Rip off the mask, tear down the walls. Show the world my beautiful, vulnerable self!

Posts tagged ‘emerging’

Keeping Tradition Alive

Make a New Family Tradition

Thanksgivign TraditionIn 2012, my eldest daughter married her best friend. Every year since then, I’ve done my best to find an anniversary gift that adheres to the theme for that year. Each year now has both a modern, and traditional gift category. I’ve chosen to use the traditional, making some years more challenging than others.

Years one through five were fairly simple; paper, cotton, leather, fruit, wood. I searched for things that were useful, practical, and fun. Year six was another matter. Other than a cast iron pan, there’s not much available these days. I couldn’t even find iron candlesticks. In frustration, I visited a local second-hand/antique shop where I found a few cute odds and ends made of iron.

This year was again a simple matter as the theme for year nine is pottery. Putting a few of my daughter’s favorite things together yielded a Tardis cookie jar, and matching salt and pepper shakers. Though it won’t exactly match her decor, I know she’ll make the Tardis work, inasmuch as their original wedding rings had an engraved Tardis, and she’s an avid Dr. Who fan.

Merging the Old With the New

Baking Cookies

Photo-Tomasz Stasiuk via Flikr

Over the years, my daughter and I have upheld some traditions, and created new ones as well. Every generation will have Snickerdoodles as a staple in their baking repertoire, but my daughter has expanded her cookie expertise to include things like angel cookies, and macarons.

For many years, we spent a week baking for Christmas so we could give boxes of treats away to friends, family, and co-workers. We spent countless hours filling my kitchen with flour, powdered sugar, and laughter. The memories we made are forever etched on my heart, not to mention the walls, ceiling, and floor of my kitchen.

In the last few years, Thanksgiving has evolved from small, but traditional family gatherings into our annual after Thanksgiving feast for 15-40 of our family and friends. Thankfully, in the bigger years, the weather has usually cooperated, allowing us to use the patio for additional seating, and socializing.

Evolving and Emerging

Emerging

Photo – Julie Raccuglia via Flikr

Looking back, I try to see if any of my mother’s traditions have endured. The only thing that’s remained intact is some of her recipes, and even there, both I and my daughter have modified them to fit our own palates just as my mother evolved beyond her own mother’s bland, tasteless cooking devoid of herbs and spices.

Tastes change. Availability of ingredients change. Health habits change. Everything adds to the beautiful symphony of colors, tastes and textures which become enhancements on old traditions, and entirely new ones too. Technology has a part in the evolution as well.

I remember my mother’s first Radar Range which you know now as a microwave. Today, it’s practically a staple in most home, and restaurant kitchens, but it was a new fangled machine during my teenage years, and as my mother’s cooking had evolved considerably over the years, she had to have the latest and greatest.

Some Old Habits Die Hard—For Good Reason

Microwave cooking

Photo – Chris Bloom via Flikr

I don’t remember actually cooking meals in the thing. I think we used it mostly to reheat leftovers. When my daughters were growing up, and time was at a premium, I learned to use mine to make complete meals with a little help from a set of microwave cookbooks. Today, I’m more likely to use a crockpot or InstaPot than the microwave, and have gone back to using it to heat up leftovers, or one of my frozen batch meals.

One thing I’ve learned through all the technological advances is I prefer cooking on the stove, in the oven, or in the crockpot over the microwave. The time gained by preparing a meal in the microwave isn’t worth the nutrients, or flavor lost in the process. Granted, I’ll still cook some vegetables that way, but prefer steaming them on the stove. For some reason, they taste better to me.

To me, tradition doesn’t mean doing things the same way because that’s how it’s always been done. It means honoring family history while allowing yourself to evolve and grow. Like the old recipes, I’ve improved on old traditions, and my daughter has added her own spin. You can honor your family’s past without losing sight of the fact each generation, in all likelihood changed something along the way for one reason or another.

Striving for a Better Life

New TraditionIf nothing else, my grandparents grew up in Europe where they were persecuted, and lived a life of looking over your shoulder, and keeping your head down to avoid notice. When they emigrated to the US, many by way of Canada, they took advantage of a level of freedom they could only have imagined in the old country.

