One Intention for 2025: Be More Like Max

Finding Intention By Way of the Cat

When I was finally able to corral Max and take him to the vet for his latest wounds which didn’t seem to be healing, my biggest concern, after his recovery, of course, was how to keep him from getting injured again. The local bully I’ve named “Mr. Grey” seems to have a single goal in mind: to get Max out of his way so he can move into his territory. This wasn’t the first time he’d left Max all bloody and battered, but it was the first time the wounds weren’t healing.

As it turns out, I needn’t have worried. When I first released him from his private hospital room (aka my guest room) still wearing the cone of shame, he wandered timidly around the house, finally settling on the love seat where he could spread himself across its entirety in regal comfort. From there, he watched the other cats perform their daily rituals from a safe distance.

As time went on, he ventured further afield, even sleeping on my bed for a couple of nights before returning to his haven. Then came the days when he’d wander around yowling, leaving me wondering if he was ready to return to the wild. But when I’d open a door, hoping against hope it wasn’t what he wanted, he’d either turn his back or run the other way.

Following Max’s Wise Example

Now that we’ve ascertained he’s decided against returning to the world of a barn cat, he’s solidifying his decision by investigating all the warm, soft, comfy spots in my house. His return to my bed at night led to showing a preference for my body pillow, especially when covered with a fleece blanket. Small wonder he now cranks his warm, deep, lovely purr up to full volume every time I come near him, and leans into every pet as if the touch of my hand is pure ecstasy.

What I’m leading up to in my usual, long-winded way is, I’m setting an intention to be more like Max; finding pleasure in the simple things like a soft pillow, a warm blanket, and simple, uncomplicated love, and most of all, adapting when his world went completely sideways. My warm, wonderful, adoring ginger has made me see what I’ve been missing in his own, unique way; it’s not about having a horde of adoring fans (not that I aspired to anyway), or a posse I called upon every week to entertain, amuse, and support me. Instead, it’s about finding my own comfort; my own safe spot; my own self-love, and allowing the rest of the world to go on around me, interacting when, and if it felt right on both sides.

Comfort in Being Alone

Despite my moments of blindness, I’ve never been alone. There have always been a couple of people who touch base, even if it’s just a text to let me know they’re there when I need them, and I’m never physically alone because my cats are always in attendance. No matter which room I’m in, or what I might be doing, there are at least a couple of them hanging out, or checking in; climbing into my lap, or shoving their noses into my hand for a pet.

Some might see this as a sad, lonely existence, but the truth is, I have never needed or wanted a lot of people in my life. Too many people means too many expectations, and too little opportunity to be my own, quirky, complicated self. It means I fall into the trap of trying to fit in where I don’t belong in the first place beyond the surface level of shared experiences, and common location. It means I forget it’s OK to be alone in a crowd some of the time.

2025 will be my year of learning to find comfort in being alone; in having a minimal social life at times; in spreading my wings and trying new things; in letting my world change as much as it needs to, and adapting to those changes joyfully; and most of all, in re-discovering the passion I’ve lost lately for simply moving wherever the music takes me.

Grateful for Examples, Wherever They Come From

My gratitudes today are:

1. I’m grateful for Max who not only stopped me from worrying by becoming comfortable as an indoor cat, but is showing me the simpler things in life.
2. I’m grateful for the friends who have been there for me all along.
3. I’m grateful for being able to give myself time to find the happy place I lost last year.
4. I’m grateful for returning to simplicity in a life which became too complicated for my taste.
5. I’m grateful for being OK with being a loner when the crowd I’m in isn’t a good fit.

About the Author

Sheri Conaway is a Holistic Ghostwriter, and an advocate for cats and mental health. Sheri believes in the Laws of Attraction, but only if you are a participant rather than just an observer. Her mission is to Make Vulnerable Beautiful and help entrepreneurs touch the souls of their readers and clients so they can increase their impact and their income.

Navigating this Imperfect Life

Adapting to an Imperfect Life

Life isn’t perfect. In fact, it’s not even close. If it was, what would you have to strive for? What would be the purpose of hopes? Dreams? Goals? You need to have a reason to get up in the morning, even if for the moment, all you can do is maintain the status quo, and wait for conditions to improve. Even then, there’s always something you can do to improve yourself.

