Navigating this Imperfect Life

Adapting to an Imperfect Life

Life isn’t perfect. In fact, it’s not even close. If it was, what would you have to strive for? What would be the purpose of hopes? Dreams? Goals? You need to have a reason to get up in the morning, even if for the moment, all you can do is maintain the status quo, and wait for conditions to improve. Even then, there’s always something you can do to improve yourself.

At times, your only choice is mindset, but as that drives everything else, it’s a great place to start, even when there are other things you can improve or change on the table. I’ve learned the best way to begin improving your mindset is with self-care.

Self-care is different for everyone so you have to figure out what works for you, but before you panic, it’s not hard to determine. What makes you feel good? Where are you happiest? When are you focusing on what’s right in front of you instead of doing the multi-tasker tango?

Variety is the Spice of Life

Another thing to keep in mind is it doesn’t have to be the same thing every day. Aside from my daily meditation, I have a number of things which take me out of my head and into the present moment where worry and regret are smothered, or otherwise displaced. Here’s a small sampling:

• Writing
• Reading
• Walking
• Working in the yard
• Cooking batch meals
• Sitting on the couch with a cat or two in my lap
• Hallmark and Lifetime movies (the sappy, boiler-plate romance ones)
• Dancing
• Strength training

Many of my friends have their own ideas, and things that relax them. For example:

• Fostering kittens
• Sewing
• Quilting
• Gardening (planting and nurturing rather than my preference for hacking away at things)
• Going to the beach
• Knitting

As you can see, the possibilities are endless. The only thing that matters is it’s something you do for your own health, enjoyment, and well-being. Though what I’ve listed here is predominantly solo acts, your happy place might involve doing something with others. Only you know what takes your stress and worry away best.

Setting Boundaries for “Me Time”

When gyms were open, and relatively safe from the spread of COVID, I was there 3 days a week without fail. I’d walk through the door, move to my first station of the day, gather my equipment if it wasn’t a pre-weighted machine, put my ear buds in my ears, turn on Pandora, and detach from the rest of the world. I called it my “me time”, and rarely interacted with others during the hour and a half or so I’d be there.

For now, I’ve given up my strength training, except the occasional visit with the minimal weights I have at home, but use that same hour and a half, coincidentally on the same days, to take a ballet class on Zoom. Essentially, I’m still in my own private place, though I’m following instructions from another person, but it’s in the comfort of my own home with no one else around. Mentally, I get the same benefits, though physically, I’d have to say what I’ve gained from 10 months of ballet is far greater than my self-directed weight workouts in part because I have someone else pushing me past my comfort zone.

The point I’m trying to make is I adapted to changing circumstances, and to what some might see as an imperfection. In this case, I replaced one thing with something I’m actually finding to be better for me—for now. Will that still be the case when everyone’s had their vaccines, and the risk of infection is mitigated? I’m afraid my crystal ball is on the fritz, so questions about the future are unanswerable.

Aspiring to a Life Devoid of Worry and Regret

Besides, the whole purpose of this exercise is to avoid worry or regret. Looking at what might happen in the future, trying to decide what I will or won’t do under any, or all possible circumstances is an exercise in futility and frustration, and defeats the purpose of stepping away from them in the first place.

I know what works for me now. I know when one activity isn’t available, I have plenty of other choices. I also know as time goes on, I might very well explore other options. What matters is the here and now. The rest will take care of itself when its time comes. If and when I have to make new choices, I’ll do it. Heck!  A year ago, working in the yard wouldn’t have made my list. Times change and so do I. You do too, even if you’re fighting a losing battle with change at the moment.

Ultimately, you have two choices. Drive yourself crazy, or adapt. Keep in mind, though, that fighting change is not only an exercise in futility, but guaranteed to make you more stressed and frustrated. Change is inevitable, and those who choose to adapt are not only stronger and healthier, but happier too. They live a more fulfilling and successful life, no matter how they define success.

Fighting Change is a Losing Proposition

Right now, a lot of people are either hanging on for dear life, or ranting and raving about not wanting anything to change. I have news for you. Changes have already occurred, whether you like them or not. If you’re still dreaming of going back to the way things where, whatever you think that might be, you’re deluding yourself in the worst possible way.

The past is gone, and some of us can honestly say “good riddance”. Standing in the way of change; of progress will only get you run over eventually. If you’re not ready to embrace change, and create a new reality for yourself in light of changes that have already occurred, at least step aside so you don’t get crushed as life passes you by. You’re as likely to stop a moving train by standing in its path as you are preventing change from not only happening, but affecting you in some way.

As for me, I prefer to be a change maker rather than a change watcher. It doesn’t mean I know right now how I’m going to do that. My strength lies in setting the intention, then watching for signs it’s time to make my next move.

