Autumn Musings

Autumn’s Chill is Upon Us

The frost is definitely on the pumpkin as temperatures are finally dropping, and a cold wind is wafting over the landscape. I have to admit, it’s been odd at times, though. I’d started taking a long-sleeved shirt with me on our nightly walks because I’d walked through a place, more than once, where the temperature suddenly dropped at least 10 degrees, leaving my normal hot-blooded self chilled to the bone. Though I’d have to remove the shirt about halfway through the walk, I’ve now progressed to a sweatshirt which remains on the whole time. I’ve even started swapping out my shorts for capri length exercise pants to keep my knees warm! That alone would shock most people who know me.

Ordinarily, I’d expect warmer; even hotter temperatures to return sooner rather than later, but something tells me, despite what I’ve dubbed our bi-polar weather, Summer’s grip on our lives has finally been blasted away by a frosty wind, giving way to cooler days, and colder nights. When faced with the choice of a night shirt or actual pajamas with pants, I had to admit it was time for the pajamas now. I’ve even begun spreading out a fleece blanket before I go to sleep knowing I’m going to wake chilled at some point, and be glad for the added warmth.

The cats sensed it before I did (I know. Duh!) and have been taking turns sleeping on top of me, or snuggling quite close. The warm, purring bundle I’m finding on top of me lately is, as often as not Ishtar the Chonk rather than Artemis the Wee. Pyewacket is back to sleeping on my head, while Lazarus favors the body pillow. Scrappy Doo, my creature of habit, continues to sleep half hanging off the foot of the bed. If nothing else, we’re all warm and cozy!

Spring isn’t the Only Season of Change

Oddly enough, my normally hot-blooded self seems to be feeling the cold more deeply lately. My usual 3-mile walk is no longer enough to keep my body warm all by itself. These days, I barely break a sweat. My inner heat pump is slowing down in my old age! Like an old bear, shorter days, and colder weather are driving me to, if not full on hibernation, a more solitary existence even than usual.

Interestingly, Autumn is not without changes for me. The afore-mentioned isolation has numerous causes and effects right now, not the least of which are a self-imposed distancing from Social Media, and a lot of introspection. The former leaves me with a lot of extra time on my hands, while both leave me with a propensity to share some of the insights I uncover in my sadly neglected blog. It does make sense that my blog gets more attention when I’m experiencing some kind of emotional upheaval. Creativity, be it writing, making art, or song writing seems to thrive on emotional chaos.

Soul Searching Goes into Overdrive

While the Earth and all her inhabitants are hunkering down or hibernating for the coming Winter, I’m searching my soul and psyche for answers I may or may not find; peeling away more layers of compacted emotions in the process. Writing is a huge part of my process, so it stands to reason, there will be an upswing in blog posts for awhile, at least insofar as I’m willing to share what I unearth.

Even after 15 years (gad! has it been that long?) of sharing my innermost thoughts, feelings, and struggles semi-publicly, there are still places where I know the wounds are too raw, and must still be kept to myself while I sort through, and release the associated feelings. In some ways, I think it’s more for the sake of my readers, as some of those feelings are not so much released, as spewed onto the page in all their frustrated, ugly, toxic glory. I see no reason to expose anyone else to the process when I hit one of those pockets in my journey.

At any rate, if you, too, find yourself with a little extra time on your hands, and are looking for something to take you away from your own troubles for a minute, I’m here for you for the foreseeable, Social Media-less future.

Fueling the Fire Within With Gratitude

My gratitudes today are:

1. I’m grateful for the outlet I created (with a little help from my daughter) for the often messy healing process upon which I embarked 15 years ago.
2. I’m grateful for the choice I made (once again) to eschew Social Media for awhile, even if, this time, it’s coupled with a physical social distancing as well.
3. I’m grateful for continuing to peel away the layers even when I’m left a seeping, oozing, ugly mess for a little while afterwards.
4. I’m grateful for the small group of friends who understand my process, and check in now and then when they recognize the signs of another isolation period.
5. I’m grateful for learning there are more I need to distance myself from these days, and less I can safely allow to move closer. There are times in life when your healing journey requires a culling of humans.

About the Author

Sheri Conaway is a Holistic Ghostwriter, and an advocate for cats and mental health. Sheri believes in the Laws of Attraction, but only if you are a participant rather than just an observer. Her mission is to Make Vulnerable Beautiful and help entrepreneurs touch the souls of their readers and clients so they can increase their impact and their income.

Emerging From the COVID Cocoon

Leave the Cocoon at Your Own Pace

Photo – Julie Raccuglia via Flikr

For the last 15 months or so, the world has been in a cocoon of sorts as everyone tries, in their own way to remain healthy and out of the wake of a virulent virus. Some have completely retreated from the world, while others have acted like it’s all a hoax. Most though have found some kind of middle ground.

My own choices have left me fairly isolated; exercising in my living room, shopping less frequently, and when I did go out, sanitizing the heck out of everything I brought back with me. Whether because of my precautions, or my own immunities, I’ve managed to stay physically healthy for the most part, for which I’m incredibly grateful. Though no one close to me contracted the virus, there have been a few in my world in general who have succumbed in varying degrees; a couple completely.

