Rip off the mask, tear down the walls. Show the world your beautiful self!

So, the first two days of this week have not turned out as planned (and tomorrow, we make one, last trip to China Town before the kids move, so there goes day number 3!)  Clearly, the Universe is trying to redirect my efforts so I say “let’s go with the flow!”  The cats are fed, the bed is made, the trash has been picked up and the house is vacuumed.  I’m going to call it good, and just sit back and wait to see why I’m being maneuvered in directions which, on the surface, seem to have no rhyme or reason!

Thinking it through, though, the kids’ and my taxes are filed, and by waiting, Turbotax had some more updates that saved me almost $100!  I got a new client’s books set up too.  So, has the week really been a waste, or am I simply being redirected?

In spite of myself, I’m checking things off of my weekly to do list.  Maybe not all of the things I want to be checking off, but as with some of the big ones that came off last week, I’m definitely making progress!

Sadly, I have not had the chance to pick up the copywriting class where I left off, nor to revise the first assignment in accordance with the reviewer’s suggestions.  But I did replace my suddenly expired calculator (a requisite piece of equipment for a number cruncher, even a part time one!) with a more compact model  (ok, so I went with less expensive, and it happened to be smaller, but once I had it set up on my desk, I liked having one with a smaller footprint!), made myself a healthy dinner after going grocery shopping and loaded and started the dishwasher!  More checks off of my list, and it’s only Tuesday!

For some reason, I am being guided to put work stuff aside for a bit (though that doesn’t mean I won’t use the late hours when I do my best writing to do some more editing on my book!) and focus on other stuff, which, in some cases, is yet to be determined.

One thing I do know, it is not wise to ignore the guidance from the Universe (oh my aching head for the times I forgot!), and trying to do something which I’m being specifically guided NOT to do is both unwise and counterproductive.

Instead, I spend time with my kids, organize a few things, have some wonderful meditations, cuddle with my cats and otherwise, watch and listen for indications of which direction I should go next!

The worst part of the whole thing is that I really have to sit on my inner control freak right now.  You know the one.  It keeps whispering in my ear:  “You really should be accomplishing something, you know?  You’re wasting valuable time futzing around, but going nowhere.  And you really should be going somewhere!”

The only thing I can really do is put my hand over the mouth of this inner voice and say, loudly and firmly:  “Who says????  Now shut up, and let me listen and learn!”

That inner voice kept me on the straight and narrow of a passionless life for many years, and yes, in some ways, it was necessary for me to listen.  But the time to listen to anything either straight or narrow has passed!  Im supposed to be following the twisty windy now!  This is the right direction, despite what my inner control freak might think.  And it’s ok to be a little scared when I have no idea what to do or where I’m going next.  That’s what makes this an adventure, and not a mere existence.

So until I receive guidance to do differently, I will continue to follow this twisty, windy, unpredictable path which is my course of late.  I know it’s not forever, and I know there’s a point.  Just because I can see neither at the moment doesn’t make it wrong!

My gratitudes tonight are:
1. I am grateful for the lesson I finally learned which lets me be a little crazy and unpredictable some of the time…a lot of the time…more often than not….
2. I am grateful for time to spend with my daughter and son-in-law before they’re not living nearby any more.
3. I am grateful for being able to spend time with my remaining cats and truly monitor their health and welfare.
4. I am grateful that I will, at some point, get back on my 3 times a week gym routine, though it has been a struggle for the last couple of weeks.
5. I am grateful for the abundance which will clear my plate of things which are no longer needed as the attached lessons have been learned.

Love and light. 

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