Kitty Stories to Lighten the Mood

Happier Mood Swings

Things have been getting pretty deep in here lately, so I thought it was time to mix things up and lighten the mood with stories, not only of my own clowder of kitties, but the rescues I’ve been helping socialize at Eastwood Ranch Foundation; a new rescue in Agoura.

When the world in general, as well as closer to home gets too heavy for my heart, I retreat to a world where I focus on, and communicate with cats, be they my own, or those awaiting adoption. Looking at the world through their eyes, sharing cuddles, or trying to understand what they want or need tends to bring me more satisfaction than trying to navigate humans.

Lately, my own cats seem to sense the heaviness of my heart. I’m never without at least a couple close at hand, with the rest hovering nearby in case a sudden desperate need for comforting arises. Even when I’m working at the rescue, a couple of staff members have commented on how all of the cats and kittens seem to love me. My heart is warmed, both by the way the cats respond to my attention, and how the resident humans are aware of it.

Body Autonomy: Not Only for Humans

In part, I think it comes down to respecting each feline’s wants and needs. It may sound weird, but I believe in body autonomy, not only for humans, but for animals. It seems to work well with cats, as they want to be the ones who determine whether or not they can be touched or picked up, and by whom. Seems fair to me! Let’s not leave dogs out of this conversation as they, too like to pick and choose to some degree.

There’s a dog on my walking route named Zoey. She’s cute poodle mix who prefers men to women. When she happens to be outside when we go by, I stand back and let her get cuddles from my walking buddy, who she clearly adores. Every so often, she’ll come over and let me get a skritch or two in, but more often, she’s happy with her man cuddles. Her owner is always apologetic, but it doesn’t bother me at all. She knows what she wants, and it’s not like she rejects me, or ignores me. Sometimes, she’ll gaze at me with her ice blue eyes while Jesse is scratching her back. Clearly, we have an understanding.

It’s so simple for animals. Either they like you or they don’t; want you to give them attention, or prefer to watch you, sometimes warily, from a safe distance. By recognizing and accepting that, we contribute positively to the dynamic, and many times, earn the trust of the shyer ones in time.

Taming the Miscommunication Demon

One of the things that complicates the issue between humans is communication, both verbal and non-verbal. Our personal experiences determine how we read things like body language, word choice, and tone of voice…often incorrectly. Maybe we take offense at something the speaker didn’t mean to be offensive, or we offend when that wasn’t our intention. One of the most difficult things to do is choose not to be offended and instead, say something like: “what you said/how you said that offended me because…” Assuming the other person is receptive, it can begin a dialogue in which both parties get to know the other a little better.

Of course, that means you have to respond rather than react, and there are few amongst us who don’t need to work on that one! Meanwhile, if you offend a cat or dog, they WILL let you know about it! Either they’ll smack, bite, or scratch, or give you the cold shoulder. Either way, you know exactly where you stand. Now, I don’t recommend, as humans, we let people know we’re bothered by something in that fashion, improved communication can minimize those moments when we’d like to bite, scratch, or, as I say when my cats show me their hind quarters, give someone the butt.

Trust me when I say I’m as guilty, if not guiltier than the next guy of failing to communicate. My go-to when I’m unhappy with someone, or with what they said or did is to isolate for awhile which can actually make things worse, since I tend to stew while I’m in my hermit hut, turning the teeniest little molehill into Mount Everest. Add in the depression I often work myself into, and it’s not a very tasty stew at all!

ADD Brain Run Amok…Again

This post didn’t go the way I expected it to at all. My original thought was to share some of the antics of my furry family, and that didn’t really happen. But as my ADD brain is the one writing the posts, and not my conscious, somewhat controllable mind, I’m not entirely surprised. I think it wanted me to reach the conclusion I need to treat people more like I treat animals; approaching slowly, and learning how to communicate with them in the language they understand; allowing them to get to know me and my nuances, as I get to know them and theirs.

In a lot of ways, humans are like skittish cats, but with walls and masks to protect their sensitive psyches.  It’s the psyches we all need to learn to approach with caution, and to treat gently and respectfully as most have been traumatized at some point in their existence.

