Rip off the mask, tear down the walls. Show the world my beautiful, vulnerable self!

Posts tagged ‘experiences’

How Do You Re-focus When Intentions Go Awry?

Untangling Our Mixed Signals keep setting intentions to attract clients and money, and release weight but somehow I get my wires crossed. Lately it’s become a real struggle to avoid self-sabotaging by eating too late and snacking on the wrong things. Meanwhile, every time I attract more money, something happens and I attract more expenses as well. I’m stuck trying to figure out how to uncross my wires and get back on track in all area of my life.

It reminds me of a conversation I had years ago with someone who said: Every time I ask for abundance, I put on weight!

So how do we clarify our signals? How do we re-focus our intentions so the Universe (or whichever force you happen to look to for guidance) understands where we want the changes in our life to occur, and in which direction?

Those Negative Voices Again

I believe it comes down to the stories we tell ourselves without realizing it. Too many times, we’re telling ourselves we don’t deserve what we’re asking to find or attract. Every time we tell ourselves things like “you’re too fat”, or “you’re no expert. Others are smarter/better/more talented than you”, or simply “what makes you so special that you deserve this more than someone else?” we’re sending mixed messages to the Laws of Attraction.

Recently I was tasked to create 3 tips I could post various places on Social Media. I found every reason/excuse in the book to avoid the task. My coach finally asked me point-blank, Why are you really avoiding this?  Without thinking about it, I said: Because so many people in the audience (groups, pages, etc.) are smarter and better at this than I am.

She pointed out to me where I was unique and why I could honestly put myself out there as an expert. Not THE Expert, but an expert. The world I’m in is broad enough to allow many of us to be experts in our own area; our own niche. Mine happens to be both my age and experience with life, and my ability to write from someone else’s heartfelt voice. She said she’s worked with a number of copywriters, but none have been able to match her voice. Some came close, but no one really nailed it.

We’re Shaped by the Decades We’ve Lived Through, the World Events We’ve Experienced

Part of that is where they’re coming from. A 30-year-old will find it difficult to write from the point-of-view of a 60-year-old. It has nothing to do with their talent and skill. They simply haven’t seen some of the things the 60-year-old has seen in their lifetime. They haven’t lived in an era of dial phones, no computers, and actually being unreachable for hours a day because you couldn’t take a phone or even a pager with you. And they haven’t failed as many times, nor picked themselves up and reinvented the person they were to become as many times either.

That isn’t to say people of different ages and generations can’t relate on a deep level. But it does pose a challenge if you’re trying to write as if you were someone whose experiences with life are vastly different from your own. In order to do that, you have to be able to put yourself in their shoes, and if you lack key experiences, that’s a tall order.

Sending the Right Messages to Attract What You Desire returning to the topic at hand, how do you tell the Universe you want the numbers on the scale to go down while your bank balance goes up?

Once you’ve gotten the subconscious voices under control (and you have to constantly be on the alert, as they’re sneaky little devils), you can try being a little more specific, but leaving it open for a bigger improvement than you’re asking for.

For example, you might say: I want to add at least one $3000 client in the next two weeks, or better. Or I want to release 10 pounds in the next 30 days, or better.

In both cases, you’ve set a specific goal instead of something nebulous and you’ve left the door open for improvements on your request. Now the Laws of Attraction know exactly what you intend to increase, and what you intend to decrease. No confusion.

For me, I might also add: I would like the will power to avoid salty and sugary snacks. I also want to avoid eating after 7PM. For the attraction of money and clients, I could say: I want my expenses to decrease by 10% or better in order to keep the outflow from rising to match the new inflow. Again, specificity not only affects what you attract, but helps you keep your mindset in the green, so to speak.

Stopping the Negative Thoughts in Their Tracks negative thoughts aren’t going to stop flowing in. The trick is to catch them when they’re still a seedling and pluck them out before they’ve had a chance to establish a strong root system inside your head.

Not as easy as it sounds sometimes. I go to the gym 3 times a week, and while there, I see a lot of people of all ages who wear the spandex pants and sports bras and look great in them. I show up in a baggy men’s t-shirt and shorts that are now a size too big (that’s a good thing!), my hair yanked into a messy bun with a twisty, and a good deal rounder than they probably ever were. BUT, there are also people who are a good deal heavier than me, and who can barely lift 5 or 10 pound weights.

Because I’ve been consistent (yay me!) I’ve worked my way up to weights that even surprise me! I’m doing chest presses and flys with 32.5 pound free weights (though I’m about to increase that to 35), I use a 50 pound bar for tricep work. Six months ago, I was using a 20. And I’m doing leg work with weights I’d never have imagined would feel remotely comfortable back in February when I first started getting regular with my workouts.

