Lather, Rinse, Repeat

Repeat to Learn

Years ago, a client recounted a story she’d heard about a marketing campaign for a well known shampoo. In an attempt to sell more shampoo, the marketing team came up with the slogan “Lather, Rinse, Repeat” to convince people, essentially, to wash their hair twice every time they washed it, thus, using twice as much shampoo as they really needed to.

While repetition might be unnecessary when it comes to washing hair, it’s an essential part of our learning process. Most of the lessons we learn from early childhood on are mastered because we repeat them until they become part of our thought process. For some things, like learning the alphabet, songs, or other mnemonic devices have been developed to trigger our memories to engage and retain.

There was even a scene in, if memory serves, “Akita and the Bee” where music was used to help remember how to spell words. Musicians might recall memorizing “every good boy deserves fudge” and “face” or some variation when learning to read music. Essentially, it’s about finding the patterns.

Learn Your Own Way

When learning a new line dance, beginners are given every step, while intermediate and advanced dancers might be given patterns like “sailor step”, “weave”, “Dorothy/Wizard”, “Coaster step” and many more. Learning becomes easier when, instead of needing to learn each step, you simply have to remember an 8-count pattern. Thus, a 32-count dance becomes 4 patterns, and a 64-count becomes 8. Consider how much easier it is to memorize 4 pieces rather than 32!

Hopefully, part of the learning process you were taught from early childhood wasn’t just memorizing someone else’s patterns, but learning to find your own. Let’s face it. We don’t all learn the same way, so why would one person’s pattern recognition work for everyone. The mere fact some people think in pictures or patterns, others in mathematical equations, and not just the words we’re initially taught should give you pause. Add in the ones who, like me, are non-linear thinkers and you might begin to realize how someone else’s pattern recognition causes us frustration.

We don’t want or need the “lather, rinse, repeat” cycle which, in fact, clutters up our thinking process with what to us are extraneous steps. We know rinse follows lather without having to include it in our conscious process. In fact, in my experience, not only does what we learn evolve over time, but how we learn as well.

Finding Your Learning Fit

At first, we follow what we’re told, even when it’s a poor fit. That poor fit is what drives us to figure out what will work for our unique, non-cookie cutter brains. With limited experience, we might find something that works for now; a kind of coping mechanism for learning. As our knowledge and study skills become more sophisticated, we might find methods which take fuller advantage of our unique abilities, and derive methods which further simplify our own process.

We might also discover we need to employ different methods depending on what we’re trying to learn. But one thing rarely disappears, and that’s the need for repetition. It’s the repetition that puts it in our muscle memory so we no longer need to think through the steps in order to remember how something is done. Using the line dance example, after enough repetition, be it actually dancing the steps, or running through it in your head (one of my methods), as soon as the dance is called, or the music comes on, my body automatically responds. In fact, if I try to think through the steps once it’s committed to muscle memory, I’ll invariable mess myself up. Trusting the process and the results of that process are an integral part of solidifying what I’ve learned through repetition.

I’ve also learned (and this may only work for me) once I get to the point where I can walk through the dance in my head without hesitation, I’m more likely to be able to dance it…also without hesitation. As we all learn differently, this isn’t going to work for everyone. Some of us can read and follow a step sheet while others need to have someone teach us the steps while we get up and follow them. Having learned and forgotten hundreds of dances in my 30+ years of line dancing, I tend to pick things up more easily. As a result, I prefer things which are more challenging with less common patterns and unusual arrangements of the common ones. If I can learn a dance while sitting on a bar stool, I guarantee you I won’t be getting up to dance it very often…if at all.

Challenging or Simple: It’s Up to You

The point of my last sentence is to emphasize the fact that not only do we each learn things in our own way, but that some of us prefer simpler things, while others want to challenge our brains to remember, and successfully execute the ones we have to put extra effort into learning in the first place. It doesn’t mean you’re more or less intelligent. It simply means you learn in different sized chunks. Just because you prefer the smaller ones doesn’t mean we don’t reach the same point eventually.

So whether or not you need your instructions down to the level of “Lather, Rinse, Repeat”, jump right to the end, or somewhere in between, own your learning style, and allow it to evolve with the amount of information you’ve entered into that amazing database called your brain. The only thing I’d advise against is to think you’ve learned enough, and to stop learning.

Grateful for My Own Learning Style

My gratitudes today are:

1. I’m grateful for new and different opportunities to learn.
2. I’m grateful for learning my brain hates getting bogged down in extraneous details.
3. I’m grateful for continuing to evolve and grow my learning style.
4. I’m grateful for attracting other non-linear thinkers, many of whom share my propensity towards and ADD brain.
5. I’m grateful for writing inspiration, even when, like this post, I had to sit on it overnight in order to complete it.

About the Author

Sheri Conaway is a Holistic Ghostwriter, and an advocate for cats and mental health. Sheri believes in the Laws of Attraction, but only if you are a participant rather than just an observer. Her mission is to Make Vulnerable Beautiful. In her spare time, she’s also an accountant with extensive experience in Government Contracting.

