May 24, 2015 Judging vs. Avoiding

Today’s Epiphany: Why I Feel So Strongly About Certain Personality Traits

I was talking to a friend last night about an individual who’s behavior annoys me. I believe my exact words were something to the effect of: She really annoys me when she… I know I should allow it to annoy me, but it does. Then it came to me. I currently have no relationship with one of my daughters because she behaves in the exact same manner and I do not tolerate it from her, so I’m not likely to tolerate it from others.

For the most part, I have learned to simply distance myself from people who believe it is OK to use or manipulate other people in order to get what they want. In social situations, it isn’t always possible, and I’m still learning how to do so without being rude, unkind or offensive myself.

Theoretically, We Attract What We Exude…But What if We Don’t?

On an energetic level, we typically attract likes. People with positive attitudes attract others like them while those who love drama and complaining will attract the same as well. Manipulators attract other manipulators who understand them, but they also attract those who seem to function better if they’re serving someone else’s needs instead of their own.

I try to live my life with gratitude and positive energy, and yet, there are still times when the opposing energy sneaks into my life, and I have to ask myself why? That’s when brutal honesty kicks in and I’m forced to realize that I’m attracting something I don’t want because I’m putting a strong, emotional message out there about not wanting it! It may be my behavior or it may just be errant thoughts but either way, it is a huge red flag that there is something within myself I need to fix, and I need to fix it now.

I paused for a few hours to allow what I’d already written to both settle and percolate in my mind. I believe that when I’m writing something that’s more serious than usual, it helps to let the thoughts settle. This time, however, it had a rather unsettling effect. I found that I started feeling like I needed to cry, yet I don’t feel sad, nor are the tears actually building up and ready to fall. It’s like whatever sadness is causing the need to cry isn’t inside of me at all, but is part of the Human Energy Field and, as an empath, I’m feeling it. But as an empath who has learned to detach from the emotions of others to some degree (not always with rousing success), I know that the sadness and the need to cry aren’t really mine.

Detachment is Easier from a Distance

I spent the day alone with my cats, and yes, sticking to my self-imposed schedule. I completed some work for a client, though a large chore I wanted to complete was not even addressed. I did, however, get, not only my normal hour’s meditation in, but a couple of short guided ones as well. I would consider it a successful day. Because the only human contact I had was on the phone with my daughter or via the internet, it is no surprise that I’m able to remain detached from the emotions which are tickling at my senses. It is far easier to keep my distance when the humans in question keep theirs.

At one point in this afternoon’s meditation, I got a vision of the flashing lights of a police car and immediately felt that I was being cautioned, not only when I’m operating a car, but in other areas of my life as well. It wasn’t clear what those other areas might be. I was simply receiving a warning to proceed with caution. In hindsight, this might also refer to my dealings with humanity in general and even in particular. As I receive still more emotional twinges, I’m inclined to follow the advice I received and proceed cautiously, wherever possible, looking before I leap. If I can stay away from humanity altogether for a few days, that might be optimum.

The productivity calendar seems to be working well as a supplement to my To Do list and I’ve bravely extended it out for a few more days with some of the entries, like my daily meditations and gym visits, being extended out indefinitely. I have a full work week of daily scheduled tasks now, though I am understanding with myself if I don’t get to all of them…yet. Interestingly, I did not schedule my blog posting. I find that there are days when I’ll just dash it off late at night, while others, like today see me just working on pieces of it throughout the day. For some reason, I’m hesitant to actually dedicate any particular time of day to the task. But this process is a moving target so there might come a time when I’ll need to regiment my blog posting too.

My gratitudes tonight are:
1. I am grateful for days without human contact and shields which protect me from the most virulent of human emotions.
2. I am grateful for the company of my cats who love me unconditionally and constantly entertain.
3. I am grateful for the success of my new project management system and look forward to increasing productivity as a result.
4. I am grateful for so many things that my mind is spiraling out of control with the joy and wonder of it all. I feel like shouting to the Universe, I am so very blessed! Thank you!
5. I am grateful for abundance: blessings, joy, love, presence, success, productivity, health, harmony, peace, prosperity and philanthropy.

Blessed Be

And now for some shameless self-promotion:
I’d love it if you’d visit my Facebook pages at https://www.facebook.com/SheriLevensteinConawayAuthor?ref=aymt_homepage_panel and https://www.facebook.com/HLWTAccounting. If you get a minute, please also drop by my website, http://www.shericonaway.com and check out my Hire Me Page. I’ve created these pages as a means of positive affirmation and would be very grateful if you’d “like” them or leave a comment! Thank you!