Illogical Beliefs Live in Unhealed Wounds

Beliefs Divide Us

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The last few years have brought to the forefront how easily beliefs can be used to control the masses, turning neighbor against neighbor, friends into enemies, and even brother against brother. Sadly, once the seed of dissent is planted, every one of us is ready and willing to nurture it into a rampant, virulent kudzu vine.

Though overt examples of belief overpowering logic and compassion seem to have dwindled, it would be a mistake to believe they’ve disappeared. Instead, they’ve gone back to bubbling beneath our politer surfaces, where a single spark will bring them roaring to the forefront with volcanic force.

It might be a seemingly innocent comment. The speaker instinctively knows, but won’t readily admit to knowing the words are inflammatory to someone with opposing beliefs. In light of events of the last few years, there’s no legitimate reason they don’t know who and why their words will trigger a passionate, and equally belief-driven response.

The part I find interesting is both points of view believe their words and thoughts are fueled by logic. Nothing could be further from the truth. Sure, some of us can quote scientific studies to support one belief or another, but those who believe differently will find some source they deem reputable to refute our claims, as we would with theirs.

Learn to Listen Without Judgement

If we’re ever going to find a middle ground and actually communicate again, there has to be a laying down of arms, or in this case, we need to take a hard, objective look at what we believe, why we believe it, and where it came from in the first place. Too many of those beliefs are likely rooted in the innocent, impressionable years of our childhood, and are inexplicably tied to emotions we never experienced ourselves.

I know I have knee-jerk reactions to many things, and often shut down when I see or hear something that opposes the beliefs I’ve both developed through my own experiences, and inherited from my parents. Too many times, I’ve allowed those beliefs to close my mind to another viewpoint, especially when merely seeing or hearing those opposing viewpoints raises my ire or passion.

Even when passion is lit by a belief I created from my own experiences, it doesn’t mean the belief takes new developments, or even my own healing into consideration. Too often, past experiences left me scarred, or worse, with unhealed wounds which take little to re-open painfully. Part of becoming more compassionate, and open to listening respectfully to other viewpoints lies in revisiting those old wounds, removing the associated coping mechanisms, and allowing them to heal properly. Though it sounds simple conceptually, you can’t understand the magnitude and pain the process involves until you’ve walked the path yourself as I have.

Healing Personal and Ancestral Wounds

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It would be amazing if everyone learned early on to heal their own wounds, and start the process before coping mechanisms were cemented into their psyche. But we’re brought into this world by beings as imperfect as ourselves, and learn to deal with trauma and pain from the examples they set.

In my case, trauma, pain, disappointment, and all of the other challenges life throws us were shoved into Pandora’s boxes, closed up behind ultimately flimsy brick walls, or hidden behind fragile masks. What my parents didn’t teach me, and perhaps hadn’t learned themselves at the time is those methods aren’t sustainable, and in fact, cause enormous problems as the stockpile grows. There comes a point where no amount of reinforcement is sufficient to prevent the dam from bursting, and all hell to break loose.

Unfortunately for my daughters, I, too learned this lesson too late in life to pass on healthier patterns, but can only hope they learned it soon enough to break the pattern with my grandchildren. I believe, however, it’s never to late to right old wrongs, especially when they were based on old, outdated information.

Changing Old, Outdated Patterns

My family carries a heavy load of ancestral wounds from centuries of

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antisemitism and tyranny. The coping mechanisms passed down from one generation to the next may make no sense since my grandparents emigrated from Europe.

Nevertheless, they remain in the fabric of our beings until my generation and the next make a conscious effort to let them go and recognize they’re a hindrance to our own growth.

Because most, if not all of us carry ancestral wounds, it has affected the way we

respond to conflict, challenges, and outright trauma, further impacting beliefs so deeply ingrained as to be part of our souls. I believe by making a conscious effort to understand where our most deeply ingrained beliefs arose, and how many no longer even apply to the lives we live, we can change our beliefs for the better. We can become more open and understanding to those who are still stifled by a blanket of old, outdated beliefs they hold onto for dear life, thinking they’re imperative to their survival.

Change Your Outlook from Surviving to Thriving

Maybe that’s the key element. Too many people look at their goal in life as survival. Once you revisit that single, often oppressive belief; once your recognize it for the roadblock it is, you can start to dig your way out from under something that, if nothing else, is patently untrue.

Only then can you recognize opportunities to thrive instead of merely surviving. Only then can you start looking critically at your beliefs and jettison the ones which hold you back instead of opening up your world to possibilities, and most of all to compassion and understanding.

It isn’t an easy road. Many people and things will get in your way, making the old beliefs and ways seem like a safer road, and one where you’ll be better supported and accepted. The truth is, it’s anything but. By following the road of old beliefs, you stifle the part of yourself that wants to leave the cocoon, spread those beautiful wings you’ve kept folded for too long, and fly.

It might be a scary world outside the cocoon, but it’s also one filled with opportunities, new lessons, and unimaginable beauty. Remember, a rose is beautiful, but you have to get past the thorns, and in the process, you might have to go through some pain to get there.

Using Gratitude to Fuel Compassion

My gratitudes today are:

1. I’m grateful for the pain I’ve experienced as I shed old beliefs, and look forward to shedding as many as I can in the time I have left.
2. I’m grateful I’m able to pass on a slightly better legacy to my children and grandchildren.
3. I’m grateful for finally realizing I could shed my cocoon and truly live, even when doing so is pretty damned scary.
4. I’m grateful for the support I found when I stopped walling myself up behind old beliefs, lies, and coping mechanisms.
5. I’m grateful for abundance; inspiration, motivation, determination, friendship, love, joy, opportunities, dancing, movement, peace, health, balance, harmony, philanthropy, and prosperity.

Namaste

Sheri Conaway is a Holistic Ghostwriter, and an advocate for cats and mental health. Sheri believes in the Laws of Attraction, but only if you are a participant rather than just an observer. Her mission is to Make Vulnerable Beautiful and help entrepreneurs touch the souls of their readers and clients so they can increase their impact and their income.

If you’d like to have her write for you, please visit her Hire Me page for more information. You can also find her on Facebook as Sheri Levenstein-Conaway Author