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Archive for the ‘money’ Category

Breaking Blocks Impeding Our Success

Our Mental Blocks Can Be Broken

While writing my morning pages today, I thought about an exercise I did yesterday afternoon to try to release my money blocks. Immediately, I got a vision of a huge cinder block, one of many, really, which had been chained to me for as long as I could remember. In the vision, I saw the chains being removed and the blocks falling away.

It occurred to me that our blocks, money or otherwise, are equivalent to those cinder blocks because, in their own way, they weigh us down and prevent us from moving, not just forward, but in any direction. We are, in essence, held in place by the weight of the blocks we carry.

Getting in Touch With What Stands in Our Way

It was suggested I sit outside yesterday and just make a list of the blocks and beliefs which keep me from asking for compensation equivalent to the value I provide, to not just see the “bad” or “negative” aspects of those thoughts, but also how they’re doing me good as well. Three or four pages later, I had a list, but I had also started writing about why I can ask for fees which are on the same level as men I’ve come into contact with over the years who had similar skill levels and experience, but in some cases, a lot less talent than me. I realized when I thought about it that what they were charging 5 years ago for their services was as much as 5 times more than what I charge today! And do you know what? I couldn’t think of a single reasonable excuse for harboring such low expectations.

In fact, I didn’t even feel the usual “but you don’t have your CPA license” dogma come into the equation. Why? Because I’m not looking for clients who need audit or tax advice. I am providing business services either acquired through my years of experience working for various companies, or knowledge acquired through reading or talking to other people who have some knowledge I needed. Either way, I have as much or more justification for charging at least equivalent rates to the men who were contracted by previous employers to perform a task which, at the time, was outside my scope, or simply above and beyond my part in a project and not achievable even with the number of hours I had available.

The only differentiation here is that they were men, and were hired by men who had no qualms paying other men so much more than they would pay a woman. But it’s my fault as well, because I didn’t insist on being paid what I was truly worth. Over time, it was reflected in my work because I was less and less willing to go above and beyond with my efforts when my employers were unwilling to go above and beyond with my compensation the way they did with the men in the company’s employ, both as salaried employees and contractors. Yet the end result was displeasure with myself for lowering both my expectations and my deliverables.

Leaving Our Doormat Mentality Behind

Yes, in some ways, we woman are part of our own solution, but there are a lot of paradigms we have to shift in order to make that happen. In many ways, I believe that starts with ourselves. Once we convince ourselves and our female employers of our true value, and start achieving it, the flow can be broadened to encompass the more resistant males. They’ve grown accustomed to getting away with paying women less. Women have accepted less just so they could get a job. We’ve allowed men to “jew” us down, believing their lies that they can get the job done by anyone with our skills at half the price, or that this job is the best one we can get. Our shortsightedness makes us focus on the immediacy of making enough to feed, house, and clothe our families, instead of on the long-term implications of a job that allows us only to get by.

Years ago, I left a job because I was given the option of a demotion and cut in pay, or a lay off. I knew there had been a lot of collusion between management and my less-than-competent male co-worker for such a ridiculous offer to be made, so I chose the obvious response and took the layoff. Surprised at my decision, the manager said to me “But you need this job.”. I looked him square in the eye and said “I need a job. I don’t need this job.”

Taking Responsibility for Our Own Undervaluation

I laugh when I think about it because I took some skills they needed with me when I left, and for a couple of weeks, various members of their staff called me at home asking where things were. I finally had to threaten legal action if they didn’t stop calling and harassing me, as the calls had degenerated into accusations of misconduct and even theft. It was the first time I took the long view instead of the short one, and in fact, it was my former employer who failed to see they were being played by a man with the ethics of a junkyard dog. (In fact, he cooked the books for a law firm with somewhat shady business practices until the authorities clipped their wings, leaving him jobless.)

What I’ve always known, but clearly shoved to the back of my brain was that, as a woman, I have historically allowed men and frankly, other people as a whole to determine my value. I laid down and accepted their meager pittance of an assessment because the work I do doesn’t provide an obvious return on their investment. Of course, part of the problem is my lack of a certain body part too. For some reason, value to a company has a connection to something which typically has no true impact on the work being done!

