Rip off the mask, tear down the walls. Show the world your beautiful self!

Early this evening, I started my Monday night routine of gathering the trash. As I opened the garage door, I was pleased to find that it was actually rather pleasant out. My outdoor cats kept rubbing against my legs as I emptied a case of cat food into the cupboard, giving me the inclination to stay outside awhile and give them some extra attention.

Once the barrels were doing their weekly sentry duty at the curb, I pulled a beach chair out of my storage room, planted myself on the driveway, and prepared to give the girls some extra lovin’s. Being the independent creatures, they are, I found I was left to my own devices a good bit of the time, and as I watched the clouds changing color as the sun slowly fell into the sea, I realized that the quiet of the evening, broken only by the occasional car or dog walker, was both peaceful and surreal. Trees which stood before houses on the opposite side of the street took on an almost two-dimensional feel, as if I was looking at a painting. Even branches waving in the breeze didn’t detract from the feeling that I was, somehow, an observer, outside of the world I was watching.

As I sat there watching, daydreaming, drifting, I thought about the fact that, for just a few moments, I was completely disconnected from all of my electronics; computer, ipad, phone. I thought about the fact that I tend to feel uncomfortable when I am unreachable for any length of time. As the thought entered my mind, I allowed myself to drift back to when this particular feeling originated. It wasn’t long before I found myself in December of 1993, during the two week shut down of my work, and Christmas vacation for my daughters. It was just a couple of days after Christmas, and the girls and I had gone to the store for groceries.

Going back to a time when we relied on voice mail because nobody had cell phones.

Those were the days when people didn’t have cell phones. A few had car phones, but they only worked when hooked up to a car. Others had pagers, but those only alerted us and gave us a number to call. Thus, I remember vividly, returning from shopping and dutifully checking for messages, only to find one from my dad who tearfully informed me that my mother was gone. Realizing that this was the event which made me paranoid about being out of touch, I asked for a clearing, after which the peacefulness of the evening became even more pronounced. I sat there in my quiet cocoon of peace, watching the rest of the sunset, then sitting in the deepening gloom, completely comfortable with the idea of being, for another half hour or so, unreachable and disconnected. I know that, from now on, I will not only make time in my day to disconnect, but will no longer feel inclined to cut this time short. In fact, sitting outside in the evening while my phone and computer wait inside for my pleasure may well become part of my nightly routine.

My gratitudes tonight are:
1. I am grateful for epiphanies that lead to clearing of old baggage.
2. I am grateful for calm, peaceful, cooler nights to sit outside and just be.
3. I am grateful for inspiration which appears in so many ways.
4. I am grateful for the time I’ve been given to just think and grow without feeling guilty about getting nothing meaningful done.
5. I am grateful for abudance; peace, love, joy, happiness, harmony, health and prosperity.



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