Rip off the mask, tear down the walls. Show the world your beautiful self!

Posts tagged ‘HSP’

Empaths and Intentionally Attracting

Giving Myself Permission to Engage in Intentionally Attracting

One of my biggest challenges as an Empath has been learning to trust my feelings when I think someone is interested in me. I’ve had too many opportunities to lose my confidence in this regard. Too often, I’ve projected my own feelings on the situation and seen something that wasn’t there and taken clumsy action, only to walk away with egg on my face. Ultimately, I took things to the opposite extreme and denied the possibility that anyone would be attracted to me, even in friendship.

Though I’ve overcome the distrust of attraction on a friendship level, I’ve yet to learn to trust someone might find me attractive on a more intimate level. Yet it wasn’t until recently I recognized the armor I’d been wearing to keep from looking the fool.

Whereas I might find myself initially attracted to someone, usually after talking to them a while and finding we had an interest or two in coming (typically dancing or writing), but sometimes because they stood out from the crowd for some reason. My favorites are people who don’t fit the mold and thus, are something of an enigma. I simply can’t resist a good mystery!

Setting the Right Intentions

The trouble is, if I don’t get an immediate response or feeling from them there’s at least a modicum of mutual attraction, I tend to shut down and even block their energy for fear I’ll do or say something stupid and make a fool of myself. My knee-jerk reaction isn’t unfounded. I’ve made a fool of myself often enough when I thought I saw mutual interest where none existed. Unlike some of my friends, I’m not the type to walk up to a man and ask point-blank if there’s any spark. In some ways, I envy the ones who are able to, and can walk away with their head held high if the answer is no.

In recognizing this rather glaring defect in my character, I realized a couple of things. First that I’d love to meet someone who enjoys dancing as much as I do, and that a non-dancer was a show-stopper for me. Experience has proven I’m happier alone than with someone who doesn’t share my passion for dancing. Second, that I’ve unconsciously set an intention to attract a conscious Empath or HSP. I’ve specified “conscious” as someone who has neither recognized nor accepted their abilities will either be unaware of the attraction, or will, as I so often do, deny its existence and move on. I also have my parents’ examples of how destructive it is to be an unconscious Empath (or so I believe).

The realization of my subliminal intention came as a result of my thoughts about setting blocks. I realized doing so would, if there was actual interest, not go unnoticed by an Empath or HSP. Someone sensitive to the energies and emotions of others would immediately notice if someone who was previously open had blocked their emotions and energy.

Keeping Lines of Communication Open

In a perfect world, they might approach me and question the change, but the reality is most would let it go if they didn’t already know me well. I sure wouldn’t walk up to someone I’d never met or barely knew and ask why they were suddenly blocked. So why would I expect it of someone else?

I realized I’ve taken to shutting down too soon and failing to allow the person sending the signals I think I’m reading to come to their own realizations and conclusions. By shutting down before they’ve been afforded the time to do their own processing, I’m killing the seed before it has a chance to settle in and put out a root or two. If they are an unconscious Empath, staying open will likely result in avoidance anyway, as I saw not long ago.

The Voices in the Heads of the Unconsciously Empathic

I think unconscious Empaths recognize someone who sees more than they want to reveal. They’re self-protective mechanisms enable them to put up blocks or, at the very least, implement behavior which diverts attention away from the parts they don’t wish to share. I, myself am put off by someone who drinks excessively. They don’t end up hiding those feelings so much as overwhelming me with everything they’re carrying around. I’ll shy away and leave them alone just to avoid the overwhelm. The process is akin to hiding something in plain sight or a magician’s sleight of hand. Too much information, at least for an Empath is enough to mask what’s really going on, unless of course they’re willing to wade through the muck to get to the real issue.

Unless it’s someone I’m close to or already care about, I’m not likely to push past the wall of noise. Frankly, it’s too painful and disorienting to try. Though in at least one case, I wish I’d tried, even though I know in my heart I wasn’t meant to. None of us are truly meant to interfere with someone else’s life path. We can offer love and compassion, but they still have the choice to accept or reject it. If we see the walls and masks, we can only be there offering a hand. Their choice to turn away, or mask what’s going on is still in their own hands.