I’ve been very good at making excuses for undervaluing my work. Whether it’s lack of a particular license or education, or failure to be visible to a market which would see the value in what I can offer, I have, for decades, stood in my own way. The worst part of it is, I know I’m not alone. Over the years, I’ve worked with many women who worked 10 times harder than men in equal or even higher level positions, yet were paid on average about 75% of what the men made to do the same job. We’ve accepted smaller raises and excuses which, had we known it, were not passed off to the men in the company. The truth is, we got the minuscule examples of recognition so the men, and all-too-often, the company owners could justify walking away with more.

Sure, it used to be that a woman’s income supplemented that brought in by the man of the house. But those days are long past. Women make up a huge percentage of primary wage-earners these days, and as such, struggle to give their families the same level of comfort as their male counterparts.

Destroying the Blocks Built On Our Lies

Before this turns into a full-on rant about wage equality, I’m going to try to return to my original train of thought, and that is the blocks we set for ourselves. Whether it’s money, visibility, or anything else we want to achieve, we get in our own ways too often by telling ourselves fat, ugly lies.

Lies like “I don’t deserve it”, or “other people are better at it than me”, or “I don’t have enough experience”, or the granddaddy of them all “I’m not worthy”. As you read those words, try to imagine them as giant cinder blocks. Now that you have the image, what’s stopping you from putting the damn things down? Where is it written that we’re supposed to carry cinder blocks around? They were meant for building, not dragging. They were also meant for knocking down when the structure they support no longer serves its original purpose, or has become weakened by age and environmental factors.

Now, picture a stack of those blocks with a giant wrecking ball crashing through them. As the ball connects with the blocks and bits of gray stone go flying in all directions, imagine the feeling of freedom you get when those blocks are neither standing in your way or needing to be dragged. They’re simply gone just as the energetic, emotional, mental ones can be if you give them a physical presence, but just long enough to feel the satisfaction of smashing them down, or better still, blowing them up like they do outdated hotels in Las Vegas. Plant the dynamite, and BOOM! A decades-old structure is reduced to a pile of rubble in a matter of moments.

The stories and lies you’ve been telling yourself deserve the same fate. Sure, it’s a simplistic approach, but maybe one or two can be leveled so you can get to the ones which are more pernicious.

When the Waiting is Over, Get Moving

Over and over, I’m reminded of a book I read last year by Sue Monk Kidd called “When the Heart Waits”. She refers, throughout the book to the idea of a caterpillar going into a cocoon where it waits for its body to reform, then emerges as a butterfly. The body of a caterpillar is limiting, but it’s a good place to grow and learn. Eventually, we all have to shed the confines of our learning self to come into our magnificence. There is no particular time limit on it. We all emerge from our cocoon in our own time.

In my case, it took me over 6 decades. I know it is exactly the right amount of time for me. I cannot measure my life by anyone else’s, nor do I any more. (Aside from the afore-mentioned monetary value for services. But even there, it’s not so much a measurement as a realization that I’d been measuring myself in inches rather than yards.)

There comes a time when each and every one of us have to take stock and make changes. Sadly, far too many wait until they’re on their death bed to do so. Fear will hold many back from emerging from the cocoon. Fear will drive others to leave because they don’t want to be stuck there for the rest of their lives. I am the latter. How abut you?

Reflections and Gratitude

My gratitudes today are:

  1. I am grateful for the people who are coming into my life to help me remove old, tired, out-dated blocks to emergence from my own cocoon.
  2. I am grateful for the ability to craft a blog post even when I start without a single viable idea.
  3. I am grateful for friends who are honest with me rather than trying to tell me what I want to hear. What I need to hear is far more valuable.
  4. I am grateful for the busyness which is characterizing 2018, even in the first month of the year. It bodes well for my many plans and adventures.
  5. I am grateful for abundance; words to write, ideas to flow, people to meet, opportunities becoming successes, acquaintances becoming friendships, hardships becoming lessons, encouragement, love, joy, challenges, health, harmony, peace, prosperity, generosity, and philanthropy.

