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August 6, 2014 Knee jerk reactions: Can we control them?

Can it be undone?  August 6, 2014 Knee jerk reactions: Can we control them?.

August 6, 2014 Knee jerk reactions: Can we control them?

It wasn’t my fault! The doctor made me do it!

Remember going to the doctor and having him whack you on the knee with that little, rubber hammer? If you had normal reflexes, your leg would kick out, seemingly of it’s own volition. It was, for all intents and purposes, an uncontrolled response. In medical terms, they call this something technical involving the patella and other medical-y terms, but we’ve come to know it as the “knee-jerk reaction”.

Knee-jerk reactions: not just for doctors any more!

The term, “knee-jerk reaction” has come into common parlance to describe behavior which is rooted in an event which resulted in an emotional response, and which when faced with a similar situation, even years later, elicits the same unthinking, purely emotional response. So what do we as reasonable, thinking adults do about it?

Out, damned spot! Out, I say!

It would be nice if we could just affirm that we would no longer elicit that reaction, regardless of the provocation, but sadly, it’s not that simple. Knee-jerk reactions are deeply rooted in events which caused us a great deal of emotional distress. As a result, they’re pretty well cemented into our psyche until we find a way to release the trauma induced upon us by the initial event. {You analytical types are going to love this part!}

To clear your palate, if you will, of this distasteful, and usually destructive behavior pattern, you have to jump into your wayback machine and go back to when the particular knee-jerk reaction began. Look at what was happening, how you were feeling, other mitigating factors, and anything else that might have caused you to react without thinking. Look at every thread and analyze how it attaches to the emotional reaction you want to clear. One by one, with the precision of a surgeon, each condition must be detached from the emotion. Each stress factor must lose its connection with the emotion that caused the reaction. Then, and only then, can you begin to train yourself to think before acting when faced with any combination of the original factors.

I’m a strong, intelligent adult! Of course I can train myself to think before acting!

Good luck with that. Many have tried, but the truth is, we are emotional beings, not robots. No matter how intellectually gifted a person might be, when faced with stress factors on top of those nasty emotions like anger, frustration, hurt and others which lead to painful outbursts, they will, at least on occasion, react without thinking. Sorry folks, but it’s in our DNA. And speaking from one who’s been there all too often, those emotional outbursts do not end well, and never help you make your case!

Sure, you could remove all stress from your life so you’re never driven over the edge by something stupid, but really, do you want to live your life encased in bubble wrap? Life is messy. Get used to it. Things don’t always work the way we want them to. Learn from your failures. And emotions aren’t always a bad thing; but you can’t have the good without the bad. It’s called “balance”.

So pick a knee-jerk reaction, any knee-jerk reaction, and begin the process of analyzing and severing the emotional ties. Help make the world a more agreeable place!

My gratitudes tonight are:
1. I am grateful that I’m finally learning to listen to the quieter signals my body has been eliciting.
2. I am grateful for a doctor who isn’t going to just push a pill at me and send me on my way.
3. I am grateful for peeks into what makes me tick, and the ability to make changes, ever so slowly, if necessary.
4. I am grateful for new connections who bring me new lessons.
5. I am grateful for abundance, available to all, simply for the asking: love, joy, health, harmony, peace and health.


August 5, 2014 A mundane post for a mundane kind of day

Errands and chores and bills, Oh, my!

We all have those days. You know the kind. When we have to use most of our waking hours doing things which are necessary rather than things which are pleasurable. In my case, it means running errands, paying bills, doing chores I’ve put off for too long…all of that fun stuff; when what I’d rather be doing is playing with my Tarot cards or researching a blog topic or working on my book.

I did allow myself a bit of pleasure, though, and sprang for a very nice foot massage. My poor feet have been called upon to work overtime more often than not these days, between trips to the County Fair, visits with my daughter and errands, errands, errands! So I decided to give them a treat…and then make them run those errands! Aside from the small treat, I promised everyone that I would get up early tomorrow, get my neglected workout in and get some of the fun stuff done afterwards.

Needless to say, I have not yet gotten the information together for the knee jerk post, so I fear, dear readers, that you’ll have to give me another day or so to come through on my promise. In the meantime, I’ll just ramble a bit about the juggling act we all do (some, more than others) with the things we must do vs. the things we want to do!

Back in the days when I had a day job which required me to show my face at an office five days a week, that was the biggest item on my “must do” list. Since I took leave of that particular rat race, though, I’ve created one of my own design which works…sometimes. I have to stay on my single employee to stay focused and refrain from wasting entire days lollygagging and frittering. Which is why I allow said employee a day here and there which is earmarked precisely for lollygagging and frittering. I’ve learned that if I keep my employee happy, the productive days can be amazing. Admittedly, I haven’t seen one of those amazing days in a couple of weeks, but I know it’s coming!

Sometimes, it just takes knocking a few things off of the To Do list to shake the cobwebs loose and get the creative juices flowing. So, with a little bit of butt kicking, I made that day today so that the next few days will see me finishing the last few pages of my book. I’ve given myself a deadline, you see, because I’ll be spending some more time at my daughter’s house since she keeps tempting me with inexpensive concert tickets. At this point, she’ll be luring me down to visit my grand furries in about a week and a half and again, in early September. Sneaky kid! She knows how much I hate to be away from home for very long! I’m beginning to think she’s trying to reprogram me so I’ll be willing to take a longer trip with her one of these days!

Ah, but the little voice in my head reminds me: “Change is good for the soul. Besides, the more places you go, the more story ideas you might find!” I just hate when those darned voices make perfect sense, don’t you?

But errands are run and chores are done, so tomorrow, dear readers, I can do the research necessary to produce an interesting and intriguing post on knee jerk behavior. Stay tuned!

My gratitudes tonight are:
1. I am grateful that I can mark lots of things off of my To Do list.
2. I am grateful to be able to clear my plate of mundane matters, leaving room for the fun ones.
3. I am grateful for change as it adds new dimension to both my life and my writing.
4. I am grateful for outside influences which are making me think even further outside of the box.
5. I am grateful for abundance which is available to everyone, just for the asking: Joy, Love, Happiness, Harmony, Peace, Health and Prosperity.


August 4, 2014 Letting down my hair

A hairy topic…and what’s ahead.  August 4, 2014 Letting down my hair.

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