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Archive for the ‘heart’ Category

Happy Dates When Our Hearts Lead the Way

Switching My Attention to Happy Dates

It’s a funny thing about January 25th. It’s my ex-husband’s birthday, and also the day I found out I was having twins—31 years ago <gasp!>.

In previous posts I’ve written about how dates bring back memories, but most of the time, I write about the sad ones. In truth, if we put our minds to it, we have far more dates we associate with happy memories than sad ones. The sad ones just have a tendency to leap into our brains faster, maybe because the feelings they elicit are somehow more intense.

It could also mean we aren’t done healing from the trauma, tragedy, or letdown seeing the date on the calendar each year elicits. Like the lessons we need to learn (like patience for me), things we need to heal come back to haunt us over and over until we do the work we need to and release ourselves from pain.

Telling Our Brain to Back Off And Let Our Heart Lead

Admittedly, our brains like pain because it means we stagnate, avoiding change and crawling https://www.flickr.com/photos/jobber1/36197048070/in/photolist-X9BkiG-6zNVTx-9WcJ3G-dSakbx-dSammr-9TBa8u-6ezpVp-4BqdWY-VXtGBZ-rmenXX-qCVBCH-ebSPFY-on6uCz-7jht6-n98ro-VTXW6M-a1XWoX-aEZ3ZC-GAd7om-aETqXe-5YRvvk-dSfWbY-KEWxyD-7N2mv7-s8WVRA-97x2ND-9FZG7n-kv3uih-7dAKBM-Usjf3C-emcpAz-3EXMtA-U3SSPP-gQb96B-6QtXTY-o36uJj-iwvCcv-54dBjc-opbQb3-7NxyBo-7G7U6q-cS6eML-9FXQcH-ojrwjj-SUbPcQ-7MNAUc-Ee2qD-jZRnbY-a355px-cS691Nback into our status quo cave. But when we listen to our ‘fraidy cat brain, I think our gentle heart breaks a little more each time we deny ourselves the pleasure of a little adventure; a little change. Sure, our hearts break when we try new things that don’t work out, but it’s a resilient sort, and knits itself back together each time, especially if we give it something new to focus on.

I’m not making this stuff up. Believe me, I’ve lived both ways, and I much prefer the bumps and bruises I’ve gathered on my adventures to the sad, lonely years I spent huddled in my hidy hole, afraid to venture out for fear of pain, ridicule, or humiliation. In fact, I’ve learned that being my own weird self is actually something people want to see!

Perfection is a Poor Disguise

Nobody out there is perfect, so seeing perfection in others is intimidating and off-putting. I don’t know about you, but I find it difficult to relate to someone who appears to have no flaws or weaknesses. The woman who shows up at the office immaculately groomed every day, and wouldn’t even flinch if you squirted ketchup all over her pristine, white blouse is probably a tumultuous mess inside.

That guy who always has the right answer and is organized to a fault probably has panic attacks when something is even a teensy bit out of place. He searches for controllable structure in a world which is unwilling to cooperate, so he spends his life waiting to pounce on the next nonconformity. He hides himself away, studying every possibility so he’ll be ready with an answer before the question is asked while life passes him by.

Taking the Lessons and Leaving the Pain Behind

Many people focus on the unhappy times, revisiting them over and over trying to figure out how they could have changed the outcome. It’s over folks. It happened, and you can’t change the past. Dwelling on it only screws up your future. Letting it go allows you to move forward with a clean slate, perhaps a little the worse for wear, but you’ve learned where some of the perils and pitfalls lurk in the process.

Bruises heal, clothes and bodies wash. So what if we end up rolling in the mud once in awhile. Who knows? You might just like it!