Love and Light

Sheri Conaway is a writer, blogger, Virtual Assistant and advocate for cats. Sheri believes in the Laws of Attraction, but only if you are a participant rather than just an observer. She is available for article writing and ghost writing to help your website and the business it supports grow and thrive. Her specialties are finding and expressing your authentic self. If you’d like to have her write for you, please visit her Hire Me page for more information. You can also find her on Facebook Sheri Levenstein-Conaway Author

One Man’s Tool is Another’s Weapon

Tools: Using Them for the Good of All…or None?

Tools. What do you think of when you hear the word? A rake? A hammer? A shovel? Or perhaps something mechanical like a lawnmower or a washing machine?

The word can be applied to pretty much anything that helps us do things more simply, more quickly, more efficiently. How about computer software? Antibiotics. A pencil. A laser.

Any or all of these in the right hands can make our lives better, both on an individual level and a global one.

But in the wrong hands, tools can be altered or abused and used to do harm.

I know what you’re saying right now. How can a simple pencil cause harm? Have you never heard the old saying “the pen is mightier than the sword”? How many lives can be unalterably changed by words written and published which mis-state facts so convincingly as to turn nation against nation; brother against brother? Or on a smaller scale, who hasn’t at one time or another been hurt by someone’s thoughtless and uncaring words penned in anger or unwarranted hatred?

There have been times when garden implements were taken up as weapons when nothing else was available. Drugs can be altered, software can be hacked. And lasers can be used to kill as easily as they can be used to heal or create beauty.

Money: The Ultimate Tool or the Ultimate Weapon?

Do you know what else is nothing more than a tool? Money! That’s right, the almighty buck! Before there was money, people traded things for things. All money really did was simplify the process.

OK, not “all”. It also creates a gap between the “haves” and “have nots”. It makes people do awful things to get more of it. Some are even convinced that a certain amount of dollars (or euros, yen, Bitcoin, or whatever your currency) will make them happy. It also serves to emphasize our lack mentality.

And yet, it’s no more or less ridiculous than saying having enough hammers, or bicycles, or toothbrushes will make them happy! The only way any kind of tool will bring you happiness is by using it to accomplish something.

Accepting the Myth of Scarcity

Take a moment to think about that statement. As long as we believe there’s not enough of something to go around, we give it additional value as a scarce commodity, and it takes on a life of its own. With regard to money, we allow those pieces of paper and bits of metal to mean more to us than love, compassion, community. What began as a tool is now the master.

When we value a thing above our humanity, we give those who have more of that thing undeserved power. While some will continue to use their abundance to do good, there will always be a few whose intentions are, well, not so good.

Throughout history, we’ve had people who came into power, in part because they had more of something, typically money, than others. In too many cases, they were poisoned by that power. Their minds craved more, and when they got it, it was never enough. For some inexplicable reason, they felt they had to control everything and everyone around them. Inevitably, they and the world they’d built came crashing down around their feet.

Too Much of Anything Can be Deadly

Contrary to popular belief, it is possible to be too rich or too thin. Just as King Midas ultimately destroyed what he loved the most, those in our world whose main goal is acquiring more ultimately corrupt themselves and lose their most important possession—themselves. Unfortunately, in the process of acquiring stuff and killing off their own humanity, they take countless others with them.

Some of them are partners-in-crime, sacrificing their own humanity for what they don’t even realize is a fleeting moment of power. But most are victims; perhaps followers at first until they are sucked into the machinations of the aspiring gods, only to be chewed up and spat out when they are no longer useful. Too often, they drag their bruised and broken bodies back to where they came from, and look for someone else to blame for their ignorance and stupidity.

We see it time and time again, yet as a whole, humanity fails to learn from its most monumental mistakes. Whether it’s money, technology, land, or some other commodity, he who holds the most, also has the most to lose, and eventually does if they use what they have solely for personal power. But they never fall alone. They always take the masses with them, who may have had little to lose, but also nothing to gain. When the walls come crashing down, it is they who are left naked and exposed, easy prey for the next idiot with aspirations of grandeur.

