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Archive for the ‘decisions’ Category

December 20, 2014 Discombobulation and other dark, twisty places. #shericonaway

Feeling out of sorts and wasn’t sure why.

I’ve been feeling all weird and confused lately; a little bit sad; a little bit lonely, but mostly like I just don’t fit anywhere any more. After reading Elizabeth Peru’s comment about it being a new moon and time for a re-set, I realized that’s what I need. The only problem is, I’m not quite sure what I need to be re-set to! It’s not like I’m a washing machine and simply have standard settings. OK, today, I am going to set myself for delicates. Tomorrow will be a load of cottons. No, I seem to have lost my way; my purpose. The path I struck isn’t getting me where I want to go, but I’ve lost sight of that nebulous destination.

Thus, without an idea of my purpose or my destination, I’m discombobulated. I no longer have a handle on what I should be doing or where I should be going.

When you don’t know where you want to go or what you want to do, you can still know where you don’t want to go and what you don’t want to do.

That’s where I am right now. I know where I don’t want to go, and that’s back to work full-time doing accounting. Dylan seems to concur as he’s currently laying on my calculator as if to say “Mom, this is definitely not your future any more! Trust me!

I know I want to stick with the writing but I realize that I need to get something else under my belt before I actually go through all of the processes necessary to get a novel published and marketed and yes, sold! I’m just not sure whether that means trying to write and sell articles, gird my loins and carry on with the copywriting, or something else entirely that I haven’t even considered.

I suppose this is one of those times when I just need to put out to the Universe that I want to achieve success and prosperity with my writing and let the details formulate themselves before I learn which direction I need to take.

In the meantime, there are things I do know. I know I need to find a financial adviser/investment adviser to whom I’m more than a phone call every so often when things are going well, and who remembers that we were supposed to talk about making some changes at a specific point in time. I know that I want to start turning things around so my outflow is less than my in flow. I know that I want to do a number of things to improve my personal environment. And I know that I want to get myself back on track both with exercise and eating habits (especially after coming home from dancing to eat a container of mac and cheese and a cheesecake pudding thing.)

As usual, when I’m confused or off track, I can write myself into a solution of sorts.

In years past, when I’d reach a point such as this, I’d typically do a brain dump into a Word document and ultimately come to some sort of decision. Doing so publicly via this blog is no less effective and, in fact, is probably moreso because putting something in public gives me accountability. I know that for now, I’ll deal with finding a new financial adviser, finish the year end accounting stuff I need to and allow the issues with my writing to spin around in my brain as well as the Universal Consciousness for a bit until all of the agitating stirs things up sufficiently, much like swapping the letters in a Scrabble rack, and comes up with something that actually makes sense.

For now, I’ll just focus on my blessings, or as I call them here, my gratitudes:
1. I am grateful for the furry children who await my return whenever I leave home, and are always nearby when I’m home.
2. I am grateful for dance nights, even ones like tonight where I felt so disconnected from it all. I can still get into my own little world for awhile and do something I love.
3. I am grateful that the holidays will soon be over and I can start moving forward again.
4. I am grateful for my writing which, even while it’s not supporting me financially, it is and always has supported me emotionally.
5. I am grateful for abundance: friendship, love, happiness, harmony, health and prosperity.


December 12, 2014 Today’s quandary #shericonaway #copywrite

To copywrite or not to copywrite, that is the question.

Today, I find myself on the horns of a dilemma. But before I proceed, let me provide a little back story: As my loyal readers know, I quit my job a year ago to focus solely on writing. In that time I have completed the first draft and first revision on one novel and the first 50,000 words on a second one. I’ve also learned that getting a novel from inception to publication is not a quick process.

