Set Intentions, Not Resolutions

One Intention is Worth a Thousand Resolutions

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Let’s face it. Resolutions are meant to be broken. Intentions are not. Perhaps it’s because resolutions come from the brain without any real, emotional attachment, while intentions come from the heart, and perhaps even the soul, where your passion lies waiting for something to ignite it.

To be honest, I haven’t bothered with New Year’s resolutions in decades because I never took them seriously enough to alter my behavior. When I did make them, it was the usual stuff: lose x pounds (before I learned using the word “lose” implied I’d want to find them later, which I did, and then some), get a better job, find Mr. Right…the usual meaningless twaddle. I never put my heart and soul behind any of it, so none of it manifested.

Now that I’m older, and hopefully a little wiser, I manifest a lot, but it isn’t because I make resolutions. It’s because I set intentions, and super-charge them by imagining my world when they’ve already manifested. I’ve also learned when manifestation is delayed, it’s usually because I’m getting in my own way with a counter-intention.

Getting Out of Your Own Way

For example, I was having a tough time getting my career as a freelancer moving at more than a snail’s pace. The clients I did attract were anything but my ideal clients. In fact, we fit about as well as a shoe that’s 5 sizes too big, leaving lots of room to shift, and chafe.

I realized my biggest problem lay in denying the skill set I’d spent over 30 years studying, learning, building and growing. I was so focused on making it as a writer, I lost sight of what already worked.

Somehow, I’d gotten it into my head I had to toss the accounting skills out the window in order to attract writing clients I’d love working with. Once I accepted, and even embraced the special niche I have in managing accounting for Government contractors, and small businesses, the road blocks slipped away almost magically. In their place came clients who either utilized my skills in Government contract, or small business accounting, or needed a writer with accounting knowledge.

Manifesting Smoothly, and Easily

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That doesn’t mean I don’t still write for people who help others like coaches, therapists, authors, and more. It simply means I’ve stopped self-sabotaging by blocking out the ones who want and need the accounting side of my brain too. The beauty of it all is I can work on one or the other until I get stuck, frustrated, or finished with a task, then switch to the other side of my brain to work on something else. My ADD brain has never been happier, or more fulfilled.

The best part is, all the intentions I’ve been setting, and feeling frustrated over how slowly they were manifesting have now moved into a place where they flow easily and smoothly. All along, I knew that’s how it was supposed to work. I watched it happening for many of my fellow freelancers and entrepreneurs, but couldn’t engage the magic for myself until I identified the clog, and removed it.

Another aspect of manifesting your intentions is when and where you make them. Speaking them aloud, or silently is all well and fine, and it certainly works. But nothing gives an intention more power than writing it down long hand. Doing so engages the connection between your mind and heart, so they’re on the same page, so to speak. It may also show you where you’re getting in your own way, and blocking the flow.

Changing Your Intentions as You Learn and Grow

It’s important to understand your wants and desires can change as you go along. What you believe with all your heart you want today can, and will change as you learn more about what it is you think you want, what’s out there for the attracting, and what will still fulfill you as you learn and grow.

Some of it is as simple as maturity; your 15-year-old self couldn’t possibly know what would fulfill your 30-, 50- or 60-year-old self. Some of it has to do with an ever-changing world. The rest has to do with an ever-changing you. A career path that looked great in your 20s might lose its luster as the years go by. You might find something you love more than the path your originally chose, or discover aspects of your choice which smother rather than feed you.

What many don’t realize is you don’t have to choose a single path for your entire life. You’re allowed to change your mind. Just beware of shiny object syndrome. Do your homework before you leap, unless, like me, the original path is sucking your soul dry. I’ll be the first to admit there is a time and a place to take the leap, even if you don’t know how you’re going to stay aloft. Sometimes, you have to trust your own wings, which in many are driven by stubbornness, and tenacity.

Feel Free to Experiment

It’s no coincidence I was guided to write this post for New Year’s Eve Day. I want you to know you have choices. The biggest, and one of the most important as far as I’m concerned is whether to set intentions when your heart is full of joy and passion, or make resolutions based on a date on the calendar. Which do you think has a greater chance of success?

You have the choice of whether to stay the course no matter what, or allow yourself to test, evaluate, and tweak your intentions as new information becomes available (and it always does!).

Life is a science experiment. Sometimes, you get the results you want, and proceed accordingly. You can continue doing the same thing, even when you begin to lose enthusiasm or interest for the project like so many people do, or when you lose ground to others who are evolving with the industry. Or you can choose to look into other options, whether it’s expanding on your current knowledge, skills and talents, or taking them in an entirely new direction.

Choices and Risk Tolerance

Whether you realize it or not, staying stuck in something that no longer makes you feel excited is a choice. Granted, it may be the safe choice, which is why so many choose it. If you’re change-, or risk averse, it’s probably the right choice for you. In essence, you’ve chosen security over a life filled with joy and excitement.

