Rip off the mask, tear down the walls. Show the world my beautiful, vulnerable self!

Posts tagged ‘stress’

First Wave or 64th: Does it Matter?

One Wave Merges Into the Next

negativity and turmoilEverywhere you look these days, there’s a graphic, a chart, or a link to an article about COVID. It got pushed to the side for maybe a minute when another worthy cause leapt to the front of our awareness, but frankly, what’s more important to the general public than their health, their livelihood, and whether or not they can get a haircut, or drink in a bar with their friends?

Still, people continue to believe what they want to, whether it’s that wearing a mask will suffocate you while doing nothing to protect anyone, or the numbers are coming down and the government is lying to you. My pet peeve, failure to fact check, is alive and well right now with people posting arguments “proving” all sides of the question. I finally had to put an end to the barrage by keeping social media closed most of the day when it became clear avoiding the news wasn’t going to be enough.

Let me state very clearly, I put my trust in science. I do NOT trust anyone who’s in it solely for the money. I trust less those who attempt to besmirch the reputation of someone who not only has money, but an altruistic bent, and is actually trying to help the situation rather than simply using it to their own ends. Not everyone who has a hugely successful business empire is a selfish, egotistical bastard. (Bill and Melinda Gates, and Warren Buffet are at the top of my personal list. In case you’re wondering, Elon Musk is near, though hardly at the bottom).

Keeping My Distance Voluntarily

In any case, I refuse to become one of the frantic lemmings running from one “absolutely true” article or news story to the next, wringing my hands in distress because I can’t get a haircut or massage, and have spent all my grocery money on a garage full of toilet paper. My freezer and shelves might be slightly better stocked than normal, but more because I shop less than half as often as I used to, and make fewer stops when I do go out. The preponderance of people eschewing masks, and getting too close for my comfort are discouragement enough.

For the most part, I keep my contacts limited because, unlike many, I believe we’ve barely started into the first wave, and there will be more, as more people demand access to goods and services because they still believe God, or some nebulous deity is going to protect them. Good luck with that! My heart goes out to those who are being forced to return to work, or risk losing both job and unemployment benefits because some nitwits have made enough noise, and big businesses are feeling too pinched to have to continue operating at lower capacities, and under tighter restrictions.

I’d love to get all of those people into a room and ask: What happens when someone close to you sickens or even dies? How will you feel when that hairdresser or manicurist falls ill despite their own precautions, and the infection is traced to you? Believe me, the odds point to it happening at some point. But I know they’re too deeply entrenched in denial to even hear my words, much less, understand the implications.

Picking Your Level of Risk

In some ways I’ve become as selfish as they, but at least in so doing, I’m not endangering others. I keep my distance, and my expectations of others low. I appreciate the delivery drivers, but make no attempt to get close, instead standing a respectful distance away until they’ve delivered my latest order. They have families themselves, and deserve as much protection as I can give them. I know not everyone is offering them the same consideration, and some are being less cautious than they should as well.

I’m not one to avoid risk, but I am very selective about where and when to assume it. As such, I take the charts showing levels of risk for various activities very seriously. I read news reports of increasing numbers where cities have allowed business to resume as normal with both an open mind, and a critical eye. I recognize the pandemic has offered ample opportunity for those who seek to control the masses to indulge in rampant propaganda flinging. This is a time to push emotions to the background and engage an analytical and skeptical mind.

One thing I do believe is, whether or not you choose to abide by CDC’s recommended guidelines, you do not have the right to endanger other people for your convenience. I’ll continue to speak out for the rights of people who offer personal care services, whether it’s insisting on making customers wear masks, or, if adequate precautions aren’t viable, refraining from offering those services. I also support financial assistance until such time as their health can be effectively protected. Is that really too much to ask?

The Battle for Power Has Deadly Consequences

The way politicians and business owners are tugging at people’s emotional hot buttons, not because they care about the population, but because they care about their own pockets sickens me. They’ve created more anger and hate where cooperation and compassion are desperately needed. In the process, they’re further endangering people as fear and stress levels continue to rise—and weaken immune systems already heavily compromised. If they want to cull the masses, they’re heading in the right direction, but risk culling themselves as well.

The worst part is, many go willingly, like lambs to the slaughter; putting their trust in the hangman who wears a smiling mask to cover the putrid, mouldering face of greed and avarice that feeds on the ignorant. It pains me I can’t make people see they’re being used, abused, and tossed aside by those who see them as pawns who are only important while they’re useful. Otherwise, they can be tossed into the rubbish heap with the hordes of other nameless, faceless souls who’ve been replaced by the next batch of disposable ones.

We’re Not Interchangeable Cogs in the Wheel of Commerce I was working for larger corporations, I used to hear the oft-repeated phrase: “no one is irreplaceable”. It was a kind of mantra for the constant shifting and shuffling of bodies around the cube jungle. If one happened to leave, whether voluntarily or not, it was often met with a shrug of the shoulders. Why try to make a difference and do the best job you could with that kind of attitude? Some people did, truly believing they could climb the corporate ladder and make a difference. Most eventually left the company in search of a place where their efforts might be appreciated and recognized a little more.

