fool myself into believing I’d dealt with all my old crap, be it past traumas, an imperfect upbringing (for which I’m certainly not the Lone Ranger), or the coping mechanisms left behind that are more hindrance than help these days. My procrastination mechanism is working quite well in avoiding things that will allow me to finish healing and releasing as my heart needs me to do. I know I can’t keep avoiding it forever, if only because I’ve made commitments to myself which must be honored.

Finding the Strength to Heal

I put off facing those demons as long as I can, but eventually, the Easter eggs, my heart leaves while I sleep start cracking open, and frankly, the sulfuric stench becomes overpowering. Just as I’ve been decluttering various parts of my physical environment over time, I know I can no longer put off decluttering my mental and emotional environment forever. Eventually I get tired of tripping over things, or having trouble retrieving what I need when I need it, even if it’s something as simple as having the right word while writing a blog post.

I remind myself I get to choose where I go from here. Maybe I move one more box out to the garage, or clear a little more space on my makeshift desk, aka dining room table. But there comes a point when I have to stop rearranging my physical world and address the insistent voices cluttering my mind, heart, and soul. Girding my loins, so to speak, I put fingers to keys and let the thoughts flow (much like how this blog post evolved, midway through scooping the sandboxes). In short, I have to start by shoveling shit before I can reconnect with my own heart.

I can feel my heart jumping for joy inside as all those pent up feelings start clamoring for attention. They line up like a classroom full of rambunctious 5-year-olds waiting to go out for recess. Each one wanting to be first in line, pushing and shoving until the teacher blows her whistle and threatens to keep them inside if they can’t get into some kind of order. The last thing I want to do right now is keep those kids inside!

The Battle to Release Old Feelings

There are pouts and whines, maybe someone gets bitten or shoved into someone else. The teacher comforts the wounded ones before opening the door and letting them rush outside to burn off some of the energy they’ve built up while sitting inside for a couple of hours. Feelings are no different. They all want to be heard. They all want to feel important. Most of all, they want to be released from captivity. They’ve spent too much time crammed together in a small space.

That bursting at the seams and tendency to rush out in a flood is the source of most of the pain. As the feelings rush out, they rip off a piece of my heart, or worse, stick pins into a spot that’s already tender, perhaps even making it bleed. I’ve learned though, that the tears I shed when the pain comes are healing. They wash away the rest of the muck that’s settled in for a long winter’s nap, and clear space for better feelings and memories to move in.

In the end, the feelings I’ve let loose may try to wander back in as they see the space in my heart is no longer so close and constricted. It’s up to me to determine whether or not they’ll be allowed back in. Granted, some sneak back when I’m not looking, to be released and faced another day, but each time I go through the process, I’m left with a little less baggage, and a little more room to build something better, stronger, and less resistant to change.

Gratitude is Balm for Wounds Old and New

My gratitudes today are:

1. I’m grateful for heart nudges.
2. I’m grateful for dreams that leave feelings instead of details.
3. I’m grateful for the experiences I’ve had which make me who I am.
4. I’m grateful for the lessons I’ve learned, and the ones I’ve yet to experience.
5. I’m grateful for abundance; love, joy, peace, harmony, friendship, compassion, kindness, health, balance, philanthropy, and prosperity.

Love and Light

 

About the Author

Sheri Conaway is a Holistic Ghostwriter, and an advocate for cats and mental health. Sheri believes in the Laws of Attraction, but only if you are a participant rather than just an observer. Her mission is to Make Vulnerable Beautiful and help entrepreneurs touch the souls of their readers and clients so they can increase their impact and their income.

If you’d like to have her write for you, please visit her Hire Me page for more information. You can also find her on Facebook Sheri Levenstein-Conaway Author or in her new group, Putting Your Whole Heart Forward