In July, I purchased a copywriting course from AWAI, believing that this might be the solution to my cash flow until I started publishing novels. Well into the third chapter of the course, I found myself floundering, struggling to even get myself motivated to do the work, in part because bald faced sales pitches have never been of interest to me, and, in fact, I skim through one or two that I receive just for the amusement value. Do people really get sucked in by this stuff? Of course they do, or it wouldn’t be a multi-billion dollar industry. But could I look myself in the mirror after doing that kind of writing? Hard to say.

So, what’s the dilema, you say? Seems pretty simple, right?

On the one hand, finishing the course and following the guidelines would likely bring me a source of revenue while the novel writing/editing/revising/promoting process continues. It might also give me a platform with which to do said promoting. On the other hand, I find myself resisting every attempt to continue the course and, in fact, have already decided to skip over one part which has me completely blocked. On the other hand, why am I really pursuing it? If it’s true that doing what you love with passion and devotion will attract whatever you need, then using my writing with the sole intent of making money is surely sending the wrong message and might well stifle my truly creative endeavors.

Yet, a girl has to eat, the mortgage must be paid, the cats must be fed and vet bills met. I do have the other option of trying to drum up more accounting business, but frankly, that makes me break out in a cold sweat, even more than finishing the copywriting course and marketing myself that way.

Writing has always been my passion, my resource and my refuge.

I’m not really looking for someone to give me an answer here. The fact is, whenever I’ve been faced with a serious decision, a major turning point, a struggle or a frustration, I’ve always turned to my very best friend in the world: the written word. I have innumerable brain dumps in which I poured out my thoughts, feelings, concerns and woes to either a piece of paper or a computer screen, knowing that I’d get a completely non-judgmental ear. Sure, I wouldn’t get any sage advice or sympathy either, but maybe that’s not what I was looking for. I truly believe that every answer we need is inside ourselves, either via our connection to the Universe as a whole, or through the experiences our spirit has had in the many human lifetimes it has already passed.

Sometimes, just the act of getting the words out into the world is enough to stir those mental juices into finding a solution or making a decision. My hope is that this time won’t be the exception to my lifelong rule. Often, just saying or writing the words opens a door to allow just the right piece of information in.

I ask you this: What do you do when you’re on the horns of a dilemma, unable to move forward until you’ve given yourself an answer?

In previous posts, I’ve mentioned making lists, though in this case, I don’t see a list developing, other than a list of questions. I’ve found, though, that some problems and questions lend themselves better to lists and others to just a free flow of thoughts. In this case, I’m going to go with the free flow. What about you? How might you approach something like this?

My gratitudes today are:
1. I am grateful for an avenue which helps me pull my thoughts together.
2. I am grateful for the creativity with which I have been blessed.
3. I am grateful for quiet, rainy days which lend themselves to deep thoughts and staying in my pajamas all day.
4. I am grateful for the cleansing rain which has bathed my home this week. I pray that those adversely affected can soon make a full recovery.
5. I am grateful for abundance: inspiration, cogitation, laughter, love, friendship, joy, health, harmony, peace and prosperity.


December 11, 2014 Neglecting my blog, but for good reason. #shericonaway

As my first year as a Writer quickly draws to a close, I find myself neglecting things in favor of others.

Three days ago, I hit the anniversary date of my career and life change and what do I have to show for it? One novel in edit and review status, one novel in progress, a children’s book yet to be edited and a self-help/memoir which is currently being rethought. And leave us not forget a rather prolific blog which, sadly, has, for the moment, a rather limited readership. (I’m still trying to figure out how to get the numbers up, and have dozens of emails from sites a joined which, if I were to actually read them, might help me!)

The problem is both time and prioritizing. This week, I’ve been to the gym exactly once, spent Monday between the vet and the bank and Tuesday running errands, and since then, have buried myself in a book which nearly bonked me on the head in the Universe’s insistence that I needed to re-read it NOW!

Aside from the fact that, as usual, the Universe was dead on, my poor blog and my exercise routine are suffering badly, and, were it not for my freezer full of healthy meals, my diet would be suffering more than it has been, which, sad to say, is pretty bad!

