Detaching for My Sanity
It’s hard to believe, but in this time of social distancing, quarantine, and more recently, curfews, I’m feeling over-peopled, and needing to retreat further into my own space for awhile. I’m even limiting the amount of time spent on social media, and keeping Facebook closed most of the day. Although I guess for other Empaths out there, it probably makes perfect sense.
To put it simply, a world already gone mad has somehow managed to step up the madness, and for people like me, it’s utterly exhausting. Emotions like fear and rage are exuding from the pores of humanity in such quantities as to be an almost visible; palpable; a putrid, green ooze. When it reached an intensity that made itself felt even via electronic connections, I slammed the door hard, and went into my personal happy place where I occupy myself by writing, and reading inspirational books.
The good news is, I’ve nearly caught up to my personal writing schedule after weeks of failure and frustration. If the current pattern continues, I should reach the point where I’m, once again three weeks ahead by Wednesday. I might even see my pre-scheduled blogs reach the four week mark by the weekend. Inspiration runs high as I seek solitude and detachment. Humanity shovels inspiration into the virtual world like manure on a vegetable patch.
Clearing Space and Getting Back on Track
Strangely enough, I’m grateful as it means I’m bringing a long dry spell to a definite end. If it continues, I’ll get to start editing my books (much to my daughter’s joy), and even creating some new fiction. I’ve been wanting to take a whack at a short story for awhile now, but have been neither inspired, nor satisfied with my attendance to existing deadlines. Sometimes, I need to stop finding things to distract me, and instead, use what’s bothering or exhausting me to better purpose.
Funny, I always have choices. Let the world and its occupants distract me from my purpose, or use them as inspiration to further it. I’m embarrassed to admit for most of the last three months, I’ve allowed them to do the former. Fortunately, when my ADD brain gets hold of a bone, it will gnaw it down to nothing after awhile, oblivious to anything else that’s happening around me. At least I’ve had the foresight to ensure there are easy-to-grab meals before I dive into my next barrage of productivity.
Interestingly, I took the time to clear some space as well, even if it’s only in my refrigerator. I cleared out the oldie moldies, which could well be construed as making space for the new. I created another large salad from which I’ll eat portions with or without an offering from my freezer over the next few days. In my own way, it clears my slate and leaves me no excuses for sitting down at the computer, or taking breaks to work on the jungle in my yard.
It isn’t unusual for me to go weeks or even months creating or accomplishing in a lackadaisical manner, only to spring forth one day, and knock out huge chunks of what I’d left dangling before I lost my momentum. I suppose you could say I have two modes: off, and full speed ahead. I’m definitely long over do for more of the latter.
Even as I type, I feel my brain trying to re-engage and drag me off on another task. Perhaps folding the towels in the basket I left on the dining room chair a few days ago, or maybe gather the trash from around the house and get the cans out to the curb. But the side that’s busy creating and accomplishing stops monkey mind in its tracks—this time. In essence it’s saying: You’ve had your turn. Now it’s mine so get out of the way or I’ll run right over you!
Sure, I’m tempted to see what the little envelope on my email program has to offer. But as I’ve been deleting almost everything I receive lately, I know it’s not worth stopping the flow for something so trivial and unimportant. I don’t have Facebook open right now, so I can’t see if there are any new posts or responses—and I like it that way!
Procrastination is a Choice
The truth is, I know how easy it is for me to get distracted, and to completely avoid writing; getting caught up, or reaching the point where I can even see where one of the million-and-three ideas I’ve jotted down might take me. Knowing myself as well as I do, I can nip those urges in the bud when I’m feeling myself getting into the “zone”, though it took me a few years to figure out I actually had the choice.
Boy, was that a revelation! Learning I could actually choose to let procrastination keep me from getting anything worthwhile accomplished was one of the greatest “Aha moments” of my career. Knowing now I can shove it out of the way whenever I want is what’s allowed me to set a schedule and stick to it most of the time. But I couldn’t have done it if I hadn’t realized I owed myself at least the level of commitment I’ve always given to others.
Once that revelation sunk in, I finished drafts and edits, got on a tighter schedule for blog posts, and even established a monthly schedule of re-posts to Medium. Still, there are times I forget and let things slide. Then comes a frenzy of activity like I’m enjoying now, when no one, and nothing is allowed to get in my way.
A Time to be Social and A Time for Detaching
I’ve learned I need a reason to disconnect for awhile, though. Thankfully, Humanity is happy to assist me periodically. Sometimes it’s the people around me who, though I love them dearly, sometimes need more drama than me. More often lately, it’s the world at large that seems to have entered a veritable twilight zone of insanity, and shows no indication of exiting gracefully any time soon.
If there’s one thing I can detach from easily, it’s collective insanity. I find it exhausting and pointless. My participation is certainly not required. I learned long ago that letting myself get sucked in will always result in having to make a painful exit. Said exit will always have at least temporary repercussions during which I’ll likely dive further into hermit mode where I’ll stay until the pain and often, embarrassment have passed.
These days, I try not to dive down too deeply, as there are people in my life who will come searching if I stay in my cave too long. Often, I’m fine, just busy letting my muse run wild, but since becoming a social animal; at least within the limits of my abilities, I do need to be considerate of those who never feel the need to eschew society for days or weeks on end.
Exuding Gratitude from the Depths of My Being
My gratitudes today are:
- I’m grateful for the return of my procrastination busting self.
- I’m grateful for the inspiration I receive from a world gone mad.
- I’m grateful for a library that could easily keep me occupied for decades.
- I’m grateful for ideas jotted on note cards, phone apps, white boards, and sticky notes to keep the writer in me happy for as long as I wish.
- I’m grateful for abundance; ideas, motivation, inner strength, friends, love, joy, humor, peace, balance, health, harmony, philanthropy, and prosperity.
Love and Light
About the Author
Sheri Conaway is a Holistic Ghostwriter, and an advocate for cats and mental health. Sheri believes in the Laws of Attraction, but only if you are a participant rather than just an observer. Her mission is to Make Vulnerable Beautiful and help entrepreneurs touch the souls of their readers and clients so they can increase their impact and their income. If you’d like to have her write for you, please visit her Hire Me page for more information. You can also find her on Facebook Sheri Levenstein-Conaway Author or in her new group, Putting Your Whole Heart Forward