As for me, I’m willing to take a few risks, and even fall flat on my face a hundred times if it means I get to live the life of my dreams, and best of all, keep the afore-mentioned ADD brain happy by giving it lots of variety, and a few puzzles to solve.

Grateful for Choices and Intentions

My gratitudes today are:

1. I’m grateful for learning I could set intentions.
2. I’m grateful for the ability to test, revise, tweak, and even change direction entirely.
3. I’m grateful for choices.
4. I’m grateful for the ability to visualize what I want to manifest.
5. I’m grateful for abundance; choices, opportunities, amazing clients, happiness, joy, fulfillment, options, diversity, love, peace, harmony, balance, health, philanthropy, and prosperity.

Namaste

 

About the Author

Sheri Conaway is a Holistic Ghostwriter, and an advocate for cats and mental health. Sheri believes in the Laws of Attraction, but only if you are a participant rather than just an observer. Her mission is to Make Vulnerable Beautiful and help entrepreneurs touch the souls of their readers and clients so they can increase their impact and their income.

If you’d like to have her write for you, please visit her Hire Me page for more information. You can also find her on Facebook Sheri Levenstein-Conaway Author.

Be sure to watch this space for news of the upcoming releases of ” Rebuilding After Suicide” and “Sasha’s Journey”.

Navigating the Boomerang Effect

Lessons Sent by Boomerang

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One of the most significant aspects of the healing process involves clearing out old, self-limiting beliefs. I’ve discovered it bears a strong resemblance, not so much to sweeping up debris, and depositing it in the trash can to be carried away each week, than to flinging a boomerang as hard as you can in the vain hope it won’t find its way back to you.

Both the spiral nature of your journey, combined with the Universe’s seemingly perverse need to make you revisit old lessons until you achieve mastery contribute to the boomerang effect. Though you may navigate the latest challenge successfully in your own mind, the Universe sets a higher standard. You’re allowed to step back, admire your handiwork, and relax for a little while after meeting the latest challenge, but rest assured, it will come back to haunt you at some as yet undefined later date.

Although you can never be fully prepared for what the Universe metes out to you as part of your lesson plan, you can be forewarned it’ll include a repeat of some of the lessons you believe you’ve seen through to the end. If nothing else, forewarned is forearmed. You’re in a better position to get through the next lesson if it doesn’t completely blindside you, or worse, occur as a sneak attack, with the boomerang already out of reach by the time you can react, and position yourself for minimum damage.

Painful Lessons Stick

Photo – Ky via Flikr

That’s not to say there won’t still be pain involved. After all, the lessons you remember best are the ones that make an impression. Pain seems to be the most memorable of those impressions. You’ll honor your human nature, doing your best to avoid repeating a painful lesson. The “easy A’s”, so to speak, will likely come back stronger and meaner in the future, having lulled you into a false sense of security.

You might think I’m predicting a life of long, hard, painful lessons, but that’s not the case. Many learning experiences will pass almost unnoticed; made easier by everything you’ve learned so far. Though minor boomerangs themselves, they’re more likely to pass by, leaving you with an impression of a tiny gust of wind rather than a resounding whack to the back of your head. It’s the harder, more painful lessons you master which allow for those which are but a spectre’s whisper.

Learning to thrust, parry, and even duck when necessary are skills acquired throughout your lifetime as you learn to assume a stance not unlike a tennis player awaiting their opponent’s serve. You align yourself to be ready for anything entering your life with malicious intent, ready to knock you sideways if you lower your guard, and become unwary.

Resilience Born of Experience

If nothing else, you learn to avoid the worst beatings, and to tuck and roll when necessary so you land on your feet quickly before the next lightening strike explodes the ground beneath your feet; in most cases mentally or emotionally rather than physically. Lessons which blew your doors off once upon a time have left you stronger, smarter, more agile, and more resilient.

What you face now may be much stronger, and more intense than earlier lessons and experiences, but you’ve learned to dodge the boomerang successfully more often than not. Life no longer surprises you as easily. Things that would have had you down for the count once, are little more than a pesky fly you swat with a rolled up newspaper now.

Though there may be lessons which tempt you to give up, assume the fetal position, and pull the blankets over your head, years of overcoming obstacles and challenges have taught you, if nothing else, you’re stronger than you think. Best of all, the challenges pass. Sometimes, you simply learn what you need to, and pass through the latest storm. Others, you kick the latest demon to the curb, sending it scurrying back to its lair, tail between its legs.

A Time to Engage, and a Time to Step Back and Assess

Either way, you add another win to your list of accomplishments; another skill to your virtual rucksack. Each win increases your confidence and determination to return the next ace serve with all the strength and finesse you’ve acquired through overcoming previous challenges, and dodging the boomerangs.

When you do hit a time when life seems overwhelming; when you feel you’ve used up your last ounce of strength, you have the experience and resources to know whether it’s time to step back, recharge, and regroup, or charge forward with guns blazing. You’ve learned you don’t need to engage in every battle, and know there are some sent to drain your energy with no recognizable reward or worthwhile lesson.

