Making Self-Care a Priority

I Deserve Self-Care

Today is all about taking care of me, whether it’s eating healthier, doing the things I do daily anyway, like brushing my teeth and taking my supplements, or finally getting to something I’ve put off for almost 2 months. The main thing is, I’m focusing on all the things I can do to make myself a better person inside and out.

It’s so easy to look at a task whose only purpose is to make yourself feel better and tell yourself it can wait until later. The truth is, that’s the task that can’t wait. The better you feel, the more likely you are to tackle the things you don’t like doing, but need to be done. When you’re feeling better about yourself, or you’ve taken the time to see to your own needs first, your cup is full so you have infinitely more to give to others. Your entire outlook on the world improves exponentially!

If you’re like me, you spent far too many years making sure everyone else got what they wanted or needed, and neglected yourself to the point you finally had no more to give…to yourself or anyone else. Trust me when I tell you, your body will give out before your willingness to continue giving. Your body, mind, and spirit will shout “ENOUGH!” and shut down for as long as it takes to rebuild at least some of your energy and defenses. But don’t ever believe they’ll stay shut down long enough to full your cup to the top. That part is up to you, and you alone.

Set Your Boundaries to Protect YOU

Guess what? You are allowed to shout “ENOUGH!” yourself, and tell everyone and everything they’re taking a back seat to your own self care for awhile. You are allowed to take whatever time you need to fill your own cup full to overflowing if you deem it necessary. It won’t take as long as you think, as long as you enforce your boundaries, and keep the focus on yourself.

Granted, it’s harder when you have young children, or an invalid parent to care for, but they have to sleep sometime, and if that’s when you block out time to care for you, then so be it. The key is to do it, and not feel guilty because you didn’t get another load of laundry done, or the dishwasher filled. You’ll feel more like doing them, and do them more efficiently once you’ve allowed your own resources to be restored. Your mind will be sharper, your body will be more responsive, and best of all, you won’t feel so overwhelmed if you’ve taken the time to read part of that book, or give yourself a mini-facial, or get out in the garden. It doesn’t matter what it is that makes you feel restored, and you don’t need to feel guilty about the time you’ve spent doing it. You deserve to feel healthy and at ease.

You Get to Mitigate Your Stress

I learned the hard way, there will always be stressors in your life. I thought my biggest stressor was my job, and the people I worked with. Once I left the job, my stress level went down for a little while, but it came back, full force in due time, why? Because my biggest stressor was ME! I was the one berating myself for not getting things done, or finding a way to make more money, or looking at my house and thinking I should be cleaning it more now I had the time. I filled my head with all those ugly “coulda, shoulda, wouldas”. Me, and nobody else.

Though I was home by myself most of the time, I failed to use some of  that “free” time to show myself appreciation for all the effort I made, no matter the direction or purpose. I failed to allow myself to do things for the sole purpose of making me feel good. I kept piling on expectations, but provided no rewards.

Now, I take the time to read a book, and block out the world for a little while. I indulge in a 15-minute facial. I make a point of brushing my teeth and taking all my supplements right after breakfast. But best of all, I write a daily blog post with my five gratitudes not for others, but for me, because doing so not only makes me feel a sense of accomplishment every day, but because it reminds ME to be grateful for every, single moment of every, single day!

Grateful for my Low Stress Life

My gratitudes today are:

1. I’m grateful for learning I have to put self-care first.
2. I’m grateful for all the things I’ve put in place which I get to do every, single day.
3. I’m grateful for friends who encourage me to put me first, either by their words, their cheer leading, or, in some cases, by showing me I’m not a priority to them.
4. I’m grateful for dance nights, for daily walks, and for ballet which are, for the most part, non-negotiable parts of my week. They’re for my own benefit, though, if they help someone else, that’s the cherry on top of the hot fudge sundae I call Life.
5. I’m grateful for getting up every day, to loving, but demanding cats who refuse to let me sleep in any more, because they know, better than I do the later I sleep, the more sluggish I’ll feel.

About the Author

Sheri Conaway is a Holistic Ghostwriter, and an advocate for cats and mental health. Sheri believes in the Laws of Attraction, but only if you are a participant rather than just an observer. Her mission is to Make Vulnerable Beautiful and help entrepreneurs touch the souls of their readers and clients so they can increase their impact and their income.

Love the Food You’re With

Treating Food Mindfully

Lately, as I munch on a healthy meal of salad or vegetables, and soup, or some kind of protein, I find myself thinking about what I’m going to have for dessert. Although it might as easily be a piece of fruit as a piece of dark chocolate, it dawned on me, I’m not giving the food in front of me the love and attention it deserves. In fact, as often as not, I’m bolting it down so I can get to what my brain thinks is the “good stuff”.

The truth is, what’s in front of me is good stuff, because I chose it not only for nutritional value but for its appeal to my senses, including sight, and taste buds. It deserves to be savored, and appreciated as much, or more than the piece of dark chocolate, or the 100 calorie yogurt bar I might consume afterwards. Not only that, by rushing through the meal, I’m, in all likelihood, overeating, because I don’t allow my stomach and brain to form the connection that says, “I’m full. I don’t need anything more.”