In many ways, I think that attitude is mirrored in many sections of society. If one worker unit breaks down, you replace it with another of equal skill-set and rank. Now, the stakes are much higher. If one worker unity catches COVID, you can’t just toss them aside because chances are good by the time anyone notices, they’ve already infected dozens of others.

If you ask me, our society cannot sustain the true potential for contagion opening the cities too soon will  unleash. Yet numbers coming out of Arizona, Texas, Georgia, and Florida are falling on deaf ears, or worse, denial. As for me, I’m settling in for the long haul, and awaiting similar reports from San Diego and Los Angeles with more than a little trepidation and grief.

Recognizing the Blessings That Allow Me To Isolate

My gratitudes today are:

  1. I’m grateful I’m able to remain isolated and in relative safety for the time being.
  2. I’m grateful many are still choosing to avoid adding to the masses taking their lives and those of many others into their hands.
  3. I’m grateful I can exercise mind, body, and spirit without endangering myself or others.
  4. I’m grateful for those who continue to make dance nights and lessons available to those of us who don’t trust the premature openings, even of our beloved hangouts.
  5. I’m grateful for abundance; common sense, compassion, consideration, caution, adaptability, strength, hope, love, health, harmony, peace, philanthropy, and prosperity.

Love and Light


About the Author

Sheri Conaway is a Holistic Ghostwriter, and an advocate for cats and mental health. Sheri believes in the Laws of Attraction, but only if you are a participant rather than just an observer. Her mission is to Make Vulnerable Beautiful and help entrepreneurs touch the souls of their readers and clients so they can increase their impact and their income. If you’d like to have her write for you, please visit her Hire Me page for more information. You can also find her on Facebook Sheri Levenstein-Conaway Author or in her new group, Putting Your Whole Heart Forward

Overwhelmed by Simple Tasks

When Leaving the House Makes Me Feel Overwhelmed

In all the time I’ve been working from home, life’s been pretty simple. No commute. Dress however I like. Go to the gym when I’ve finished my morning activities. Dance a couple of nights a week. Maybe somewhere in there I meet a friend for coffee or lunch. Errands on the same day every week.

It’s a lot more complicated now, though I spend more time at home, and inside the house. Sure, I can go outside into my yard whenever I like (though when I do, I’m reminded of all the things I need to do there now that I have the tools to do it), but I’ve given up walks because there are simply too many people walking around my neighborhood these days. I put off going grocery shopping as long as I can. The trips are now dictated by when I’m down to my last 5-gallon bottle of water.

When I do go out, it’s an ordeal of mask-wearing, sanitizing, and making sure I don’t directly touch anything I have to. When I get home, I have to sanitize the top of my washing machine so I can put the items I’ve wiped down on top of it, but only after I’ve scrubbed my hands. I don’t want to touch anything after I’ve touched heaven knows how many other peoples’ germs all over the stores. I even leave a clean set of clothes in the garage to change into after I’ve removed the ones I wore in the stores (because heaven knows when I might have walked through a lingering cough or sneeze).

Overly Cautious, or Legitimately Careful?

The rigamarole I go through which may or may not be necessary, but I’m not taking any overwhelmedchances, is worse than when I used to have to get ready to take my twin babies out of the house for any length of time. I can’t even imagine trying to do this with children in tow. They are among the worst at social distancing in the first place, and can’t wear masks if they’re under 2 according to the American Academy of Pediatrics.

Many believe I’m being overly cautious, especially given the fact I have no health conditions. But I am considered a senior citizen based solely on the years I’ve been in this particular meat suit, and thus considered high risk. If it was just about me, I might relax my process a bit if I saw numbers dropping significantly. The truth is, it isn’t just about me. Anyone I come into contact with, however briefly, or who touches something I touched first could be put at risk if I lower my standards or become careless. That weighs on me heavily.

Because I have a friend staying on my property who works in a hospital, I hear about people, and even several members of the same family who are dealing with a disease that can’t be seen or adequately detected under current circumstances. My conscience dictates that I take what to some might seem unreasonable precautions so I minimize the risk of infecting others. I may not go out much, but when I am out, I don’t want to be putting the people around me at risk.

Making Your Own Educated Choices

Sure, it’s a choice right now, especially in the county I live in, to be more diligent than required. I see how overworked and stressed my friend is, and know only by practicing things like social distancing, mask wearing, and over-the-top personal hygiene can I do my part to help keep the flow of patients down. The part I do might be small; even minuscule, but if each one of us was excessively diligent, it might save a few of the doctors, nurses, and other healthcare workers from either burnout, or succumbing to the disease themselves.

The problem lies in my own response to the extreme measures I believe I need to take. The very idea of having to go out of the house to run errands would, until recently, elicit a migraine either the day before when I’d stress myself out with anticipation, or the day of, leaving me sitting in the Costco parking lot after loading my groceries into the car, with eyes closed and the seat leaned back until my vision cleared and I was able to ward off the worst of the headache.