There’s no shame in refusing to engage. You have every right to decline some of the battles that come your way so you have the energy to face the ones which give you no choice. Some of those come out of left field, and hit you without warning. You might even feel unprepared to defend yourself or your current position. Remember it’s OK to step back, regroup, and assess the situation before throwing yourself into the fray.

Shifting to a More Logical Mindset

One of the most important lessons you learn when you’ve gotten the hang of dodging most of the boomerangs is the ability to step back and assess a situation before you dive in, driven only by emotions. You learn an emotional sally is the least effective means for overcoming obstacles, though typically, it’s your initial response to the latest in a long stream of lessons.

The ability to throttle back emotions, and engage your logical, analytical side is often the point of a lesson in the first place. Can you disengage, step back, and come back with the proper weapons or tools? Or are you still more likely to let anger, fear, or another emotion drive your train, overlooking the broken trestle a mile up the tracks until you drive yourself into a bottomless chasm?

Experience teaches you what works and what doesn’t. That’s not to say you’ll get it right every time, but you will eventually learn when to go with your gut, and when to engage your brain. You’ll avoid a lot of pain simply by recognizing battles that aren’t yours to wage. Most of all, you’ll recognize which emotions, and challenges are yours, and for which you’re meant to be an innocent, but supportive bystander.

The boomerang, when used correctly can be an innocent toy, a weapon for hunting, or a challenge to be quicker on your feet. You don’t always get to decide when it comes, or where it comes from. You do get to decide how you’re going to respond.

Grateful for Life’s Boomerangs

My gratitudes today are:

1. I’m grateful for the lessons I’ve learned by learning to dodge an incoming boomerang.
2. I’m grateful for the community I’ve built by learning I’ve never been in this alone.
3. I’m grateful for the tools, skills, and knowledge I’ve acquired through both adverse, and friendly conditions.
4. I’m grateful for another day to learn, grow, love, laugh, and dance.
5. I’m grateful for abundance; lessons, skills, resilience, strength, support, friends, community, love, health, peace, harmony, balance, philanthropy, and prosperity.

Namaste

 

About the Author

Sheri Conaway is a Holistic Ghostwriter, and an advocate for cats and mental health. Sheri believes in the Laws of Attraction, but only if you are a participant rather than just an observer. Her mission is to Make Vulnerable Beautiful and help entrepreneurs touch the souls of their readers and clients so they can increase their impact and their income.

If you’d like to have her write for you, please visit her Hire Me page for more information. You can also find her on Facebook as Sheri Levenstein-Conaway Author

Honor Your Passion, Find Your Expertise

Light the Flame of Your Passion

You are an expert in some area. Sure, you might not be The Expert; the one everyone looks at for guidance on the subject, but you are an expert in your own right whether you realize it or not. If you’re looking for that area, start with something you’re passionate about.

Let’s be clear on something though. Not everyone can, or even should be a rocket scientist. Some of the people I most admire are experts at maintaining a beautiful home. Not only have they created an environment that’s both comfortable and beautiful, they know how to keep it neat, and welcoming with seemingly little effort.

As an inveterate slob, and one who’s lived most of her life in what I generously refer to as organized chaos, it’s a skill set that’s always eluded me. I may have improved with age, and have a neater, more organized environment now, but you’ll never see me on the cover of “House Beautiful”. Many of my friends would definitely make the cut.

It’s not simply decorating and cleaning either. Several have done their own construction; knocking out walls, installing windows and cabinets, and envisioning what they wanted before the work began.

Do What You Love, and Love What You Do

That same ability to envision a finished product is inherent in my friend Mely, and my daughter Heather. Not only do they recognize and implement aesthetics in their physical environment, they’re able to look at a piece of fabric, and see a finished piece. Plus, they have the patience to constantly improve their own skills.

Often, expertise develops in new areas because of what you learned in others. Mely is a talented painter, so sewing for her is another form of art. Heather is a talented crafter, and loves creating in numerous mediums. For both, teaching themselves to sew was a short hop from what they already knew and loved.

You probably take your own skills and talents for granted, brushing off compliments by saying it wasn’t much, or you didn’t really put any effort into it. That’s the beauty of it! You do things effortlessly because they’re in your area of expertise. You branch out into other things naturally because they are a seamless progression from what you already love, and are good at.

Let Your Passion Fuel You

One of my areas of expertise is writing. I’m certainly not the go-to person for all things writing. I don’t offer courses on how to write better. But it does come easily to me, and for those it doesn’t, they see it as a talent they haven’t mastered. Not that I’ve in any way mastered the craft myself, but the ability to knock out 1000+ words in a short amount of time, or to research a topic, then write about it intelligently is something not everyone can do, nor frankly even wants to.

I get it, because I feel that way about sewing. I’d just as soon order my masks, pouches, and even clothing from the people who enjoy sewing. Or worst case, go to a store, or buy it online. The last thing I want to do is pull out my sewing machine, and figure out how to make those things myself. But ask me to sit at my computer for hours writing or researching, and I’ll be all in.