I’ve started buying salad kits, not because they’re a whole lot less time consuming than putting a salad together from scratch by the time I add onions, tomatoes, bell peppers, mushrooms, and avocado, but because my brain thinks it’s one of the easier, grab-and-go meals I tend to favor. Plus, I get the pleasure of chopping a few vegetables, a task that’s sure to brighten my day.

Slow Down to Enjoy the Experience

Time and time again, I’ll be bolting a meal in front of the TV or computer, when I have to stop and remind myself to slow down, savor the different flavors on my tongue, and chew thoughtfully, and thoroughly. The food on my plate is a gift I give to myself to fuel my body so it can line dance, do ballet, or simply keep my space clean.

Whether I’m concentrating all my attention on keeping my body in the proper position while executing a piece of choreography, dumping 40-pound bags of cat sand into buckets and breaking down the boxes, or typing another blog post, or chapter of a book, how I fuel my body affects how well I do each task, and more, how well my brain works while doing it.

If I’m paying so much attention to my mind and body, doesn’t the meal I’m eating deserve the same attention? I’ve already learned I eat less when I savor what I’m eating, and allow the various flavors to perform a concert on my tongue. Yet I have to remind myself every time I sit down to a meal to slow down, chew mindfully, and relish the flavors. In other words, enjoy the process instead of just eating to fuel my body and mind, or satisfy a craving.

Releasing Outgrown Habits

I know a large part of the frustration I feel when trying to release a few more pounds has a lot to do with the way I treat my food. In simple terms, when I fail to respect a meal, I eat more, and release less, no matter how many thousands of steps I take that day. As I keep raising the bar for myself activity-wise, I find myself bolting food more often when I feel compelled to rush from one task to the next.

In fact, that’s when the slow, steady, mindful eating is even more critical. Eating is, or should be a time to slow down, and take a break from whatever I’m doing. Yet more often than not, I’m either working, watching TV, playing a game on the computer, or reading. None of these activities allows me to simply enjoy the food; the taste, the texture, the way it begins to slowly fill me up. As a result, I keep getting up, looking for something else to satisfy the need in me for those tastes and textures.

I’m learning to stop and ask myself if I’m really hungry before getting up and going into the kitchen. Unfortunately, my brain still tries to tell me I should be hungry because it’s been a certain amount of time since I last ate. Yet when I don’t think about it, I may eat breakfast at 9, and not think about lunch until 2. Convincing myself that’s OK is another story entirely.

Eating When You’re Hungry

How often do I look up from the task I’ve been working on, see it’s 1:30 or 2 and immediately stop and go scrounging around the kitchen. At that point, I bolt down whatever I’ve found, go back to work, and a little while later, grab something else to eat whether I’m hungry or not.

I know part of it has to do with the years I used food as a panacea for all the things that were wrong in my life. I ate because I thought it made me feel better, even though I barely tasted what I ate. I simply kept shoving food in my mouth, oblivious to quantity, quality, or satiation. It was small wonder I went to bed and lay awake for awhile as heartburn, or an upset stomach made it impossible to find sleep.

Though I’m still learning to slow down, I have made great strides towards eating out of boredom, and sitting in front of the TV late at night with a giant bag of Skinny Pop at my side. I’ve learned, like with the premixed salads, to buy a case of single-serving bags instead of the giant one. That way, if I really have to have the popcorn, it’s a single 100-calorie bag.

Portion Control to Halt the Binging

Portion control is definitely my friend. If I tell myself a single serving is all I can have, I’m more likely to spend a little more time with my food, and give it at least part of my attention. I also feel a little less guilt about eating 1 bag later in the evening than I like, than in sitting on the couch, eating until I’m in pain.

Mindful eating, like mindfulness itself is a process you need to practice over and over again. It doesn’t typically come naturally, though the more you learn to be mindful with everything you do, the more you enjoy life, and the kaleidoscopic beauty of every step you take, every breath, and every moment.

Though I speak today of eating mindfully, it’s the beauty, the colors, the panorama I seek in all aspects of my life.

Grateful for Mindfulness

My gratitudes today are:

1. I’m grateful for discovering mindfulness, even if I’m only in the early stages, and may never actually master it. Each step I take opens my eyes to more possibilities.
2. I’m grateful for becoming more aware of the things I do, and how I do them.
3. I’m grateful for new lessons which come to me once I take a few more steps towards learning the ones I already have.
4. I’m grateful for possibilities which continue to unfold as I evolve.
5. I’m grateful for abundance; love, life, mindfulness, new days, new beginnings, endings, potential, inspiration, motivation, tenacity, joy, friendship, peace, harmony, balance, health, philanthropy, and prosperity.

Namaste

 

About the Author

Sheri Conaway is a Holistic Ghostwriter, and an advocate for cats and mental health. Sheri believes in the Laws of Attraction, but only if you are a participant rather than just an observer. Her mission is to Make Vulnerable Beautiful and help entrepreneurs touch the souls of their readers and clients so they can increase their impact and their income.

If you’d like to have her write for you, please visit her Hire Me page for more information. You can also find her on Facebook as Sheri Levenstein-Conaway Author