Rip off the mask, tear down the walls. Show the world your beautiful self!

When is a Leap of Faith Not a Leap of Faith

Sometimes we choose our Leaps of Faith and other times, they are thrust upon us. Such is the case with my determination to remain self-sufficient, regardless of how many years this body has spent on earth. Until a little over a year ago, that wasn’t really a problem as my daughter and son-in-law lived right up the street and could be called upon if I needed another set of hands, a second opinion or a stronger back than mine. That all changed when the Navy sent them three hours away a little over a year ago. (It could have been much worse as at first, we thought he would end up in Norfolk, VA, a mere 3000 miles or so away from here!). Suddenly, I have to figure out how to trim the cats’ nails by myself, haul those 40 pound tubs of cat sand from store to car to garage and a myriad of other things I’ve depended on help from the kids to do.

Lest you’ve forgotten, I tend to shy away from asking help of outsiders, even if those outsiders are friends. Plus, as I descend further into hermit-dom, friends who are close enough to ask for help with cats, doctor visits and the like are few and far between, and many of them are tied up with grand kids. Yet, the real culprit in my latest wandering train of thought is the shoulder pain I’ve been living with for going on three weeks now. Though exercises, homeopathics, a couple of visits to the chiropractor and limited use of prescription muscle relaxers and pain pills has given me back most of my range of motion and functionality, the one thing which is slow to return is a good night’s sleep. Because both my shoulder and arm are involved, it is nearly impossible to sleep in my bed, and then, never for the whole night. Ultimately, I find myself back on the La-Z-Boy sofa, on my back, which is my least favorite sleeping position. Even then, I may need the pills and my heated rice bag in order to find sleep again.

But don’t think it’s all bad news. Either the pain, the effort to eat or the meds are killing my appetite and my weight continues to drop, almost daily. Though I know that part of that is muscle mass which isn’t being supported without regular visits to the gym, some is clearly weight I, in all honesty, need to shed to improve my health and well-being. One thing I do miss is having Heather just beat on my shoulder. The electric massager she reminded my I had is not nearly as effective as a few good, hard whacks on my shoulder. She and her sister both used to enjoy being asked to beat on Mommy when they were younger.

But I digress. I wanted to include some facts and figures about back pain in women of my advanced age, but everything I found talks about the lower back. Even when I got specific and searched for ‘right shoulder pain’ I got very limited information other than that it becomes more common in people over 40. Heck, I could have told them that! (though I was happy to read that it’s left shoulder pain which is connected to heart attacks) Still, this Leap of Faith which was thrust upon me by my son-in-law’s military orders has been a blessing in disguise of sorts. Instead of lying around the house having someone take on those tasks which must be done like laundry, meals, grocery shopping and cat care, I’ve had to find a way to manage the pain, work the sore muscles and get on with my life. Between just moving whether it hurts or not, guzzling Nova’s Shoulder/Arm complex and Injury/Trauma complex every hour or so and doing curls with my 5 pound free weight every couple of hours, the pain has lessened dramatically and my arm is more often numb than painful now.

Inspiration Comes in Many Shapes and Sizes

My next door neighbor is in his 80’s, yet he still keeps himself fit, does his own yard work and can be found in the garage on many days building something-or-other. The lady across the street is also in her 80’s and toured Greece a couple of years ago. She still keeps her own house, though has recently hired a gardener to maintain the lawns. Her kids live nearby so they’re available to help with the heavy lifting, but she’s pretty self-sufficient. And of course, there’s Bonnie who is nearing 90 and has been dancing at all of the clubs I’ve been to and then some for longer than anyone can remember. Sure, she has to modify some of the steps and leaves the faster dances to the 50 and 60 year olds, but we all aspire to her longevity on the dance floor. I am at least as healthy, if not more so than any of these people, so they’re examples help me to suck it up when I want to crawl into my favorite hidey hole and whine about a little pain. Instead, I remind myself (and anyone who will listen) that a few aches and pains remind me that I’m still alive and kicking.

Every time I want to have a pity party about the aches and pains or my less-than-amazing efforts to make a life for myself as a writer, I look around me and see that there are so many things I am accomplishing that I need to have a little more patience with myself as well as being as diligent about pursuing my writing as I am about being self-sufficient and everything will work out perfectly in the end…or at least until a take another leap!

My gratitudes tonight are:
1. I am grateful for both the opportunities I choose and the ones which have been thrust upon me.
2. I am grateful for an improvement in the pain department each day (only needed to take the meds once yesterday).
3. I am grateful for the supportive community of writers, bloggers and freelancers who recognize that there is easily enough for everyone and we are all special and unique.
4. I am grateful for continued messages from the Universe that I’m going in the right direction, even when it feels like I’m standing still.
5. I am grateful for the continued attention of my kitty nurses, despite their displeasure over my abandonment of their favorite night time cuddle spot.
6. I am grateful for abundance: love, life, inspiration, motivation, creativity, encouragement, opportunity, peace, harmony, happiness, prosperity, health and philanthropy.

Blessed Be

I’d appreciate your taking a moment to visit my Facebook pages at https://www.facebook.com/SheriLevensteinConawayAuthor?ref=aymt_homepage_panel and https://www.facebook.com/HLWTAccounting . Please also drop by my website, http://www.shericonaway.com and check out my Hire Me Page. I’ve created these pages as a means of positive affirmation and would be very grateful if you’d “like” them or leave a comment! Thank you!

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