The Small Stuff Can Make or Break You

Small Wins, Great Improvements

With a little help from a friend, I finally got the LED shop lights in my garage hooked up to the switch on the wall, thanks to an outlet another friend had put in for me a few months ago. The old-fashioned, fluorescent bulb style lights my ex had hard-wired in after trash digging on one of his construction jobs were getting worse and worse. Whenever there’s any dampness in the air, they don’t want to come on, and as they’re the old style of fixture, I can no longer get ballasts or bulbs for them. Eventually, I’ll have to disconnect them, and take them all down, but for now, my garage is as bright as day in all the previously dark corners.

Having my car out of the garage to install the lights meant a couple of other fixes could happen as well. It makes me so happy to flip the switch, and have all the lights come on without the finickiness of the old fluorescents! The small things in life make me so happy! Speaking of small things, I was panicking because SCE had scheduled 2 maintenance outages 10 days apart, and the second was supposed to be on November 30th. To most people, it would be a small inconvenience, but I use the last day of the month, especially when I’m lucky enough to have it fall on a weekend, to prep for monthly billing. Having the power out most of the day would have been a massive inconvenience, to say the least. Fortunately, the powers that be rethought their plan and moved the second outage to December 7th which is much better for me! Another small win for my team!

Internal Setbacks

At the same time, a lot of small stuff has been weighing me down of late; things I know are fleeting, yet have allowed to drag my heart and mind away from what’s important. Even though I know it’s a temporary lapse, it’s wreaked its share of havoc on my life for the last couple of weeks. However, that havoc, and the mindset which sapped my energy and motivation for a time has brought me full circle to where I’m writing daily. In so doing, I get to put things back into perspective, and fan the flame of my spark of hope with each post I write.

As I see it, these mental and emotional setbacks which force me back to basics (e.g. writing regularly) are reminders I’m neglecting myself in some fashion. Just as failing to take care of my physical self leads to an increase in aches and pains, and flare ups of arthritis, neglecting my mental and emotional self creates a plethora of internal aches and pains when the floodgates open, immersing my heart and spirit in old, unhealed traumas and outdated coping mechanisms. Only writing seems to allow me to work through those deep-seated, toxic cesspools.

Stretching the Mind, Body, and Spirit

Just as my body needs to stretch and move every day, so does the body housing all of my emotions, both experienced and withheld. As such, stretching my emotional self through my writing, is as necessary, if not more so, than stretching my body regularly. In both cases, the stretches need to be uncomfortable, if not a little painful in order to be effective. Failing to take the time to air those emotions is the internal equivalent of sitting on my butt all day. In both cases, I get stiff, sore, and need to move things around until they’re loose enough to flow more easily.

Admittedly, it’s usually easier to move my body than the well of unmanaged emotions I’ve bottled up for decades because, all too often, I have to remove another layer of protection to get to the next pit of feelings. I was taught from early childhood how to bottle things up, but not how to work through the pain, express the emotions, and let them go. Although I’ve made significant progress in this second half of my life, old habits still come roaring in when I let my guard down.

This daily writing is doing so much more than simply airing the emotions and preparing them for release. It’s also addressing those coping mechanisms which are all too happy to jump in in a misguided attempt to protect me from harm when instead, they’re doing more harm than good. If I’m ever tempted to give in to them, I have only to look back at my parents and the lives they led. If I am certain of nothing else, it’s the fact I do not want to live my life like they lived theirs. Only now do I see what a cold, lonely, depressing place that would be.

Stop Sweating the Small Shit

Yes, I have my sad, lonely, depressed moments. The difference between me and my parents is I’m able to own those moments, and dig deep inside to release the pressure they only released by drinking excessively. Even then, it was only a temporary release, as they never actually worked through the impacted emotions to free themselves from the relentless grip on their lives. Truth be told, they’d be mortified by the way I air my deepest thoughts and feelings semi-publicly like this. (I don’t delude myself I have a huge following, but the one I have is precious to me)

While I may sweat the small shit for a little while every so often, I’ve learned, and am still learning to write about it, and even talk about it to my few, precious, real friends when I need to, but also to help myself keep healing. I do hope, in being able to drag things out of my psyche, autopsy, and release them into the much wider Universe, I truly am (as some have suggested) helping someone else out there realize old lessons in suppressing emotions were dead wrong. Only by pulling them out, sometimes kicking and screaming, examining them microscopically, and going through the process of feeling them once and for all allows the healing process to proceed.