Grateful for My Love of Variety

My gratitudes today are:

1. I’m grateful for my nature that allows me to embrace change.
2. I’m grateful for my aversion to ruts and stagnation.
3. I’m grateful for the ability to watch, wait, and learn. Everything happens in right timing.
4. I’m grateful for change even when it’s something I don’t particularly like. I’ve learned those changes clear the way for a better place; a better world. Sometimes, change has to be cataclysmic in order to clear space for something better.
5. I’m grateful for abundance; love, vulnerability. friendship, support, change, opportunities, motivation, inspiration, creativity, joy, persistence, peace, harmony, health, balance, philanthropy, and prosperity.

Namaste

 

About the Author

Sheri Conaway is a Holistic Ghostwriter, and an advocate for cats and mental health. Sheri believes in the Laws of Attraction, but only if you are a participant rather than just an observer. Her mission is to Make Vulnerable Beautiful and help entrepreneurs touch the souls of their readers and clients so they can increase their impact and their income.

If you’d like to have her write for you, please visit her Hire Me page for more information. You can also find her on Facebook as Sheri Levenstein-Conaway Author

Sunshine, Lollipops, and Rainbows

Life is A Little Sunshine, A Little Rain

Everyone looks at the world from their own perspective. Some “through a glass darkly”, others through rose-colored glasses. In general, people use a bit of both, but for the most part tend to fall somewhere in between, depending a lot, not only on past experiences, but their own perception of those experiences. The result is a combination of storm clouds and rain, sunshine and rainbows, and days when the sun might barely break through the clouds to light the way.

Like anyone else, I got knocked around by life quite a bit. I could easily have decided I was unlucky, or didn’t deserve to succeed, or any number of unpleasant scenarios. Somehow, I developed the attitude that “when one door closes, another opens”. I saw the struggles and challenges as lessons, and decided for myself that while something might seem like a setback in the moment, eventually I’d see it was for the best. I’ve never been proven wrong.

I’ve seen plenty of people who share my perspective, and many who’ve even improved on it. The results are invariably reflected in their lives; their relationships, their financial state, and their ultimate happiness. Those who see a setback as merely another roadblock, and who moan and groan about their lot in life are typically dissatisfied with what they get, regardless of how others might perceive it.

Change Your Attitude, Change Your Life

I see the differences as a combination of attitude and Laws of Attraction. If you see your life’s soup as something bitter and unappealing, nothing that happens is ever going to give you happiness and satisfaction, no matter how much you believe you deserve it. Conversely, if you look at everything you experience as part of the plan; a stepping stone to your ultimate goal so to speak, you’ll not only find pleasure and satisfaction in the small things, but you’ll find those goals, and all the new dreams you create are coming true, step by step.

Lately, I’ve been frustrated by my lack of productivity when it comes to writing. At one point, I was down to a single week’s worth of pre-scheduled blog posts. I started to pressure myself which, of course, was the wrong thing to do. There’s nothing that stifles my creativity more than pressure and a hearty dose of brow-beating. I took a few steps back and identified the real problem, but also realized I’d simply directed my energy into other projects for a little while.

Once again, I’d slipped in my commitment to myself, at least as far as sticking to my writing schedule. That didn’t mean I was accomplishing nothing. In fact, I was accomplishing a great deal.

Gettin’ By With A Little Help From My Friends

Thanks to the generosity of friends, I had both the tools, and the help to get my overgrown yard in order. The advent of sheltering in place to slow the spread of COVID meant my friend with a lawnmower was unavailable until further notice, and the weeds were quick to take over my yard. My friends had an unused lawnmower, edger, and hedge trimmer they were happy to re-home since both they and their mother had since moved to condos which required no yard work.

I also got plenty of help with the mowing, and as an added bonus, something to replace the strength training I’d had to forego since gyms are a hotbed of germs I’m not anxious to encounter right now. I had no idea wielding a weed whacker or hedge trimmer could be so hard, or so rewarding. I learned getting out in the yard, away from TV and computer was good for both my body and soul.

After a hard couple of hours hacking down, or pulling up weeds, I was less inclined to sit at the computer and knock out a blog post or two. So when my daughter mentioned she had several books by one of our favorite authors on her Kindle account, I slid easily into days of binge reading after a long, dry spell when I couldn’t find anything to hold my attention.

Change is Good for Body and Soul

Because of my more-than-a-little rose-colored glasses perspective, I see these deviations and diversions as a good thing. They’ve made my body feel healthier, have gotten me outside in the fresh air, and allowed my mind to take a break from thinking to enjoy the moment.