Go Ahead, Live the Adventure

https://www.flickr.com/photos/gcaspers/3674508861/in/photolist-6AGPt4-9XPdGp-9AfZYv-asnfWg-2j1go4-7UukPU-a2XVdU-NqoUQ-dbkFUe-a2XRDb-6nnHrK-9EBf9b-9xemFj-cucYQS-cud1JC-cucV5Q-cucW5f-9GVbUK-9XS6cJ-53kCM9-8dXRc-ctMcPj-crXsXw-cutJfu-a3bJ56-9XS6GA-aspUtj-a3bRmp-rjDGsd-cudgUJ-9xeGYS-ctNGF1-cutroo-crYSB9-a2UPPe-crYbPw-6ZUrTn-cutJYm-jCRHS-cutQqA-csxxsh-sabp4u-aspXws-a3fFX5-cutPDh-dmd5Ze-asnkuX-cykHmj-9xAUFm-cutrGUTo be honest, I’m probably one of the least adventurous of my friends. One man in his 70’s still takes off on his motorcycle every week just for fun. He plans trips to Europe with friends where they ride all over the countryside, and he’s not looking to stop his adventures any time soon.

Another friend moved to North Dakota after her divorce and lived in a trailer without power for a couple of months, alone in the middle of nowhere. She followed Cavalia to Arizona when it’s California run ended. These days, she divides her time between cleaning pools and working with horses, with a little dancing thrown in for good measure. Unlike me, she dates now and then, not afraid to give someone a chance. In contrast, I either go on the defensive or am utterly oblivious; mostly the latter.

What these two have in common is they follow their hearts and don’t think about potential consequences or pitfalls. They’ve fallen and picked themselves up enough times, they don’t worry about it. They take one day at a time, and when life gives them rocks and mudslides, they find their footing and chuck the rocks back. They pile up the happy memories so those come to the forefront rather than the sad ones.

My Pushme-Pullyou Lifestyle

I’ve embraced adventure and taken some leaps of faith in the last few years, though I’m still retreating too often. It takes me a little longer to get up when I fall, yet I always do.

It’s funny, because as I look back on my life, I realize I’ve always lived it believing when things go wrong, it leaves me free for something better. Yet a lot of the wrongness in my life has been because I let someone else dictate the direction. So when they dumped me on my butt, it was a blessing in disguise to stop having to follow their lead. Even so, for years, I continued to put my fate in other peoples’ hands, never leaving until I was shoved, never learning to trust myself instead—until about 5 years ago.

I won’t say my road has been smooth, and I’ve given up a lot of things in the process. But nothing I’ve given up really matters in the general scheme of things, and some needed to go. But until now, I didn’t know how to do without them; didn’t believe I could. Now, I have trouble remembering why some of them were important in the first place except they supported an image that was never really me in the first place, or brought some relief from the stress and strain of turning myself into a pretzel so people would like and accept me.

Fitting In By Being You

You could say the leap of faith that left me intentionally jobless has taught me a lot of the things I did to fit in were never necessary, and were in fact, a waste of my time and effort. The real me, t-shirt and shorts, messy bun, bare feet, natural nails, and no makeup is a happier, healthier version of the woman who turned herself inside out to please the unplease-able, fit in with those who had no intention of accepting her, and worked overtime for those who were never grateful and only expected more.

Sometimes the adventure of a lifetime is getting up the nerve to be yourself and damn the consequences. For me, that happened on December 6, 2013 when I left the Corporate world forever. Suddenly, I fit just fine! Is it any wonder I look back less and less every day? What masks and ill-fitting characters have you shed lately? Is it time to do some more house cleaning?

Grateful Every Single Day For Things Large and Small

My gratitudes today are:

  1. I am grateful I’ve learned to listen more to my heart than my head.
  2. I am grateful for new adventures awaiting me around the next bend.
  3. I am grateful for the people in my life who love me as I am, messy, chaotic, clumsy, or brilliant. It’s all part of the unique individual I’m finally allowing myself to let show.
  4. I am grateful for rainy days and Mondays when I leave the house only to go to the gym, then come home to work with the sound of the rain spattering my window, and the cats going nuts because that’s what they do on those rare occasions when we get real rain around here.
  5. I am grateful for abundance; inspiration, motivation, butt-kickers, cheerleaders, friends, love, joy, compassion, support, wisdom, non-conformity, peace, health, harmony, philanthropy, and prosperity.