Often, what you’re passionate about fuels you. It brings you comfort, but also a feeling of accomplishment. More often than not, you take it for granted, assuming everyone can do it. Years ago, I believed everyone not only dreamed in color, but remembered their dreams. That belief was shattered in a high school Psychology class when I learned only about 10% of humans dreamed in color, and remembered it.

Stop Taking Yourself for Granted

The same is true for that talent; that gift you’ve been taking for granted. Not only is it a skill most people lack, but it’s something most people probably don’t even like doing!

Think about it. If everyone enjoyed sewing, there’d be no need for clothing manufacturers, or tailors, or mask makers. If everyone enjoyed creating a beautiful home, there’d be no need for interior designers, housekeepers, or maids. And if everyone enjoyed balancing their books, or writing, there’d be no need for accountants, bookkeepers, or writers.

For me, that’s the beauty of Humanity. You get to have unique skills and passions. You get to contribute to a beautiful life, by exercising your own passions, and asking for help in areas outside your own areas of expertise. Best of all, you get to learn new skills that augment or support your passions whenever you want!

Not an Imposter

What I’m trying to say is (to use an old cliche), don’t hide your light under a bushel basket. Revel in your talents; your passions; your expertise, and allow yourself to build on them. Share those skills with others, whether it’s simply family and friends, or you build a business around it. How far you go is limited only by your imagination, motivation, and inspiration.

Don’t get stuck in imposter syndrome either. Sure, there will always be someone who knows more than you do, who dreams bigger, and who executes more elegantly. By the same token, there are many who look to you for inspiration, guidance, and expertise.

Just as you will always be ahead of some, and behind others on your life journey, so too will you be on your path to excellence. So read these next words very carefully. There is never a reason to compare yourself, favorably, or unfavorably to anyone else.

Shine Your Light to Encourage Others

Photo – Rachel Kramer via Flikr

No matter where you are, how much you know, how much you’ve yet to learn, and even, how much you’ve forgotten along the way, you’re exactly where you’re supposed to be right now. You are the expert on your own life, and in the areas that make you glow like a cloud-wrapped Full Moon.

Your glow lights the way for more people than you will ever know! Without you, there are many who would struggle, if not fail to find their own way. Just because you can’t see them doesn’t mean they’re not there. Do you really want to leave so many in the dark because you have yet to recognize how amazing you are?

Please, for the sake of all Humanity, let your passion and expertise light up the sky wherever you go. Be the sunshine of your own life, and let others light their own flame of passion by your example. When all else fails, encourage someone else to shine their light proudly.

Using Gratitude to Honor Self

My gratitudes today are:

1. I’m grateful for finally following my own passion.
2. I’m grateful for opportunities to learn, grow, and expand my expertise.
3. I’m grateful for endless opportunities to write, read, research, and learn.
4. I’m grateful for learning to let my own light shine, knowing I don’t have to have all the answers, or be the best of the best.
5. I’m grateful for abundance; love, joy, independence, inspiration, motivation, imagination, dedication, support, encouragement, joy, peace, harmony, health, philanthropy, and prosperity.

Namaste

 

About the Author

Sheri Conaway is a Holistic Ghostwriter, and an advocate for cats and mental health. Sheri believes in the Laws of Attraction, but only if you are a participant rather than just an observer. Her mission is to Make Vulnerable Beautiful and help entrepreneurs touch the souls of their readers and clients so they can increase their impact and their income.

If you’d like to have her write for you, please visit her Hire Me page for more information. You can also find her on Facebook as Sheri Levenstein-Conaway Author

Technology Providers Are Holding Me Hostage

Am I Too Dependent on Technology Companies?

They’re bleeding us dry. Rates go up without warning, “Promotions” drop off mid-way through a billing period and they claim they can’t do anything until the billing is over. I cry “Bullshit” on that one. I’ve jumped through hoops, and been thrown into voicemail hell too many times. If it means giving up my beloved Hallmark Channel, I’m willing to go that far now. I’m. So. Done.

In some ways, I’m a victim of my own dependencies; holding onto things instead of doing what I do best; finding ways around what gets in my way. Instead of getting my creative juices going, or kicking a few cans around the block while I look in unexpected places for a way around the latest obstacle, I bow down and submit to the stranglehold companies like AT&T, SCE, and Waste Management have been allowed to have on me.

I’ve seriously considered making a life for myself off the grid, but realize I’m not willing to give up creature comforts like Trader Joe’s, my books, my cats, and a warm, soft bed. Meanwhile, people like Lorena Gonzalez; puppet of the AFL-CIO, and her minions are making it harder and harder for honest people to make a decent living. I don’t think off-grid is going to get me far enough away at this point. I may have to pack up my books, my cats, and my computer and go off planet for any relief from the oppression.

Power, Telephone, and Internet: As Addictive as Drugs

A little over dramatic? Maybe. But that’s how frustrated I’m becoming. SCE fails to maintain its equipment and causes millions of dollars in damage with the fires they set. Who pays for it? Certainly not their executives in their ivory towers.