It reminds me of a question I recently saw on Facebook about draining yourself trying to heal others. In my mind, we can never heal anyone but ourselves. What we can do is to act as a facilitator for someone to find their own healing. Whether it’s helping them find the hidden wounds or offering an energy boost so they can work through a particularly tough time, we’re never more than an amplifier for what they already have, and quite often, far less.

Consciously Choosing Whether to Attract or Repel

Getting back to the original question, I realized blocking was a pointless and unnecessary effort unless of course my intention was to repel someone (and yes, there have been times!). Blocking everyone and everything was the me of 20 years ago. It was a lonely, sad existence and one I choose not to revisit. Instead, I must honor my more open, honest nature.

That doesn’t mean projecting all my emotions like some of those who use alcohol to mask the pain, while instead spewing every emotion they carry out into the world, thereby bombarding every Empath and HSP in the vicinity. It does mean continuing to allow the absolute joy I feel while on the dance floor to project outward and connect with the energy of those who either dance with me or enjoy the floor show without expectations or thoughts of reward.

I’ve taken the first steps towards attracting the right person; accepting I deserve them, and refusing to shut myself down. The rest is up to the Universe. And I’ve gone from believing I neither want nor need a companion to realizing I want the right companion and knowing I’ll settle for nothing less. For some, that might be a no-brainer. For me, it’s a gigantic leap of faith.

Gratitude, Gratitude, and More Gratitude

My gratitudes today are:

  1. I am grateful for the revelations and epiphanies I find in my Morning Pages.
  2. I am grateful for the lessons I’ve learned about the masks I used to wear. Just because it’s an old habit, doesn’t mean it’s what’s best for us.
  3. I am grateful for aha moments.
  4. I am grateful for my cats who’ve added dragging me out of bed in the morning to their job descriptions.
  5. I am grateful for abundance; ideas, intelligence, wisdom, epiphanies, connections, relationships, intentions, freedom, peace, love, health, prosperity, and philanthropy.

Love and Light

About the Author

Sheri Conaway is a writer, blogger, Virtual Assistant and advocate for cats. Sheri believes in the Laws of Attraction, but only if you are a participant rather than just an observer. She specializes in creating content that helps entrepreneurs touch the souls of their readers and clients so they can increase their impact and their income. If you’d like to have her write for you, please visit her Hire Me page for more information. You can also find her on Facebook Sheri Levenstein-Conaway Author

Support Your Local Empath’s, HSP’s, and Conscious Ones

Empaths, HSP’s and Conscious Ones Are Growing in Numbers, But Can’t Do It Alone

Consciousness On the RiseThis is a really tough time to be an Empath, HSA, or even simply Conscious. Emotions are extremely high and climbing higher every day, not only on the part of the more than 7.5 billion humans inhabiting the earth, but on the part of Mother Earth herself who is screaming in pain from all of the abuse inflicted upon her.

Being sensitive is a mixed blessing, to be sure. On the one hand, you know right away if you need to tread carefully around someone. On the other, you’re bombarded by a cacophony of emotions which often moves so quickly it’s impossible to gauge either source or mood. It’s enough to drive the average person mad. But Empaths, HSP’s (Highly Sensitive People) and those who are Conscious (have allowed their ego to take a back seat and just be in the moment) aren’t your average people. Under normal circumstances, they’d tighten whatever they use to protect themselves, be it a shield, love and light, or some other method, and get on with their day. Of course, they’d also find time to be alone, preferably in nature.

How to Help Conscious Ones

But these aren’t normal times. In fact, it’s becoming harder and harder to trust in love and compassion, yet can we do anything else? But to hold that sacred space of love and compassion, to see that those who act in hate and anger need it even more is both difficult and draining. The Empaths, HSP’s, and Conscious among us really need our support to keep doing their job right now.

There are many things we can do to help those people in our lives who are both gifted and cursed.