My grandparents and their siblings went on to be business owners, as did many of their children. My generation produced business owners, doctors, lawyers, accountants, and a judge. Our parents provided opportunities they hadn’t had, even if they came with a barrel full of outdated beliefs. In my eyes, they dealt with the issues they deemed most important, just as I did with my children, and they will with theirs.

Each generation in their own way upholds the family tradition of giving their children the best life they can. Goals and dreams are encouraged, though the definitions of “practical” and “feasible” continue to evolve. The concept of work/life balance didn’t exist when my parents and grandparents envisioned their goals. They believed working long, hard hours was the only way to succeed, and giving their children lessons, activities and material things was how they demonstrated their success.

Balancing Tradition and Evolution

Balance

I struggled for years to find a way to balance both sides of the equation, but erred either on the side of too many work hours, and not enough time for my kids, or not enough money to give them the things I thought they should have. Eventually I learned I was chasing someone else’s dream, and had no chance of real success until I figured out what I wanted my own life to look like.

I learned my contribution to the family history was being the rebel who balked at all the rules, and eventually found ways to break free of old beliefs, and begin to heal ancestral wounds. Hard work is one thing, but it has to be for the right reasons, and in the right direction for you.

My road hasn’t been an easy one. I don’t have the financial freedom I envisioned for myself, nor am I broke and living in a cheap apartment somewhere I hate. I’m happy in my slower, simpler life, where I continue to encourage my daughter to reach for her own stars, and not the ones family tradition might have dictated.

Grateful for Tradition, Both Old, and New

My gratitudes today are:

  1. I’m grateful for evolution with a dash of tradition.
  2. I’m grateful for getting to be the rebel in my family instead of the sheep.
  3. I’m grateful for daughters who are strong enough, and smart enough to find their own paths.
  4. I’m grateful for the wherewithal to finally follow my own star.
  5. I’m grateful for abundance; love, friendship, joy, inspiration, motivation, strength, tenacity, curiosity, wisdom, growth, health, harmony, peace, balance, philanthropy, and prosperity.

Namaste

 

About the Author

Sheri Conaway is a Holistic Ghostwriter, and an advocate for cats and mental health. Sheri believes in the Laws of Attraction, but only if you are a participant rather than just an observer. Her mission is to Make Vulnerable Beautiful and help entrepreneurs touch the souls of their readers and clients so they can increase their impact and their income.

If you’d like to have her write for you, please visit her Hire Me page for more information. You can also find her on Facebook as Sheri Levenstein-Conaway Author

Emerging From the COVID Cocoon

Leave the Cocoon at Your Own Pace

cocoon

Photo – Julie Raccuglia via Flikr

For the last 15 months or so, the world has been in a cocoon of sorts as everyone tries, in their own way to remain healthy and out of the wake of a virulent virus. Some have completely retreated from the world, while others have acted like it’s all a hoax. Most though have found some kind of middle ground.

My own choices have left me fairly isolated; exercising in my living room, shopping less frequently, and when I did go out, sanitizing the heck out of everything I brought back with me. Whether because of my precautions, or my own immunities, I’ve managed to stay physically healthy for the most part, for which I’m incredibly grateful. Though no one close to me contracted the virus, there have been a few in my world in general who have succumbed in varying degrees; a couple completely.

Scientists worked around the clock to develop vaccines which could at least minimize the risk of an infection being fatal, and many have availed themselves of those vaccines. Others are either exercising their freedom of choice, or continuing to insist it’s all imaginary, or a hoax. The choice is theirs, and I hope their immunities stand them in good stead, not only so they stay healthy, but so the numbers continue to drop.

A Time to Emerge and Fly Free Again

Like most people, I’ve tired of living in a cocoon. I’ve grown weary of my own dancecompany; my own 4 walls…even my expansive yard. I long to be back out in the world, dancing with friends, enjoying dinner and movie dates, shopping whenever I want instead of pre-planning everything. I’ve learned too much time alone can be more exhausting than any crowd situation this introvert might encounter.