Humans Got Us Into This, Our Divinity Can Get us Out

I’m enough of a dreamer that I still see a time when the veil of ignorance is lifted. A time when those who would misuse the tools mankind has created for their own personal gain are no longer able to gather followers as mindless as a flock of sheep who accept their lies and subterfuge as gospel. I believe there are enough people who use those tools for the good of all to arise and quell the ugliness of these inhuman humans.

But first, we have to find a way to overcome generations of ignorance and blind obedience which has sucked far too many people into the dark depths where thinking is discouraged and allowing emotions alone to separate truth from lies is the norm.

I truly wish I had a solution, as it seems pointless to continue staring at a blank wall without having some idea of how to get around it. The only thing I know for certain is that beating people over the heads with opposing viewpoints serves to make them grasp their misbegotten beliefs closer to their breasts.

Time to Stop Beating a Deaf Horse

Fighting something automatically generates resistance because change is, to many, terrifying. Pushing to convince someone that the sky is blue when they’ve been taught since birth it’s orange will have but one outcome: they will stop listening to anything you say on any subject.

Sure, I know what does NOT work to stop some from misusing the miraculous tools we’ve created, and others from following them blindly. I just haven’t found out what DOES work yet. With many minds working to find it, I can only have faith that the solution will ultimately be found, and the tools we’ve created will be returned to their rightful place, their rightful purpose. Only then will we stop being controlled by the tools and those who would misuse them for the sake of their own power.

Finding Gratitude in Everything We See, Say, and Do

My gratitudes today are:

  1. I am grateful I was taught to think with my brain while engaging my heart to keep me human.
  2. I am grateful for opposing viewpoints as they make me look more deeply at both sides of the equation.
  3. I am grateful for my faith in the humanity and divinity within us all. For some, it might be more deeply buried, but it’s there, if we can only free it from artificial, self-imposed bonds.
  4. I am grateful for the ability to write. It makes me think, and hopefully, allows others to do the same.
  5. I am grateful for abundance: love, friendship, knowledge, wisdom, guidance, opportunities, challenges, lessons, setbacks, successes, dreams, goals, problems and solutions, peace, harmony, health, philanthropy, and prosperity.

Love and Light

Sheri Conaway is a writer, blogger, Virtual Assistant and advocate for cats. Sheri believes in the Laws of Attraction, but only if you are a participant rather than just an observer. She is available for article writing and ghost writing to help your website and the business it supports grow and thrive. Her specialties are finding and expressing your authentic self. If you’d like to have her write for you, please visit her Hire Me page for more information. You can also find her on Facebook Sheri Levenstein-Conaway Author

Self-Sabotaging Money Story

When My Thoughts Bring My Brain to a Screeching Halt

This morning I was up early to take two of my boys in for their long-delayed checkups. I knew at least one of them would need dental work soon and wasn’t surprised when Dylan needed his work sooner rather than later.

As I handed over my credit card to pay the $521 bill for blood work and office visits for the two boys, I found myself thinking It’s only money. WHAT???

I realized I’ve been telling myself that almost every time a large expense came up. I was horrified by the thought that I’d resigned myself to my lack mentality! What a crock! After all the time I spend being grateful for having everything I need, to discover I’ve been undermining myself all along was quite a wake-up call.

How Our Conditioned Responses Kick Our Butts

The Laws of Attraction say the Universe will always respond to our requests and give us what we ask for. My dismissing money in this callous fashion is counteracting all of the times I express gratitude for being able to give my kitties and me the life I envision, and all of the charities I’ve been envisioning funding. Just 3 little words are turning all of my best intentions upside down.

It started me thinking, how many times I allow conditioned responses to crumble the inroads of progress I’ve made towards my goals; to dissolve my visualizations of my perfect life like a puff of smoke?