One of the big guys gets sued and pays millions in fines? Do you think those execs give up their hefty bonuses? Think again. The consumer; that’s you and me, takes it in the rear. But they have us by the short hairs. We need phones, internet, TV, trash pickup, and electricity. In some cases, the city we live in frowns on us if we opt out of some of it. I’m even hearing of laws making it illegal to live off-grid.

Could I live without TV? Probably. Electricity? Doubtful. Internet service? Not if I want to continue trying to make a living, pay my bills, keep in touch with friends and family, and so much more. In short, I’m hoisted on my own petard. I’m dependent with no idea how to break away and give them all my middle finger.

Woefully Unprepared to Live Off-Grid

To be honest, with a thumb as black as coal, I’m not confident I could even manage to feed myself, much less accomplish all the other tasks surviving without modern conveniences entails. Unlike some of my friends, I can’t build a shelter, dig a well, grow my own food, or create a light source. I could probably build a fire but it would be awkward, messy, and a lot of trial and error. All the skills I learned as a Girl Scout are long gone. OK, maybe I can still tie a knot. Heck, I’d be downright helpless if I had to live off the land. It’s humbling to admit that with all I’ve accomplished; all I’ve learned, it would be useless in certain situations.

That’s not to say I couldn’t learn how to do some of it, but maybe Max isn’t so far off the mark in bringing me fresh caught rabbits and gophers. Maybe he senses I’m one unpaid electric bill away from starvation.

So what are my options?

• Cut back on TV time, and channel selection
• Turn off the lights shortly after dark, and either use a candle or flashlight, or go to bed early.
• Find ways to work without using the internet, and learn to tolerate slower speeds
• Keep the heater turned down to 60 (Brrrrr!) and buy more blankets and fuzzy socks
• Learn to grow food (that’s actually doable if I get some expert help)
• Learn to use the extensive tool collection I’ve accumulated to actually build and repair things myself

Seeking Options to Feed My Addiction

I could sell off some of my books and maybe my LP’s, but frankly, I don’t think I’d get much for them. I could also find people to swap services with. I’m a decent cook, if they’ll do the hunting and growing. Sad to say, my writing and accounting skills would be worth even less than my books and LP’s in such an exchange.

At the moment, it’s more about blowing off steam than seriously considering most of these things (although U-verse may soon be basic channels only at this rate). I’m already being diligent about turning off lights and watching less TV. I keep my freezer full so it uses less power. I cook batch meals, and get as many of my ingredients on sale as possible. But it isn’t enough, especially when rates for what I’ve come to believe are essentials keep rising, despite any input I might offer in protest, assuming I’m even given the opportunity. (I recently sent back the form to protest rising water rates, for all the good it did me.)

On the plus side, I have enough land around my house to put in a decent garden, and I’m already eating a diet that’s heavier in fruits and vegetables than meat. All joking aside, I can’t really trust the offerings Max (my “barn” cat) brings me since stupid people still think it’s OK to put out rat poison, and there’s no way to know if said offerings have ingested some, even if I could stomach rabbit or gopher. Dancing and going to the gym regularly have improved my strength, stamina, and flexibility, making it easier to perform such tasks should I actually learn to do them successfully.

Fortunate in What Skills and Abilities I Have

Granted, I’m not truly likely to try to exist without electricity, gas, or water in the foreseeable future. AT&T has a real racket going as far as the internet though. If I don’t have at least minimal TV service or a landline in addition to internet, they not only slow my service down, but put a cap on how much I can use! How’s that for customer blackmail???

At any rate, I’ve learned to pick my battles. I finally got someone who put another loyalty discount in place for me, but it won’t kick in until I pay the current bill, which is a whopping $35 higher than last month. The rep’s best offer was to split the payment which, by the way, I could do myself through their online payment system. But what good would that do? I’d still have to pay the extra $35. Sure, it isn’t a fortune, but damn it! It’s the principle of the matter!

When all is said and done, I realize I’m fortunate. I can pay for all of these services even when the rates continue to increase, and service continues to deteriorate. (Edison’s little power surge in October cost me a new computer, which still irks the crap out of me. But it was my own fault for failing to invest in a UPS to prevent such catastrophes. That lapse in judgement was corrected when I bought the new computer!)

There are many who struggle just to keep the lights on, and to be honest, there was a time when I was one of them. I’ve come a long way, and it’s times like this I have to remind myself to be grateful for what I have, and more, what I’ve accomplished. I may not be booking Alaskan cruises, or trips to Europe, but I have everything I need, and a lot of what I want. How many people these days can say that?

Grateful for All the Blessings in My Life

My gratitudes today are:

1. I’m grateful I can meet my own needs, and those of my furry kids.
2. I’m grateful for the friendships I’ve formed after letting go of a lot of the crap in my life, both internally and externally.
3. I’m grateful for opportunities to improve my life in so many ways.
4. I’m grateful for the skills and knowledge I’ve acquired, and the ability to acquire more as I see fit.
5. I’m grateful for abundance; love, friendship, opportunities, motivation, health, harmony, peace, philanthropy, and prosperity.