We are all a huge conglomeration of feelings and experiences, yet all too often we try to deny the feelings. Kindness and compassion aren’t just words on social media. They’re gifts we give, not only to ourselves, but to the Universe itself because we touch every, single soul on this planet in some way, and perhaps elsewhere in the Galaxy as well.

Grateful for Breakthroughs

My gratitudes today are:

1. I’m grateful for friends who offer me new experiences.
2. I’m grateful for my following, even if I’m never going to be an “influencer”. I know what I write isn’t going to resonate with the many, but rather, with the few.
3. I’m grateful for the plethora of ideas which have been filling my head, and spilling out onto the screen the last couple of weeks. May it continue unabated.
4. I’m grateful for the encouragement I’m getting, letting me know my words aren’t falling on deaf ears. I know those who’ve given up on me don’t really matter in the general scheme of things. They weren’t meant to walk my path for long, if at all.
5. I’m grateful for learning to let go of other peoples’ expectations; even if some of those people are blood family.

About the Author

Sheri Conaway is a Holistic Ghostwriter, and an advocate for cats and mental health. Sheri believes in the Laws of Attraction, but only if you are a participant rather than just an observer. Her mission is to Make Vulnerable Beautiful and help entrepreneurs touch the souls of their readers and clients so they can increase their impact and their income.

Treasure the Small Stuff

Appreciate the Small Stuff

Over a year has passed since I first entered quarantine. I’d like to say it didn’t change much in my life, but that would be a lie. Needing to detach from people physically even more than usual, I had to find ways to not only keep myself entertained, but connected to the community I’ve become a part of in recent years.

Doing so gave me the opportunity to create new habits to fill the space left open by cancelled gym trips, dance nights, and weekly shopping trips. The best part is, it helped me expand my journey to become a more authentic, vulnerable Human Being.

The first thing I recognized was my extroverted friends would have a tougher time with isolation than I did as an introvert. Having already established a practice of sharing inspirational posts on Social Media, I decided to expand it by creating daily gratitude posts. Starting each post with “Happy {day of the week} also helped me remember what day it was so I wouldn’t miss the newly added, thrice-weekly ballet classes, nor Line Dance Thursdays via Zoom. I expanded my practice of ending blog posts with 5 gratitudes to shorter posts on Facebook.

New Healthy Habits

The funny thing is, the daily gratitude posts ended up helping me as much or more than the friends for whom it was intended. It’s truly been a “life imitates art” moment for me. Those posts, and the response I’ve gotten encouraged me to show up even more with daily Facebook Lives. Even when I’ve been raw and emotional, I’ve shown up most of the time, though there’ve been a few exceptions.

In order to show up on video, I had to make at least a token effort to look presentable which gave rise to a new morning routine:

• Get dressed after putting my contacts in, even if only in gym clothes
• After breakfast, brush my teeth, take all my supplements, wash and moisturize my face, brush my hair, and scoop the sandboxes (not necessarily in that order)

I’ve learned these simple, and perhaps obvious additions have done wonders for both my mental and physical health. In the first place, getting dressed makes me feel like I’m actually accomplishing something, whereas spending the day in pajamas left no clear delineation between sloth and work time. Second, ensuring I take my supplements every day no matter what has created more consistency in my healthy habits.

Like my blog posts, I’ve had to come up with topics to talk about, not just 3 times a week, but daily. Fortunately, I do my best thinking in the bathroom, especially while brushing my teeth, so it hasn’t been a stretch finding something to talk about every day. Often, it’s inspired by something I read on Facebook while eating my breakfast, or something I shared in my gratitude post. Honestly, as a writer, my brain is always whirling with ideas, so the trick is to grab one as it flies by.

People Need People

Photo-simonrumi via Flikr

By far the best addition to my routine has been the gatherings with a small group of friends most Saturdays. What we do has evolved over time, both as COVID numbers drop, and we all got vaccinated. We’re all still careful around others, but as we’ve all been especially cautious overall, we feel reasonably safe lowering our guard a little these days.

Staying healthy physically has been the biggest challenge, especially in the first 8 or 9 months. I didn’t feel comfortable walking in my neighborhood as a lot of people had added daily walks to their routine for their own sanity’s sake, and masks were hit and miss. As people have gone back to work, the streets have been clearer, and I’ve recently begun adding walking back into my routine, recent arthritic flare-ups in my knees permitting.

But the most effective use of my time for maintaining muscle tone, balance, and strength, has been the thrice-weekly ballet classes, and the hour and a half to two hours of line dancing once a week. Not only does it mean I’m moving nearly every weekday, there’s a social aspect I’ve learned, even doing something together at a distance helps satisfy.

