Slowly Shifting Gears

Taking a Pause

I had grand plans last week, after finding my schedule suddenly wide open. What I planned, and what I did looked decidedly different. I learned shifting gears as dramatically as I did required a lengthy cooling 0ff period. Instead of tackling the chores I’d neglected, I spent the week reading, playing computer games, watching TV, and best of all, snuggling with my cats. The cats, by the way, were big fans and have expressed an interest in having last week’s schedule continue indefinitely.

Unfortunately, reality sets in; the house needs cleaning, and weekly errands still have to happen. Between visits from the plumber, feeding and medicating my brood, and scheduling appointments for myself, life is once again picking up the pace, though at a slower one than I’ve followed for the last few months. I’m taking advantage of the time to do some heavy housework as I know it’s only a temporary respite, at best. While work duties will only take up to 34 hours a month between now and April 17, my personal books were neglected all last year.

Added to the chaos is a switch from Quickbooks desktop to Quickbooks online, as I’m unwilling to pay Intuit $1000 a year for a POS program that crashes every five minutes. I’ve lost a lot of functionality since I’m unwilling to spring for anything but their cheapest, most basic plan, but work-arounds are my specialty, so I’ll make it work until I find something else to migrate to.

Getting Chores Done

Though housework may not be my favorite task, the cats have me beat, hands down, in their dislike of the activity. The vacuum cleaner alone drives them berserk, and this time, Miss Mulan of the private quarters had to suffer it too. Needless to say, I’ll have a lot of comforting in my future to de-stress her from a few minutes of vacuuming in her abode even without Ishtar’s unwelcome visits every time I open the door. As for the others, they’ve learned the vacuum cleaner typically stays on the ground, so the bed, or the back of the couch are usually safe. I say “usually” because next on the list is moving the furniture, and vacuuming the tops and sides of the sofas and chairs. I may need an extra round of treats tonight.

Meanwhile, walking, circuit training, and weekly volunteer hours with the rescue cats continue, while dancing remains sporadic, at best. I haven’t been able to work up the desire, much less, the excitement I used to have about going to my formerly usual place for an evening of dancing and community. Sadly, once I realized the community was a figment of my imagination, the joy disappeared.

Though the likelihood of running out of chores isn’t good, I’d like to work in a couple days a week at the gym, at some point. I dislike having unused resources, especially when they’re paid for by someone else! And heaven knows, my body could always use more exercise! It’s not that I feel uncomfortable, nor that I can’t find anyone to sit with between dances. Instead, it’s a lack of motivation to clean myself up after my afternoon walk to go where I was never as important as I’d hoped in the first place. The joy of dancing is still there, and I’m finding it in different places, just not on a regular basis right now.

Nevertheless, while the relative quiet continues, so does my restlessness. I need to be doing something productive, but my options are on my least enjoyable list, for the most part. I do enjoy walking on non-crunchy floors, however, so maybe I can learn to find joy in cleaning at this late date in my life. Something tells me, my options will open up once I complete a few household chores, and maybe a project or two I’ve been putting off for too long.

Grateful for the Peace and Quiet

My gratitudes today are:

1. I’m grateful for being able to continue my independence, even if it includes doing my own housework. I have to remind myself what a blessing it is I can still vacuum, mop, and move furniture by myself.
2. I’m grateful for a short respite before my world goes back to its usual, crazy self.
3. I’m grateful for the consistencies in my life, even if some of the ones I believed in turned out to be facades.
4. I’m grateful for knowing when to cut cords. Not all benefits are worth having if the strings attached are skewed towards someone else.
5. I’m grateful for sticking to certain routines, even on days I’d rather lay around doing nothing.

About the Author

Sheri Conaway is a Holistic Ghostwriter, and an advocate for cats and mental health. Sheri believes in the Laws of Attraction, but only if you are a participant rather than just an observer. Her mission is to Make Vulnerable Beautiful. In her spare time, she’s also an accountant with extensive experience in Government Contracting.