Letting things slide isn’t always a bad thing.

I’ve spent the last couple of days revisiting “Seth Speaks” which I originally read as a myopic, self-involved and confused teenager. I don’t know how much of it actually ‘took’ at the time, though I’m sure some of it colored my life whether I realized it or not. But reading it now, after I’ve made a huge life change, participated in a very intense Ascension Resonance Therapy class and, to no small degree, had life experiences of my own is nothing short of mind blowing.

This time, ideas like parallel lives in any number of time periods, past, present and future, and on different time lines makes perfect sense to me. The idea that time is not linear? Also completely logical. That the spirit or soul or entity or whatever you want to call it doesn’t die, but moves through time, space and everything else to just be in all of the places it is? Not hard for me to grasp at all.

What really prompted me to go here right now?

As always, things in my life happen for a reason, and that reason can usually be clearly pinpointed. I’d actually been discussing the book, on different occasions, with my friend and massage therapist. I’d also been getting increasingly interested in the concept of channeling, and feel that, somehow, some way, I’m meant to do so myself. Jane Roberts was certainly meant to do so, but Seth waited until she had some life experiences behind her before actually starting the ball rolling, so to speak. However, as I continue to read “Seth Speaks”, I wonder if my lack of a partner in crime is what is holding me back now? Both Jane Roberts and Esther Hicks (who, admittedly, has come under a lot of criticism for both her claims and the money she’s made from her books, seminars and what have you) had someone there to record their sessions and even, when warranted, ask questions.

I’m sure by now you’re asking “How in the heck did she get there from here?” Sure I set out to talk about how I’m neglecting, not only my blog, but my workout routine and about half of my daily chores, but you know how my ADHD tends to take control of my writing here. It’s not like when I’m writing a novel and actually have to get to a point and try to make everything leading up to it make sense, at least indirectly. Most times when I sit down to write my blog, I have a thought in mind, but somewhere along the way, my train derails and takes off in a whole new direction, sometimes across the frozen tundra or an uncharted desert. The good news is, eventually, I do return to the point.

And speaking of ADHD, aside from the fact that the people I know and love best all have at least a touch of it, I am truly confused as to why medical science still insists on calling it an illness, despite the fact that a rather large number of creative geniuses are also “sufferers”. Maybe that’s exactly why I find it so easy to wrap my head around the idea of non-linear time. My thinking is anything but linear in nature, so accepting the fact that something that people have been taught to believe is linear when it isn’t is no more of a leap than putting one foot in front of the other.

Making the big decision for the day.

So here I sit, dressed, once again, in my workout clothes asking that pressing question: “So, what will it be today? Gym or Seth?”. The brain kicks in, left side or right side, it doesn’t really matter, saying:

“Tonight is a dance night, you know, so you will be getting some exercise, and since it’s leg day, you really shouldn’t do legs before dancing, right?”
Of course, the devil on my other shoulder has to put in her two cents, too.
“You’ve been eating like crap the past two days. Do you know how many blue corn tortilla chips have passed your lips? I don’t have to remind you that they will be landing right on your already ample hips! What happened to talking yourself into going to the gym four days a week? Huh? Where’d that go???”. Cranky little twit!

In my defense, the benefit of reading “Seth” is two-fold. Part of it is definitely self-serving, but part really is research so I can move forward on the novel I began in November. It may seem like a stretch to think a book like that would have anything helpful to offer a novel about a woman who inherits a mansion inhabited by the spirits of a couple of centuries of relatives, but you’ll have to trust me on this one.

As I sit here coughing up the detritus from last week’s cold which seems to find it’s way into my lungs as I sleep (maybe there really is something to be said for Seth’s idea that we sleep for much too long at a stretch?) I realize that I will be spending the day reading and drinking Tea for Colds liberally laced with (not what you’re thinking!) honey and lemon so I’ll be hack free for dancing tonight. I sacrifice much for my craft.

