Out of sight, out of mind
This weekend finds me being put well into my place. For a number of reasons, I missed a semi-annual gathering of friends and acquaintances who share a common history. As posts popped up on social media to let various people know they were missed, none were directed at me. At first, I felt hurt as, when I’ve attended in the past, I was greeted with a genuine welcome by many, and spent several hours talking to and laughing with the people.
I realize now that though the friendliness and welcome were real, once I walked out the door, to most, I was just another face in the crowd. It’s nobody’s fault but my own for assuming too much.
I’m not going to start making the usual excuses for people (busy lives, lots of other people to see…) because they don’t need any. It’s nobody’s job to make me feel welcome, included, or missed. It’s on my own head for thinking it might be.
I’ve gotten very spoiled, though. If I miss a single night of dancing without letting everyone know ahead of time why, I know I’ll take a lot of ribbing from my dance friends about my whereabouts and failure to ask permission. But not everyone can, will or should love me that way. The dance crowd has spoiled me, and the spoiling is good. I love them all, see them regularly, even do non-dance things on occasion (like a concert in the park today!).
One size does not fit all!
The truth is, we have people we know at different levels. Aside from family who may or may not be interested in our welfare or whereabouts, at the top of the list is Friends. After that, it’s a slow downward progression to acquaintances, people we see on occasion and play the social nice game, and finally strangers. Expecting anyone but friends to care whether you’re around or not is both egotistical and ludicrous.
Forgive and remember
My task for today is to forgive myself for overestimating my own importance to others, to remember the lesson, and to find even more joy on those people I call “Friend”, or, better still, my extended family.
My gratitudes tonight are:
1. I appreciate lessons, even when those lessons take me down a peg or two.
2. I am grateful for the people who give me crap when I’m not where they expect me to be.
3. I am grateful for a wonderful Concert in the Park with a few of those who truly make me feel wanted and appreciated.
4. I am grateful for the lessons I’ve learned in forgiveness and acceptance.
5. I am grateful for abundance; joy, love, friendship, harmony, peace, health and prosperity.