Holiday Ho Hums

The Holidays are Here?

Here it is, the holidays again. My happy, happy, joy, joys have left the building. It’s not that I’m sad or depressed. I’m just bored of all the hoop-la…except for the decorations lighting up my neighborhood. I love those, and am going to miss them once Hallowthanksmas is behind us once again. It’s been a hoot taking my almost-daily 3-mile walks and checking out what the neighbors have added since the last time.

But despite snowmen, penguins, polar bears, Santas, Grinches, and more, I’ve failed to acquire even a touch of holiday spirit this year. The few gifts I bought for the grands were shipped weeks ago. I did have a lovely lunch with a friend with whom I exchanged gifts (eventually, I’ll get a picture of the beautiful water bottle she had made for me with an adorable picture of Scrappy Doo and Artemis).

It’s not really even about the gifts though. Work has been extra busy of late, both with end of the year activities, and a software implementation, so my focus isn’t even on it being a holiday other than the fact I’ll get a couple of days to work without interruption while the rest of the staff celebrates with family and friends. I have no real plans for the next couple of weeks other than work, volunteering, and my usual round of chores and errands.

Honoring Traditions

Granted, I’ll pull out my menorah and start lighting candles Christmas night, and I need to decide which establishment I’ll order my traditional Jewish Christmas Eve dinner from, to eat while watching more sappy movies. But there are times I actually do miss those crazy years…those trying to stretch a dollar while covering our gift list years when my kitchen was a frenzy of baking and gift boxes for a couple of weeks. I do not, however, miss the office Christmas parties; more a command performance than anything else, shared with people I had no commonalities with.

All in all, it’s kind of a mixed bag this year. There are things I miss from prior years, and those I’m glad I no longer revisit. I didn’t even party with my dance community this year, for reasons which I’ve belaboured in other posts, so won’t reiterate here. I love the friends I will be sending well-wishes too, and the kitties who snuggle with me whenever I’m not working, running errands, or doing chores.

Max has woven himself into the fabric of the inside community despite still needing to wear his cone until all potential areas for him to lick back open have healed up. Ishtar only hisses at him and his weird get-up occasionally now, but the boys have completely accepted him. It does leave Sable outside by herself, but she doesn’t go far, and can often be found right outside the kitchen door waiting for her share of attention, or a meal. Even the raccoons seem to have cut back on their nocturnal food runs.

Maybe it’s Too Quiet?

There’s an odd sort of feeling of anticipation, though heaven knows what might be on my horizon right now. Holiday high jinks are at an all-time low this year. Aside from the decorations and the holiday movies, they could almost pass without my notice. Without ballet or regular dance nights, I’ve settled into a kind of fugue state, punctuated by the usual things like food runs, volunteering, laundry day, and daily walks.

I suppose it’s the quiet life I worked for years to achieve, not knowing this is what it would look like. I’m not disappointed, nor am I overjoyed. Work and volunteering give me the sense of purpose I find I still need though; more since the only ones who truly need me at this point have pointy ears, and long tails. Even that’s OK.

Enjoying Being Not Needed

As I watch people I know dealing with family issues like aging parents, or helping raise grand kids, I’m selfishly grateful I have no such demands on my time. I come and go as I please with only a couple of things actually scheduled in during the week. Yet there’s a certain emptiness to my life; to my days; as well. Being needed is definitely a double-edged sword.

For now, I’ll be grateful for the time to read, write, watch movies, and snuggle with my cats; to take those walks with my friend; to work the schedule I want to instead of one dictated by another. I have Sundays to look forward to when I get to help socialize cats and kittens so they can find their perfect, forever home. At some point, I can add in a dance night or two, a ballet class or ten, and maybe even a date with myself. The beauty of this point in my life is the options are endless. I simply need to reach out and grab one.