My gratitudes today are:
1. I am grateful for Universal head slaps.
2. I am grateful for the life experiences which allow me to learn from something which was only a blip on my life’s radar the first time around.
3. I am grateful for the cooperation of my four boys with their daily doses of refrigerator cold ear drops. (of course, wet food in the morning and treats at night are a strong motivator for their cooperation!)
4. I am grateful for the rain we’re supposed to be getting after several very dry years. My grass is loving the added moisture (or more accurately, my weeds!)
5. I am grateful for abundance: Inspiration, motivation, like-minded souls, opportunities, love, joy, happiness, laughter, dancing, health, harmony, peace and prosperity.


October 2, 2014 I love lists!!!

There’s a phrase I never thought I’d hear myself utter!

Truth be told, this is really a new love in my life. It began just shy of a year ago when I left the rat race and no longer had a fixed routine. Suddenly, I found myself needing structure, not only because it got me motivated, but because it gave me a sense of accomplishment to check a task off of one of my lists. I have several now, but one main list on which I keep track of daily and weekly chores as well as things I’m trying to accomplish over the course of time, and things I want to make part of my regular routine. For the most part, it works very well. However, one thing I didn’t count on was how much I like being away from people…a LOT! This makes things like regular gym visits very challenging, and forces me to look for alternative activities that I might actually stick to for more than two or three months.  So far, cleaning house, something I used to despise, seems to be filling some of that void.

I’m also learning, by following my lists, that it does me good to get out in the world more, as I seem to get things done better when I’m not a complete hermit. Take today for example. I had to be out of the house early to take one of my cats to the vet for a check up. By noon, I had not only been to the vet and returned, but I had emptied, cleaned and refilled both sand boxes, vacuumed the entire house (minus the ant room which I am still hesitant to enter) and scrubbed the kitchen and bathroom floors! All that, just because I got moving!

Lists: They’re not just for tasking any more!

Using lists isn’t just to keep track of what you have to do, though (and I’ll include packing lists in that category). They can also motivate in other ways. Take, for example, the gratitude list I always close my posts with. Can you really be unmotivated and miserable while counting your blessings? Lists are also good when you’re trying to make a decision. You can lists pros and cons, or things that inspire you…the possibilities, and lists, are endless!

Lists and graphics and charts, Oh, my!

Spending over 30 years playing with numbers, charts and spreadsheets does leave a mark on a person. Being no exception, my lists have evolved so that they are no longer simply checklists, but spreadsheets on which I can not only check things off, but quantify my actions. Once I have compiled enough data, I’ll be able to do some trend analysis as well. (OK, so maybe that is a bit over the top, but did I mention I love my lists?)

Something else I’ve discovered by keeping my lists, I sleep better at night! No, really! Think about it, especially the women out there. How many hours of sleep do you lose in a month because you’re making lists in your head instead of falling into a peaceful slumber? If you committed those lists to paper or computer screen, wouldn’t you rest easier? If a small amount of effort could cure your insomnia, wouldn’t you try it? C’mon! Be honest now! I challenge you to try listing for just a week or two, then report back to me via the comment section of this blog. I want to hear from you, whether or not keeping lists works for you, and if it does, I want to hear about your lists. What where they for? What did you keep track of? How did it make you feel to check things off or count your blessings or list the pros and cons of a decision you were trying to make?

But before I go off into a list bliss, I’ll close with my favorite list, my nightly gratitude list:
1. I am grateful for lists. They keep me focused and they remind me of what’s truly important.
2. I am grateful for the people who read my blog, especially when I hear that something I said inspired them.
3. I am grateful for all that I accomplished today, and the things I plan to do tomorrow.
4. I am grateful for forward progress on my copywriting class. Sometimes, it just takes a little motivation.
5. I am grateful for abundance: love, harmony, motivation, inspiration, imagination, gratitude, faith, hope, health and prosperity…and of course, LISTS!!!


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