It also means I’m less than responsive to any suggestion to add one more step to anything I’m already doing. And it means I have more days than I like when I get absolutely nothing of merit accomplished. Thankfully, I’ve learned not to beat myself up for those days, but they still nag at me in their own way.

Reducing Stress Responses

I’ve come to the conclusion I need to somehow lower my negative response to all the extra I’m taking to simply acquire food, and a few medicines and supplements I can’t easily acquire online. My processes need to change yet again so, if nothing else, a trip to the market doesn’t elicit severe anxiety and resistant behaviors. It’s especially irritating when the activities in question are things I’ve done without a second thought for decades. How has adding a few steps turned them into some of the most stressful parts of my month?

Perhaps I’m overdoing the precautions. Maybe I don’t need to change clothes in the garage for fear of dragging potential virus bits into my house. Maybe I don’t need to wipe all of my groceries down with Clorox wipes. To be honest, I think I’d end up stressing myself out more if I didn’t. If I wore clothes or brought things into the house without sanitizing, I’d be forever wondering if I was putting myself more at risk, and in so doing, put others who I encountered without the six foot spacing or masks on both our faces at risk as well. Frankly, I’m not willing to take the chance.

Using Physical Activity to Mitigate Stress

The solution is to engage in more practices which offset the errand-induced stress before and after I leave the house to make those necessary trips. Instead of focusing on what’s causing my anxiety, I need to turn my attention to those things which have, and always will relieve it.

Sometimes, redirection is the only way around a problem. There’s no pat answer to how much effort needs to be put into cleaning what comes into our homes, including ourselves. but there are numerous methods for relieving the anxiety and stress it causes. Things like yoga, meditation, gardening…even cleaning. Basically, anything that allows me to release the excess energy that’s building up inside me will likely also minimize the amount of anxiety that actually becomes stress. It’s worth a try.

Always Plenty to be Grateful For

My gratitudes today are:

  1. I’m grateful for options.
  2. I’m grateful I can choose how much or how little I’m going to do to help lower the spread of COVID.
  3. I’m grateful for friends who are voluntarily indulging in safe practices, even if it means a lot of extra steps to do normally simple tasks.
  4. I’m grateful I’ve learned not to beat myself up for not accomplishing a huge list of tasks every day.
  5. I’m grateful for abundance; love, friendship, joy, support, opportunities, motivation, inspiration, dedication, peace, harmony, health, balance, philanthropy, and prosperity.

Love and Light


About the Author

Sheri Conaway is a Holistic Ghostwriter, and an advocate for cats and mental health. Sheri believes in the Laws of Attraction, but only if you are a participant rather than just an observer. Her mission is to Make Vulnerable Beautiful and help entrepreneurs touch the souls of their readers and clients so they can increase their impact and their income. If you’d like to have her write for you, please visit her Hire Me page for more information. You can also find her on Facebook Sheri Levenstein-Conaway Author or in her new group, Putting Your Whole Heart Forward

Triumph Over Adversity: Abusers Amongst Us

Exposing Abusers

I met a woman in one of my Facebook groups who has an incredible story of triumph after a larger helping of adversity than any 10 people I know, and continues to have what I can only call grit to keep fighting. She agreed to let me share a small part of what she’s overcome. I know it will inspire some who are struggling and thinking they can’t go on any further alone, and to realize, you aren’t alone, no matter who tries to tell you you are. I haven’t edited what she wrote, except to remove names per her request. I think it’s much more powerful to read her stream of consciousness.

A Woman Alone

10 years ago I was certain I wouldn’t make it to 18, and not necessarily by my own hands. I used to leave journal notes hidden around my room and in my locker about what was going on in life so IF I died people knew what led up to it. Abuse was just life; just normal. I had had chronic pain for 2 years at that point and spent 10/30 days a month zombified or in too much pain to speak.

9 years ago I would date and beg for affections from red flag after red flag we won’t go into, much to mainly my brother’s chagrin, and was financially independent selling under the table hoping to get emancipated. I had my first miscarriage.

8 years ago my best friend died in a car accident and I wanted to follow him. Badly. I got in 3 car accidents within like 50 days after and didn’t drive for a year after his death in fear. I finally talked openly about how I was treated by others, someone broke the law to keep me under control longer. I was raped for the first time. I started spending every minute I could socially as a form of mood control.

7 years ago I tried out and was accepted into a performing arts high school for my senior year; I transferred to ignore my grieving. I worked full time, paid my bills alone, and was still denied emancipation.

6 years ago I graduated, my uncle/father figure died, still worked full time, sold work on the side, and my health issues (pain, constant infections, strange pink dots, you name it) had me living in hospitals under “acute stress disorder,” and I traveled to 7 European countries. I was not considered social anymore, but bubbly when I came around.

5 years ago I moved across the country, had a second miscarriage, moved home, had a third miscarriage, used weed to cope temporarily, became a bit of a gypsy, bought my first car, and completely shut myself in from the physical world.