Love and Light

 

About the Author

Sheri Conaway is a writer, blogger, ghostwriter, and advocate for cats. Sheri believes in the Laws , of Attraction, but only if you are a participant rather than just an observer. Her mission is to Make Vulnerable Beautiful and help entrepreneurs touch the souls of their readers and clients so they can increase their impact and their income. If you’d like to have her write for you, please visit her Hire Me page for more information. You can also find her on Facebook Sheri Levenstein-Conaway Author or in her new group, Putting Your Whole Heart Forward

May 25, 2015 Going With the Flow of the Heart

Sometimes, You Just Need to Let Your Intuition Lead the Way

Today is not going as planned. I look at those words I just typed and think Boy, is that an understatement! My schedule for today was as follows:

  • Gym-Legs
  • Pitches
  • Meditate
  • Write Posts for BlogMutt
  • Dance at BL (Maybe)

I’ve already reconciled myself to the fact that item one has been moved to tomorrow. I tried something different today and did my meditation when I woke up…or should I say I tried to do my meditation when I woke up since Miss Munchkin chose that period of time to use my chest as a trampoline. I can only be grateful that it was the 8 pound cat rather than the 20 pound cat who required gymnastic practice this morning.

As for items two and four, well, let’s just say I gave them the old college try, but ran into issues. I perused the website for the company I’d planned to cold pitch but it just left me cold. No ideas, no inspiration…nothing. I looked at several others in the same Google search with similar results. Thinking I might just need a change of scene, I moved over to BlogMutt to try to find something to write about. Sadly, I ran out of steam before anything really caught my attention, though I am still reviewing one client’s website for inspiration.

Turning back to Facebook (believe it or not, I get a lot of my ideas from pages I’m following) I read a couple of posts shared by friends and one from Spirit Science. Though it didn’t trigger anything marketable, it made me see some things in a new light.

Seeing Immediate Success in Changes for the Better

As I read the article from Spirit Science entitled “What Science is Telling Us About the Heart’s Intuitive Intelligence”, I began to see how my recent actions to give myself a schedule were actually already yielding positive results.

I am no longer getting up in the morning and futzing around on social media for hours. I’m jumping into something productive, even if it is simply reading articles or reviewing websites for possible pitches. Even better, when I wandered into the kitchen looking for lunch, I followed my typical route, looking for something easy. But here’s the difference. Instead of pulling a frozen pizza or veggie lasagna out of the freezer, I pulled kale, a beet, fresh fruit and yogurt and threw together a smoothie. Strangely, it never occurred to me that the time to do so was less than the pizza or lasagna, and aside from a couple more dishes to wash, it’s actually easier! My old mindset kept telling me that it would take too long and be too much effort. I’m also ensuring that a fresh veggie or a salad accompanies any meal with meat, rice or pasta.

I, myself am a prime example of how small changes can have effects far greater than we might realize. Is this the Universe nudging me to take those baby steps? Maybe…likely…probably. I’ve gotten so used to the butt-kicking, head-slapping nudges that the subtle ones which feel like they were my own idea are quite the novel concept.

National Holiday or no, I Need to See Evidence of Productivity

As a freelancer or solopreneur, I don’t have a typical work schedule. Sure, I’m trying to give myself a framework now, but that does not mean I will ever return to the stereotypical nine to five. The very idea makes my gut clench. What it means instead is that time of day or day of the week or even national holiday is no excuse for spending the entire day napping or lollygagging. I try to only allow myself one day in 10, and often 12 or 14 to really just futz around and do nothing constructive. I see that happening less and less frequently as I get more into my schedules, my workouts and my writing.

The energy drain I’d been experiencing seems less and less apparent now. It’s as if I needed to restate my life’s purpose and then just get moving. Though I might not be following the schedule, per se, I find myself anxious to start working on revisions for Frederick the Gentlemouse. Since that is where my creative side wants to go, I see no reason to avoid indulging it (after I finish this post which insisted on being written now! of course). My heart (interesting that I read the Spirit Science article which I previously referenced today) is clearly taking the tentative daily structure and tweaking it to fit its own desires and ambitions. Who am I to argue with whatever makes my heart happy as, if the heart is happy, the brain and the creativity are also happy!

