Beware the Gremlins of Doubt. They’ll do their best to thwart you!
As I sift through the clutter of my life today, I realize that, on the one hand, I’m trying to formulate a plan for moving forward, while on the other, I’m wondering if I should throw in the towel and start looking for another (shudder) accounting job. Yet, despite the doubts, I have to admit to myself that I’ve made some progress, even if that progress is not of the kind which keeps the roof over my head and the vet and food bills paid for my furry and oh-so-supportive roommates.
Encouragement from friends to keep going are great, and I appreciate them, but they don’t see the mountain of debt or the dwindling funds which haunt me, not every day, but more often than I’d like. At my age, the image of a starving artist has long since ceased to be romantic.
Yet, I have to wonder if these doubts are simply part of the challenge; part of the question I ask myself every day; do I really have what it takes? Do I really think I can make a difference with my writing? And more importantly, if I can make a difference, how do I reach more than a couple of hundred people?
Making Decisions…er, Choices
One thing which has come to me during this period of soul searching which, as it happens, coincides with the beginning of the new year is that I need to stick to the theme of this blog as much as possible. I need to spend time seeking out leaps of faith; stories where people like me took risks and made them work despite the doubt gremlins and other assorted types designed to test the mettle of the leaper.
Meanwhile, I’m resuming work on the novel I began in November and keeping my eyes and mind open for other opportunities to write. Though I’ve offered it out there a few times in the last year, I need to be more assertive about it, and definitely get that website started. So here is my plan for my second year as a writer:
1. Keep writing
2. Aggressively seek out opportunities to share my writing in public places other than my own.
3. Get my website up and running.
4. Continue to learn about improving my blog and website traffic.
5. Ask for help when I get in over my head, or just don’t know which way to go next.
These may not seem like world shaking ideas, or even a solid plan, but it’s a start, just like everything else I’ve done has been. Some of those starts have fizzled out and that’s ok, as long as I keep looking for new starts, and keep those which seem to be yielding results of some sort going.
I look forward, this year, to both sharing my journey and learning about and from others who have given themselves a chance to live their dream.
My gratitudes today are:
1. I am grateful for reminders that perseverance is the key to success.
2. I am grateful for that little bit of remaining confidence that tells me I can make this work.
3. I am grateful for friends who, whether they realize it or not, really are helping me keep my flagging spirit alive.
4. I am grateful for the lessons I’ve learned and the ability to let go of things which are hindering rather than helping.
5. I am grateful for abundance; courage, tenacity, ingenuity, imagination, love, friendship, joy, health, harmony and prosperity.