Looking at How Far We’ve Come Instead of Comparing Ourselves to Others

The point is, I may not look as strong and healthy as some of the people at the gym, but I’m stronger than many, and look better than enough. Yet the real point is, I’m not them, and have no business comparing myself. Where I need to shift my focus is to how much I’ve accomplished, and ignore any outside stimuli. Whenever we allow ourselves to compare unfavorably with someone else, we let those voices out of the corral where they run amok. When they run amok, they scramble our message and cross our wires. That’s where what we truly want gets confused in the execution.

When it comes to physical fitness, look at how much more you can do than you could x number of months ago, or what size you’re wearing now vs. then. With your financial abundance, look at your earnings, or if that hasn’t manifested yet, look at how much you’re putting yourself out there or how many people are starting to ask you to connect, or something else that’s changed for the better as you’ve been working on bettering yourself.

In the end, it’s about celebrating your wins, and minimizing the time you spend thinking about your losses. As I’ve told my kids for years, take the lesson and leave the pain behind.

Show Gratitude for the Wins, Both Large and Small

My gratitudes today are:

  1. I am grateful for the progress I’ve made in all areas of my life.
  2. I am grateful for the free flow of words I get from a mere glimmer of an idea.
  3. I am grateful for being able to get up earlier these days.
  4. I am grateful for more productive days and less that leave me feeling guilty about what I haven’t done.
  5. I am grateful for abundance; high-ticket clients, increased strength (you should see me fling a 5-gallon bottle of water around like it weighs a lot less), a strong, unforgiving mentor, my supportive community, connection, growth, lessons, challenges, opportunities, joy, laughter, love, health, peace, harmony, philanthropy, and prosperity.

Love and Light


About the Author

Sheri Conaway is a writer, blogger, ghostwriter, and advocate for cats. Sheri believes in the Laws , of Attraction, but only if you are a participant rather than just an observer. Her mission is to Make Vulnerable Beautiful and help entrepreneurs touch the souls of their readers and clients so they can increase their impact and their income. If you’d like to have her write for you, please visit her Hire Me page for more information. You can also find her on Facebook Sheri Levenstein-Conaway Author or in her new group, Putting Your Whole Heart Forward.

January 15, 2015 Tarot Spells: Opinions are a Real Mixed Bag

I posted a question about Tarot Spells in a Tarot Professionals group and got more than I bargained for.

A week or so ago, just for grins, I performed two spells out of a book I have, called, coincidentally, “Tarot Spells”. One was “for help in drawing out creative abilities, gaining inspiration and fresh ideas” while the other was “to attract money and prosperity from expected and unexpected sources.” I won’t go into a lot of background about how I came to have this book or why I decided to actually use it, because that’s not the point of today’s post.

Having failed to recognize any results from my spells, and, instead, facing an unknown plumbing bill due to a sudden leak which filled my kitchen and garage with water, I posted a question in a Tarot group. Interestingly enough, I got a call from a former client shortly after I posted my query, and subsequently learned that the cause of the plumbing leak was fairly minor and relatively inexpensive. I’d also caught the problem soon after it began and was able to get the water turned off before major damage could occur.

But I digress. I figured my post would be one of those things people looked at in passing, then moved on. Nothing could have been further from the truth! Many opinions were offered from disparaging remarks about using someone else’s words to do a spell to a woman who took offense because I said her story reminded me of the one about the man and the cow, to some very insightful suggestions. All in all, it turned out to be a very interesting dialogue and I even learned a couple of things. I also learned that some folks just have very strong opinions about using spells or Tarot or both.

What do I think, you might ask.

For me, anything which is even remotely connected to one’s spirituality is quite individual. You have to trust your own heart to help you decide what does and does not make sense to you. My response to the man who felt I was wrong to use someone else’s words was that I wouldn’t have used them had they not felt right to me. I also pointed out that people have been using spells written by others for centuries. I guess some people believe they aren’t effective unless you write them yourself (which, on many occasions, I have).

What, then, did I learn from this experience?

I learned that there are probably at least as many opinions on how to express one’s spirituality as there are definitions of spirituality itself. I also learned that the best advice I could give would be to follow your own heart and trust your own instincts. Others may have an opinion, and that opinion does have value, but you must remember that it is based on their own experiences, and those experiences are not yours.

My gratitudes tonight are:
1. I am grateful that I’ve learned to listen to what others think but to ultimately trust myself.
2. I am grateful for spells which work, and the patience to allow them to do so in their own time.
3. I am grateful for a busy, productive week.
4. I am grateful for friends who stick together and support each other.
5. I am grateful for abundance; energy, friends, love, joy, fulfilling spirituality, harmony, peace, health and prosperity.

Blessed Be

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