4 years ago I was raped for the second time, moved home again, escaped a date-rape drug situation, lost a best friend because he threatened to rape me, bought a brand new car, worked mainly 12-16 hour days to avoid my life, was molested on at least 3 occasions in my sleep by someone who skipped town after confessing. I was getting social again, I was Not the good crowd, and I started living with someone that was the peak of my self-sabotage.

3 years ago I got married to my villain, started college, got pregnant, had to stop going to college and running my own businesses, and 9/10 days couldn’t walk. Things got Bad; I ended up in a hospital for sucidal ideation. We separated for 2 months and I had major preterm labor issues. He hoped to push me back over the edge and I’d have happily complied.

2 years ago I gave birth, was immediately a single mom, crawled to get around to take care of him, was hit for the first time by a partner in 6 or 7 years, my chronic pain vanished, diagnosed with PTSD, separated again, stalked, sent to a private shelter, my son started having internal bleeding on top of his medical issues, I got my health back enough to walk and perform small tasks, and I was dealing with the most heartbreaking and terrifying situation of my life thus far; in my opinion.

1 year ago my son recovered from being poisoned, was fairly used to life 90% of the time with mommy, had a stable home with good family and more loved ones than I could count. I still deeply pined over the loss potential for non-violence and kindness, I took measures to minimize stalking and violence but it felt like the system really couldn’t have cared less. Still, we were thriving for the situation and I became “me” again. More social, happy, and business centered; starting to reject self-sabotage like that useless heartache. My son started improving medically too.

9 months ago a legal safe-than-sorry loophole let my son get kidnapped for 5 days, I became a shut in again, I decided to look for my birth parents and found my dad who was never told of my existence – But we get along and I’ll get to meet his side of family in person soon. My son spent 4 straight months with just me and started to undo symptoms of PTSD, anxiety, and progressed so far ahead of his age group intellectually and socially I was going to start him in preschool this year. I became paranoid; I never knew when life could strike again. But things seemed generally on the rise and I haven’t accepted any red flags of friendship or otherwise in my life.

Less than 4 months ago things worsened again by a new/old presence. They’ve been steadily physically and mentally getting worse for the both of us for this. I’m not going to sugar coat it; I’ve made it obvious. I’ve felt like my needs for safety and support have scared friends off. My therapist moved. I’m re-winging it.

1 week ago I was told we’d have temporary safety.
It was the first I’d been so happy and relaxed in 9 months. My son started showing improvements already.

Late last night I was told this safety is being stripped but we can defend why we’re asking in court at a later date; details to follow. My lawyer, confused, pointed out that was very surprising and they’re normally Immediately approved and protected with Less proof involved. And the court hearing is something highly abnormal to be done that way too.
I pointed out the system’s history in letting my family specifically slip through their cracks despite the constant fight for safety.

Within the next few weeks there will be a Lot of court cases I’ll have to be present for. Including charges for violence against me/in front of my son. Investigations are still pending. I’m trying to cling to a hope the system will change and give a damn.

In coming months, no more than a year, mine and my son’s fates are decided by strangers who’ve already shown how much our lives mean to them.

I have made 10 years of mistakes, learning, growing, changing, and progressing and I feel like I Have made progress overall. Bouts of homelessness vs bouts of wealth, bouts of health vs bouts of sickness or abuse. I’ve come so far and and I’m still alive, and even in days when my body will shut down to keep me from pushing my triggers farther I still TRY.

There is no pause, no rest, no breaks within the justice system and I’m still hunting down the justice as well. There is stay fighting or quitting with no middle options, and I’m still fighting.

I can survive, much to my own surprise sometimes, anything. And I’m not going to back down now, even if people are actively avoiding helping me. Eventually someone has to care and defend us. Eventually someone has to demand we’re not going to be ignored and slip through the cracks. I refuse to let my past, my trauma, or my bad decisions/self-sabotage make my son a statistic. I’m not a statistic. And somehow we’re getting the Hell past this in one piece.

Solutions Start With People Caring

When I started writing openly about my parents’ suicides, I started becoming an ear for people like this, though I’m not entirely sure why. Still, I’m grateful to be able to listen, even if I have no solutions, or no direct understanding of abuse. It’s sickening to learn how many women and children are or have been in abusive situations they couldn’t escape. More sickening to realize some didn’t stop at suicidal thoughts, while others succumbed to their abusers, paying with their lives.

What I do know is it’s up to us as human beings, and as a society to protect these people in any way we can. They don’t deserve to be abused physically, mentally, or emotionally. If nothing else, let’s share their stories so more people are aware they’re not alone. So more will speak out and stop allowing so many abusers to go unpunished.

About the Author

Ordinarily, I’d post the author’s bio here, but as this story is being shared anonymously, I’m putting my own in. This isn’t my story, but it is a subject I feel passionate enough about to share the stories others need to tell.