At times, your only choice is mindset, but as that drives everything else, it’s a great place to start, even when there are other things you can improve or change on the table. I’ve learned the best way to begin improving your mindset is with self-care.

Self-care is different for everyone so you have to figure out what works for you, but before you panic, it’s not hard to determine. What makes you feel good? Where are you happiest? When are you focusing on what’s right in front of you instead of doing the multi-tasker tango?

Variety is the Spice of Life

Another thing to keep in mind is it doesn’t have to be the same thing every day. Aside from my daily meditation, I have a number of things which take me out of my head and into the present moment where worry and regret are smothered, or otherwise displaced. Here’s a small sampling:

• Writing
• Reading
• Walking
• Working in the yard
• Cooking batch meals
• Sitting on the couch with a cat or two in my lap
• Hallmark and Lifetime movies (the sappy, boiler-plate romance ones)
• Dancing
• Strength training

Many of my friends have their own ideas, and things that relax them. For example:

• Fostering kittens
• Sewing
• Quilting
• Gardening (planting and nurturing rather than my preference for hacking away at things)
• Going to the beach
• Knitting

As you can see, the possibilities are endless. The only thing that matters is it’s something you do for your own health, enjoyment, and well-being. Though what I’ve listed here is predominantly solo acts, your happy place might involve doing something with others. Only you know what takes your stress and worry away best.

Setting Boundaries for “Me Time”

When gyms were open, and relatively safe from the spread of COVID, I was there 3 days a week without fail. I’d walk through the door, move to my first station of the day, gather my equipment if it wasn’t a pre-weighted machine, put my ear buds in my ears, turn on Pandora, and detach from the rest of the world. I called it my “me time”, and rarely interacted with others during the hour and a half or so I’d be there.

For now, I’ve given up my strength training, except the occasional visit with the minimal weights I have at home, but use that same hour and a half, coincidentally on the same days, to take a ballet class on Zoom. Essentially, I’m still in my own private place, though I’m following instructions from another person, but it’s in the comfort of my own home with no one else around. Mentally, I get the same benefits, though physically, I’d have to say what I’ve gained from 10 months of ballet is far greater than my self-directed weight workouts in part because I have someone else pushing me past my comfort zone.

The point I’m trying to make is I adapted to changing circumstances, and to what some might see as an imperfection. In this case, I replaced one thing with something I’m actually finding to be better for me—for now. Will that still be the case when everyone’s had their vaccines, and the risk of infection is mitigated? I’m afraid my crystal ball is on the fritz, so questions about the future are unanswerable.

Aspiring to a Life Devoid of Worry and Regret

Besides, the whole purpose of this exercise is to avoid worry or regret. Looking at what might happen in the future, trying to decide what I will or won’t do under any, or all possible circumstances is an exercise in futility and frustration, and defeats the purpose of stepping away from them in the first place.

I know what works for me now. I know when one activity isn’t available, I have plenty of other choices. I also know as time goes on, I might very well explore other options. What matters is the here and now. The rest will take care of itself when its time comes. If and when I have to make new choices, I’ll do it. Heck!  A year ago, working in the yard wouldn’t have made my list. Times change and so do I. You do too, even if you’re fighting a losing battle with change at the moment.

Ultimately, you have two choices. Drive yourself crazy, or adapt. Keep in mind, though, that fighting change is not only an exercise in futility, but guaranteed to make you more stressed and frustrated. Change is inevitable, and those who choose to adapt are not only stronger and healthier, but happier too. They live a more fulfilling and successful life, no matter how they define success.

Fighting Change is a Losing Proposition

Right now, a lot of people are either hanging on for dear life, or ranting and raving about not wanting anything to change. I have news for you. Changes have already occurred, whether you like them or not. If you’re still dreaming of going back to the way things where, whatever you think that might be, you’re deluding yourself in the worst possible way.

The past is gone, and some of us can honestly say “good riddance”. Standing in the way of change; of progress will only get you run over eventually. If you’re not ready to embrace change, and create a new reality for yourself in light of changes that have already occurred, at least step aside so you don’t get crushed as life passes you by. You’re as likely to stop a moving train by standing in its path as you are preventing change from not only happening, but affecting you in some way.