I miss concerts, and Shakespeare in the park, dancing on a real dance floor with people to play off of, laughing together, and most of all, those big, warm hugs. I’m tempted to jump in with both feet, throwing caution to the wind. Yet I know I’ll proceed cautiously, often taking my cue from those I know are at greater risk than me. I’m grateful for everyone who’s given up so much to help end the pandemic. For graduations, funerals, weddings, and holidays postponed. For Zoom, Facetime, and other means of connecting virtually.

I wonder how we’ll make the transition back to a connected life, and what the new normal will be. Working virtually may be old hat for me and others like me, but many were forced into it for the sake of the many, whether they agreed or not. Too many businesses were unable to survive, and leaving many without jobs. Many which survived will continue to struggle until the world gets back up to speed. I suspect it’ll be a different revolution than the one we left behind a year ago last March.

Transition Differs From Person to Person

Transition

Photo – 7263255 via Flikr

Will people spin faster than ever to make up for the long hibernation, or will they plod slowly along, waiting to see where the new road leads? I suspect there will be many who, like a bear in the Spring come out rubbing their eyes, and placing their feet deliberately until they’re sure the ground beneath can bear their weight. Some will come charging out like children at the end of the school year, anxious to resume outdoor activities, pool parties, and less restrictive lives.

Perhaps the transition will be easier on those who remain unconvinced there was ever anything to worry about. They kept on with their lives, hiking, dancing outside until indoor facilities became available, getting together with groups of friends, and otherwise carrying on business as usual. They were less dependent on virtual activities so taking things back to in person, indoors won’t be much of a change despite the closure of many old, familiar places.

I could be envious of an easier re-entry. Instead, I’m grateful I followed my own conscience, and will continue to do so. I think that’s all you can expect of yourself or anyone else. No lifestyle, choice, or decision will ever be the same for everyone, nor should it be. If nothing else, it keeps everyone from trying to crowd into the same place at the same time. I continue to appreciate variety, and diversity. I don’t have to agree with everyone, or even appreciate the choices they make. I simply need to continue to respect those choices.

Emerging in Your Own Space and Time

At the moment, my only real concern is successfully emerging from my own emergingcocoon, allowing my wings to dry sufficiently, and allowing myself to fly once again. There will always be a certain amount of risk, and it’s up to each person to determine the level they’re willing to take. I know the level I accept is higher than some, lower than others.

It’s neither a race, nor a comparison. I accept what’s comfortable, and a little uncomfortable for me. At times, I push further into the discomfort zone because I know it’s necessary to my evolution. I know I can’t impose my own beliefs or expectations on anyone else.

Step Forth Bravely

Letting Go

Photo – Philip Leara via Flikr

Everyone must choose for themselves, and act on those choices. If you ask me, it makes life a lot more interesting when some are ready and willing to literally jump out of airplanes, some figuratively leap off cliffs, and others stay safely on the ground.

At times you might get a push because you’ve stood in one place too long, and need a little boost to help you move. Maybe you even wanted something to shake you out of your safe, comfortable world a little. I know I have on many occasions, though until the shove, or kick in the butt came, I didn’t know it.

To all of you out there during these crazy times of re-entry, I wish you the space to make your choices, the encouragement to go where you, alone know you need to, and the extra push if you get stuck taking that first step forward. The success of each person is the success of everyone else. If nothing else, someone out there needs to see the path you’ve forged in order to forge their own.

Be brave. Be strong. Be confident even in the face of uncertainty and adversity. If you can keep moving, you can succeed at anything you desire.

Bolstering My Foundation With Gratitude

My gratitudes today are:

  1. I’m grateful for opportunities to emerge from my 15-month cocoon.
  2. I’m grateful for courage, even when the odds seem skewed against me.
  3. I’m grateful for choices.
  4. I’m grateful for diversity.
  5. I’m grateful for abundance; strength, individuality, friendship, community, joy, change, challenges, lessons, opportunities, inspiration, motivation, dedication, peace, harmony, health, balance, philanthropy, and prosperity.