Sheri Conaway is a writer, blogger, ghostwriter, and an advocate for cats and mental health. Sheri believes in the Laws of Attraction, but only if you are a participant rather than just an observer. Her mission is to Make Vulnerable Beautiful and help entrepreneurs touch the souls of their readers and clients so they can increase their impact and their income. If you’d like to have her write for you, please visit her Hire Me page for more information. You can also find her on Facebook Sheri Levenstein-Conaway Author or in her new group, Putting Your Whole Heart Forward

Should We Allow Greatness to Stifle Our Kindness?

One Man’s Greatness…

A question was raised in one of my LinkedIn groups regarding using “Make America Great Again” as a catch phrase for non-political marketing efforts. My response had to do with knee-jerk reactions from people on both sides of the fence. In retrospect, I suppose the people who’ve bought into the phrase and what it’s come to represent would be prime candidates for whatever a company was selling. However, I think it would alienate those who believe the phrase has been nothing more than a diversionary tactic aimed at pitting people against each other and hindering unification and working towards a common good.

Granted, marketing isn’t my strong suit, but over the years I’ve assimilated some of the basics. In my opinion, platforms, campaigns, and slogans with a “Get on the Bandwagon” message are geared towards those whose primary goal is to belong or be accepted by a group they find attractive. People who tend to eschew conformity are likely to look at something like that and walk away in disgust. They’ll look beneath the surface and find it crawling with greed and a self-serving agenda.

Is Belonging Really Worth Fighting For?

Granted, a large slice of the population still believes they need to belong, and to so requires behaving as expected. Small wonder, that cross-section is also stressed out, angry, and exhausted. Trying to fit a mold of someone else’s making is a constant battle in which you’re always trying to paddle upstream.

I’m speaking from experience here. I spent far too many of my formative and productive years trying to belong somewhere. In the end, I was a complete failure because I couldn’t keep up an act that never fit my personality or purpose. It was only after I broke my own chains and began to honor my own truth that I found myself belonging exactly where I was supposed to.

My friends these days, and even my business associates are typically off-beat and go against the traditional grain. They’ve learned that in looking out for themselves, they end up making things better for others as well.

Stress Begets Stress I was angry, frustrated, and feeling left out, my negative energy wound itself into everything I did and everyone I touched. In some cases it meant I was further isolated, but in far too many, it meant dragging others down with my crappy attitude. Once I stopped trying to please people, and to find an environment where I thrived, I began to uplift others rather than drag them down.

Even in school, we’re taught to play the game, get along, and do what we’re told even if it makes no sense whatsoever. I’ve heard kids in Middle School can be the cruelest of all to those who fail to conform, but where did they learn it? We’re not born to be exclusionary.

Watch two- or three-year-olds at play sometime. They may fight over a toy, but rarely will they exclude someone for being different. They’re curious, accepting, and learning who they are. It’s not until they’re part of a larger group under the tutelage of a single adult, or an adult with a helper that they start to encounter the concept of conformity.

Teaching Children Being Like Everyone Else is Rewarded

We’ve been taught from early childhood that cookie-cutter behavior is good, and different is bad. The message comes through loud and clear in expectations that are set when we enter the school system (emphasis on “system”).

  • Sit quietly at your desk and do the tedious, repetitive work
  • Wait your turn to use equipment on the playground
  • Choose sides, and make sure you create the strongest team
  • Do things in the proper order. Don’t jump ahead even if you’ve already figured out the in-between steps.

Sound familiar? I know my precocious young daughters were at odds with the rules they were forced to follow; the slower progress made by some of their classmates when they were ready to move on to the next lesson. One of them began to shut down and go into her own imagination rather than allow boredom to decay her mind. It led to many confrontations with teachers and administrators, some successful, others clearly futile. Teachers, too have been forced into conformity in too many cases.

Marching Beneath a Frayed and False Flag

And now we have thousands sporting MAGA shirts, hats, and other paraphernalia, believing it means more than some political agenda designed to make us not only conform, but ostracize those who don’t.

But it’s up to you. Do you want to let someone else decide what you read, watch, and wear? Will you get on that treadmill in which you spend thousands to have the perfect body; the perpetually youthful face? Are you content to hate those who march to their own drummer, even if you don’t understand why? Is their nonconformity a slap in the face; an act of defiance you desperately wish you were brave enough to take too?

Sure, being unique isn’t always the easy road. In fact, it can be incredibly hard and lonely at times. Far easier to find comfort in a crowd where you blend in and don’t have to make too many decisions. When the piper starts to play, you can follow the crowd over the cliff knowing you always did what you were supposed to; never stood out, never made waves.

A Place for Everyone and Everyone in Their Place

Like anything, there’s a place for everyone. We do need those who follow instructions and don’t try to improvise. There will always be tedious, repetitive jobs that need to be done. Many of those, though have already been mechanized, rendering a lot of humans obsolete. Mere Humans can’t perform those repetitive tasks as efficiently, or as consistently as a robot or machine. They need breaks for meals, rest, and to relieve themselves. And they can be stirred into rebellion over seemingly minor infractions.

