Motivation is Yours for the Asking

Motivation Begins With Mindset

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Wanting to start the week out more motivated, I listened to a 30 minute video about a writing challenge. I’m not sure it’s for me, but why not give it a try? At first glance, it sounds like it’s going to be more about outlining, which isn’t my normal pattern, and often feels too inhibiting, but it’s all about opening my mind to new ideas; new techniques. If nothing else, it might help me break through the latest set of barriers to completion of my novels and memoir.

I tend to let my stories and characters develop on their own. I know some authors like Jacqueline Carey, who writes the Kushiel novels keeps her characters on a very tight rein. I admire her ability to do that, as mine simply do not want, or need to stay in the tight confines of my imagination.

Meanwhile, I have new kitties who are even more demanding than Pye, Mulan, and Scrappy, at least at the moment. Perhaps they’ll settle a bit once they’ve gotten used to my routine, but we’ll see. Lazarus loves jumping in my lap, but won’t stay there for long periods of time, which suits both of us. Ishtar likes to get in everyone’s face, then go off and sleep for awhile before resuming her demands.

Training the Untrainable

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In a way, I think my motivation and imagination are like cats; willful, demanding, and untrainable. I’ve learned over time the best thing to do is invite everyone to play, then stand back and let them figure out the rules and the roles. When I’m at my pantser best, the words flow on the page like a thaw-swollen river. I navigate the rocks in my mental waterway the same way I traverse any other part of the river bed, carving new paths out of the banks without slowing, or disturbing the raging waters.

It isn’t that I don’t know how to outline a story. I used the technique often enough during high school and college to write essays and papers. As they’re all long gone now, I have no way of knowing if the writing flowed, or was as constricted as the outline; staying on point without embellishment or color. At the time, I didn’t have to worry about color, or even about entertaining the reader. It was merely a matter of imparting knowledge I’d gained, covering and supporting all pertinent points, and reaching a conclusion.

Perhaps that technique would get my memoir finished though. There are a lot of facts ensconced in memories and recollections. Getting them into some kind of organized schedule might help me put the chapters back together in an order that won’t make the reader dizzy with random topic changes.

Writing vs. Speaking

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Early on, I was told to write the way I speak. The trouble is, ADD brain speaks all over the place. Though the individual chunks might be cohesive, the overall picture is more of an impressionist painting than a landscape. I might unconsciously choose friends who can follow my non-linear train of thought, but expecting everyone who buys my books, or reads my blog to do the same is short-sighted at best.

Perhaps an outline might limit the number of times I go through 70- to 110,000 words, rewriting, re-organizing, and revising. Heaven knows, I’ve rewritten “Sasha’s Journey” a few times already, and “Rebuilding After Suicide” more than that. I’ve yet to finish “Hannah’s Chair”, and “A Dubious Gift” is a completed draft, but little else.

Meanwhile, my mind teems with new ideas, but I can’t seem to allow myself to pursue them until the albatross around my neck, “Rebuilding After Suicide”, is through the latest rewrite, and ready for the next step on the long road to publication. Yet, in some ways, I’m stuck in a rut that says I should finish it first, partly in my own head, and partly because so many people have told me it’s a story that needs to be shared.

The Dreaded Shoulds

I suspect the key ingredient to forward progress right now is giving myself permission to let go of the shoulds, and work on what truly inspires me, brings me joy, and makes me want to put my fingers to the keys with no other motivation than the bliss of seeing a story unfold beneath my fingers.

By the time this post publishes, I’ll have completed the afore-mentioned 5-day writing challenge, but a different sort from those I’ve done before. I may have even taken the plunge, and signed up for coaching, if only to get myself into better habits.

The coach I’m considering brought up the subject of “decision fatigue”. I thought I hadn’t heard of it until she mentioned judges accepting and rejecting parole requests. It made me aware of the rabbit holes I go down each and every day, starting with looking at emails first thing, and flowing over a few boulders into the Social Media sink hole.

Revising Morning Habits

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Though I doubt I’ll get to the point where I don’t at least glance at my phone in the morning, I think I could once again rearrange my schedule so I write first, and check email and social media second, or maybe fifth. To be honest, there’s no clear cut reason to engage with the world the minute I have coffee and breakfast in front of me. I could put it off until after lunch quite easily.

Sure, it would mean posting my daily gratitudes and Facebook Live later in the day, which isn’t a bad thing. It would also allow some of those crazy dreams I have to hit the page before they drift off to find a more amenable recipient for the inspiration they impart. Heaven knows, I wake often enough thinking a dream would make a good story, but it’s long gone by the time I sit down to write something other than emails and social media posts.

Lately, I’ve felt things shifting. My world as it is no longer excites or inspires me, yet the rut I’m in has taken on the consistency of quicksand. Now, I see someone extending a board for me to pull myself up on, and break free  from the mire. It’s becoming clearer in my mental vision; a lifeline out of the soul sucking sameness I’ve allowed  my life to become over the last few months.

Ruts Are Mental Sink Holes of Inaction

It begins to make sense why I’m sleeping more, and having a tougher time finding the motivation to do anything, from scrubbing floors or unpacking boxes, to writing every day for at least a half hour. The status of my blog queues sinks further into the sunset as I struggle to keep even 2 weeks ahead.

I know it’s not lack of inspiration, given the increasing insanity of my dreams. It’s not lack of understanding for the process. I know motivation will come if I put my fingers on the keys and type whatever words are flowing across the movie screen in my head at any given time. Even if what comes out is crap and drivel, I always go back in a few hours, or a day and edit what came out.

The question often comes up; “what would you do even if you didn’t get paid for it?” My answer is always the same: Write. I’ve been selling myself short for too long. It’s time to weed out all the excuses, subterfuges, and time sucks I’ve allowed to choke out my garden, and evict them once, and for all.

Gratitude Each and Every Day

My gratitudes today are:

1. I’m grateful for people who come into my life exactly when I need them.
2. I’m grateful for messages that keep beating on me until I wake up and heed them.
3. I’m grateful for people who help me release old paradigms, outdated beliefs, and things contributing to a poor self-image.
4. I’m grateful for another day to do what I love, alone, and with the people I love.
5. I’m grateful for abundance; inspiration, motivation, action, determination, help, support, dreams, goals, energy, health, harmony, peace, philanthropy, and prosperity.

Namaste

 

About the Author

Sheri Conaway is a Holistic Ghostwriter, and an advocate for cats and mental health. Sheri believes in the Laws of Attraction, but only if you are a participant rather than just an observer. Her mission is to Make Vulnerable Beautiful and help entrepreneurs touch the souls of their readers and clients so they can increase their impact and their income.

If you’d like to have her write for you, please visit her Hire Me page for more information. You can also find her on Facebook as Sheri Levenstein-Conaway Author