Dancing outside my comfort zone

I’m feeling the shift, whether or not I want it, it’s going to happen, so I may as well just sit back, relax, and let the changes manifest as they see fit!   This morning, I chatted a bit with Heather as she was working on finding her way around her new home without depending on her GPS.  I’m still feeling a little sad, but I know that it will get better each day and the key is to keep busy.  While running some errands with Heather yesterday, we stopped at Underwood and July must have come early, as they had some gorgeous heirloom tomatoes.  I got the ingredients for another batch of gazpacho, using my Easter present from the kids.  I’m looking forward to the next few days being filled with book editing, accounting work and maybe even some more decluttering.  I’m loving how each room is slowly getting organized!  Even the garage isn’t such a mess any more!  I’m also hoping to get my altar set up soon.

The outpouring of love and understanding I’m receiving from my friends right now is incredibly heart warming.  Many weren’t surprised that I started to fall apart a little last night, and were probably more surprised that it didn’t happen sooner.  I had no idea that I’d take the kids’ move as hard as I seem to have done.  But I guess it has a lot to do with the fact that my daughter is also my best friend and that I find it nearly impossible to open up to other people.

But the Universe has only my best interests in mind, and this is just another opportunity to step outside of my comfort zone.

Playing my Loggins and Messina Pandora station while making the gazpacho today, I alternated between singing loudly, dancing to one of the songs (it was a great solo Drifter) and even shedding a few tears when a song reminded me of how lost I’m feeling with the kids no longer within shouting distance.

It’s all part of the process and I know it will come out perfectly in the end, but right now, I’ve been better.  But my friends are amazing and are offering me all sorts of suggestions.  One of the best was to help feed the homeless on Tuesday night.  After ensuring that the church which holds the event won’t shake in it’s foundation from my presence, I realized that doing something for someone else is probably the very best medicine for what’s currently ailing me.  I don’t have anything going on on Tuesdays anyway, so, why not?

After I’d gone and posted this, I realized that it was missing
something.  Wynonna did a song a number of years ago (as did Kenny
Chesney, but I like the Wynonna version best), which really makes sense
to me right now.  Here it is if you want to listen.

I also learned today that Apple is having a 7 for 1 stock split which might not mean much to most, but I have a few shares in my portfolio, and this split will not only leave me with over 200 shares, but will drop the share price to under $100!  This is fabulous news for my dividend reinvestments as I’ll get more shares.  Even though they’re of lower value, as the stock price inevitably rises again, it will have a very nice affect on my portfolio.  Granted, I don’t tend to touch this stuff right now, but it means that my cushion until I start making my dream pay is that much more stable.  Interestingly, I scheduled a meeting with my financial advisor before I learned of the split.  Now I have something else to discuss with him!  I am very grateful for this news of abundance coming into my life.  It certainly isn’t what I planned or expected, but I’m not one to look a gift horse in the mouth!  And this could be just the beginning.  Everything must start somewhere!

So, let’s see.  If I take stock of the last couple of days, I think my balance sheet is going to come out heavily weighted on the asset side:  My life is filled with abundance:  Friendship, healthy food, prosperity, health, cleaner, clearer house…  and of course, my sweet kitties who make sure I’m never alone.

Many of the websites I follow have been talking about the major clearing which would be occurring, not only because of the two eclipses, but also because of the grand square of Jupiter, Pluto, Mars and Uranus.   I know that I started feeling the effects a few days early, as I always do, but what I felt in the beginning is nothing to what is actually occurring.  I find it rather interesting that the kids’ move was scheduled right in the middle of it all, and that I have a massage scheduled on Tuesday, the day of the second eclipse.  (and to think, I almost scheduled it for the following week!)  Allowing the Universe to guide me is working out very well, indeed.  I may not like how drastic the changes are and how quickly they’re occurring, but I can guarantee that I will be much better for it when the dust clears!  I wouldn’t be surprised if the Tower card showed up in a Tarot reading for me right now.  I’m certainly having my world shaken to the very foundation right now!

At this point, I have the Universe kicking my butt and my Publicist chewing it.  One way or another, I’m going to do some major moving forward over the next couple of months!  Guess it’s time to set myself another goal; to complete the rewrite by ??? and to get the video reading done before the end of May!  I can’t guarantee that I’ll have colors picked for my website by then, as I haven’t a clue as to what I want it to look like right now!  But I am learning that once I put something in motion, other things figure themselves out along the way.  And do you know what?  It’s all good!!!  I think that is my new catch phrase!

My gratitudes tonight are:
1. I am grateful for friends who understand where I’m at and give me constructive ideas for weathering my latest storm.
2. I am grateful for the first indication of my impending prosperity.
3. I am grateful for the abundance in so many aspects of my life.
4. I am grateful for my kitties who are being ultra attentive right now.
5. I am grateful for learning to allow…and realizing that I need to adapt the concept to allow people to touch my heart.

Love and light.

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