There are also those who genuinely don’t want to have to make decisions; don’t want to risk making a mistake. They’d rather have someone guide them and give up a certain amount of freedom in order to avoid failure.

In my mind, that’s it’s own kind of failure. Failure to live up to one’s potential. It’s a choice unto itself. I respect the right of many to make that choice, even as I feel sad for what they might have been were they willing to take a few risks; to fail a few times and pick themselves back up to try again.

We Need More Kindness, Less Greatness I don’t respect is those who take advantage of the ones who are desperate to belong; to fit in. They’re the villains in the piece. They thrive on slogans masking battle cries. It’s in their best interests to gather people behind a cause they don’t truly understand, and which isn’t even in their best interests.

Are we really Making America Great Again? Or are we creating a populous of conformists who’ve convinced themselves someone else is acting in their best interests. Are they ignoring the evidence before their own eyes as they rally to hate who they’re told to hate and revere those who have already sold them down the river?

I’m with those who’ve altered the phrase a bit. Let’s Make America Kind Again.

Grateful for Examples and Lessons

My gratitudes today are:

  1. I’m grateful for the choices I’ve made and the bruises I’ve earned along the way. My road may be rockier, but I have the satisfaction of knowing my decisions, successes, and failures are my own.
  2. I’m grateful for diversity. There’s so much we can learn from people with different backgrounds, outlooks, and beliefs if we stop to listen rather than beat into submission.
  3. I’m grateful for learning to belong without losing myself.
  4. I’m grateful I’ve found a group of friends; a community which values uniqueness.
  5. I’m grateful for abundance; friendship, community, support, individuality, joy, peace, health, harmony, balance, philanthropy, and prosperity for all.

Love and Light


About the Author

Sheri Conaway is a writer, blogger, ghostwriter, and an advocate for cats and mental health. Sheri believes in the Laws of Attraction, but only if you are a participant rather than just an observer. Her mission is to Make Vulnerable Beautiful and help entrepreneurs touch the souls of their readers and clients so they can increase their impact and their income. If you’d like to have her write for you, please visit her Hire Me page for more information. You can also find her on Facebook Sheri Levenstein-Conaway Author or in her new group, Putting Your Whole Heart Forward

Clean Diaper, Full Belly. Finding Our Bliss In Simplicity

When Did We Lose Sight of Simplicity?

Somehow we’ve all gotten caught up, at least to some extent in the myth that happiness is predicated on having more. We’re bombarded, especially this time of year, with entreaties to let our consumeristic selves go wild, and the devil take the credit card bills.

Finding My Bliss by Giving Things Up

As I throw away every ad and delete every email asking me to buy, buy, buy (and only about half of them are from retailers), I feel a certain kind of peace in my decision to keep my holiday purchases to a minimum this year. It takes a lot of the stress out of the holiday season and beyond, and lets me put more focus into accomplishing things I want to see finished by the time the ball drops on New Year’s Eve. Here are a few things I won’t miss this year:

  • Endless hours spent wrapping presents
  • Cramming my car to the gills with gifts for my daughter and son-in-law, many of which they probably neither want nor need (pajamas, socks, and books notwithstanding)
  • Hours agonizing over what I can get them they don’t already have anyway
  • Hours spent online or in the stores which would be better spent bringing my clients’ affairs up-to-date and getting my own projects ready for the next steps
  • Credit card bills in January that leave me questioning what I could possibly have been thinking
  • Dragging out and putting back the bins of wrapping paraphernalia
  • The chaos my living room becomes while I’m wrapping those endless piles of gifts
  • Time spent wrapping in front of the television that would be better spent writing, editing, or doing work for clients
Halting the Pursuit of Stress, er, Happiness

Needless to say, I’m already enjoying the minimal stress of this holiday season more than I’ve enjoyed the holidays in a very long time. My shopping is already done and the wrapping won’t take more than a couple of hours including dragging out the paper and boxes and putting them back. Instead of setting up the card table in front of the TV as I’ve done in years past, I’ll just wrap everything on the dining room table so there’s one less thing to put away when I’m done.

There are hidden benefits to keeping our gift-giving to a minimum this year too. My daughter and I have been working on de-cluttering our environments. Adding more stuff means finding places, or re-cluttering areas we’ve worked so hard to clear. Why would we want to get back on that hamster wheel to nowhere?

Steps to Becoming the Ultimate Non-Consumer

I’m making good use of that “unsubscribe” option at the end of most emails these days. I have no problem if someone is offering me information with a link to their site if I want to learn more. But when someone bombards me with daily emails, each containing a poorly veiled sales pitch, there’ll be one less subscriber under their tree come Christmas. But I’m grateful to all who choose to do business this way as it shows me things I should not do when my goal is to develop a tribe who know, like, and trust me.

Many business-people out there believe very strongly in a numbers game. The more people you put yourself in front of, and the more often you do it, the more sales you’ll have. But if you think about it, their success rate is minimal. They send out daily emails to their 5-10,000 subscribers, so they have to take the time to either write those emails or pay someone to do it for them. Of those 5-10,000 daily emails (and don’t get me started on those who send more than one a day!), I’d say, conservatively, 75% are deleted without being read. Another 20% delete them after seeing they’re nothing but another sales pitch.