An Attitude of Gratitude

My gratitudes today are:

1. I’m grateful for this quiet, if dull holiday season.
2. I’m grateful for my walking buddy who gets me out of the house when I need it most.
3. I’m grateful for my kitties who are happy, healthy, and snuggly.
4. I’m grateful for my friends who may be few, but they’re incredible.
5. I’m grateful for the traditions I still keep.

About the Author

 

Staying Alert When It’s Too Quiet

On High Alert

Yesterday might have started with a bang, but by the time I went walking, things had become dangerously quiet. I know better than to drop my guard when the Murphys go silent. While other people are hiding Easter eggs for their kids to find, Mr. and Mrs. Murphy are hiding a different kind of Easter egg for me to stumble on if I grow too complacent. These Easter eggs bear an eerie resemblance to grenades.

I might have gotten up early at the insistence of my cats, but it doesn’t mean I’ll be sleepwalking through the day. Instead, I’ll get a jump on things like my 1st of the month bill paying, and lining things up for Tuesday’s weekly reconciliation. I might even get some dusting done as the pictures on my walls have acquired a layer of dust on top of them thick enough to write an entire blog post. I’ll also be looking both ways before I cross…several times, and opening doors slowly lest there be something (or someone) waiting to dash in, or jump out and startle me.

While I appreciate the temporary calm, I’ve learned the hard way it often means I’m simply in the eye of the latest hurricane I lovingly call my life. It doesn’t help that things on the work front don’t rest on the weekends, in part because it’s often a break from contract work to catch up on administrative tasks where I make my home, and have for the better part of the last 35 or so years. Even the people I work for have referred to the last couple of months, and the months to come as a hurricane, which, for the record, doesn’t exactly keep my stress level down, nor keep me from bouncing on the balls of my feet on high alert.

Herding Cats

It also doesn’t help that each new addition comes with it’s own, unique, complicated set of rules, or that getting all the information I need to comply with those rules often feels like herding cats. While I love my cats, trying to get them all in one place takes either extreme patience, or my personal favorite, bribery ( handful of treats strategically tossed goes a long way!). However, this herd of cats, while easier to work with overall, isn’t so easily gathered neatly together.

All of this is not to say I didn’t take advantage of yesterday’s temporary lull in the insanity. I got my Costco meatloaf and mashed potatoes baked and packaged in single-serving containers, and spent the rest of the day, after my daily 2.3 mile walk, relaxing with the cats. I do see having to lock Ishtar in a room in my future though. She doesn’t do well with me focusing on my work instead of her, and even now, is meowing pitifully, as if I didn’t just give her a few long, loving strokes. I’m not at her immediate beck and call, which is enough to distress her.

I’m also seriously considering writing tomorrow’s blog post tonight as I don’t see a single break in the schedule which would allow me to put fingers to keys and write anything remotely resembling coherent once my feet hit the floor in the morning. Ishy might even decide to cooperate, as she’s currently lying on my desk purring loudly with her ears twitching back and forth like radar dishes. Maybe she’ll swat the Murphys into next year instead of driving me crazy meowing her head off, and getting into mischief. One could only hope!

5 Gratitudes a Day Keeps the Stress Away

My gratitudes today are:

1. I’m grateful for a break in the storm, even though I know it’s more like the eye of the hurricane.
2. I’m grateful for Ishtar’s attempt to behave and be helpful, even if it only lasts for a few minutes at a time.
3. I’m grateful for the time to get ahead a little bit today.
4. I’m grateful for being woken early by the cats so I can get my day started. I have to admit, I get more done, and have more energy to do so when I don’t lay in bed too long.
5. I’m grateful for Max and Cinders finally spending a cold, rainy night inside the garage for the first time since Sable and Saki joined the family.

About the Author

Sheri Conaway is a Holistic Ghostwriter, and an advocate for cats and mental health. Sheri believes in the Laws of Attraction, but only if you are a participant rather than just an observer. Her mission is to Make Vulnerable Beautiful and help entrepreneurs touch the souls of their readers and clients so they can increase their impact and their income.