Love and Light

 

About the Author

Sheri Conaway is a Holistic Ghostwriter, and an advocate for cats and mental health. Sheri believes in the Laws of Attraction, but only if you are a participant rather than just an observer. Her mission is to Make Vulnerable Beautiful and help entrepreneurs touch the souls of their readers and clients so they can increase their impact and their income. If you’d like to have her write for you, please visit her Hire Me page for more information. You can also find her on Facebook Sheri Levenstein-Conaway Author or in her new group, Putting Your Whole Heart Forward

The More Things Change

Seeing Change in My “Not-to-do” List

There are a lot of things I’ve sworn I’d never do over the years: get married, have kids, divorce, bungee jump, sky dive… many are now part of my history while some are permanent fixtures on my “Not To Do” list. Lately, I’m considering removing one I thought I’d leave there forever; get a tattoo.

I recently saw a woman with 3 butterflies flitting up from her back and onto her neck. I was intrigued enough to consider what had become a very strong life symbol for me lately. Right now I’m thinking a small one on the inside of my right wrist. Meanwhile, I’ve started noticing not only butterflies in the wild, but tattoos as well. The latest was a larger one on a shoulder. The wrist still feels right to me but you never know. Then there’s the question of blue ink or a colorfully resplendent monarch or painted lady.

Fortunately, it isn’t a decision I plan to make in the near future. Heaven knows I have far more pressing matters before me. I truly have been evolving from a caterpillar to a butterfly over the last few months. Not only have I become more focused on my writing and online publishing, I’ve also made a firm commitment to invest in my marketing skills.

New Directions, New Guides

Towards that end, I’ve parted company with the coach/mentor I’d been working with this year, turning instead to a course in marketing. I’ve hung out in the Facebook Group “Gorilla Army Nation” for over a year now, picking up tidbits here and there. I knew I wasn’t ready to commit to one of their programs before now. I dabbled in a couple, and got bogged down in the last one.

Fortunately, about the time I was feeling frustrated and stupid, they realized the course I was trying to get through really was overly complex. They came up with one which broke the steps down into much smaller pieces, offering more help, a private group, and tons of encouragement along the way. I took a leap.

I’m not barreling through the course or having almost immediate results like some people, but I feel I’m in good company, working through it slowly, methodically, and with the freedom to ask even the dumbest questions without fear or embarrassment. Both staff and students are supportive, and have already helped me over a couple of humps that stopped me in the larger course. It never occurred to me that if a section didn’t apply, I could simply skip it and move on!

Through the course, I’m learning I do have skills. They’re deeply hidden beneath my misconceptions and underdeveloped social skills. But they are there! And I finally got the answer to the immortal question “How many ICA’s should I have?” that fits with my own thoughts and feelings. (the answer is pretty much “as many as you need”). It is even possible to have thousands of different ones, though for me, a dozen or so should cover it all, at least for now.

Learning to Go Where Life Takes Me Somewhat Gracefully

At the beginning of 2019 I had a certain vision of how the year would unfold. The reality, 9 months in isn’t even close.

Yes, I’m still writing, and sporadically working on “Rebuilding After Suicide”. But I’ve changed directions on it, and am not sweating so much that I’m way behind schedule on the latest re-write. I have been posting chapters of my first novel, “Sasha’s Journey” to ChapterBuzz where I’ve been getting some helpful feedback from other authors.

This year also saw me establish a publishing schedule on Medium, and more recently, receive an invitation to join the writing team of one of the publications. While a huge boost to my ego, not everything I submit to them has been accepted, but I am also being featured every month or so by the Medium team. Recognition might be coming slowly, but since it took me almost 6 years to get to this point, I’m not complaining. In fact, I’m celebrating it as a win!

Seeing Change as a Journey

The butterfly I’ve accepted as a symbol of my journey doesn’t go through the physiological change in one fell swoop. She crawls around as a caterpillar for awhile. One day, she spins herself into a chrysalis where she hangs from a branch for about 10-14 days while her body transforms. Even when the chrysalis opens, she must continue to hang from the branch and pump fluid from her abdomen into wings which were crumpled up inside her temporary home. Once her wings dry, she can finally fly.

I’ve spent the last few years writing lots of words, but also learning what working as a writer really means. I’ve had to establish my own presence and figure out which of the many possible directions I wanted to take. Now, I’m in the stage where I’m strengthening the tools I need to get there. It’s a process, like the butterfly emerging from her chrysalis. Some of it is instinctual, but for me, the business and marketing end really isn’t. I’m having to shed old ways and ideas and learn new ones before I can truly fly. The largest and most obstructive was the idea that I couldn’t market myself. My way was well and truly blocked until I let go of that self-limiting, and utterly false belief.

