Intuition and Dreams Predict a Plot Twist

Predictive Dreams

I had a dream… a dream I was living the story in a book, and a friend was reading/living it right behind me. I came to a point where things changed dramatically and while sliding down a snowy hillside with nothing but the seat of my pants to insulate me from the cold, I looked back to yell “Plot Twist!” but my friend had fallen too far behind, and had missed the turn that took me off in a new direction.

Lately certain phrases have been sticking in my brain, and my daily Tarot Card pulls have underscored many. Phrases like “plot twist”, and “the unknown is an adventure” were battling with the part of me that has always slipped back into the soft, warm, boring comfort of the known. Yet I know from everything I’m seeing and experiencing the time has come to shed old ways, and take a few more leaps of faith. Maybe not as big as the last one I took, but leaps nonetheless that require a level of trust and faith I’ve found difficult to embrace on a long-term basis.

The difference is, I feel ready now, but more, I know if I fail to heed all the signposts, the Universe will push me forward and the process will neither be comfortable nor painless. I’ve gotten signs like this in the past—feelings really, that said it’s time to leave something behind and move into uncharted territory. It might have been a job, or a relationship. Either way, the Universe was nudging me to get out of my comfort zone, and even make a break for it before I was sucked back into the dull and boring.

Red Flags and Ruts

It’s clear I’ve become too complacent where I am at the moment. I’ve been following the same patterns for years in some cases, months in others. I’ve known for awhile something was missing, but I was unwilling to poke my nose far enough out of my shell to see what it was. I feel like I’ve reached a point of no return now, when the warm, comfy place I’ve been parked in for what seems like forever is disintegrating, and if I don’t want to be sucked down into the deep, dark hole that’s rapidly forming, I need to take a few giant steps in a different direction.

There’s a lot I don’t know right now, but that doesn’t mean I can’t take some positive steps. Whether it’s changing my tone in blog posts, or getting back on schedule with the rewrite of my memoir, they’re steps I can and will take now. In a sense, I’ve cast off the trappings of my old life, and am standing on the precipice of the new one, naked, a little afraid, but eager to equip myself with lighter layers which will enable me to move more quickly now.

It’s almost like coming out of a long, cold winter when you’re wearing many layers of clothing, a heavy jacket, and insulated boots. The weather starts to get balmy so you shed the heavy coat in favor of a lighter one; the boots for sneakers. Soon the weather warms even more, and you no longer need the jacket. Maybe a light sweater, or just a long-sleeved shirt. I’m moving into summer now, where shorts, a sleeveless shirt, and sandals or bare feet will be sufficient protection from the elements, and won’t encumber me when I need to scramble over a few hills, or wade through streams.

Letting Excitement Overcome Fear

Am I afraid? Perhaps a little. Excitement over what I get to discover is superseding any fear. Mostly, it’s vestiges of my old fear of the unknown rising up to make a last stand before conceding defeat. I’m leaving that part of me behind along with the world I’m shedding, and the trappings that have encumbered me for too long. I’m climbing up on the stage even though I’m not entirely sure what it is I’m going to do or say when I get there. In fact, I’m feeling OK about winging it for awhile until I figure it out.

That says a lot for someone who used to spend a lot of time making plans. In looking back, all of my plans were safe and involved little to no risk, or at least not enough to set off my alarm bells. Granted, those alarms are far more sensitive these days thanks to some not so pleasant life lessons. I’m learning to dismiss many of them as they came before I recognized the problem wasn’t with my choices, but with myself. I settled a lot, believing I didn’t deserve better.

Much of my evolution has occurred in the last 20 to 25 years. It couldn’t happen at all until I realized I had to do a ton of internal work before I could alter my trajectory. Until I did the work, I’d continue to make the same choices, and realize the same results. And yes, I recognized the insanity in doing the same thing over and over, expecting different results. It hadn’t happened in my first 4 decades, and if I hadn’t learned by then, the rest of my life would be just as sad and lonely.

Changes Come in Right Timing

I think the first solid choice I made was to refrain from spending the rest of my life unhappy. Filing for divorce came days after that revelation, though figuring out I had to fix myself took a few years longer. In my defense, I had to get through an ugly divorce that took 3 1/2 years to finalize. In the middle of the muddle, my mom chose suicide, leaving me with another small detail to navigate while trying to be a halfway decent mother to my then 6-year-old daughters.

I made a ton of mistakes along the way to discovering the most important thing of all. I had to stop pretending my life was perfect, and I had to risk letting people get past my crumbling walls. Frankly, the effort of holding all the pieces together was becoming more than I could handle anyway, so tossing that task aside was as much of a relief as losing my mom. I know that one sounds awful, but as unhappy as I was, my mom was infinitely worse. Somehow, as her eldest, she seemed to feel I needed to share in that unhappiness more than most.

Learning to Release the Past

Unfortunately, her own upbringing precluded sharing it with me in a healthy way. Instead, she picked at me, nagging me about everything from the way I raised my kids, to the way I kept my house, and the jobs I chose. The most hurtful of all was comparisons to my sister where I always came out the loser. It led me to block her from my life for a couple of years before my daughters were born, but I let my dad convince me to allow her back in to assume her grandmotherly duties.

It wasn’t entirely a bad thing. My daughters adored her, and she loved having them spend the night once they were old enough to take to zoos, the Tar Pits, and the tennis courts. It gave me a much-needed break during a contentious divorce, and she gave the girls some wonderful experiences.

I’ll always wonder if my refusal to share her unhappiness, and in fact, my tendency to exacerbate it at times was one of the factors that led her to take her life.

As usual, I’ve wandered quite a ways form my original topic, but sometimes, it helps to let my mind wander through all the steps that led me to where I am now. I look back at everything I’ve learned to release, and circle back to a few I still need to work on as I enter my brave, new world with a lighter load, and a more adventurous spirit.

Grateful For All the Hills and Valleys

My gratitudes today are:

1. I’m grateful for the opportunities I’ve taken to shed the hair shirt I thought for years was my due.
2. I’m grateful for my daughters who were sometimes the only reason I kept putting one foot in front of the other, until I learned I deserved a lot more than I was allowing myself.
3. I’m grateful for friends who’ve helped me learn to share more of my reality, and to see that trying to conceal it was not only lonely, but futile.
4. I’m grateful for a lifetime of experiences that have led me to where I am today.
5. I’m grateful for abundance; love, joy, friendship, acceptance, forgiveness, opportunities, excitement, inspiration, motivation, peace, harmony, health, balance, philanthropy, and prosperity.

Love and Light

 

About the Author

Sheri Conaway is a Holistic Ghostwriter, and an advocate for cats and mental health. Sheri believes in the Laws of Attraction, but only if you are a participant rather than just an observer. Her mission is to Make Vulnerable Beautiful and help entrepreneurs touch the souls of their readers and clients so they can increase their impact and their income.

If you’d like to have her write for you, please visit her Hire Me page for more information. You can also find her on Facebook Sheri Levenstein-Conaway Author or in her new group, Putting Your Whole Heart Forward