Generously, 5% or 250-500 people might actually read those emails, but how many of them actually buy? Remember those same people are also being inundated by emails as well as TV and online ads from Target, Kohl’s, Walmart and more encouraging them to buy the latest fashions, toys, and electronics for their oh-so-deserving families. You can bet most of them haven’t seen a gigantic influx of money to feed these voracious and never-satisfied fires of consumerism. I’m guessing most are going to take care of family before signing up for yet another course or e-book.

Happiness is Simplicity

Though this little rant of mine has strayed a bit off-topic, the point is that if we take it back to basics; to a time when the little things made us happy, we might be surprised to find that the little things still make us happy.

Here are a few of mine, just to get you started:

  • Spending time with friends in an environment conducive to relaxation and conversation.
  • Spending time with my daughter and son-in-law being silly and laughing a lot.
  • Snuggling on the couch with my cats, a book, and a cup of tea.
  • Letting my imagination take over as I spew words on the page with no particular reason or direction.
  • Getting outside and walking, preferably with a friend.
  • Daydreaming
  • Cooking up some kind of tasty mess
  • Baking something just to give it away.

We all have our own version of “clean diaper, full belly” if we just clear the crap and the constant compulsion to buy, the invisible cord that drags us into stores so we might buy on impulse rather than thoughtfulness.

Getting off the Stress-Go-Round

The biggest advantage to this year of simplification is that my stress levels have gone down to almost nothing. My calendar is fairly full, but the tasks required to get there are manageable. There’s even time in between for self-care; something most of us shove to a back burner this time of year, only to pay the price come January (in more than those previously mentioned massive credit card bills).

Simon and Garfunkel said it best, a long, long, time ago:

Slow down, you move too fast
You got to make the morning last
Just kicking down the cobblestones
Looking for fun and feelin’ groovy
Ba da da da da da da, feelin’ groovy

If you find your pleasure being a part of the holiday chaos, so be it. As for me, I’ll be talking to lampposts and watching the flowers grow.

My gratitudes today are:

  1.  I am grateful for slow, easy holidays.
  2.  I am grateful for simplicity, and for recognizing it’s an option.
  3.  I am grateful for work that keeps me busy enough, a social calendar that makes me spend a little less time alone, and that both require me to stay on task more.
  4.  I am grateful for the many things I’ve learned and the progress I’ve made this year. Looking back, it’s been a wild ride, but one helluva year for me. I’m looking forward to seeing where the wheels I’ve set in motion take me.
  5. I am grateful for abundance; work, friendship, lessons, love, joy, time, peace, harmony, opportunities already here and yet to come, inspiration, motivation, balance, limitless possibilities, health, philanthropy, and prosperity.

Love and Light

Sheri Conaway is a writer, blogger, Virtual Assistant and advocate for cats. She believes in the Laws of Attraction, but only if you are a participant rather than just an observer. She is available for article writing and ghost writing to help your website and the business it supports grow and thrive. Her special gift lies in finding and expressing your authentic self. If you’d like to have her write for you, please visit her Hire Me page for more information or to schedule a free informational call. You can also find her on Facebook Sheri Levenstein-Conaway Author

Health Benefits of Writing Longhand

Woke up healthy again today

While writing my morning pages I realized I hadn’t been sick since I started dumping all of my thoughts onto a page utilizing my rusty but still serviceable cursive. While everyone else has been suffering with the latest colds and viruses, I’ve been blissfully healthy. Could it be that 30 minutes of writing every morning is enough to draw the toxins from my body and raise my resistance to airborne germs?

I’ve read my share of articles which talk about writing things down to take away their power, or even burning the paper to let go of something you no longer want. The cathartic benefits of writing things longhand are extolled by many. But I haven’t seen anyone mention it’s efficacy in thwarting viruses.

Is anyone else curious about this?

This train of thought which actually began during one of my daily morning pages sessions sent me on a little bit of an adventure. I needed to see if anyone had actually written anything hinting at, or saying outright that writing by hand helps the body’s immune system. I finally found a mention on stating that the resulting relaxation which occurs when you write by hand does have some health benefits including:

Relaxation has been shown to lower the risk of having a heart attack or stroke, improve mood, and even help avoid health problems like the common cold.

Now I’m getting somewhere!

What do the experts say?

Further research led me to an article in BJPsych Advances which gets more specific about why writing by hand is good for your health. Building on the relaxation factor, the authors, Karen Baikie and Kay Wilhelm connect that relaxation to a reduction in stress. By now, we’ve all heard the same story from the medical profession: stress kills.