As for me, I prefer to be a change maker rather than a change watcher. It doesn’t mean I know right now how I’m going to do that. My strength lies in setting the intention, then watching for signs it’s time to make my next move.

Grateful for My Love of Variety

My gratitudes today are:

1. I’m grateful for my nature that allows me to embrace change.
2. I’m grateful for my aversion to ruts and stagnation.
3. I’m grateful for the ability to watch, wait, and learn. Everything happens in right timing.
4. I’m grateful for change even when it’s something I don’t particularly like. I’ve learned those changes clear the way for a better place; a better world. Sometimes, change has to be cataclysmic in order to clear space for something better.
5. I’m grateful for abundance; love, vulnerability. friendship, support, change, opportunities, motivation, inspiration, creativity, joy, persistence, peace, harmony, health, balance, philanthropy, and prosperity.

Namaste

 

About the Author

Sheri Conaway is a Holistic Ghostwriter, and an advocate for cats and mental health. Sheri believes in the Laws of Attraction, but only if you are a participant rather than just an observer. Her mission is to Make Vulnerable Beautiful and help entrepreneurs touch the souls of their readers and clients so they can increase their impact and their income.

If you’d like to have her write for you, please visit her Hire Me page for more information. You can also find her on Facebook as Sheri Levenstein-Conaway Author

Adaptability: Going With the Flow

Adaptability Makes Change Flow Smoothly

Life changes. People come and people go. Friendships blossom. Some seem to bloom and grow while others wither and die; often inexplicably.

Perhaps we’re changing and fail to see it. Or maybe circumstances change. We move, or find a new interest, or find alternatives when a place or event becomes unavailable. Maybe it’s simply a life event; births, deaths, marriages, new jobs, big moves. We all experience them, like it or no. The only way to avoid change is to wall ourselves up in a cave and never come out. Even so, we’d change as we age, alone and cut off from the rest of the world.

Change is inevitable. We have two choices: adapt or fight it. Most of us, by the time we reach adulthood, have discovered the futility of fighting it. We’ve probably exhausted ourselves fruitlessly on more than one occasion trying to hold onto something which has served its time. But letting go and opening ourselves up to new possibilities is hard. It’s scary.

Like it or Not, We Must Move Out of Our Comfort Zone

Stepping out into the unknown; leaving our comfort zone; allowing ourselves to be immersed in new things can be, for some, a frightening and daunting experience. The smart ones (and also the successful ones) learn to not only adapt, but to embrace those moments when you feel like you’re free-falling. They thrive on the adrenaline rush of not knowing how or where they’ll land, or even if the landing will be safe, or leave them broken and bruised.

For those people, a life without change is as frightening as it is for people for whom change is something to be avoided at all costs. They can’t imagine a life full of mind-numbing sameness where everything is predictable and expected.

Most of us, I believe, fall somewhere in the middle of the spectrum. We sometimes struggle to leave our cozy, predictable existence to try something new; a restaurant, a vacation spot, a new group of people. Yet when we do take a leap and broaden our horizons, we’re usually pleasantly surprised at the outcome, and thus, encouraged to spread our wings even further.

Adapting Doesn’t Have to be Complicated

For me it’s been as simple as going to new places to dance, and to dance differently than I’m used to. My typical hangouts provide a mix of two-step, line dances, couples dances, and a smattering of West Coast Swing and Nightclub Two-Step. I’m comfortable with the mix, and if I don’t get to do the occasional WCS or NC2, I’m not terribly disappointed. Those dances are not what draws me to a club or lately, someone’s in-home studio.

But as my options narrow and I start hanging with a younger, more adventurous crowd, I find my willingness to leave my comfort zone (especially since I have people willing to go with me) increasing. In fact, I’m often the one to suggest someplace new.

To my utter and complete surprise, I looked back at the last few weeks and realized I’d spent far less evenings alone than was my wont. I’d ventured further out, stayed later, and picked up a couple new tricks along the way. Though I’m not ready to go to the newer places alone yet, I suspect even the minor resistance will soon disappear, and I’ll find my way to the new venues whether alone or with friends.