  • Give and receive a lot of hugs.
  • Read between the lines of what they say and share. Even a word acknowledging their struggle means more than they can say.
  • Meditate. The time you spend clearing space around yourself makes their jobs exponentially easier.
  • Show compassion towards the people around you. A small act of kindness creates endless ripples.
  • Remind them to make self-care a part of their daily routine.
Turmoil, Both Man-Made and Natural Can Be Debilitating

The events of the world can knock the stuffing out of HSP’s and Empaths. Every wild fire singes them. Every earthquake rattles their bones. Every hurricane blows their emotions asunder. And those are only the Earthly effects. Throw in human emotions and it’s like standing in front of a 200 mile-per-hour sand blaster of emotions. Though some feel these events only within a hundred miles or so, others can feel them world-wide. My daughter is one who can feel an earthquake from the other side of the world. Trust me, it isn’t pleasant to suddenly feel nauseous or dizzy for no apparent reason.

Empaths and HSP’s  try not to get involved in the chaos created by humanity, but do choose their battles. I read recently that Empaths are especially conscious of the lies and subterfuge surrounding politics. Many times, I’ve been criticized for withholding opinion or outrage. Even more often, I’ve recognized something in the political machine which others laugh off, only to see clearly weeks or months later when someone with more authority than I points out the same conclusion. We tend to see the bigger picture; the elephant in the room which everyone ignores while focusing on the smaller, more emotionally charged issues. That isn’t to say those smaller issues aren’t important, but they’re a very effective smokescreen. Smokescreens are rarely effective with Empaths. It’s as if they don’t even exist save for a bit of mist which clears easily for them.

Chaos in My Own World Brings Introspection and Lessons

The last couple of months have been especially hard for me, making me wonder, which came first, the chicken or the egg? The emotional upheaval I’ve felt while dealing with Toby’s pancreatitis, the ongoing but recently resolved plumbing issues, having the kids in and out of the house have all thrown my equilibrium out of whack. Yet I have to wonder if these things were symptoms or causes. Plumbing leaks can be interpreted as leaks within my own energy field. The leaks not only caused issues with the foundation of my home, but increased financial outlay while I used more water and gas than normal. Where else in my life is this occurring? Even Toby’s illness points to a misalignment in my self and my priorities.

I learned the hard way that Toby responds dramatically to my need for extra attention. When I focused on my own needs rather than his, I saw his health deteriorate further. When I did what I was supposed to and made it about him, he began to respond to treatment and regain his appetite. We still have days that are better than others, but the biggest hurdle, getting him to eat has been crossed. If it means cooking up chicken thighs and rice and pureeing them with bone broth once a week, it’s a small thing. It is also a way of focusing my energy on helping him regain his strength rather than on worrying. Isn’t cooking for someone the ultimate expression of love?

Even so, ongoing vertigo, dizziness, and nausea strike at the oddest moments. I’ve learned when they do, I need to stop and just be for a few minutes or even an hour. Sometimes I get images or guidance which help me manage what causes me discomfort, and sometimes I just take the time to recharge.

Opening the Doors to Greater Compassion

Allowing ourselves to just be without ego’s interference opens us up to all of the hurts in the world, whether on the part of the victim or the perpetrator because those who act against others are in pain themselves. The more we learn to see that, the more we become part of the healing process.

We must learn to exercise compassion without judgment. Think about that for a minute. When we read about someone shooting innocent people or driving a truck into a crowd, or any other act of violence, what is our first response? If you’re like so many, your first response is outrage towards the perpetrator, followed by compassion for the victims.

What if we turned it around a bit and sent some of that compassion to the perpetrator? Novel, I know. Yet, if we stop and realize we’re all broken in some way and trying to find our way back to wholeness we might see that the person who commits that heinous act is so much more broken than we can imagine. Hating them for their act won’t help heal their broken parts, but compassion and love will.

Life After Hate

While watching Samantha Bee the other night, I learned about a group called Life After Hate. They are a group of people who formerly belonged to hate groups such as White Supremacists and Neo-Nazis who are dedicated to healing the wounds of others like themselves through love and compassion. They know first-hand how people get sucked into a life of hate when things in their own lives are debilitatingly painful. Their mission statement really sums up what they do, why they do it, and how they can achieve the success they do.

OUR MISSION

LIFE AFTER HATE is dedicated to inspiring individuals to a place of compassion and forgiveness for everyone, including themselves.