Reading the work of others, especially a favorite author reminds me of my own love for putting words on the page. Even if for now, it’s mostly just my blogs, the practice is what makes what I do better. It really doesn’t matter what skill I’m trying to improve. The more I do it, the better I get. I’ve even started joining our line dance instructor’s ballet classes part of the time, hoping to limber up my creaky old knees. It may be my imagination, but I believe I’m already seeing some improvement.

Something else that keeps my perspective fresh is mixing things up. It’s too easy to get into a rut when doing the same thing day in, and day out. When it comes to writing, a rut is definitely where I don’t want to be. Perhaps that’s part of the reason I’ve gotten so behind (at least from my perspective). I felt stuck, and what I was writing, or thinking about writing not only felt dull to me, but was difficult to even create. If there’s one thing I’ve learned in the years since I’ve spent major parts of my day writing is if it doesn’t flow easily, I need to walk away and get something else done. Some writers may be able to force themselves to write. I need to encourage myself; sometimes gently.

Variety Unclogs the Brain Letting Creativity Flow

I’ve mentioned before that there are times I have no topic in mind. I’ll sit down at the computer, and start typing until something comes to me. I refer to this as my “brain dump” method. There are times, though, when my brain refuses to dump. Working in the yard, or making a pot of soup, or turning my creativity to something entirely different is often the plunger that unclogs my brain. I’m still learning to apply the cure before the clog gets too settled and determined to establish a permanent residence.

The changes I’ve had to make while staying at home have brought a few challenges with them. not the least of which is how to stay physically active and limber. They’ve also created opportunities to come up with new solutions, and take advantage of what’s been there for me the whole time (like a huge yard that’s perfect for growing fruits, vegetables, and herbs, or maybe even raising chickens).

The funny thing about perspective is you can change it any time you want. Sometimes it takes a new goal, and others, perhaps a pandemic. I do know it’s not about how much you accomplish when the world crashes down around, but how much you adapt.

Finding Gratitude in Unexpected Places

My gratitudes today are:

1. I’m grateful for the things that kick me out of my self-imposed ruts.
2. I’m grateful for the ability to maintain a positive outlook most of the time.
3. I’m grateful for new habits that have, at least temporarily replaced some of the old ones.
4. I’m grateful for the things I’m learning about myself which, a few months ago I might have denied vehemently.
5. I’m grateful for abundance; self-commitment, opportunities, motivation, inspiration, friendship, joy, fresh air, community, love, health, harmony, peace, philanthropy, and prosperity.

Love and Light

 

About the Author

Sheri Conaway is a Holistic Ghostwriter, and an advocate for cats and mental health. Sheri believes in the Laws of Attraction, but only if you are a participant rather than just an observer. Her mission is to Make Vulnerable Beautiful and help entrepreneurs touch the souls of their readers and clients so they can increase their impact and their income. If you’d like to have her write for you, please visit her Hire Me page for more information. You can also find her on Facebook Sheri Levenstein-Conaway Author or in her new group, Putting Your Whole Heart Forward

Finding Balance in Unique Places

A New Kind of Balance

It used to be when I thought of “balance” it meant making time for relaxation and socialization in between work, commuting, and taking care of house and home. When I started working for myself full-time, I revised my perspective many times, trying to ensure I was putting enough time into my business and not so much into what I consider sloth. (watching endless Hallmark movies, playing games on the computer, and parking on Social Media)

With the loss of my regular social schedule consisting of dancing two nights a week, and not much more, I’ve had to reorganize my schedule and my life. To my surprise, it’s meant spending a lot more time “peopling” than I used to, and finding different places to dance. It has, however, come at a price. Some weeks, I’ll dance 4 or 5 nights. I may keep up this schedule for a couple of weeks until my introverted self screams for solitude.

Invariably, I’ll swing in the opposite direction, dancing 1, maybe 2 nights, and planting myself in front of the TV for hours (which, by the way, plays hell on all of my joints and muscles which have grown accustomed to moving more, sitting less when I’m not at the computer working).

A Social Calendar Needs Variety

As I’m learning there are alternatives to dance nights and locations, so too am I learning there are alternatives to dancing as a social activity. My first reaction was Whoa! Really? I can get out and do things with people where it doesn’t involve dancing? How can that be?

After the initial shock wore off, I found doing other things with the friends I’ve made through dancing is not only a viable option, but a necessary one. Dancing had become my go-to social activity; my reason for leaving the house and getting out among people. It was a place I could tune into the people around me, or go into my own little bubble of dance meditation. I could switch places at will with few the wiser.

As difficult as it is to admit it, I’d fallen into a dance rut, and circumstances have begun to shake me out of it. Changing locations was a good place to start, but as with everything else that’s needed to change in my life, the Universe started throwing things in my path, almost daring me to accept new and different experiences in lieu of a dance night.

