Where Do the Tough Ones Go When Life Throws a Curveball Even They Can’t Field Alone?
I have to believe that even the best of us; the strongest, the calmest, the most together people of all hit a point where they just need to talk something out. It might be a tricky problem or a difficult co-worker, or something else entirely. What matters is that, at times, we all need to get something outside of our heads; lay it out on the table, turn it this way and that, dissect it and put it back together a different way. The first part of this process, getting it outside of our heads, is the toughest of all.
The lucky ones have someone they can bounce things off of; someone who listens objectively and without judgment and is even able to offer a point of view which may not have even occurred to them. But many of us just don’t have that luxury. Everyone is so busy with their own stuff that even finding someone with the time to listen (short of paying a professional of course) is really tough. If it’s a puzzle with a work project, we can usually find someone to bounce ideas off of. It’s not so easy when it’s something we’re struggling with personally, be it the job itself, our overall career path, family challenges or just finding our way through this intricate maze called Life.
I have always been a huge fan of the written word, both mine and other people’s. So it follows that my sounding board is often a blank Word document on my computer. Many a sleepless night was spent pounding away at the keyboard, dumping all of my thoughts out on the screen so I could either sort through them at a later date, or, more often, just get them to stop rattling around inside my head. In fact, it was once such document, revisited nearly 20 years later which convinced me it was time to jump off the deep end and write instead of working for someone else as an accountant. Yet here I am, a year and a half later, still questioning my sanity over that leap. Don’t get me wrong. I don’t question the fact that it was time for me to leave the corporate rat race. But I do question whether my timing, methodology and plan were exactly sound.
Getting Back to Basics
This week I decided that it was time for me to take my discombobulated brain and spend a day away from most of the electronics (the phone went with me, though even email wasn’t functioning anyway), doing things the old-fashioned way. I drove to a beach I know which is less frequented by the summer masses, taking my time by traveling the back roads instead of the highways. I took the time to just walk along the beach, listening to the waves and watching nothing. Then I took some more time to sit in my beach chair, eyes closed, simply listening to wind and surf chasing each other across the sand. The few people close enough to hear carried on their conversations oblivious to me and my mental meanderings. The rise and fall of their voices, their accents, their own little dramas just became part of the ambient sounds of my meditation.
After nibbling at the sandwich and fruit I’d brought, I picked up my college-ruled notebook and began to write long hand. I know it’s a dying art, but I’m very grateful that my generation was forced to master the skill, even if my handwriting, at times, is even illegible to me. There is something cathartic about putting pen to paper; something I’d forgotten. As I sat on the beach, pouring out my thoughts on the page, I began to notice common threads. I began to understand some of what was causing the whirlpool in which I found myself. Reading what I’d written yesterday, I found a little more clarity today, and added another page or so while I was at it.
I certainly haven’t found a solution yet, but I’m no longer feeling so sad and discouraged. I will probably continue putting pen to paper for another few days until I do reach a solution or see my way out of this box I seem to have wandered into. Meanwhile, I’ve found a new way to be my own sounding board; one which is highly portable and requires no charging as it functions under the power of my own body’s energy. Sometimes, we just have to go back to basics. By doing so physically, we allow our minds to sort through the chaos and find peace as well.
My gratitudes tonight are:
1. I am grateful for the simple things.
2. I am grateful that I gave myself the gift of a beach day.
3. I am grateful for my friends and for the summer season when we get together to see plays as well as our regular dancing.
4. I am grateful for the combination of treatments which have eased, if not erased, the pain in my shoulder and arm.
5. I am grateful for abundance: peace, love, harmony, friendship, sharing, caring, intentions, ideas, health, prosperity and philanthropy.
I’d appreciate your taking a moment to visit my Facebook pages at https://www.facebook.com/SheriLevensteinConawayAuthor?ref=aymt_homepage_panel and https://www.facebook.com/HLWTAccounting . Please also drop by my website, http://www.shericonaway.com and check out my Hire Me Page. I’ve created these pages as a means of positive affirmation and would be very grateful if you’d “like” them or leave a comment! Thank you!