In some ways, I feel like I’m still in the cocoon, while in others, I feel like I’m already soaring up to the treetops, playing games of tag with the other butterflies.

Traveling My Own Crooked Path

Unlike the butterfly, the steps I need to take aren’t laid out in a nice, precise pattern. I can jump from place to place, learning pieces of things and coming back when I’m ready for more. There’s also room for trial and error which is a good thing, as I don’t always listen to all the instructions; haring off to try something that popped into my head semi-formed. Sometimes it works out splendidly, but mostly it requires another trip to the drawing board.

Such is it with the idea of a tattoo. I’ll think about it for awhile, noticing every butterfly tattoo that crosses my path. I’ll think about a series starting with a chrysalis, then slowly opening to reveal the butterfly. Still, I won’t act until I’m certain it’s what I want; and maybe it will remain an image in my head. I can no more say than I could have predicted on January 1 where I’d be today.

I go where I’m guided to go. Sometimes my guide is my higher self and leads me through a fairly well thought out series of steps. More often, my impatience kicks in or my ADD mind starts spinning. Then I jump around from task to task until I finally exhaust myself and set some guidelines and due dates. I’m learning to accept that a certain amount of structure is a good thing. But I have to make sure and leave space for my imagination to continue to run amok. It’s where the magick happens!

Finding Reasons for Gratitude in All I Do

My gratitudes today are:

1. I’m grateful for change. Life may no longer be predictable, but it’s always interesting.
2. I’m grateful for guidance which has come to me from several different directions this year. I’m sure it’s been there, but I had to be ready to see and hear it.
3. I’m grateful for my solitude. It gives me time to think, to imagine, to go in and out of frustration, to change plans, and to make others.
4. I’m grateful for my friends who continue to be encouraging even if it looks like I have nothing to show for my efforts; even if it appears, to the causal observer that I’m living the life of a retiree. If they only knew!
5. I’m grateful for abundance; love, inspiration, imagination, guidance, support, encouragement, persistence, joy, health, harmony, peace, prosperity, and philanthropy.

Love and Light

 

About the Author

Sheri Conaway is a writer, blogger, ghostwriter, and an advocate for cats and mental health. Sheri believes in the Laws of Attraction, but only if you are a participant rather than just an observer. Her mission is to Make Vulnerable Beautiful and help entrepreneurs touch the souls of their readers and clients so they can increase their impact and their income. If you’d like to have her write for you, please visit her Hire Me page for more information. You can also find her on Facebook Sheri Levenstein-Conaway Author or in her new group, Putting Your Whole Heart Forward

Giving Ourselves Credit for Jobs Well Done

Re-defining Work in the Context of Our Entrepreneurial Jobs

In the last few years, my perception of work has changed dramatically. As an entrepreneur, we often work more hours than we would for a steady paycheck, yet often we don’t see it as working at all. There are days I’ll look back over what I’ve accomplished and tell myself Look, you actually worked 6 hours today! In reality, I may have worked far more, but don’t take into consideration things like social media self-promotion, or making connections as part of that work.

Blog posts are another matter, especially with my aggressive posting schedule. I count the time I spend creating and formatting posts as work hours these days. But what about coaching sessions, or my morning pages where so many of my blog ideas arise? I don’t even count that as part of starting my day. In fact, I’ll often tell myself now that my morning pages are done, I can start my day.

It seems I put morning pages into the same category as sleeping. But as a writer, sitting down to write really is starting my day, isn’t it? It doesn’t really matter if it’s a blog post, an article for a client, a writing prompt, or my morning pages. Writing is writing.

Where Are You Failing to Give Yourself Credit?

How many other entrepreneurs sell themselves short when it comes to acknowledging the time they spend building and maintaining their business? How many of the necessary tasks they do are relegated to that time known as “before I start my day”.

We tend to ignore the fact that running a business involves a thousand little details we don’t think about. We just do them.

• Organizing our work load
• Planning out our week
• Accumulating necessary supplies
• Making phone calls to gather information
• Research
• Bookkeeping
• Coaching sessions
• Maintaining our scheduling system, be it manual, Trello, or some other mechanized format
• Promotion
• Learning new skills
• Keeping up with changes in our market

The list goes on, but all of these are necessary parts of building and maintaining our business, yet all too often, we don’t give ourselves the credit we deserve for making them all happen, and run seamlessly.

Recognizing How Much We’ve Accomplished

I’m often guilty of selling myself short, much to my coach, Linda Clay’s amusement. My latest was realizing I could answer ads on FlexJobs calling for 2-3 years of copywriting experience. Haven’t I been running my own blog and website for nearly 10 years? Haven’t I written articles for other people for at least 3-4 years now? So what if they were ghostwritten and I can’t legitimately claim authorship? I’ve done the writing, so I can claim the experience.

I know I’m not alone in overlooking the experience I’ve gained and the hours I’ve put in. We all have skills and talents we dismiss as unimportant or not valuable. Stay-at-home moms are probably the worst offenders.