In Neurogym’s “Winning the game of {money/weight loss/fear/etc.}” series, one of the things they mention repeatedly in every single course is mindfulness. Whether it’s eating mindfully to lose weight or being mindful of the steps you’re taking and the signals you’re receiving to achieve your goals, it’s important to be aware of how you’re truly thinking about those goals. If you’re wishy washy about them, the likelihood of seeing them materialize is pretty much nil.

My errant but all-too-frequent thought I had today is clearly a huge part of what’s been holding me back and allowing me to make excuses for not accomplishing squat. So here’s what I’m doing to change my money story for the better.

Seeking Clarity by Asking Questions

I’m asking myself to answer the question: What is money?

Money is:

  • A tool
  • A means of exchanging one product or service for another
  • A way to value something I have to offer
  • A universally recognized thing which allows us to help others by giving them something they can then exchange for something they need
  • An arbitrary unit of measure
  • In and of itself, neither good nor evil
  • Used by some to differentiate between the haves and have nots
  • A way to convert my visualizations and effort into the tangible realization of my dreams

I’m sure you can add a dozen or so more definitions to my list because we all see it as something a little different, just as we value its possession in different manners. But there is really no question that it can be useful to have more of it than less, right?

Stop the Self-Sabotaging Behavior With a Well-placed Pivot

I read a blog post today which reminded me of the concept of “pivoting” which I first read about in “Laws of Attraction”. It is the perfect example of what I realized was needed when I noticed the direction my thoughts were taking. I realized that when I find myself thinking It’s only money, what I need to switch my thoughts to is something like: I’m so grateful I have enough money to give my animals the very best possible care. or I’m so grateful I have enough money to support Cat House on the Kings and Fixnation in their efforts to improve the lives of our feline population.

Then, I firmly affix that beautiful visual of my private peninsula overlooking the ocean where I rescue cats, grow fruits and vegetables to share, and have a couple of secluded cabins for my artist friends to use when they need to get away and work on their craft.

Sure, it might “only” be money, but it is the means to achieve my dreams. It is the validation for giving up the corporate world and pounding away at my keyboard for hours at a time. It is the reward for stepping so far outside my comfort zone that trying to look back makes me dizzy. And it is what gives me the freedom to work my own hours and make my own rules; to work from home or a cabana on some tropical island or a hotel room high above Sedona.

Giving Myself the Necessary Re-set

In short, to me, money is freedom. And there’s no “only” in freedom.

What’s your money story? Is it serving you or thwarting you? What can you do to ensure that it takes you where you want and deserve to go? Please share your thoughts and experiences. We can all benefit from what you’ve learned in your spins around the sun.

Gratitude: The Ultimate Attractor

  1. I am grateful for the lessons I’ve learned and the way they show up when I need them.
  2. I am grateful for the words of others which often clarify what I’m trying to sort out.
  3. I am grateful for money and all of the things it can do for me and the things and people I care about.
  4. I am grateful for my new money story.
  5. I am grateful for abundance; knowledge, lessons, money, friends, mentors, coaches, wisdom, sustainability, goals, dreams, visualizations, peace, harmony, philanthropy, and prosperity.

Blessed Be

I invite you to visit my Facebook pages, Sheri Levenstein-Conaway Author and HLWT Accounting. Please also drop by my website, www.shericonaway.com and check out my Hire Me Page. I’ve created these pages as a means of positive affirmation and would be very grateful if you’d “like” them or leave a comment! Thank you!

Picture courtesy of Pictures of Money via Flickr

A Control Freak’s Guide to Stress Management

The Body Can Always be Trusted to Tell You When You’re Holding on too Tight

For the last couple of years (in fact, since I quit my job) I’ve been proudly proclaiming that I have no stress. But the last week or so has shown me the emptiness of my words.

It started on Saturday when I felt the beginnings of a migraine while attending the San Diego County Fair with my daughter. No problem, I found a bale of hay in a shady spot, closed my eyes and relaxed until my vision returned to normal. As it had been awhile since I’d experienced migraine symptoms, I didn’t think much of it.