Namaste

 

About the Author

Sheri Conaway is a Holistic Ghostwriter, and an advocate for cats and mental health. Sheri believes in the Laws of Attraction, but only if you are a participant rather than just an observer. Her mission is to Make Vulnerable Beautiful and help entrepreneurs touch the souls of their readers and clients so they can increase their impact and their income.

If you’d like to have her write for you, please visit her Hire Me page for more information. You can also find her on Facebook as Sheri Levenstein-Conaway Author

Intuition and Dreams Predict a Plot Twist

Predictive Dreams

negativity and turmoilI had a dream… a dream I was living the story in a book, and a friend was reading/living it right behind me. I came to a point where things changed dramatically and while sliding down a snowy hillside with nothing but the seat of my pants to insulate me from the cold, I looked back to yell “Plot Twist!” but my friend had fallen too far behind, and had missed the turn that took me off in a new direction.

Lately certain phrases have been sticking in my brain, and my daily Tarot Card pulls have underscored many. Phrases like “plot twist”, and “the unknown is an adventure” were battling with the part of me that has always slipped back into the soft, warm, boring comfort of the known. Yet I know from everything I’m seeing and experiencing the time has come to shed old ways, and take a few more leaps of faith. Maybe not as big as the last one I took, but leaps nonetheless that require a level of trust and faith I’ve found difficult to embrace on a long-term basis.

The difference is, I feel ready now, but more, I know if I fail to heed all the signposts, the Universe will push me forward and the process will neither be comfortable nor painless. I’ve gotten signs like this in the past—feelings really, that said it’s time to leave something behind and move into uncharted territory. It might have been a job, or a relationship. Either way, the Universe was nudging me to get out of my comfort zone, and even make a break for it before I was sucked back into the dull and boring.

Red Flags and Ruts

It’s clear I’ve become too complacent where I am at the moment. I’ve been following the same https://www.flickr.com/photos/101561334@N08/10197031243/in/photolist-gx5s8v-jFvehZ-ceYKvY-gx4Gcf-Qv32MQ-gx58Ji-aavAwk-k15Tk9-gcokN-jYnA9p-pts3CH-KErQUu-fMFuKi-5gvfXp-gx5zqD-594W8Y-gx5GPp-gx4EMG-S7Jpw1-P5f7sP-VMMRHL-oiRYiu-7pPH6E-2bXKRhj-2cLerFQ-oxWTqS-psDwB2-ceXTFN-amxUkM-2bsd6t6-N7Lj5T-cbSXFd-YtbGJE-bNJ5H-RNvZP3-kiboPh-WmzxPu-7UzoSM-24eKtUM-cjgru7-n3pBeq-7PK4bp-ajX4J8-nk5bJN-88HFFJ-W18WBb-jBnrh2-ciDDMd-TzUwZm-8wqYSTpatterns for years in some cases, months in others. I’ve known for awhile something was missing, but I was unwilling to poke my nose far enough out of my shell to see what it was. I feel like I’ve reached a point of no return now, when the warm, comfy place I’ve been parked in for what seems like forever is disintegrating, and if I don’t want to be sucked down into the deep, dark hole that’s rapidly forming, I need to take a few giant steps in a different direction.

There’s a lot I don’t know right now, but that doesn’t mean I can’t take some positive steps. Whether it’s changing my tone in blog posts, or getting back on schedule with the rewrite of my memoir, they’re steps I can and will take now. In a sense, I’ve cast off the trappings of my old life, and am standing on the precipice of the new one, naked, a little afraid, but eager to equip myself with lighter layers which will enable me to move more quickly now.

It’s almost like coming out of a long, cold winter when you’re wearing many layers of clothing, a heavy jacket, and insulated boots. The weather starts to get balmy so you shed the heavy coat in favor of a lighter one; the boots for sneakers. Soon the weather warms even more, and you no longer need the jacket. Maybe a light sweater, or just a long-sleeved shirt. I’m moving into summer now, where shorts, a sleeveless shirt, and sandals or bare feet will be sufficient protection from the elements, and won’t encumber me when I need to scramble over a few hills, or wade through streams.

