Making Sacrifices for Independence

Independence is Worth Any Sacrifice

My independence is both hard won, and essential for my health and well-being. I’ve gone through a lot, both to achieve and maintain it, and know unless I continue to push forward, it’s more easily lost than it was to win it in the first place. Even when my body is aching, and I’m more tired than usual, when it’s time to go out for my daily, 3-mile walk, I go, and other than maybe a mention or two about what’s hurting, I don’t allow myself to whine and complain. I know those daily walks, overall, help far more than they’ll ever hurt.

Today, tired from a couple of hours of foraging, and aching in all new places since I’ve been dealing with the pinched nerve in my neck, I got up, got out, and, although I might have moved slower than usual, managed to complete the 3-mile circuit just the same. I rewarded myself for meeting my goal by spending a few minutes stretching the cranky parts, only to find, despite their crankiness, they were more flexible than usual, and boy, did the stretching feel good! There are ice packs and SalonPas in their immediate future as well. Meanwhile, most of the aches and pains seem to have subsided.

There are 3 older women we see out walking most days (though I’d guess their ages are close to mine), but they not only confine their walk to the small circuit in the neighborhood park, but 2 of the 3 have to stop and rest part way through. Knowing I’m still managing 3 miles, and a much tougher circuit every day with no more than a bathroom break at the halfway point is a huge reminder to keep doing what I’m doing, even when it’s harder than usual. Inevitably, I feel better for the effort, and sleep more soundly too.

Small Steps Lead to Greater Goals

In the general scheme of things, walking ever day is a small part of how and why I’m still independent, but it’s essential to maintaining the ground I’ve gained. When in the past I’d sit around waiting for the pain to abate, at times, resorting to prescription pain killers, and growing more miserable and sedentary by the day, I finally learned movement is the solution, even if that movement is small at first.

When I began walking 3 days after my surgery, I barely made it 1/4 of a mile, and was completely exhausted by the time I got back. My returning strength could be measured by the increases in distance as the days went by. It may have taken me 3 or 4 months to work my way up from 1/4 of a mile to 3 miles, but in the process, I also gained strength and endurance, as well as getting accustomed to asking for help. Believe it or not the last has had a bigger impact on maintaining my independence than the exercise, if only by a little.

I’m finally beginning to realize true independence means doing what I can alone, but being willing to ask for help sometimes to get over the last hill. Many’s the time I’ve asked for help this last year rather than continue to blunder along by myself, getting more and more frustrated by the minute until I gave up, or jury rigged something rather than getting it done right. Life has become simpler, and fuller for my willingness to admit I simply can’t do something by myself, or can do it better with help.

Asking for Help Along the Way

Like having company when I walk, having help to complete some tasks makes the work lighter, and the job go more quickly. I’m learning I don’t have all the answers, and often, another person knows a better way to accomplish the task at hand than I do…if I give them a chance to offer their suggestions. Whether it’s assembling chairs, stringing my ethernet cable from one end of the house to the other, dumping, cleaning and replacing sandboxes when my shoulder is hurting, or figuring out what part to order to fix something in the house, having someone who can contribute their own expertise has simplified my life in more ways than I can count.

The hardest thing for me to learn in my fierce determination to hold onto my independence as long as possible is that asking for help aids my goal. It does NOT, as I once believed, make me weaker or more dependent. Instead, it means I’m able to do more, do better, and keep my already abused body from deteriorating more rapidly than it needs to.

Am I really sacrificing for my independence by asking for help? By moving more? By pushing through the pain…within reason? I think the fact that I am continuing to move and move well, added to the evidence I’m getting things done faster and better with help speak for themselves. If anything, what I’m doing is giving my independence a longer lifetime than I could have if left to my own, clumsy devices.

Grateful for Lessons Learned

My gratitudes today are:

1. I’m grateful for learning to ask for help, and for having people around who make it more likely I’ll maintain my independence for years…maybe decades to come.
2. I’m grateful for the strength and resilience I’ve gained simply by insisting my body move regularly, and extensively.
3. I’m grateful for learning I can, and will work through the aches, pains, and tiredness if I just get up off my butt and move.
4. I’m grateful for stretching. Sometimes, it really is a huge reward for insisting on moving no matter what.
5. I’m grateful for ice packs and SalonPas when stretching isn’t quite enough to relieve the body and muscle aches.

About the Author

Sheri Conaway is a Holistic Ghostwriter, and an advocate for cats and mental health. Sheri believes in the Laws of Attraction, but only if you are a participant rather than just an observer. Her mission is to Make Vulnerable Beautiful. In her spare time, she’s also an accountant with extensive experience in Government Contracting.