Back home, I again experienced the vision squirreliness of an impending migraine on Wednesday and took the usual precautions. It was then I decided I really didn’t want to go through the aggravation of going dancing on Thursday as it entails getting ready and to the door of the club about 30 minutes early just to get a decent table these days. In the end, it worked out well because I enjoyed a 4 hour phone marathon with an old friend. I also got the veggies for my stir-fry chopped while we were talking and had I gone dancing, I wouldn’t have had time to cook and freeze a huge batch of stir-fry.

Personal Health is Thwarted by Complacency

I arrive at Friday feeling pretty good about the week’s accomplishments aside from writing, so I buckle down and write the draft of an article which is a bit overdue. Not long after the article is written, the telltale signs appear again and I’m back on the couch, letting myself go limp while the kitties find their favorite snuggly spots. This time, I’m not bouncing back so quickly and my daughter can hear it in my voice when she calls, though it sounds like distraction to her until I explain.

A couple of hours later, I’m feeling woozy again, and by 10:30, I have to cut a support call with AT&T short because the vision loss swoops in like a hungry raptor.

10 hours later, I’m finally convincing myself to detach from the warm cocoon of blankets and cats to start my day. I stretch and acknowledge the tension in my neck and shoulders and admit it’s not entirely due to activities over the last week or so. Yes, I carried a backpack with a camelback of water around the fair for 2 days. Yes, I made a massive vat of stir-fry which had me waking the next day with a bit of pain in my right shoulder. Admittedly, I’ve been less than diligent about exercising otherwise. But still…

Self-honesty is a Slippery Slope

In the end, I decided I need to be completely honest with myself and admit to having more than a little stress in my life. Even more important, I have to address and acknowledge the stressful situations. I don’t necessarily need to solve them immediately, but I need to at least acknowledge that they’re concerning me. So, here goes.

Stresser #1: Money (something many can relate to). I have not yet been successful in monetizing my writing to any great degree and the same is true of my accounting and virtual business consulting. I’ve also gone through a frighteningly large amount of my reserves including all of my IRA and am getting ready to contact the 401(k) administrator. I cannot even begin to admit how much this terrifies me.
Stresser #2: Considering going back into the job market. Every time I even think about this, my gut clenches. I’m so much more comfortable dealing with people when I want to rather than when I have to. Also, I know that should I choose this route, I’m very likely going to have to settle for a lot less than I’m used to making and it may be a long haul to find someone, aside from a temp job, to hire a person my age.
Stresser #3: The health and well-being of my animals and being able to take all of my cats into the vet for their annual checkups. I have put this off because of #1, and it puts me on edge not having proof that everyone is completely healthy.
Stresser #4: Finishing my 3 novels. I have been close to finished with the latest edit on Sasha’s Journey for months, and just need to get it done! A Dubious Gift hasn’t been touched since I wrote it and Hannah’s Chair isn’t even finished.
Stresser #5: Marketing. I am trying to learn how this is done, yet still get a depressingly low amount of traffic to my website and blog. Without it, publishing any of my books will result in less than stellar sales, no matter how wonderful I manage to make them.
Stresser #6: Writing for free: I have been attending a lot of events on press passes in exchange for writing articles. Although I’m enjoying the events, it’s getting harder to motivate myself to write articles which may or may not get many viewers and which yield me nothing to help support myself. In fact, events like the fair cost me money in food alone which set me back rather than forward.
Stresser #7: Getting enough exercise. I’m falling behind on what I need to do to maintain my physical health.

It Ain’t Over ’til You Let it Go

I had to stop writing at this point because I got another migraine warning. I used the time to innercise and meditate with the help of Dylan and Munchkin’s snuggles. Afterwards, realizing I hadn’t eaten in at least 14 hours, I made a quick protein shake (hunger is non-existent at the moment). The break helped me realize I need to look at these stressers rather than continuing to add to the list, without judging or emotionalizing. I need to thank each one for the opportunities and lessons it gives me, then let them go. I’m the first one to talk about trusting both the Universe, and my own inner guides and guidance to find a solution, yet, clearly I’ve been trying to control things instead.