Stay-At-Home Moms Have Serious Skills

Many of us know what it takes to maintain a household, take care of kids, and work a full-time job. But what about when you’re home with those kids 24/7? A full-time job gives us a break and allows us to justify a certain amount of slippage in our housewifely duties. A stay-at-home mom gets no breaks, no sick time, no vacation, and no excuses. If it doesn’t get done, it’s on her.

Whether it’s keeping track of the kids’ schedules and getting them to school, lessons, practices, and appointments on time, or keeping the weekly grocery bill within budget. It’s all on her. If something doesn’t get done, it stares her in the face like a gloating gremlin who thrives on her inadequacies. She goes to sleep at night with endless lists running through her brain, and wakes to those same lists, distorted and out of control.

She takes chaos and turns it into order while doing another load of laundry, cleaning up breakfast dishes, and packing her brood off to school. And let’s not even talk about school vacations.

Dividing Our Time Between Jobs

So when I think about doing the mom thing alone since my girls were four, working full-time, and running a part-time accounting business, I finally realize how many balls I kept in the air, and never gave myself credit for. It became such an ingrained habit, I do it still today.

The only kids still at home may be furry, but they require my attention too, even if it’s only feeding and cleaning up after them. When one is ill, I have to take extra time out of my day to administer medications, take them to vet appointments, pick up meds, and in some cases, coax them to eat. Like children, they also require attention, and if I don’t take a break during my work day to do so, they let me know in no uncertain terms it’s time to stop and focus on them. It’s really no different than trying to work with the sound of arguments which need breaking up, or an endless stream of “mom…mommy…MOM’s” interrupting my train of thought. It’s still kids who need my attention as much as my business does.

Needless to say, it’s a juggling act every day, no matter what we call our job. For most of us, the word is probably plural anyway.

Is it Work, or What?

I’ve gotten so bad about recognizing tasks as work-related I’ll actually tell myself it’s time to act like a real business-person, and work at least 8 hours a day. Even if writing isn’t like the drudgery of working for someone else, it’s still work for me. I have tasks I must complete to help promote my business, even if it’s only adding content to my own sites.

When did I get it into my head it’s only work if I hate doing it? When did business have to be a drudgery? And why would I decide to go into business for myself if that’s how I saw it?

Despite the struggles and disappointments of the last 5 years; despite the many things I’ve tried which haven’t yielded the expected results, my stress levels have dropped significantly since I left Corporate America. I suspect the same is true for most others who’ve done the same.

Living the Entrepreneurial Life

Sure, we work more hours than we did when we worked for someone else. Certainly, we take less time off, and typically work at least one day of the weekend. Yet we tell ourselves too often we’re not working enough.

How do we measure enough though? Is it dollars? Sales? Customers? Blog hits? Productivity? In a service-based business, the metrics aren’t as cut-and-dried as a product-based business, but either way, we discount so many tasks as non-work-related, when they really are.

When we’re at a social event and someone asks what we do, don’t we spend a little time talking about our business? We’re not trying to sell something, per se (or at least those of us who don’t like to be pushy about it aren’t), we’re answering the typical questions.

What do you do?

What do you write about?

Have you been published?

Do you have a website?

Promotion as Natural Social Behavior

And so on. In effect, we promote ourselves without reservation, because it’s general conversation. As someone who is self-employed, I find I naturally get more questions about what I do than someone who works for a bank or an engineering company. People are curious and frankly, I love talking about writing to a willing audience. Again, if I were working for someone else, I’d consider myself on the clock during these conversations. As an entrepreneur, I don’t.

The same is true of interactions on social media. Every time I post a tip, or get into a conversation with someone about something they wrote, or re-post one of my blogs, it’s adding value to my business.

It’s time we gave ourselves the credit we deserve, even if our sales numbers have yet to reflect our efforts. You can’t build a skyscraper without laying a firm foundation.

My Grateful Heart

My gratitudes today are:

1. I am grateful for recent epiphanies which build up my sense of self-worth.
2. I am grateful for friends who are willing to share their stories with me.
3. I am grateful for the kicks in the butt which are starting to make me see my own value, and the value of the tasks I perform.
4. I am grateful for every minute more I get with my sweet girl, Munchkin. I know her days are numbered (barring a Christmas Miracle), and treasure the love she gives me now, and has given me for more than 12 years.
5. I am grateful for abundance; friendship, love, joy, connection, inspiration, motivation, sharing, dancing, community, peace, harmony, health, philanthropy, and prosperity.

Love and Light

 

About the Author

Sheri Conaway is a writer, blogger, ghostwriter, and advocate for cats. Sheri believes in the Laws of Attraction, but only if you are a participant rather than just an observer. Her mission is to Make Vulnerable Beautiful and help entrepreneurs touch the souls of their readers and clients so they can increase their impact and their income. If you’d like to have her write for you, please visit her Hire Me page for more information. You can also find her on Facebook Sheri Levenstein-Conaway Author or in her new group, Putting Your Whole Heart Forward.