Rip off the mask, tear down the walls. Show the world your beautiful self!

Putting the Final Touches on the Healing Process

Today I treated myself to a massage with my amazing massage therapist, as I felt I’d done everything else I could do to put my neck, arm and shoulder back into alignment. Though with Barb “Massage Therapist” is such a simplistic name for what she truly does. A couple of years ago, we took a healing class together and though I ended up learning a lot about myself in the process and cleared out some personal, energetic baggage, she truly put the pieces together and has built on her already impressive toolbox of skills.

Going to see her today was as much for the body work as it was for all of the other things she puts into it, including helping me find that missing thread I needed to heal myself. Although we’ve had many tremendously successful healing sessions together, I’d have to say that today’s was over-the-top extraordinary.

First off, we added a verbal aspect to the session which is atypical for us. Since I finally learned how to relax and not try to help (at least most of the time), I tend to go into a meditative state while she works. Today, however, there was intermittent dialogue as well as the extra effort she made to keep me comfortable with an arm and shoulder that needed extra support at times and changing positions at others.

Visualizations and Revelations

From long association, Barb has learned that I get a lot of visualizations during meditations, Tarot readings, massages and pretty much any kind of spiritual, energetic practices. When the visions came today, I shared them with her in a kind of free associating manner. This allowed her to help me understand and expand on them. I’m getting a bit confused about the order of the visuals, but the first two were of a ghost-like fairy rising up from my shoulder and trailing a long strip of white light behind her while the muscles and tendons in my shoulder became the gnarled old roots of an ancient tree. Then, I was digging through the roots, breaking them up with some kind of wooden tool and working them into the already rich soil which was the result of centuries of fallen leaves being reabsorbed into the earth. Once the soil was broken up, I saw sunflowers growing in abundance and a small pool of water forming amidst the sunflowers.

She interpreted the sunflowers as my supporters or my fans, or perhaps both. The more I think about it, the more it fits. I felt like I was an integral part of this enormous, ancient spreading oak tree and felt the leaves waving around my head, caressing my cheeks when suddenly I realized that I was the tree…or the tree was me!

The long and the short of it is that my shoulder and arm have felt much better all day today, so I feel that I reached a point where I’m ready to release the things which turned them into a mass of painfully knotted muscles. That release is exactly what I hoped to do when I impulsively asked for the appointment after yesterday’s acupuncture session.

There Are Times When We Need to Give Ourselves Time to Look Inward

I spent the rest of the day doing a few small chores, but mostly meditating and finishing Ray Bradbury’s Zen and the Art of Writing. I also added more words to the list of prompts I started when I began reading the book (though in truth, they’ll ultimately become a part of the word map I started for the Holly Lisle writing course I’m slowly working my way through. But as I finished the book, I was inspired (though after I began writing I’m not sure that’s the proper word) to write what became the first 9 pages in longhand of a tale depicting my own worst case scenario, five years from now as a result of the choices I made a year and a half ago. For some reason, I needed to write about losing everything, being unable to afford vet bills to save three of my cats (though I didn’t specify which three except that one was my soul mate cat because I knew that would be the most devastating) and selling off my furniture, clothes and even most of my books.

At times, the tale I wrote seemed so real that I found myself sobbing as I wrote. I don’t know if I’ll re-read it (though I probably will) nor if I’ll even finish it, but I do know that it was, in some way, part healing process and part getting me writing, caring more about the process than what actually came out. Of course, I changed the names to protect the not-so-innocent too!

We All Have the Tools Within Ourselves to Self Heal, But Sometimes, a Little Help From a Friend Can Kick Start the Process

Though we are all capable of self-healing, being objective about locating and correctly interpreting our own blocks can sometimes present a challenge. I’ve learned that finding friends and practitioners who can not only help amplify the messages and answers we receive so we hear and recognize them, but can also help see things in the messages we receive that we are too immersed in the problem to see for ourselves. Like everything else, I believe such people are put into our lives when we are ready to utilize the skills for which they can offer guidance. Even if we know what to look for, they elude us until we establish a foundation which is open to their teachings.

So tonight, I feel comfortable releasing the fears and worries which knotted my neck and shoulder, but I also feel like I’ve released the negative expectations of the path I’m on, despite the fact that there is still no certainty of success, nor a guarantee that I can safely release any thoughts of obtaining temporary accounting work just to make ends meet. I have faced the demons by writing about them and truly believe that the power rests with me and not with them.

My gratitudes tonight are:
1. I am grateful for the people, the skills and the tools to self-heal.
2. I am grateful for my house full of healthy, happy, demanding fur babies.
3. I am grateful for a social life which, while not extremely active is extremely satisfying and has the diversity I need to get me away from my cave for several hours a week.
4. I am grateful for the words of some of my favorite authors which inspire, encourage and push me to keep up the effort.
5. I am grateful for abundance: resources, inspiration, motivation, love, friendship, understanding, harmony, peace, words, health, prosperity and philanthropy.

Blessed Be

I’d appreciate your taking a moment to visit my Facebook pages at https://www.facebook.com/SheriLevensteinConawayAuthor?ref=aymt_homepage_panel and https://www.facebook.com/HLWTAccounting . Please also drop by my website, http://www.shericonaway.com and check out my Hire Me Page. I’ve created these pages as a means of positive affirmation and would be very grateful if you’d “like” them or leave a comment! Thank you!

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