Always Something to be Grateful For

My gratitudes today are:

1. I’m grateful for all the time I get to spend with cats. It heals my soul, and my own, damaged psyche.
2. I’m grateful for friendships which span decades, and have lost the need to step lightly over sensitive topics because they understand and relate to past traumas.
3. I’m grateful for blog posts which almost seem to be writing themselves lately.
4. I’m grateful for more time to write as I slowly disappear from social media. I see now, it was a stopping point, but never meant to be a permanent residence.
5. I’m grateful for a schedule that’s filling up, despite letting a few things fall by the wayside, having outlived their usefulness.

About the Author

Sheri Conaway is a Holistic Ghostwriter, and an advocate for cats and mental health. Sheri believes in the Laws of Attraction, but only if you are a participant rather than just an observer. Her mission is to Make Vulnerable Beautiful and help entrepreneurs touch the souls of their readers and clients so they can increase their impact and their income.

A Change of Vibe

Seeking a Better Vibe

This week, having grown tired of my Maroon 5 station on Pandora, I switched back to the more poignant, mellow strains of Simon and Garfunkel, and friends. It’s proven to be a choice both appropriate and timely.

Songs like “Sounds of Silence”, What’s Going on Here” and “Both Sides Now” reflect not only the downturn in my mood, but how it’s isolating me further and further every day. And yet, belting out a song along with Joni Mitchell, or some of my other 70’s era favorites is releasing a lot of the pressure I’ve allowed to build up over the last week, especially when I don’t get the words quite right, and end up giggling at my own lunacy.

Removing myself and my regular, uplifting and inspiring posts from social media has done more than proven what I already suspected: I’m nothing to others if I’m not being inspiring or uplifting. If I show up and sit in a corner by myself, few will cross the abyss to check in on me, and even less when my absence is virtual. Even though I can’t trust myself to be unselectively cordial, or even civil, every reminder of my now, almost complete isolation is both rude and painful. Frankly, I doubt I’ve recovered emotionally from the aftermath of my hysterectomy when I learned just how unimportant I am to the lives of what I now realize are merely acquaintances. I learned then I can count my friends on one hand and still have leftover fingers.

Maybe Alone Really is Better

They say “no man is an island” but I’m afraid “they” hadn’t met me when those words were penned. I may not be an island when it comes to love and attention from felines, and even the occasional canine. It’s humans I don’t relate well to, and of late, I’m less and less able, much less willing to relate, even on the limited basis I’d grown accustomed to.

Thankfully I have my work, both as a contractor and charitable. One keeps my mind busy and sharp, while the other is an emotional balm to my wounded, broken spirit. Spending 3 hours a week socializing some sweet, affectionate cats and kittens is an absolute joy for me, and I’m excited for each one who has found a home the next time I return. Deciding to volunteer was one of my wiser decisions of late, and I’m seriously considering adding more hours to my week.

It might sound like I’ve initiated another pity party, and perhaps, to some degree, I have. These are troubling times, and I, for one, am especially troubled. Even a trip to Costco was exhausting. People were completely oblivious to everyone and everything around them. I lost count of the number of times I almost had a collision, as people darted from one side of the aisle to the other without looking where they were going. I only hope they show a little more care when they get behind the wheel of their cars! So far, I’ve seen no evidence they have, and my own defensive driving is proving invaluable right now!

Whose Rights Really Matter Now?

It’s almost as if people now feel they have permission to be as inconsiderate, rude, and frankly, insufferable as they can possibly manage given what must be limited imaginations. After all, they bought into a pack of lies as big as one which had a naked emperor parading in front of subjects afraid to tell him the truth.

Have I lost faith in Humanity? Maybe only the ones who still call themselves “Americans”. Do I see things changing for the better any time soon? Not before they get a whole lot worse. Will I, for once in my life, detach well before I get sucked down into someone else’s rule book and agenda? You bet your sweet bippy I will. If I have to cut loose from all but that partial handful of people, and surround myself with cats to do it, so be it. The cats are always happy to see me!