Scientists worked around the clock to develop vaccines which could at least minimize the risk of an infection being fatal, and many have availed themselves of those vaccines. Others are either exercising their freedom of choice, or continuing to insist it’s all imaginary, or a hoax. The choice is theirs, and I hope their immunities stand them in good stead, not only so they stay healthy, but so the numbers continue to drop.

A Time to Emerge and Fly Free Again

Like most people, I’ve tired of living in a cocoon. I’ve grown weary of my own company; my own 4 walls…even my expansive yard. I long to be back out in the world, dancing with friends, enjoying dinner and movie dates, shopping whenever I want instead of pre-planning everything. I’ve learned too much time alone can be more exhausting than any crowd situation this introvert might encounter.

I miss concerts, and Shakespeare in the park, dancing on a real dance floor with people to play off of, laughing together, and most of all, those big, warm hugs. I’m tempted to jump in with both feet, throwing caution to the wind. Yet I know I’ll proceed cautiously, often taking my cue from those I know are at greater risk than me. I’m grateful for everyone who’s given up so much to help end the pandemic. For graduations, funerals, weddings, and holidays postponed. For Zoom, Facetime, and other means of connecting virtually.

I wonder how we’ll make the transition back to a connected life, and what the new normal will be. Working virtually may be old hat for me and others like me, but many were forced into it for the sake of the many, whether they agreed or not. Too many businesses were unable to survive, and leaving many without jobs. Many which survived will continue to struggle until the world gets back up to speed. I suspect it’ll be a different revolution than the one we left behind a year ago last March.

Transition Differs From Person to Person

Photo – 7263255 via Flikr

Will people spin faster than ever to make up for the long hibernation, or will they plod slowly along, waiting to see where the new road leads? I suspect there will be many who, like a bear in the Spring come out rubbing their eyes, and placing their feet deliberately until they’re sure the ground beneath can bear their weight. Some will come charging out like children at the end of the school year, anxious to resume outdoor activities, pool parties, and less restrictive lives.

Perhaps the transition will be easier on those who remain unconvinced there was ever anything to worry about. They kept on with their lives, hiking, dancing outside until indoor facilities became available, getting together with groups of friends, and otherwise carrying on business as usual. They were less dependent on virtual activities so taking things back to in person, indoors won’t be much of a change despite the closure of many old, familiar places.

I could be envious of an easier re-entry. Instead, I’m grateful I followed my own conscience, and will continue to do so. I think that’s all you can expect of yourself or anyone else. No lifestyle, choice, or decision will ever be the same for everyone, nor should it be. If nothing else, it keeps everyone from trying to crowd into the same place at the same time. I continue to appreciate variety, and diversity. I don’t have to agree with everyone, or even appreciate the choices they make. I simply need to continue to respect those choices.

Emerging in Your Own Space and Time

At the moment, my only real concern is successfully emerging from my own cocoon, allowing my wings to dry sufficiently, and allowing myself to fly once again. There will always be a certain amount of risk, and it’s up to each person to determine the level they’re willing to take. I know the level I accept is higher than some, lower than others.

It’s neither a race, nor a comparison. I accept what’s comfortable, and a little uncomfortable for me. At times, I push further into the discomfort zone because I know it’s necessary to my evolution. I know I can’t impose my own beliefs or expectations on anyone else.

Step Forth Bravely

Photo – Philip Leara via Flikr

Everyone must choose for themselves, and act on those choices. If you ask me, it makes life a lot more interesting when some are ready and willing to literally jump out of airplanes, some figuratively leap off cliffs, and others stay safely on the ground.

At times you might get a push because you’ve stood in one place too long, and need a little boost to help you move. Maybe you even wanted something to shake you out of your safe, comfortable world a little. I know I have on many occasions, though until the shove, or kick in the butt came, I didn’t know it.

To all of you out there during these crazy times of re-entry, I wish you the space to make your choices, the encouragement to go where you, alone know you need to, and the extra push if you get stuck taking that first step forward. The success of each person is the success of everyone else. If nothing else, someone out there needs to see the path you’ve forged in order to forge their own.

Be brave. Be strong. Be confident even in the face of uncertainty and adversity. If you can keep moving, you can succeed at anything you desire.

Bolstering My Foundation With Gratitude

My gratitudes today are:

1. I’m grateful for opportunities to emerge from my 15-month cocoon.
2. I’m grateful for courage, even when the odds seem skewed against me.
3. I’m grateful for choices.
4. I’m grateful for diversity.
5. I’m grateful for abundance; strength, individuality, friendship, community, joy, change, challenges, lessons, opportunities, inspiration, motivation, dedication, peace, harmony, health, balance, philanthropy, and prosperity.

Namaste

 

About the Author

Sheri Conaway is a Holistic Ghostwriter, and an advocate for cats and mental health. Sheri believes in the Laws of Attraction, but only if you are a participant rather than just an observer. Her mission is to Make Vulnerable Beautiful and help entrepreneurs touch the souls of their readers and clients so they can increase their impact and their income.

If you’d like to have her write for you, please visit her Hire Me page for more information. You can also find her on Facebook as Sheri Levenstein-Conaway Author