Many can’t understand why I feel and espouse compassion for the murderers, haters, and worse. Yet, they are the most broken among us. They suffer from such lack of love in their life the only thing they know is to lash out and blame someone else. They’re especially susceptible to those who encourage them to hate, and to blame the blameless for their lack. They’re being led like cattle to slaughter because they are so susceptible, so willing, so eager to assuage their pain. The real evil is in the people who fan the fires of hate and encourage people to act as they wouldn’t if left to their own devices.

Recognize the Fear in Us All

Fear drives people more effectively than anything else. Those who seek to control do so by creating an illusion which instills great fear in people.

Those fears overwhelm the Conscious, Empaths, and HSP’s, making it harder to stand against the way they’re being used by the few to control the many.

Hate Begets Hate

Factions are condoning hate crimes, giving people justification for lashing out against groups of people like the Muslims. But who really supports and fans the flames of those factions? Hitler’s Germany is coming back to haunt us with its White Supremacy and Nazi-ism. Do we really need further proof that hate will never kill hate? If that were so, such things would have died and never risen again. Instead, they went underground or laid dormant until the environment was ripe for them to grow and thrive again.

Fighting them with their own tools means we will ultimately fail. Not only can they use those tools of hate better than we, they also expect to fight the battles according to their own rules. Only unexpected, loving, compassionate responses will truly bring them down. Because behind all the hate are people just like us.

If we cause a man who was involved in a hate rally to lose his job, we’re simply supporting his belief that his actions are justified; that the people he rallied against or harmed deserved it for ruining his life. We’re fueling his fervor to commit even worse acts against the people he’s marked as his nemesis because they’ve now stolen something else from him; his livelihood. In his anger, pain, and hate, he can’t and won’t see his own part in the job loss.

Fueling Love and Compassion

It’s up to the Empaths, the Light Workers and others to keep the flow of love and compassion alive and strong. You might ask if it’s worth the emotional and even physical cost. The truth is, the cost would be far higher if we failed  because we’re all connected. We feel each other’s pain, whether we’re aware of it or not.

Too many people are in a great deal of pain. Even less sensitive people are starting to feel, respond, and react, and in fact, become more sensitive themselves. The increased need is opening up pathways in people who may have had the ability but hadn’t yet recognized it. I’ve seen a number of people recently discover their own empathic abilities, and I know the numbers will continue to rise in response to the increasing need.

Groups of highly conscious people are so overwhelmed, they, too are starting to lash out at each other. That alone emphasizes the need for greater numbers to allow for a kind of rotating down time. Taking time for self-care is long past being a luxury. It’s become as necessary as food, water and sleep.

Oneness

I’m finding it increasingly difficult to differentiate where the emotions I feel are coming from. Are they my own or someone elses? Are they nearby or far away? Is it even human, or am I feeling the pain inflicted on animals, and the very Earth herself? The lines are blurring until everything seems to run together as one; because the truth is, it is all one!

I  find I’m having trouble separating myself, and my shields are too porous to handle the load. Yet I realize we need to allow some of it in, process it, fill it with love and compassion and send it back out. It’s our responsibility to help process out the negativity and hate and replace it with love and compassion.

What is your purpose? How can you help assuage the pain and heal the wounds to humanity? To the Earth?

Gratitude as a Tool for Strength

My gratitudes today are:

  1. I am grateful for the place I’ve been given in the changes which are coming.
  2. I am grateful for my guides and Higher Self who are doing their best to lead me in the direction I need to go.
  3. I am grateful for loving, compassionate friends who are also finding their purpose, their place in the grand scheme of things.
  4. I am grateful for the Oneness which is humanity, earth, animal, rock, and everything around us, both seen and unseen.
  5. I am grateful for abundance; compassion, love, kindness, unity, solidarity, empathy, Consciousness, health, peace, harmony, philanthropy, and prosperity.

Love and Light

You’ll find the corresponding Facebook Live here.

Sheri Conaway is a writer, blogger, Virtual Assistant and advocate for cats. She believes in the Laws of Attraction, but only if you are a participant rather than just an observer. She is available for article writing and ghost writing to help your website and the business it supports grow and thrive. She specializes in finding and expressing your authentic self. If you’d like to have her write for you, please visit her Hire Me page for more information.

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