So don’t go looking for me in all the usual places. I’ll more likely be found tooling down the road in my Just-try-and-ignore-me red SUV, singing along with my heroes of the 60s and 70s loud, off-key, and with my interpretation of the lyrics. I’ll either be on my way home to my own clowder who loves me, or off to visit with those who are waiting for their perfect home: with names like Emmy, Katniss, Xena, Blue, Smokey, Serafina, Sophia Loren, Audrey Hepburn, Taylor, and Gato knowing when I get where I’m going, I’ll be greeted with purrs, snuggles, and as much fur-love as I can handle.

I Still Believe in Gratitude

My gratitudes today are:

1. I’m grateful for my new job as a volunteer for an animal rescue.
2. I’m grateful for my day job which only requires limited interaction with people, and that the people I do get to interact with are amazing.
3. I’m grateful for recognizing I’m in danger of being sucked into someone else’s idiocy so I can get the hell out of Dodge well ahead of the circus and the monkeys.
4. I’m grateful for the partial handful of friends who, whether they know it or not, are doing a great deal to keep me only slightly in the red zone on the insanity meter.
5. I’m grateful for a lifestyle which allows me to isolate when the world around me becomes to miserable to bear.

About the Author

Sheri Conaway is a Holistic Ghostwriter, and an advocate for cats and mental health. Sheri believes in the Laws of Attraction, but only if you are a participant rather than just an observer. Her mission is to Make Vulnerable Beautiful and help entrepreneurs touch the souls of their readers and clients so they can increase their impact and their income.

Color My World With Joy

Using Color to Boost My Mood

I’m a fan of bright colors. My wardrobe is mostly jewel tones, and neutral colored shorts and slacks that will go with almost any of my brightly colored blouses. I tend to dress to reflect my mood, with the chakra colors as my guide. Strangely, I have less blue (throat chakra) than any other color in my wardrobe, save yellow (solar plexis chakra) which makes me look jaundiced. As one who uses her voice a lot, I realize it’s rather odd, at least until I remember why I choose a color on a given day.

For reasons I won’t get into now, my clothes are on a free-standing rack in an otherwise seldom-used bedroom that once belonged to my daughter Heather. Gym clothes are on the right with shorts on the very end. Shorts I wear for dancing and when I want to look a tad less casual are on the far left with slacks and jeans to their right. The rest of the rack is taken up with my brilliantly colored blouses in sections by color family.

When I walk into the room in the morning, my first thought is what color do I feel like today? Knowing at least part of my day will be devoted to writing or something writing-related, I do a check to see where I’m feeling I need a little extra help. For example:

• If my creativity is feeling sluggish, I’ll choose orange for the Sacral Chakra
• If I’m feeling tired or low energy, I’ll choose green for the Heart Chakra
• If I’m feeling low on intuition, I’ll choose purple for the Third Eye Chakra

Showing Up in Whatever Color Feels Right

I’m not entirely sure how this practice started, but as the color I choose usually gives me the desired results, I’m not about to question it now! There are even days I’ll choose something quiet and dull (though it’s somewhat hard to find in my wardrobe. The best I can usually do is a more pastel shade, or an animal print in browns and blacks). Those are days I feel like blending in with the world a little bit; not calling too much attention to myself even if I’m spending the whole day at home.

In truth, I do put in an appearance, even on those days by doing a live video on Facebook. I began them at the beginning of my “retreat” when COVID started its inevitable trek through my part of the world, and I chose to isolate a bit earlier than recommended. I thought it would inspire me to take better care of myself for however long it lasted, and in fact, it has.

Though I have only worn makeup once since the middle of March, the videos make me clean up, get dressed, and show up every day. Maybe I only show up in workout clothes with my hair pulled up in a scrunchie, but I’m dressed, I’m wearing a bra, I have pants on, I’ve brushed my teeth and taken my supplements, my face is clean, and my hair is brushed.