We of the controlling personalities have a difficult time letting go of outcomes and allowing the things we’ve put in place to germinate before showing measurable results. It’s only when something happens to force us to release our stranglehold that we begin to allow the flow to proceed unrestricted.

For some, that release occurs when all of their well-intentioned plans fall apart or break into little, tiny, unrecoverable pieces. For me, a series of migraines usually alerts me to the fact ad2d5-thetowerthat I’m holding on too tightly: to outcome, to control, even to outdated ideas. I usually take it to mean I just need a break or something but this time, I feel the problem has been too many breaks and too little productivity. Still, some time in nature could be well worth the time spent or in the words of one of my favorite country singers, Brad Paisley, it’s “time well wasted”.

Recognizing Opportunities When They Present Themselves aka Synchronicity

An opportunity was presented to me today, and I don’t think the timing was a coincidence. One of my fellow freelancers started a group for beta reading each others’ work including articles and blog posts. My plan right now is to clean up my latest article and submit it to them for critique. I can always use another set of eyes.

Funny, just typing those words, admitting I can ask for help relaxed some of the tension in my shoulders and neck. Clearly, what I need right now and am asking for in a couple of different ways is simply the help of other humans; the connection, the camaraderie, the humanness I usually avoid. In fact, the one thing which has me reluctant to go dancing at my usual place. Although I understand the owner’s abrupt change from appreciation for his patrons to pursuit of money, I can’t help feeling a bit resentful of the sudden change. It has affected my actions and my previous love for the place, but worse, it seems to have isolated me from the rest of the people there. All too often, I occupy a table alone and am rejected when I invite others to join me. Whether I want to or not, I’m exuding vibes which are uncomfortable to happy, positive people who are relaxing from their daily work life. Perhaps part of it is that I don’t share that day-to-day grind from which I need to escape.

In the end, I have two choices, and this goes for everything in this article: either I change my attitude or I make some sweeping changes in my lifestyle, behavior and direction. What those choices will be remains to be seen but for now, the one change I’m making is to stop trying to force myself and my life into a self-defined, compartmentalized direction. Not an easy task for a control freak like me!

There Will Always Be Gratitude

My gratitudes today are:
1. I am grateful for the reminders I get, even when they’re painful and even debilitating.
2. I am grateful for lessons I’ve learned about removing judgement and emotion from my feelings.
3. I am grateful to at least acknowledge that I need to release negative money stories, even if the means is not yet clear.
4. I am grateful for the online communities of which I’m a part, but also for knowing that I need a more personal connection with people as well.
5. I am grateful for abundance: support, vision, awareness, intelligence, wisdom, creativity, friendship, change, guidance, motivation, inspiration, honesty, clarity, love, peace, harmony, friendship, health, philanthropy and prosperity.

Blessed Be

I invite you to visit my Facebook pages, Sheri Levenstein-Conaway Author and HLWT Accounting. Please also drop by my website, www.shericonaway.com and check out my Hire Me Page. I’ve created these pages as a means of positive affirmation and would be very grateful if you’d “like” them or leave a comment! Thank you!

June 2, 2015 There Are Days When I Wish I Could Find the Backspace Key

You’d Really Think I’d Know Better by Now

Today I let myself get sucked into watching another of those free 90 minute webinars (although this one droned on and ended up lasting over 2 hours!) knowing full well that somewhere during the time I was wasting there would be a sales pitch for more of the same, only better, for the meager sum of $297…$397…$497… I guess there’s a psychological logic to the ’97’ part as if our brain says Well, I’m not really spending $300…$400…$500 so it must be ok. These folks were more clever than most though. They provided some useful information for the second 60 minutes or so (the first 30 was spent talking about how wonderful their life is, which also seems to be de rigeur lately) before rather subtly, though with the use of a logo which blended into the color of the screen (a bit reminiscent of the subliminal effects in Exorcist where they inserted things into less frames than the human eye needs to transmit the image to the brain) launching into the expected sales pitch.