Letting Excitement Overcome Fear

https://www.flickr.com/photos/philleara/7246573430/in/photolist-c3mzPd-djJiUe-oajKtQ-djJjmv-djJjLR-oapGkZ-djJjb9-djJj5F-cntb2u-7Y2xWm-cntayf-c3mLB3-n329S-7XYhYD-cntbhs-TCrSUz-gg7DZE-gg7XMV-6Ak5ks-9a2C7g-djJjz6-cntb85-rCKS6-cntag1-azBhou-3oXQYc-cnta8q-cntaL7-ocbPjv-oa7hn8-fJm576-baRPgp-7Y2xp7-8ommnm-bA1QHR-cnt9j1-dmywKj-7Y2x7b-4vwAew-aAPJwq-oa7iJB-cnt9xu-2FtNgi-gunWiW-hLgWLK-e4kv6P-2FtPvB-9GPQLh-4vsuDF-baRMyvAm I afraid? Perhaps a little. Excitement over what I get to discover is superseding any fear. Mostly, it’s vestiges of my old fear of the unknown rising up to make a last stand before conceding defeat. I’m leaving that part of me behind along with the world I’m shedding, and the trappings that have encumbered me for too long. I’m climbing up on the stage even though I’m not entirely sure what it is I’m going to do or say when I get there. In fact, I’m feeling OK about winging it for awhile until I figure it out.

That says a lot for someone who used to spend a lot of time making plans. In looking back, all of my plans were safe and involved little to no risk, or at least not enough to set off my alarm bells. Granted, those alarms are far more sensitive these days thanks to some not so pleasant life lessons. I’m learning to dismiss many of them as they came before I recognized the problem wasn’t with my choices, but with myself. I settled a lot, believing I didn’t deserve better.

Much of my evolution has occurred in the last 20 to 25 years. It couldn’t happen at all until I realized I had to do a ton of internal work before I could alter my trajectory. Until I did the work, I’d continue to make the same choices, and realize the same results. And yes, I recognized the insanity in doing the same thing over and over, expecting different results. It hadn’t happened in my first 4 decades, and if I hadn’t learned by then, the rest of my life would be just as sad and lonely.

Changes Come in Right Timing

I think the first solid choice I made was to refrain from spending the rest of my life unhappy. Filing for divorce came days after that revelation, though figuring out I had to fix myself took a few years longer. In my defense, I had to get through an ugly divorce that took 3 1/2 years to finalize. In the middle of the muddle, my mom chose suicide, leaving me with another small detail to navigate while trying to be a halfway decent mother to my then 6-year-old daughters.

I made a ton of mistakes along the way to discovering the most important thing of all. I had to stop pretending my life was perfect, and I had to risk letting people get past my crumbling walls. Frankly, the effort of holding all the pieces together was becoming more than I could handle anyway, so tossing that task aside was as much of a relief as losing my mom. I know that one sounds awful, but as unhappy as I was, my mom was infinitely worse. Somehow, as her eldest, she seemed to feel I needed to share in that unhappiness more than most.

Learning to Release the Past

Unfortunately, her own upbringing precluded sharing it with me in a healthy way. Instead, she picked at me, nagging me about everything from the way I raised my kids, to the way I kept my house, and the jobs I chose. The most hurtful of all was comparisons to my sister where I always came out the loser. It led me to block her from my life for a couple of years before my daughters were born, but I let my dad convince me to allow her back in to assume her grandmotherly duties.

It wasn’t entirely a bad thing. My daughters adored her, and she loved having them spend the night once they were old enough to take to zoos, the Tar Pits, and the tennis courts. It gave me a much-needed break during a contentious divorce, and she gave the girls some wonderful experiences.

I’ll always wonder if my refusal to share her unhappiness, and in fact, my tendency to exacerbate it at times was one of the factors that led her to take her life.

As usual, I’ve wandered quite a ways form my original topic, but sometimes, it helps to let my mind wander through all the steps that led me to where I am now. I look back at everything I’ve learned to release, and circle back to a few I still need to work on as I enter my brave, new world with a lighter load, and a more adventurous spirit.