Following that line of reasoning, if stress kills, wouldn’t it follow that reduction of stress heals? So say the results of studies on expressive writing in which patients are instructed to write about their deepest darkest feelings for 20 minutes a day (slightly less than the time it takes me to write 3 of my morning pages each day).  The test results appear to support this logic, as the study found:

The immediate impact of expressive writing is usually a short-term increase in distress, negative mood and physical symptoms, and a decrease in positive mood compared with controls. Expressive writing participants also rate their writing as significantly more personal, meaningful and emotional. However, at longer-term follow-up, many studies have continued to find evidence of health benefits in terms of objectively assessed outcomes, self-reported physical health outcomes and self-reported emotional health outcomes.

The authors include a long list of health-related improvements resulting from their studies including improved immunity as I’ve enhanced below:

Longer-term benefits of expressive writing

Health outcomes

  • Fewer stress-related visits to the doctor

  • Improved immune system functioning (bold and italics added)

  • Reduced blood pressure

  • Improved lung function

  • Improved liver function

  • Fewer days in hospital

  • Improved mood/affect

  • Feeling of greater psychological well-being

  • Reduced depressive symptoms before examinations

  • Fewer post-traumatic intrusion and avoidance symptoms

Putting some oomph behind the gratitude

It comes as no surprise to me that several of the articles and blog posts I found on the subject mention gratitudes and the benefits to be found by simply writing them by hand rather than typing them onto a computer screen. The increased focus and reduced distractions found in writing with pen and paper make the brain internalize what is being written. With that internalization comes an emotional release because you’re truly paying attention to the words you’re writing and the feelings they elicit. By the same token, writing about traumatic events gives them less power.

I’ve written about a number of things which are never intended to be seen by others in my morning pages. Often, they’re things which contain a large helping of guilt or remorse. Though in some cases, I’ll probably write about them over and over, I have noticed some reduction in the guilt and pain over certain events and choices I’ve made.

What I write about…and what I don’t

As I write this, I realize the one topic I have not written about in those pages is my relationship, or lack thereof with my youngest daughter. We’ve been estranged now for more than 4 years, and since then, I haven’t seen my granddaughter either. Yet, when I’m writing about the things filling my head and heart, they never come up.

I’ve filled pages with my anger, hurt, and frustration directed at myself, my oldest daughter and other people who aren’t even very important. Yet there’s nary a mention of Jenni in 5 months worth of writing. My only thought is I’m not ready to heal that wound yet, or that I’ve healed it as much as possible without contact.

Long ago, I came to terms with the fact that my daughters are adults and entitled to make their own decisions. I don’t have to like them, and they certainly don’t need my approval of those decisions. But I do have to respect them enough to accept their right to make those choices. I won’t say some of them haven’t broken my heart and made me wish I could help in some way, but over time, I’ve learned to stand back, be supportive, and allow them to learn their own lessons just as I learn mine…the hard way.

And the point is…

It might seem like I’ve wandered away from the original topic, and perhaps, to those who think linearly, I have. But as my mind couldn’t walk a straight line if it tried, you’ll just have to take my word for the fact that all of this is related.

To tie it all together it’s easier to see how writing by hand can benefit mental health, help work through issues and even just relax us. Making the jump between mental well-being and physical health requires us to expand our minds a bit and make some connections which maybe should be obvious but aren’t.

Making the connection

There’s a certain flow that occurs from the brain to the hand and back again when we pick up a pen and start writing. I suppose in some ways, it isn’t unlike an artist picking up a pencil or a paintbrush. We disconnect from everything mechanical or electronic and are suddenly aware of our physical limitations.

The words go from brain to page more slowly, especially if you type as fast as I do. In that slowed down space, thoughts form, but they also drift away, unwritten. The words which need to come out will always find their way to the page while those errant thoughts which have little impact will float away while we’re busy putting down the ones that matter.

Do we know they matter when they hit the page? Not always. But I’m convinced that if they do flow from my brain and out the tip of my pen, they flow through for a reason.

Is it time to start writing your own morning pages?

I’ve referred to my morning pages several times. For those who are unfamiliar with the concept, I invite you to check out Julia Cameron’s website where she offers both the print and online versions of her course, The Artist’s Way. I’ve found it immensely helpful in clearing blocks, dealing with old issues and simply as a way to start my day before plugging in to email, social media and the rest of the technology which is so much a part of our lives these days.

Gratitude will always make things better

As always, I share with you a few of my gratitudes:

  1. I am grateful for the internet which aids my searches and helps me learn new things every day.
  2. I am grateful for friends who have guided me towards books, articles and practices which improve my life on so many levels.
  3. I am grateful for my solitary life. It has led me down introspective paths which broaden my horizons.
  4. I am grateful for inspiration which comes to me in many different forms.
  5. I am grateful for abundance; love, peace, harmony, connectivity, generosity, humanity, peace, joy, hope, philanthropy, and prosperity.

Blessed Be

I invite you to visit my Facebook pages, Sheri Levenstein-Conaway Author and HLWT Accounting. Please also drop by my website, and check out my Hire Me Page. I’ve created these pages as a means of positive affirmation and would be very grateful if you’d “like” them or leave a comment! Thank you!

Photo courtesy of A. Birkan Caghan via Flickr

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