Embracing the Changes

All in all, the changes, the challenges, and the solutions have created a new normal with it’s own set of benefits I’ve come to treasure. Even being told recently that Trader Joe’s is now allowing customers to bring in their own re-usable bags again elicited a feeling of joy. Not only will it simplify my shopping trips a little, but it’s a small step towards a return to normalcy, albeit a new, improved version.

I’ve grown comfortable having my office in the living room where I throw the blinds on the sliding door wide every morning. I enjoy being in the front of the house all day, where the cats either hang out on one of the sofas, or wander over to get some attention while I’m working. My outside cats often lounge on the patio, and have learned meowing at the door will get me to come out and give them attention too. Somehow, I feel more connected when I’m not hiding out in a small back bedroom where the window looks out on my neighbors’ houses instead of my own backyard. Oddly enough, it feels both more open, and more private at the same time.

I’ve grown so used to doing things a certain way, and spending my days in the front of the house rather than the back that I’m a little sad it’s slowly coming to an end. Sure, there are still at least a couple of months left when I’ll dance via Zoom, but as long as ballet is virtual, I’ll leave things as they are. I like having more room to move around, and as it gets closer to summer, more light pouring in the window as I work, dance, and even meditate.

Silver Linings

Even losing my soul cat, Dylan has had a silver lining. Scrappy Doo spends a lot more time with me, purring and cuddling. Mulan and Pyewacket are also asking for more attention, and hiding out in the bedroom less and less. In fact, Mulan has tried to participate in my dance nights lately by dropping a toy in the middle of the floor so I’ll give it a kick so she can chase it. Time I spent interacting with Dylan, and more peripherally, the other cats is now theirs to claim at will, and I’m getting a chance to know each one of them better, and more intentionally.

Many doors closed last March, but many new ones opened as well, if I open my heart to see them clearly. Some will close soon, but though I’m saddened by the thought of letting go, I’m encouraged by experiences of the last year that highlighted the adaptability of me and my community, and assure me whatever ends will be to allow even better opportunities to come in.

Grateful for Changes

My gratitudes today are:

1. I’m grateful for everything in my life; new, old, and yet to come.
2. I’m grateful for the relationship I’ve built with Pyewacket, Mulan, and Scrappy Doo since Dylan passed.
3. I’m grateful for my little pod of friends who’ve been there to help each other through the sad times, and celebrate the happy ones.
4. I’m grateful for all the small changes that brought me where I am today.
5. I’m grateful for abundance; friendship, laughter, hugs, joy, love, inspiration, motivation, opportunities, determination, peace, harmony, health, balance, philanthropy, and prosperity.

Namaste

 

About the Author

Sheri Conaway is a Holistic Ghostwriter, and an advocate for cats and mental health. Sheri believes in the Laws of Attraction, but only if you are a participant rather than just an observer. Her mission is to Make Vulnerable Beautiful and help entrepreneurs touch the souls of their readers and clients so they can increase their impact and their income.

If you’d like to have her write for you, please visit her Hire Me page for more information. You can also find her on Facebook as Sheri Levenstein-Conaway Author

Learning to Appreciate Small Stuff During the Pandemic

Reveling in the Small Stuff

I’m spending a lot more time with my own thoughts lately. It would be easy to let them take me down a long dark tunnel into a deep, gloomy abyss of self-pity. Once, I would have succumbed. Thankfully, I left that woman far behind, and none too soon. Now I use the time to think about the many things I have to appreciate; the many things that make my life and world a beautiful place even when I’m spending most of it alone for the moment. Here are a few of my mini revelations:

• Tomorrow is often soon enough
• Digging in the dirt is cathartic
• Birdsong is the only music I need when I’m working outside
• Getting a good workout doesn’t have to mean lifting a bunch of inert weights or riding a machine to nowhere
• Patience is easier to achieve than I thought
• There are days I just have to do nothing, and that’s OK
• Being creative about how I stay connected with friends and family helps everyone
• Sitting on the couch with a cat on my lap is often the best thing I can do for self-care
• Being an introvert is a huge advantage. It doesn’t mean I’m always OK with being alone, but I can do it for a lot longer without going crazy.
• Living alone is more of an advantage than a disadvantage. I don’t have to live with anyone’s quirks but my own and those of my cats.
• Without people around, it’s unlikely I’ll become homicidal
• My life moved faster than I realized
• Slowing down doesn’t mean I don’t accomplish anything. In fact, in many ways, I accomplish more, especially when it comes to things I’ve been putting off for a long time.
• Sometimes just showing up with a list of gratitudes or a Facebook Live can make a difference for someone else
• Gargling with ACV and warm water really does clear out the goop in my throat the allergies deposit, thereby stopping the resultant cough.
• The sound of Dylan’s (my cat) snore is one of the most comforting sounds I know

Shifting the Journey Inward

Nowadays, going inward is more a journey of discovery. I get to learn things about myself that were hidden in the normal hustle and bustle of my life. Staying home instead of going to the gym or dancing on specified days leaves me lots of time for introspection. The good news is, I really like what I’m discovering.