Listen to Your Heart and Find Your Happy

What I’m trying to say in my usual 10,000-words-or-more, rambling kind of way is that though our lives need some kind of basic structure or framework. Once we find something that works, our best option is to step back and allow our hearts to lead the way. Look at it like this: The beating of our heart is what gives us life. Our heart is our healing center (think Heart Chakra). The energy from our heart, when we are in a positive, loving, joyful place has the potential to heal not only our own ills, but also the ills of other people, animals, plants, and Mother Earth herself. Individually, the impact might be small, but imagine the impact of a thousand positive, loving hearts…a million…a trillion. I’m going to go out on a limb and say that most of us wish for peace on earth. I believe we can achieve it, one loving heart at a time. How many lives will you touch? How many hearts can you heal today? How many healed hearts will heal more hearts tomorrow? Wrap your head around that if you can.

My gratitudes today are:
1. I am grateful for the things people share on social media to inspire us.
2. I am grateful for the positive changes I’m making in my own life, and hope they will inspire others to also make changes to improve their lives.
3. I am grateful for the opportunity to increase the vibration on our planet in this human lifetime.
4. I am grateful for the lessons I learn from animals about love and acceptance.
5. I am grateful for abundance: the flow of inspiration, blessings, positive energy, changes which become evolution, love, joy, harmony, peace, energy, health, prosperity and philanthropy.

Blessed Be

And now for some shameless self-promotion:
I’d love it if you’d visit my Facebook pages at https://www.facebook.com/SheriLevensteinConawayAuthor?ref=aymt_homepage_panel and https://www.facebook.com/HLWTAccounting. If you get a minute, please also drop by my website, www.shericonaway.com and check out my Hire Me Page. I’ve created these pages as a means of positive affirmation and would be very grateful if you’d “like” them or leave a comment! Thank you!

May 21, 2014 Another blog topic from a Facebook friend

A friend of mine posted this yesterday, and it elicited some discussion, but mostly from the happily married ladies.  My comment was the only one I saw which questioned the quote (not that it isn’t true, but on another level).  My question was This assumes that the act of falling in love is purely voluntary, though. Would that our hearts would listen to our heads.”

My friend believes that we do, indeed have control over who our heart falls in love with, while I have found that my heart is a finicky sort who doesn’t like being told what is and is not good for her.  

I actually love it when something like this generates different points of view as it reminds me of how delightfully diverse we all can be!  

Admittedly, I have never (at least not in this human lifetime) found someone who sees me this way, though, of course, I would be honored and blessed should someone like this find his way into my life!  That isn’t to say that my heart hasn’t thought it loved a time or two, though, in retrospect, nobody who was truly worthy of that love, nor, also in retrospect, did I truly love any of them with the depth they, too, deserved.  

I realize that a lot of that is on me, as I have at various times and for various reasons, put up huge walls preventing even the toughest of knights from breaching my portcullis.  But for many of those years, it really was a good thing, as I hadn’t really learned to be true to myself first.  In fact, it took me a lot more years than most, a failed marriage, raising two children to adulthood and the deaths of my parents to really push me forward into being this kind of good to myself, first.  

The real reason I’ve reposted this is because I’d love to hear from you, my readers about the subject of love.  Can we truly tell our hearts who to love, or are we subject to its whims, desires, and illogical behavior?

My gratitudes tonight are:
1. I am grateful for friends who give me stuff to write about.
2. I am grateful for the calmer climate I’m experiencing right now, which gives me the opportunity to allow and grow.
3. I am grateful for a busy, productive day which saw me getting my workout in and my errands run.
4. I am grateful for my continuing faith in my own talents and abilities, and the Universe to aid and abet me as I work towards my goals and dreams.
5. I am grateful for the abundant life I lead, in every aspect.

Love and light. 

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