Adapting Happens When We’re Not Even Looking

In short, I’m adapting. Circumstances have changed. Options have, at least temporarily disappeared, and the amount of dancing I get in a single night has lessened. I’ve convinced myself more nights will bring me back up to my usual levels, and find it easier to win the argument when my brain tries going back into hermit mode.

Life does that. It gives and it takes away, forcing us to adjust to new circumstances whether we like it or not. Forcing us to grow into better, stronger versions of ourselves.

But there was a time I fought it, and fought it hard. I stayed tucked cozily inside myself, little realizing I’d locked myself in with some pretty voracious and unpleasant demons. They gnawed away at my guts, and I responded by becoming an angry, unpleasant human being. There came a point when I didn’t even like my own company.

Help Comes When We Need it Most

Even so, there were people who found me tolerable, and because they took the time to look beneath my crotchety surface, found something worth saving. Maybe they saw someone who reminded them of their former self. Maybe in our own broken way we created a support group, helping each other build the ladders out of our own pits of despair. Whatever the reasons, and however they found me, I’ll always be eternally grateful that the Universe saw fit to find people to help instead of giving up on me as a lost cause. I know I’d pretty much given up on myself by then.

So many people at one time or another find themselves in a place they neither want or know how to get out of. They convince themselves it’s the life they deserve and slog through each day with no real interest in anyone or anything. They spend their days at jobs they hate, and their nights in front of a computer or TV, disconnected from the world; disconnected from themselves.

Maybe life beat them down every time they stuck their nose out of their shell. Maybe they developed a misguided belief they didn’t deserve better. Or perhaps they simply feared what they didn’t know and couldn’t control. So they surround themselves with sameness, boring, destructive, stifling, and eventually, crumbling. Sameness can’t be maintained indefinitely so at some point it either falls apart, often devastatingly, or the person behind the self-made walls lives an illusion far-removed from reality.

Offering Gives Others a Choice, a Role in Their Own Lives

We can’t force others to adapt to change any more than others forced me. We can, however offer tools and support even if they’re rejected repeatedly. Like me, there will come a time when one of the tools resonates, and a willingness to at least try overcomes the fear of change.

The people who kept offering me tools in spite of my constant resistance are heroes in my eyes. They may not have changed the world, but they changed mine. We all have within us the ability to change a single person’s life for the better if we’re willing to accept their resistance and even rejection for awhile.

We can’t do it for the gratitude as that may never come. I know I never thanked the people who gave me my first leg up out of the darkness. We have to do it because it’s an integral part of our humanity. We’re not here to fix each other, only to fix ourselves; to be the best us we can be. But we can be there for those who are having trouble making the changes alone, and simply need a friendly face, a listening ear, a light in the darkness.

Will you be someone’s light?

Gratitude Isn’t Time-Sensitive

My gratitudes today are:

1. I am grateful for the people who saw something in me worth saving.
2. I am grateful for opportunities to pay it forward and offer someone else a tool they might need to escape their own darkness.
3. I am grateful for the lessons I’ve learned, the bruises I’ve earned, the successes and the failures. They’ve made me stronger, more resilient, and more willing to adapt when my world gets turned upside down.
4. I am grateful for friendship. They have changed over the years. Some have come, many have gone, but all have left me a better person.
5. I am grateful for abundance; love, caring, compassion, friendship, joy, dancing, community, opportunities, inspiration, motivation, peace, health, harmony, philanthropy, and prosperity.

And special thanks to Danae Thomas who offered me the first of many tools, and months of support to help me start climbing out of my own pit of despair.

Love and Light

 

About the Author

Sheri Conaway is a writer, blogger, ghostwriter, and advocate for cats. Sheri believes in the Laws , of Attraction, but only if you are a participant rather than just an observer. Her mission is to Make Vulnerable Beautiful and help entrepreneurs touch the souls of their readers and clients so they can increase their impact and their income. If you’d like to have her write for you, please visit her Hire Me page for more information. You can also find her on Facebook Sheri Levenstein-Conaway Author or in her new group, Putting Your Whole Heart Forward