Grateful For All the Hills and Valleys

My gratitudes today are:

  1. I’m grateful for the opportunities I’ve taken to shed the hair shirt I thought for years was my due.
  2. I’m grateful for my daughters who were sometimes the only reason I kept putting one foot in front of the other, until I learned I deserved a lot more than I was allowing myself.
  3. I’m grateful for friends who’ve helped me learn to share more of my reality, and to see that trying to conceal it was not only lonely, but futile.
  4. I’m grateful for a lifetime of experiences that have led me to where I am today.
  5. I’m grateful for abundance; love, joy, friendship, acceptance, forgiveness, opportunities, excitement, inspiration, motivation, peace, harmony, health, balance, philanthropy, and prosperity.

Love and Light

 

About the Author

Sheri Conaway is a Holistic Ghostwriter, and an advocate for cats and mental health. Sheri believes in the Laws of Attraction, but only if you are a participant rather than just an observer. Her mission is to Make Vulnerable Beautiful and help entrepreneurs touch the souls of their readers and clients so they can increase their impact and their income.

If you’d like to have her write for you, please visit her Hire Me page for more information. You can also find her on Facebook Sheri Levenstein-Conaway Author or in her new group, Putting Your Whole Heart Forward

Confessions of a Book Addict

A Book Once Bought is Never Wasted

I am a hopeless book buyer. I come alive between the shelves of a bookstore, searching for hidden gems, and books which leap off the shelf as if summoned by some inner quest. The result is shelves overflowing with books, many of which I’ve yet to read.

In the last couple of years, I’ve had some of these books suddenly tumble from a shelf, as if magnetized by either a need or a readiness to embrace what lies between its pages.

It happened again yesterday when Sue Monk Kidd’s When the Heart Waits fell into my grasp, answering a quest I was unaware I’d begun. At first, I was put off by the overtly Christian direction she discussed in the introduction, but knowing it’s arrival in my hands was no accident, I turned to Chapter 1 and began reading.

Soon, I was engrossed in her words and saying “oh yeah!” to myself with every other sentence. I discovered, like many authors, she writes from what she knows, not from the traditional doctrine I’ve come to associate with Christianity in particular and organized religion as a whole. Her journey has taken her down many roads and the fullness of her experiences comes through in how openly she discusses her own challenges and lessons.

Learning the True Meaning of Waiting

I have to admit, I don’t even remember buying the book. I can’t even tell from the tag where I might have purchased it. It doesn’t really matter. What matters is it made it into my library and waited patiently until fate, circumstance or some other force deemed the time right for me to find answers in its pages.

In the first couple of chapters, Ms. Kidd talks about the value of waiting, comparing the process of a caterpillar waiting in its cocoon until the time is right to emerge as a butterfly. I realized as I read (part of the time, in the middle of a crowded restaurant where I easily tuned out the noise of other diners and wait staff) that the time between quitting my job in December of 2013 and now has, in it’s own way been my period of waiting. In that time, I’ve tried many things as a means only to earn money. I’m not ashamed to admit most of them have failed. What has worked, surprisingly enough is when I allow work to flow to me; allow myself to be open to whatever the Universe has in store for me. Only then am I brought together with people who are important to my own spiritual development, and thus, my growth and success.

Life by the Numbers

Talking to friends last night, we got on the subject of year numbers. When I quit my job, I was coming to the end of a “4” year and embarking on a “5” year. Creative Numerology provides the following regarding a “4” year:

Whatever you want to happen, you have to make it happen. A strong Will is needed. However, it is in the 4 year that we realize that our Will is not free at all because we have repressed it with a limited vision of our potential. 4 can make you feel restricted and boxed-in by circumstances that really are ‘beyond your control’, and knowing how you feel is the only way to know what to do next. It is from your feelings that creativity is born and, thankfully, your experiences along the down-to-Earth 4 year road will make emotional denial almost impossible.

I can attest to the fact that I did a lot of soul-searching and talking to people in my healing class before taking what was then, and remains even in hindsight a huge leap of faith. I left a comfortable if stagnant life as a corporate controller to enter the blinding uncertainty which accompanied following my passion as a writer. Three years later, a look at my finances would render this experiment/experience a dismal failure, but is it really? I’m happier, healthier, have 3 novels in progress, have resurrected my memoir and a children’s book I wrote years ago. I’ve expanded my knowledge on a variety of subjects and joined communities of people whose thinking complements mine. My stress level is lower and I’ve released over 20 pounds. How is this a failure?