Laughter Clears My Clogged Pipes

Most recently, I accepted an invitation to go to a comedy show. The club happened to be at a local harbor village where I was able to indulge myself in a bowl of clam chowder from Andria’s. I got to walk around and spend some quality time with a friend, drip ice cream all over myself, and best of all, laugh my butt off for a couple of hours. Needless to say, I’ll be repeating the experience sooner rather than later.

I’m learning there’s a lot more to balance than I realized. It’s not only making sure I move more and sit less, or put more time and effort into my business, and less into Hallmark movies and computer games. It’s about mixing it up and doing different things for a change.

More Time to Listen

I already do a little bit with concerts in the park and Shakespeare in the summer. It’s clear I need to revisit some of the experience I’ve let fall by the wayside, and let friends introduce me to new ones too. I need to go places where I can spend time talking, but even more important, listening.

Here, too, I’m finding some much-needed balance. My friends are wonderful, unique people who have life experiences with which I’m unfamiliar. Allowing them to share broadens my own horizons, and gives me new topics to explore; new things to learn.

Listening to the comedians, I marveled at their knowledge of a broad range of topics; their ability to grab from a deep well of material to respond to input from the audience while continuing to entertain and amuse. I realized their craft, like mine depends on seeing the world from different points of view. I can’t do that if I’m living in a bubble of my own experiences. I certainly can’t do it if I limit my experiences to what’s grown as comfortable as a pair of jeans I’ve washed hundreds of times.

Balancing the Old With the New

Balance also means bringing back things I’ve allowed to fall by the wayside; things like my twice-weekly “Live with Sheri and Friends” on Facebook. Since the Borderline shooting, I’ve been hit or miss about doing the live videos even though I’m usually out and about, dressed up and looking a bit less like an artsy, fartsy, hobo on the same nights as before (and often a few more). When a dance friend asked me why I hadn’t done a video in awhile, I realized my videos, like my blogs, were actually touching people even if I got no feedback to confirm it. To my surprise, people actually looked forward to my online ramblings!

I’m discovering balance is actually a moving target, and trying to go back to what was balanced for me several months ago is actually throwing me off-balance; much like trying to force a round peg into a square hole. I’m not the woman I was 6 or 7 months ago. Why would I think doing and saying the same things would still be a good fit? No wonder my neck has been out of whack, and the herniated disc has flared back up!

Giving Attention to My Energy Body

Several friends have pointed out lately that our bodies are a reflection of where our energy is going, or not going. I know that on a conscious level, but lose sight of it way too often. How much pain do I need to experience from migraines or herniated discs before I get the message my body is sending? I need to re-set my idea of balance!

Right now, it means writing enough new blog posts so I’m once again 3 weeks ahead. It means finishing the first pass of an E book I’ll be using for an opt-in on my website. It means accepting invitations for non-dancing activities. And it means getting back on the re-write of my memoir.

All of this means keeping my calendar up-to-date, and setting deadlines for my projects. It means saying “yes” to new and different things more often, and even finding a few to schedule myself. Of course, it also means getting back into the routine of doing Facebook Lives at least twice a week. Who knows? As I get caught up on other things, and out more in the evenings, I may even add a third night down the road. Or I’ll give you a Live in my normal, bare-faced, messy bunned self for a little variety.

Balance means keeping my options open and not getting stuck in yet another rut.

Feeling a Little Unbalanced?

Are you struggling to keep all of your entrepreneurial balls in the air? Would you like to take a task or two off your plate? Maybe it’s content creation, or perhaps it’s getting your books in order and creating a budget. If this sounds familiar and you’re ready to streamline your life and give your business space to grow and thrive, CONTACT ME and let’s talk!

 

Grateful for Reminders and Opportunities

My gratitudes today are:

1. I’m grateful for friends who give me new opportunities.
2. I’m grateful I’ve become more open to suggestions and even criticism.
3. I’m grateful for laughter. It heals so much, especially when it’s shared with friends.
4. I’m grateful for the times the Universe drop kicks me out of another rut.
5. I’m grateful for abundance; joy and sorrow, laughter and tears, solitude and community, friends who lift me up and allow me to return the favor, sunshine and clouds, peace, harmony, health, philanthropy, and prosperity.

Love and Light

 

About the Author

Sheri Conaway is a writer, blogger, ghostwriter, and an advocate for cats, and mental health. Sheri believes in the Laws of Attraction, but only if you are a participant rather than just an observer. Her mission is to Make Vulnerable Beautiful and help entrepreneurs touch the souls of their readers and clients so they can increase their impact and their income. If you’d like to have her write for you, please visit her Hire Me page for more information. You can also find her on Facebook Sheri Levenstein-Conaway Author or in her new group, Putting Your Whole Heart Forward