Sure, the first couple of weeks were hard. I didn’t quite know what to do with myself, and spent my days wandering around the house, plopping in front of the TV, and playing games on the computer. I couldn’t even manage to keep up with my blog writing or anything else that could be considered productive.

Yet it was time spent inside my head that actually cleared the fog and inspired me to start writing again, add some kind of physical activity to my days, resume my regular stretching exercises, and more. I discovered I’m not truly happy unless I can look back on my day and see that I’ve accomplished something, even if it’s tiny. As long as I’ve made progress, I feel happy and fulfilled.

Progress is Progress, No Matter How Small

Some days, that progress might be as simple as brushing my teeth, taking my supplements, and washing my face. Others, I clear another swath of weeds from the planter in my front yard, or vacuum and mop my floors. The more I focus on making my world a little brighter, the more I seem to achieve.

My sleep schedule has been turned on its ear lately which means I don’t really get going until 10 or 11 most days. Still, I’m able to work on a blog post or two nearly every day, post a list of gratitudes to Facebook, and even do a video. As an added bonus, doing the video ensures I brush my teeth, take my supplements, wash my face, and get dressed every day.

I’m learning one small change has a snowball effect, and soon, becomes a larger, more all-encompassing change for the better. There was a time I’d have said If I have to do all of those things before I can do a video, I’ll just pass on it. Now, I realize, it’s not a case of “have to” at all. I get to indulge in some personal care, and I get to show up every day for my friends and anyone else who’s interested. It is such a gift to be able to show up and give a little pep talk every day. How I ever saw it as a chore, I don’t know.

Movement and Momentum Are Relative

I’m fortunate in having my perspective change a little every day. I may not know where my next client will come from, or what they’ll require, and the stock market is in the toilet at the moment, though there’s still hope as far as I’m concerned. What I do know is getting to show up every day to try to find that spark of hope for myself and everyone else is one of the greatest pleasures I’ve ever had. To demonstrate with my own life that things may be more thorns than roses at times, but patience allows the roses to bloom in time.

I’ve also learned it’s OK to struggle sometimes, and to fall back a few paces as long as I don’t plant myself and refuse to get up and try again. There are days when I need to sit down wherever I’ve landed and rest for a bit. There’s no shame or guilt in needing to take a break. Unlike Christopher Robin, there’s no risk of going nowhere if I stop hopping for a few hours, or even a couple of days. I’ve already proven I’ll ultimately get up and start moving again; slowly at first, but with increasing momentum as I rejoice in the small accomplishments.

Riding Life’s Roller Coaster More Consciously

My life has always been a roller coaster ride. Sometimes, I’m diving down into the pits, but I know now those dives will give me the momentum I need to rise up even higher the next time. The pits have gotten shallower too, and are rest stops before I have to pedal a little faster to get up the next mountain. It’s not always easy, but it’s exhilarating, and full of surprises.

When I was younger, I pushed the envelope a lot with my mom. I hated being held back by someone else’s expectations and rules. In hindsight, I had to learn how and when to successfully break free, which took me a few more decades. Now I know there’s nothing more enervating than making and breaking my own rules over and over again.

Rejoicing in Gratitude and My Many Blessings

My gratitudes today are:

1. I’m grateful for the time I’ve had to dig deep into my own psyche.
2. I’m grateful for all the little things I’m learning bring me great pleasure.
3. I’m grateful for Facetime with my friends, and Zoom with my dance community.
4. I’m grateful for the opportunity to inspire others and bring hope to a difficult time.
5. I’m grateful for abundance; hope, love, friendship, community, inspiration, motivation, expanding, growing, believing, belonging, health, peace, harmony, philanthropy, and prosperity.

Love and Light

 

About the Author

Sheri Conaway is a Holistic Ghostwriter, and an advocate for cats and mental health. Sheri believes in the Laws of Attraction, but only if you are a participant rather than just an observer. Her mission is to Make Vulnerable Beautiful and help entrepreneurs touch the souls of their readers and clients so they can increase their impact and their income. If you’d like to have her write for you, please visit her Hire Me page for more information. You can also find her on Facebook Sheri Levenstein-Conaway Author or in her new group, Putting Your Whole Heart Forward