Through the Eyes of a Child

Set Your Inner Child Free

Inside you there’s a child who’s most likely been shoved to the back of your mind so many times, they’ve given up trying to get your attention. They huddle in a corner, neglected and ignored. Yet it would take the smallest spark; the teeniest bit of attention to put the light back into their eyes, and open yours to the beauty and possibilities you shut out when you stopped allowing your inner child to come out and play.

You’ve blinded yourself with disillusionment, hurt, trauma, and frustration, forgetting in the process, a door closes for a reason, and you have to let go of outdated ideas and behaviors in order to heal and grow. In short, you have to allow childlike wonder to come back into your life instead of setting expectations low to avoid disappointment.

Fortunately, reminders come into your life in the form of children and grandchildren. Their laughter at simple things like a cat rolling on the floor to scratch her back, or doing a happy dance while gazing at you with pure love setting their entire face aglow can re-open your eyes to possibilities you’ve allowed trauma and disappointment to obscure.

Open to the Wonders of Life

Photo -Marisha Fox via Flikr

In the eyes of a child the world is a constant source of wonder and entertainment; filled with possibilities and potential. They don’t fear falling because they know they can get up and try again. It’s adults who instill that fear, either by magnifying the potential dangers, or by failing to provide an environment that’s safe for exploring, and supportive of the unsuccessful attempts that are lessons with which they’ll eventually figuring it all out.

Excluding cases of outright neglect and abuse, which is another conversation entirely, you instill those fears with the best of intentions. You want to protect your child from learning things the hard way; a stove is hot, running without watching where you’re going can lead to collisions and falls. You want to protect them from others because the sad fact is, there are many broken people in the world who act out their pain on others. All too often, they’ll prey on children because their innocence makes them easier to ensnare.

The tricky part is instilling lessons of caution without smashing the natural wonder and curiosity. My youngest daughter was an exuberantly friendly toddler. She’d walk up to anyone with her arms raised, a silent request to be picked up. It broke my heart to have to teach her not all strangers were trustworthy and kind, though it allowed her to grow up safe from predators. Unfortunately, it also hardened her, and stifled the delightful, friendly child who saw the good in everyone, and who never met a stranger.

Stronger Than You Think

Strength-Spiral Tarot

By the same token, allowing your child within to come out to play in a world your adult self knows is fraught with dangers both hidden and overt is often resisted whether or not there’s obvious cause. You’ve been hurt, and even broken enough times to have learned to temper your trust with a heavy dose of caution, even to the point of trusting a minute number of humans, if any.

Your head tells you to hide your inner child away from any danger; to consider everyone and everything a threat until proven otherwise. In so doing, you stifle your own sense of adventure, despite the fact you’ve learned from the many times you’ve stumbled, fallen, or been tripped and battered not only how to protect yourself, but how to pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and learn from the experience.

You’re no longer a helpless, innocent child. You have an army behind you built of experiences, challenges, and lessons. Your inner child’s apparent innocence is an illusion. You’ve given them the tools they need to continue exploring, and experiencing the world without putting themselves into obviously dangerous situations.

Failing in Order to Learn

Photo – Philip Leara via Flikr

In truth, stumbling and falling, though likely to be less traumatic continues to be part of the learning process. Learning what causes pain teaches you to be more successful in your explorations, though for many, pain becomes fear of exploring at all. Fear of pain evolves into lack of trust all too easily.

Watching my infant grandchildren exploring the world, I know there will be bumped heads, pinched fingers, and more dramatic wounds which will hurt their parents’ hearts and mine. I also know those wounds will make them stronger, and, if not turned into fear, more adventurous. My own daughters added many gray hairs to my head, and gave me numerous anxious hours spent waiting in ER’s with the results of their latest adventure…and lesson.

I’m grateful my instincts refrained from turning the multiple visits to the ER for stitches into reasons to instill fear in my daughters, else they wouldn’t have put on their roller blades again, to go charging hell-bent-for-leather down the street, nor continued to run, play, climb, or ride their bikes like normal, active, inquisitive children. Thankfully, my own lack of propensity for hysterics, and tendency to be strong and solid in a crisis taught my daughters to act first, and to quietly fall apart once the crisis, and need for strength and a clear head had passed.

Welcoming the Inner Child’s Viewpoint

The question remains, why did I, like so many of you out there, not teach my inner child the same lesson? Why did I teach her to face the unknown with fear rather than curiosity? Why did I stuff her in my mental closet for so many years before I learned letting her natural tendency loose would expand my world beyond my wildest imagination?

And yet, I did finally get out of my own way, so to speak, and allow her to take the lead. I stopped needing to force my world to make some kind of sense, and I gave up trying to force myself into a box constructed of expectations that weren’t mine, but weren’t really anyone else’s either. They were what I thought I needed to do to fit in.

What Others Think of You is None of Your Business

I realize now, the harder I tried to be something I wasn’t; to listen to the adult who’d lost the ability to love and accept her uniqueness, the further I got from anyone who could or would accept me wholly and completely. It wasn’t until I essentially declared; I no longer give a damn whether people like me or not. I’m going to be myself, warts and all. I’m tired of trying to fit in; of forcing myself into a set of rules I neither agree with, nor understand.

In short, my life really began, and I finally fit in exactly where I belonged when I allowed my inner 5-year-old to say emphatically; I don’t need to be anything or anyone I’m not. Love me, or hate me. I don’t care, as long as I love myself with all my quirks, scars, and imperfections.

So if you’re struggling to measure up to some arbitrary set of rules you never seem to get the hang of, maybe it’s time to stop trying, and to let your own inner 5-year-old come out to play. Go back to the playground where there were no rules per se, and you joined in by walking up and saying; Hi. What’s your name?

Grateful for My Inner Child’s Wisdom

My gratitudes today are:

1. I’m grateful for learning to give my inner child the wheel.
2. I’m grateful for children who remind me adulting is optional most of the time.
3. I’m grateful for a change in perspective that gave me a more fulfilling life.
4. I’m grateful for my inner child who makes friends far better than my adult self ever did.
5. I’m grateful for abundance; love, friendship, joy, simplicity, risk taking, opportunities, wonder, excitement, compassion, belonging, peace, harmony, balance, health, philanthropy, and prosperity.

Namaste

 

About the Author

Sheri Conaway is a Holistic Ghostwriter, and an advocate for cats and mental health. Sheri believes in the Laws of Attraction, but only if you are a participant rather than just an observer. Her mission is to Make Vulnerable Beautiful and help entrepreneurs touch the souls of their readers and clients so they can increase their impact and their income.

If you’d like to have her write for you, please visit her Hire Me page for more information. You can also find her on Facebook as Sheri Levenstein-Conaway Author