Keeping Tradition Alive

Make a New Family Tradition

In 2012, my eldest daughter married her best friend. Every year since then, I’ve done my best to find an anniversary gift that adheres to the theme for that year. Each year now has both a modern, and traditional gift category. I’ve chosen to use the traditional, making some years more challenging than others.

Years one through five were fairly simple; paper, cotton, leather, fruit, wood. I searched for things that were useful, practical, and fun. Year six was another matter. Other than a cast iron pan, there’s not much available these days. I couldn’t even find iron candlesticks. In frustration, I visited a local second-hand/antique shop where I found a few cute odds and ends made of iron.

This year was again a simple matter as the theme for year nine is pottery. Putting a few of my daughter’s favorite things together yielded a Tardis cookie jar, and matching salt and pepper shakers. Though it won’t exactly match her decor, I know she’ll make the Tardis work, inasmuch as their original wedding rings had an engraved Tardis, and she’s an avid Dr. Who fan.

Merging the Old With the New

Photo-Tomasz Stasiuk via Flikr

Over the years, my daughter and I have upheld some traditions, and created new ones as well. Every generation will have Snickerdoodles as a staple in their baking repertoire, but my daughter has expanded her cookie expertise to include things like angel cookies, and macarons.

For many years, we spent a week baking for Christmas so we could give boxes of treats away to friends, family, and co-workers. We spent countless hours filling my kitchen with flour, powdered sugar, and laughter. The memories we made are forever etched on my heart, not to mention the walls, ceiling, and floor of my kitchen.

In the last few years, Thanksgiving has evolved from small, but traditional family gatherings into our annual after Thanksgiving feast for 15-40 of our family and friends. Thankfully, in the bigger years, the weather has usually cooperated, allowing us to use the patio for additional seating, and socializing.

Evolving and Emerging

Photo – Julie Raccuglia via Flikr

Looking back, I try to see if any of my mother’s traditions have endured. The only thing that’s remained intact is some of her recipes, and even there, both I and my daughter have modified them to fit our own palates just as my mother evolved beyond her own mother’s bland, tasteless cooking devoid of herbs and spices.

Tastes change. Availability of ingredients change. Health habits change. Everything adds to the beautiful symphony of colors, tastes and textures which become enhancements on old traditions, and entirely new ones too. Technology has a part in the evolution as well.

I remember my mother’s first Radar Range which you know now as a microwave. Today, it’s practically a staple in most home, and restaurant kitchens, but it was a new fangled machine during my teenage years, and as my mother’s cooking had evolved considerably over the years, she had to have the latest and greatest.

Some Old Habits Die Hard—For Good Reason

Photo – Chris Bloom via Flikr

I don’t remember actually cooking meals in the thing. I think we used it mostly to reheat leftovers. When my daughters were growing up, and time was at a premium, I learned to use mine to make complete meals with a little help from a set of microwave cookbooks. Today, I’m more likely to use a crockpot or InstaPot than the microwave, and have gone back to using it to heat up leftovers, or one of my frozen batch meals.

One thing I’ve learned through all the technological advances is I prefer cooking on the stove, in the oven, or in the crockpot over the microwave. The time gained by preparing a meal in the microwave isn’t worth the nutrients, or flavor lost in the process. Granted, I’ll still cook some vegetables that way, but prefer steaming them on the stove. For some reason, they taste better to me.

To me, tradition doesn’t mean doing things the same way because that’s how it’s always been done. It means honoring family history while allowing yourself to evolve and grow. Like the old recipes, I’ve improved on old traditions, and my daughter has added her own spin. You can honor your family’s past without losing sight of the fact each generation, in all likelihood changed something along the way for one reason or another.

Striving for a Better Life

If nothing else, my grandparents grew up in Europe where they were persecuted, and lived a life of looking over your shoulder, and keeping your head down to avoid notice. When they emigrated to the US, many by way of Canada, they took advantage of a level of freedom they could only have imagined in the old country.

My grandparents and their siblings went on to be business owners, as did many of their children. My generation produced business owners, doctors, lawyers, accountants, and a judge. Our parents provided opportunities they hadn’t had, even if they came with a barrel full of outdated beliefs. In my eyes, they dealt with the issues they deemed most important, just as I did with my children, and they will with theirs.

Each generation in their own way upholds the family tradition of giving their children the best life they can. Goals and dreams are encouraged, though the definitions of “practical” and “feasible” continue to evolve. The concept of work/life balance didn’t exist when my parents and grandparents envisioned their goals. They believed working long, hard hours was the only way to succeed, and giving their children lessons, activities and material things was how they demonstrated their success.

Balancing Tradition and Evolution

I struggled for years to find a way to balance both sides of the equation, but erred either on the side of too many work hours, and not enough time for my kids, or not enough money to give them the things I thought they should have. Eventually I learned I was chasing someone else’s dream, and had no chance of real success until I figured out what I wanted my own life to look like.

I learned my contribution to the family history was being the rebel who balked at all the rules, and eventually found ways to break free of old beliefs, and begin to heal ancestral wounds. Hard work is one thing, but it has to be for the right reasons, and in the right direction for you.

My road hasn’t been an easy one. I don’t have the financial freedom I envisioned for myself, nor am I broke and living in a cheap apartment somewhere I hate. I’m happy in my slower, simpler life, where I continue to encourage my daughter to reach for her own stars, and not the ones family tradition might have dictated.

Grateful for Tradition, Both Old, and New

My gratitudes today are:

1. I’m grateful for evolution with a dash of tradition.
2. I’m grateful for getting to be the rebel in my family instead of the sheep.
3. I’m grateful for daughters who are strong enough, and smart enough to find their own paths.
4. I’m grateful for the wherewithal to finally follow my own star.
5. I’m grateful for abundance; love, friendship, joy, inspiration, motivation, strength, tenacity, curiosity, wisdom, growth, health, harmony, peace, balance, philanthropy, and prosperity.

Namaste

 

About the Author

Sheri Conaway is a Holistic Ghostwriter, and an advocate for cats and mental health. Sheri believes in the Laws of Attraction, but only if you are a participant rather than just an observer. Her mission is to Make Vulnerable Beautiful and help entrepreneurs touch the souls of their readers and clients so they can increase their impact and their income.

If you’d like to have her write for you, please visit her Hire Me page for more information. You can also find her on Facebook as Sheri Levenstein-Conaway Author