Accepting Yourself When You’re Feeling Down

Accepting Myself, Warts and All

I’ve learned a lot about myself in the last few years, and even more in the last couple of months. I need to be around people some of the time. I also need to withdraw from them at times. The most important thing I’ve learned is it’s OK to act on what I’m feeling. It doesn’t mean I’m feeling unworthy (though there was a time it did), or I’m spiraling down into depression again. I know what that feels like, and have made myself a promise to not revisit that world.

The key lies in understanding and accepting yourself, and in recognizing you don’t float along at the same level all the time. In fact, your level changes throughout the day, depending on the usual things; hunger, the amount of rest you’ve gotten, other people’s moods, the weather, or whatever you’re finding to worry about. Of course, there are also the uplifting things that happen during the day, but most of all, the choices you make concerning how you want to feel.

The most important lesson I’ve learned is I can choose to be grumpy and moody all day, or I can choose to shake off whatever life sends me, and find my spark of joy. Granted, there are times it’s tougher than others to find that spark, and life does tend to challenge me to ride out some of it’s storms without getting dumped into the sea. Sometimes I succeed, and sometimes, I get wet.

Living in an Emotional Shit-Storm

The times I’ve taken my share of emotional dunkings are when I’m most likely to need to wander off by myself for awhile. That’s when I realize I’ve been impacted by the moods and struggles of the people around me; not just physically, but emotionally, energetically, and virtually. You might think emotions don’t come through in the virtual world, but trust me, they do. I can usually tell how someone is feeling by something as mundane as the words they type in a private message, text, or post.

Since I recognize the emotions in the words, it follows I also feel them, as I’m less inclined to shield when I’m communicating by typing. Slowly I’m learning that’s sometimes when it’s most important to shield as the emotions flow in from a different direction, and often in unexpected ways. It’s also why I tend to get overwhelmed more easily, and have to take a break from Social Media, texts, and even articles and blog posts.

Right now, the ‘net is full of emotional passion going in every direction imaginable. The trouble is, everything you read is skewed by the writer’s experiences, beliefs, and agenda. I think there are essentially three sides to every story you read; the far left, the far right, and the middle where the truth often lies, well concealed from prying eyes and any hope of finding a middle ground where there are no clear winners or losers.

Finding the Blessing in Disguise

It’s no wonder I’ve been overwhelmed, and I can see it affecting my cats who are acting out in their own ways. Like a mama bear, I draw the line when what’s affecting me starts affecting my “kids”. It’s turned out to be a blessing in disguise.

Though I haven’t done a lot physically lately, my productivity in other areas is through the roof. While detaching from all the places I might engage in human contact, I’ve written more, cleared out some boxes, made healthy salads, and finished administrative tasks that had been on hold for months.

Meanwhile, I continue to reach out in my own way with daily gratitudes and live videos. In a way, clearing my plate of some things, and remaining consistent with others is my own version of self-care. Keeping up with the more recently established habits ensures I continue to brush my teeth, take my supplements, wash my face, get dressed, and brush my hair every day. It might not seem like much, but those things help maintain a sense of normalcy when I’m not leaving the house more than once every couple of weeks.

Overwhelmed by an Abundance of “Me Time”

Another revelation is how easy it is to get overwhelmed from too much of my own company. It does sound counter-intuitive when I’m also feeling the need for a temporary retreat from people. The only way to counter that overwhelm is to spend time figuring things out without any outside interference. I may spend an hour meditating, or do a shorter guided meditation. It could be a couple of hours watching mindless TV.

Lately, it’s meant writing whatever comes into my head before the idea disappears, or reading something inspiring or uplifting. It also means stepping away from all the craziness, the fear, the arguments over who’s to blame, and most of all the frustration that’s racing through the populace faster than COVID. What’s in my own head might be all over the place, but it’s nothing compared to what’s coming out of other people’s fingers lately.

Your rant is not my rant

I’m learning I have to step back and say: I might agree with you completely, conceptually, but your rant is not my rant. In fact, I’d rather not rant at all, if you don’t mind.

Declining Invitations to Rant

Not everyone understands, or accepts a position of watchful neutrality. Some take it as more of an affront than outright disagreement. At least a dissenting opinion gives them someone to rant at, I suppose. I’m not looking for a fight. I’m looking for understanding. I’ve learned when something is emotionally charged; when people are spending a lot of time trying to convince some while ignoring others, there are elements of the story which no one is addressing; the elephant in the room, as it were.

As I step back and attend to my own needs and concerns, I’m endeavoring to have conversations with the elephant. I’m following breadcrumbs in my search for the elusive Truth. And I’m learning a few things about history I hadn’t been aware of before. One thing I don’t need to learn is it’s destined to repeat itself.

Like lessons in our own lives, when Humanity hasn’t learned from its mistakes, it’s given more opportunities to revisit its lessons. The more it resists the lesson, the more intense the lesson becomes. Right now, I’m envisioning an enormous celestial hand getting ready to knock the entire human race into outer space, like Babe Ruth hitting it out of the park for a home run. I’m not sure whether I want to buckle in and hang on for the ride, or see how far out of the park I can fly.

Focusing My Attention on Gratitude

My gratitudes today are:

1. I’m grateful I live alone so when I need to retreat, I can do it without anyone being the wiser, or trying to reel me back in.
2. I’m grateful for my cats who sometimes serve as a gauge for my own stress levels.
3. I’m grateful for the many habits and rituals I’ve developed to give me my own version of normalcy in a world gone mad.
4. I’m grateful for my writing as it’s keeping me well-occupied lately, and not allowing any thoughts, worries, or concerns to fester and grow toxic.
5. I’m grateful for abundance; love, sensibility, joy, friendship, balance, peace, harmony, health, opportunities, healthy habits, philanthropy, and prosperity.

Love and Light.

 

About the Author

Sheri Conaway is a Holistic Ghostwriter, and an advocate for cats and mental health. Sheri believes in the Laws of Attraction, but only if you are a participant rather than just an observer. Her mission is to Make Vulnerable Beautiful and help entrepreneurs touch the souls of their readers and clients so they can increase their impact and their income. If you’d like to have her write for you, please visit her Hire Me page for more information. You can also find her on Facebook Sheri Levenstein-Conaway Author or in her new group, Putting Your Whole Heart Forward