This same entity wants me to participate in an 8 hour long event on Thursday (do people really give up an entire day after today’s less-than-exciting experience?) using a free iPad with their meditations pre-loaded as the carrot, but only if you stick it out for the full 8 hours and only one! Sorry, but the smart money wouldn’t have even participated in today’s technically bankrupt example of their wares, much less sit through their droning for 8 full hours. OK, so I wasn’t the smart money today, and yes, I should know better by now.

To add insult to injury, I found myself, earlier this evening, slipping into my pity party dress and gearing up for a full on whine fest. I thought I’d yanked myself away before it was too late until I found myself in front of the TV with a container of guacamole and a bag of chips (granted, it was the greek yogurt guac from Trader Joe’s and their veggie/flaxseed chips, but still not the best dinner) and followed it up with almost half a carton of Salted Caramel Gelatto. Clearly, the pity party had to run its course, whether I liked it or not.

Losing Sight of What’s Important

The culprits in this drama are many but the responsible party is only me. I’ve been chasing the almighty buck, unsuccessfully, I might add, because the sight of my dwindling funds was starting to frighten me. In so doing, I’d lost sight of what I discovered when I gave up the copywriting course. I have to love what I’m doing, and do it for the right reasons before I’ll start meeting my needs. When I make it all about money, the Universe can and will kick my butt and be as unsupportive as possible until I get myself back on track.

Thankfully, my trusty cheerleader and butt kicker put it all back into perspective for me today. It’s not enough that I’ve finished the first draft of two novels, the first revision on one of them and have started revising my children’s book. No, I need to actually finish something and go through the process of publishing it. Thus, my agenda will now consist of editing and revising, working on Holly Lisle’s writing course which somehow got shoved to the side, studying the books I have on writing, plot development and such and putting the blogging for money on hold…for now.

I will, however, take time to be more supportive of the bloggers I’m following as that can be helpful on many levels, especially since many of them are writers too, some of whom have already been published at least once.

By the Light of the Gemini Moon

The full moon in my own birth sign is the perfect time to, once again, ask for help in releasing all which doesn’t serve me. The most important thing I need to release is limiting behavior and limiting beliefs. But I also need to let go of all things procrastination, and all things which keep me from my regular workouts. My list of priorities (in no particular order) is as follows:

Body: Get to the gym at least three times a week, dance at least twice, and move frequently in between times. Also, start eating the pre-made meals in my freezer and intersperse it with smoothies made with the fresh veggies and fruits I’m getting.
Mind: Write, edit, revise and study.
Spirit: Meditate regularly, go out in nature, spend time with my cats.

I’ve also added two new stickies to my growing collection: “I am Empowered” and “I receive everything I need to move ahead with creativity and inspiration”. With the help of my stickies, my friendly butt-kicker and my own preference for positivity, I will climb out of the abyss, leave the whining behind and actually become productive again. This whiny, pathetic, self-pitying person is no longer me, and I will not allow her to creep back into my life and ruin all I’ve worked so hard to achieve. So this is me, drop kicking old Negative Nellie to the curb! Let the work of being an author begin!

My gratitudes tonight are:
1. I am grateful for friends who tell me what I need to hear instead of what they think I want to hear.
2. I am grateful for a day of wallowing because it shows me a place I never want to return to.
3. I am grateful for additions to my book collection which will serve me well in the coming weeks.
4. I am grateful for ambition which, though it sometimes takes a beating, is still down there, crying to be recognized and fed.
5. I am grateful for abundance: drive, determination, purpose, love, joy, happiness, peace, harmony, health, prosperity and philanthropy.

Blessed Be

I hope you’ll take a moment to visit my Facebook pages at https://www.facebook.com/SheriLevensteinConawayAuthor?ref=aymt_homepage_panel and https://www.facebook.com/HLWTAccounting . Please also drop by my website, http://www.shericonaway.com and check out my Hire Me Page. I’ve created these pages as a means of positive affirmation and would be very grateful if you’d “like” them or leave a comment! Thank you!

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