Creative Numerology’s explanation of the “5” year includes the following paragraph which certainly defined my choices in 2014:

Regardless of what is happening globally, the world is opening up for you now, and is inviting you to experience it to the fullest. Yes, experience itself is what is on offer this year. In order to receive it, and in order to retain your freedom, some mistakes may have to be made. Remember that a mistake becomes experience when its lesson is learned and not repeated. Allow your mistakes to evolve into expertise. Alexander Graham Bell, for instance, invented the telephone by mistake. He was actually trying to invent a hearing aid. One of the biggest mistakes you could make this year is giving up on something before you have given yourself the opportunity to experience it in a state of freedom. You do not always have to lose what you have in order to get what you want. Guilt, disguising itself as fear, makes you feel this way.

Reflection and Appreciation

I certainly had my share of false starts in 2014. That was the year I tried AWAI’s copywriting course and after several months of slogging through it, I discovered it just wasn’t for me. It was also the year I completed the NaNoWriMo novel I’d begun in 2014; the novel which has now been revised a couple of times and will soon be picked apart and spreadsheeted to make sure the flow, the characters, and the energy really work. It was the year I began my second NaNoWriMo, A Dubious Gift which I’ve yet to either revise or spreadsheet. And it was the last year I did any real work for my former employer.

It was a year of learning what didn’t work; a year of trying hard to accept that doing something just for the money was doomed to failure, yet continuing to try until my ego was bloody from the effort. But it was also a year when I was able to discard many unworkable options.

From 2014 until now, I have certainly spent a lot of time waiting. Waiting for inspiration. Waiting for something to hit me which would actually be revenue generating. Waiting to understand my true passion. Waiting to figure out which book I should endeavor to publish first.

Emerging from the Cocoon

But mixed in with all of the waiting, I found my own essence. I continued to learn about accepting the actions of others without judgment or personalization. I learned that my parents followed their own path, inexplicable to me, but necessary to them. I learned that sharing my struggles to understand, to forgive, to accept, and to heal would actually help me achieve all of that and more. And it would allow me to do what had, up to that point, escaped me. I was able to help others struggling with the same kind of trauma and let them know they weren’t alone in all of the emotions they were feeling. Nor were they ever to blame.

All of this waiting may have drained my financial resources, but it has been filling my spiritual reservoir at a steady pace. I have not always expressed my passion and now I see there are times to simply allow it to flow. So many times I had an idea for a blog post but neglected to jot it down somewhere, and it never came to fruition. I see now those things were simply meant for my personal growth and not for sharing.

So I say to you now, in the immortal words of Simon and Garfunkel: Slow down, you move too fast. Got to make the morning last. Just kickin’ down the cobblestones. Looking for fun and feelin’ groovy.

There is a time and a season for movement, and there’s a time and a season for waiting and resting and listening. All too often, we honor one and not the other. The result is not just imbalance but a failure to be the whole and complete person we were meant to be. If you need a little help finding the power to control less and be more, I highly recommend Ms. Kidd’s book, Where the Heart Waits.

With Gratitude

My gratitudes today are:
1. I am grateful for serendipitous book falls.
2. I am grateful for the time I’ve spent waiting.
3. I am grateful for friends who have the right words at the right time to guide me on my journey.
4. I am grateful for missed opportunities.
5. I am grateful for abundance; epiphanies, knowledge, resources, friendship, dancing, fat release, joy, love, passion, purpose, peace, humor, harmony, philanthropy and prosperity.

Blessed Be

I invite you to visit my Facebook pages, Sheri Levenstein-Conaway Author and HLWT Accounting. Please also drop by my website, www.shericonaway.com and check out my Hire Me Page. I’ve created these pages as a means of positive affirmation and would be very grateful if you’d “like” them or leave a comment! Thank you!

Design a site like this with WordPress.com
Get started