The Colors You Choose Change With Your Attitude

In my many iterations, and attempts at self-employment in the past which until recently mostly allowed me to sink further into depression while continuing to deny it, I always lacked a morning ritual, other than getting the girls out of the house and to school. To be honest, I couldn’t bring myself to care about much more, and after dropping the girls off, I was lucky if I started my day by 11:00.

My wardrobe is a reflection on how much I’ve changed. I have no real reason to get up and get moving except a strong desire to get my writing out there, and attract clients I’ll love working with. My only solid responsibilities are to myself and my cats nowadays. But now is when I’ve created morning rituals which typically take me from 8AM when I get up until nearly noon by the time I complete them all. The difference is I’ve learned to love myself and my life, no matter what twists and turns it takes.

I no longer hide behind baggy clothes and dull colors because I’m happy to show up and be seen. I do things to inspire myself, and share them on the off chance they’ll resonate with one of my friends—and more often than not, they do! I’ve learned to recognize the things I do out of habit as part of my productivity for the day, and to give myself credit for keeping those habits alive. I even take pleasure in feeding my body a healthy diet, and tracking what I eat so I can make improvements.

Self-Care Means Caring Enough to Create Healthy Habits

I can look back now and see how easy it was to form healthy habits when I learned to care about me, and how impossible it was in the years when I not only didn’t care, but was on a steady path to self-destruction. Not that I drank or did drugs or took any of the typical destructive paths. My “drug of choice” if you will was neglect.

I slept poorly, took little care with my appearance, kept people at arm’s length, and ate whatever was easy to grab. Microwave meals and pints of Haagen Dazs were my staples, and the only exercise I got was dancing. My muscles were soft and covered with flab. And of course, the rattier I looked, and the higher my clothes sizes went, the worse I felt, and the more I neglected myself, thus perpetuating my decline.

In hindsight, it was the dancing that saved me, along with my writing. I had to have clothes that were comfortable to dance in, and for some reason, even then, I gravitated towards the fuschias, emeralds, and crimsons despite my lousy self-image. In many ways, I made myself stand out long before I was ready, somehow knowing I had to call my own attention to myself before I’d start making changes.

Starting With Whatever Lifts Your Spirits Naturally

Dancing was my sanity and my escape when my daughters were young, but it was a place to belong, even from the sidelines when they got older and more independent. As sad as I’ve been, I’ve always loved to dance. There’s something about the energy that flows in a room full of people dancing. Though I didn’t really know what it was like to belong, I felt like I did when I walked through those double-doors and took my place on the neon-lit dance floor. For a little while, I was part of something, though it took me a few more years and hundreds of thousands of words to figure out how to be more than an extra in the production.

Wearing bright colors are the outer expression of my authentic self, but to truly belong, I had to learn to let people see the imperfections I’d grown up believing needed to be kept under tight wraps. Only when I opened up and let people see that I was broken, bruised, and battered just like they were did I truly take my place in a community that’s become much more than life-support to me through both good times and bad.

Grateful for Everything, Large and Small

My gratitudes today are:

1. I’m grateful for my tendency to gravitate to brighter colors.
2. I’m grateful for the people who taught me how to live, love, and laugh while being my true self and not some cobbled together image of false perfection.
3. I’m grateful for dancing which helped me hold it together when nothing else did.
4. I’m grateful for my membership in a strong, supportive, authentic community.
5. I’m grateful for abundance; love, friendship, joy, dancing, community, support, compassion, kindness, healthy habits, peace, harmony, balance, health, philanthropy, and prosperity.

Love and Light

 

About the Author

Sheri Conaway is a Holistic Ghostwriter, and an advocate for cats and mental health. Sheri believes in the Laws of Attraction, but only if you are a participant rather than just an observer. Her mission is to Make Vulnerable Beautiful and help entrepreneurs touch the souls of their readers and clients so they can increase their impact and their income.

If you’d like to have her write for you, please visit her Hire Me page for more information. You can also find her on Facebook Sheri Levenstein-Conaway Author or in her new group, Putting Your Whole Heart Forward