Adapting to Live Outside the Box

A Box is Only Temporary Shelter

For decades, my social life was defined; in fact, began and ended with where I was dancing on a given night. It has undergone a series of upheavals since one, fateful night in 2018. The initial volcanic-like eruption which shattered the worlds of many was exacerbated by wild fires, the COVID shut down, and finally, a greedy landlord. Still, the community endured, dragging me willingly along for the ride.

Different people stood ready to lead the Borderline family to new dance venues, putting time, effort, and heart into ensuring we gathered as community to do what we all loved. Yet there were cracks in the foundation of the community, growing ever wider with each upheaval; each passing year without a permanent home.  For awhile I ignored them; closing my ears to dissenting comments from various members of the original community towards each other…until some of it began affecting me directly.

Isn’t that always the way though? I’m not proud of myself for realizing I didn’t pay attention when I felt like I was included somewhere, quick to defend those who were verbally maligned behind their backs. Only when it became personal did I start noticing the smiling faces were often masks which were beginning to wear thin and brittle from overuse. Doing so is embedded in our collective history, and sadly, repeats over and over still.

Grabbing Life’s Reins

Better late than never, I recognize the facade; the false god, even, I’ve been worshiping for too long, and realize we’re all just humans doing the best we can with what we have. For me, it’s time to stop following mindlessly, and start forging my own path again.

I understand the need for these periodic upheavals as I continue to learn, grow, and evolve. Some are more cataclysmic; more life-changing than others. So it seems to be with my latest evolution. The world which was the center of my social self is becoming less important and all-encompassing. I’m opening myself to a new, as yet undefined set of experiences.

It’s an oft-repeated pattern in my life whether it’s been a job, a relationship, or some other ill-fitting way of life I’ve settled into rather than subject myself to yet another birth canal of change, until something happens to force my hand, and kick me out of the womb, as it were. The current case is a little different, as I could have continued on, unsatisfied but settling. It was I who finally shouted “Enough!” and took steps to remove myself from a situation which was extremely one-sided, and did NOT favor me.

Relatability is Key to Healthy Relationships

Granted, I had the audacity to believe I deserved more than I was receiving, and worse, compared myself to others (a huge no-no in my book) as far as how I was being treated. Taking a dozen or so steps back helped me see I was expecting what others were incapable of giving in the first place, and in the second, had no point of reference for understanding the kind of person I am, even had they wanted to. At best, we’re a poor fit for each other. The only reason I have even an inkling of the people they are is because I have reference points from my past relationships to use as touchstones.

Those touchstones, however, are people I never truly understood, and learned early on I wasn’t meant to relate to. Why I didn’t see the flashing neon signs this time can only be explained by my need to continue healing old relationships which ended badly, and continue to affect my ability to relate to certain people.

Nevertheless, the fact remains, it’s time for me to mix things up; to move on to something new, different, and challenging in a positive manner. I’d become as comfy as a pig in mud, but unlike the pig, I was far from happy. Now, I get the chance to change that, even if it means upending my social life, perspective, and point of view in order to navigate the necessary changes.

New Possibilities Abound

Ordinarily, I’d say this isn’t the first time I’ve journeyed alone for awhile, but the interesting thing is, I’m less alone now than I was even a couple of weeks ago. It’s not that people have suddenly appeared, but more that I’ve opened my eyes to some who’ve been there patiently waiting for me to get my head out of my tush. They noticed I’d been going through the motions for awhile, but needed to get miserable enough with it to finally cut a few cords, and open my eyes to the new possibilities gathering at the edges of my comfort zone.

Even so, a very telling conversation initially had me believing another person, and ignoring my own perceptions. Fortunately, I’m a processor. I left the conversation feeling somewhat bruised and battered to come home and mull the whole thing over in my head. I learned from dissecting the conversation I was, once again, being played, and had been for a long time. Though it meant giving up, or at least re-directing some of the things I loved, I had to see the love was faltering, not because the activity had changed, but because I was, as the song goes, looking for love in all the wrong places. I knew the time had come to find my passion in other places, with different partners in crime.

Thus, I’ve begun a difficult and painful, but ultimately necessary process which will disengage me from a compartment in a box that’s been itching and chafing for too long. It may take a few tries to restructure my social life into something uplifting and character building, but out of the rubble I made when I shattered those walls, are some good, solid pieces upon which to erect my stronger, healthier, happier foundation.

Grateful for Eye Opening Experiences

My gratitudes today are:

1. I’m grateful for the upheavals which send my life in new, different directions, while sometimes leaving me quaking in my boots for a little while.
2. I’m grateful for the people who were there when I finally opened my eyes and saw things without blinders or tinted lenses.
3. I’m grateful for the ability to walk alone for a little while until I find the ones who take me as I am, and let me see their own perfectly imperfect selves.
4. I’m grateful for a continued flood of writing which has me spewing words on the page like there’s no tomorrow. May it continue without interruption this time.
5. I’m grateful for all the wonderful possibilities opening up in front of me since I stopped clutching what doesn’t fit to my breast like a lifeline.

About the Author

Sheri Conaway is a Holistic Ghostwriter, and an advocate for cats and mental health. Sheri believes in the Laws of Attraction, but only if you are a participant rather than just an observer. Her mission is to Make Vulnerable Beautiful and help entrepreneurs touch the souls of their readers and clients so they can increase their impact and their income.