Rip off the mask, tear down the walls. Show the world your beautiful self!

Taking All of the Steps But Coming Up Empty

A couple of months ago, I took Gina Horkey’s Freelance course. Though I thought I put each of the steps into practice, I have gained a friend, but not the livelihood for which I’d studied. To add further insult to injury, I joined her Facebook group where it seems that everyone in there except me has had success pitching jobs. I’m now forced to ask myself, what am I doing wrong?

I do OK when I log onto one of those content mill sites and write something for one of their clients. In fact, I have a 100% success rate. But do I really want to spend my time writing and researching a decent post for 8 bucks a post? I can answer that question without a nanosecond of hesitation. I’d do better to put that time into my fiction and my own blog. I tried cold-pitching, first with someone I already knew, then with several chiropractors. The first gave me a “thanks, but no thanks” response. After several days of silence, and not even a read receipt from the chiropractors, I got emails from several including my own doctor, only to learn that they all just subscribed to a single location which wrote their content. All they had to do was to send the link to their own subscribers. So that was a bust as well.

I’m thinking I need to just research and write a post on the top 10 frustrations facing freelance writers trying to gain a foothold in what we’re told repeatedly is an industry desperate for writers.

Frustration Can Be A Strong Motivator

Since nobody was beating down my door looking for blog posts or web content, I turned my attention to one of the books I’d bought on writing; this time, Ray Bradury’s version. There, I found some encouragement and inspiration, even if it wasn’t directly related to selling my writing. His style and encouragement convinced me to stop beating myself up over how little editing I’d done on Sasha’s Journey, and just start writing for an hour a day (though, for now, it’s every two days, but I have always given myself credit for the baby steps). In the process of following this new path, I’m about 1800 words into a new short story. Though I’m not breaking any records yet, at least I’m now moving in the right direction.

What I’ve discovered is that when I try to actively monetize my writing, something always gets in my way. When I just write for the love of the written word, or about something I feel passionate about, the words flow like water. This is evidenced by the last couple of blog posts I wrote, both over 1000 words.

Overcoming the Physical Obstacles

As I reminisce about the physical challenges brought on in June and July by shoulder and neck issues, it occurs tDerailed Traino me that my train was derailed last year due to sinus and ear infections at just about the same time. Is there something about this time frame? Do I have a regular date with frustration and poor self-esteem in the early months of summer? Do I simply get off track and my body chooses this time to remind me of my real purpose? Is this the Universe’s oh-so-subtle way of saying Girl, if you keep going down this path, you’re just going to wind up being another easily-forgettable train wreck. Now get your little choo-choo back on the tracks and make me proud! Gotta love the perverse sense of humor and twisted sort of pleasure the Universe likes to have at my expense.

Once again, I find myself questioning everything from the yogurt I had for breakfast to the Leap of Faith I took when this whole thing really began and wonder for the kazillionth time if I’ve made a huge, irreversible mistake. I wonder if it’s time to go to Plan Q and go back into the work force until I can get my little enterprise up and running, whether that enterprise be freelancing or fiction writing. OK, so in a lot of ways, they bear a striking resemblance to each other. Either way, I still have to do research and put some believability and even credibility into the words I pen. I still get up nearly every morning and read something or write something, and sometimes I even do both!

So yes I’m frustrated and feeling like I’m wearing my failure face, but thankfully, it just strengthens my resolve. I may not know where I’m really going, much less, how I’ll go about getting there, but when push comes to shove, I still believe in myself.

My gratitudes tonight are:
1. I am grateful for life’s challenges.
2. I am grateful for the opportunity to question my own decisions.
3. I am grateful for the successes of others who’ve trod my path as it tells me that I, too can succeed, and succeed in a grand way.
4. I am grateful for the physical ailments which have added new movement to my daily routine. The cats may not like the waiting for their breakfast while I stretch my sleep-stiff bones, but they sure don’t complain about my willingness to get up, move around and take care of the rest of their needs as a result.
5. I am grateful for abundance: love, friendship, motivation, inspiration, shared success stories, words on the page, peace, harmony, health, prosperity and philanthropy.

Blessed Be

I’d appreciate your taking a moment to visit my Facebook pages at https://www.facebook.com/SheriLevensteinConawayAuthor?ref=aymt_homepage_panel and https://www.facebook.com/HLWTAccounting . Please also drop by my website, http://www.shericonaway.com and check out my Hire Me Page. I’ve created these pages as a means of positive affirmation and would be very grateful if you’d “like” them or leave a comment! Thank you!

photo credit: Photograph of postcard of wreck of the Delaware and Hudson train via photopin (license)

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