Rip off the mask, tear down the walls. Show the world your beautiful self!

Today was a day of endings and beginnings, activity on an energetic level and a physical one, and one of learning once again, who to trust and who to keep at arm’s length.

It was a Full Moon Day.

Since beginning my A.R.T. training last July, I have cleared a lot of energetic blockages in myself which have, ultimately, changed my entire life for the better.  But those clearings have also made me incredibly sensitive to things like moon phases and sunspot activity.  Today was no exception. 

I spent the first few hours of the day with a headache which traveled from one side of my forehead to the other, finally settling in my left temporal lobe.  It wasn’t more than a dull throb most of the time, so I was working through it, and lunch with my A.R.T. teacher and classmate finally put it to rest for awhile.

I’m sure part of it was the effort I was putting into extricating myself from drama which was not of my making, and realizing that I’d, once again, misplaced my trust.  But as it is fairly easily rectified, I won’t dwell on it here.

My formal A.R.T. training might have ended today, but I step forth into the new life I’ve created for myself with strong intentions, broad strokes, tools I didn’t have before, and a writing career which is poised to launch me into a world I had only dreamed of to this point.

Certainly, I have a great deal of work to do to get there, and granted, I have concerns which I’m trusting in my faith in the Universe will work out better than anything I could imagine on my own, but I am my own task master now, and what I’m doing matters. 

Since taking the initial leap of faith which I decided to do in October, put in motion in November and embarked upon in December, the Universe has not let me down.  The only times I’ve struggled were when I gave myself either mixed or negative messages.  I’ve learned that is only counterproductive.

A busy day which ended with a very challenging, but ultimately successful dance lesson saw a complete continuum of energetic levels.  By the time I arrived at the dance lesson, I was energetically depleted.  I slogged through the first few minutes of the lesson, but, I have to tell you that it was dancing!  No matter how low my energy might be, dancing seems to fill me back up again! 

That is not to say that I didn’t spend a good part of the day sealing and re-sealing my energetic field.  But the dancing certainly gave me a boost in the right direction!  Although my weekly routine will see some changes in the coming weeks, I know that I need that three times a week infusion I’ve been getting lately. 

Because the day was so full, I didn’t get to my daily meditation until around 9:00 PM, and it was a rather interesting experience.  Typically, I have one or two of the cats either in my lap or close by during my meditations.  Today, though it felt like I struggled to keep my focus, Snowball came and went a couple of times before settling in the top of one of the cat trees, Munchkin moved between my lap and a blanket on the sofa to the left of me, Dylan checked in, then moved to the arm of the sofa, Scooby was on the back of the sofa on my left, and Toby the Moose parked his bulk between my chin and my knees, purring for awhile, then giving his face a thorough cleaning.  Finding that I was losing focus, I began to hum, deep in my throat.  To my surprise, Toby was extremely disturbed by the humming!  He put his paw over my mouth as if to say “Stop that infernal racket!  My purr should be more than enough of a hum for you!”   I don’t know about you, but when the cat becomes insistent like that, I tend to listen.

I do find that when the cats choose to participate in my meditations, I seal my field with them inside.  They are very aware of energetic flow as their ears, fur and whiskers are natural receptors.  But they are especially sensitive to changes in my flow, and I believe that’s why they all joined in tonight.  Between the emotional ups and downs and the energetic roller derby I was experiencing today, they were grounding me.  In fact, if I think back to early this morning, Toby was sleeping around my head with his paw across my forehead, something he does when I either have a headache, or conditions are such that I will without his assistance.

At any rate, my endings include: ending my resistance to the natural flow.  Ending associations which do me a disservice.  Ending my days of procrastination.

My beginnings include:  Beginning to follow a tighter schedule for completion of my self-assigned tasks.  Beginning to use the momentum I’ve entered.  Beginning to get out into the world more (if for no other reason than studying people will make my characters more interesting.).  Beginning to put out more broad stroke intentions.  Beginning to trust in the Universe to guide me personally, professionally, energetically, physically and mentally.

In some ways, I’m still releasing things which began in February, and that’s fine.  I follow my own timeline, though there is some consistency with the energetic pathways predicted for any given month.

As far as I’m concerned, it is all about me, and anyone who disagrees, doesn’t have to associate with me.  We all have choices.  Some have already chosen to disassociate, while with others, the choice is mine.  One of the sticky notes on my monitor says “I have an abundance of loving, positive people in my life.”  Their positive energy feeds mine and mine feeds theirs.  Every so often, negativity sneaks in, but it doesn’t stay long because a bunch of little energy ninjas start jumping up and down, smacking me in the head and reminding me that those negative nellies, no matter how they disguise themselves, are not welcome in my world.  There is a time and a place for everyone and everything.  They just need to find the one that fits them best.

So here’s to New Beginnings, Endings where they need to be, and bucket loads of positive energy and faith to keep me moving forward into my own version of the Brave New World!

My gratitudes tonight are:
1. I am grateful for having my eyes opened, despite the pain and disillusionment I might see at times.
2. I am grateful for the things which motivate and drive me to be better than my own, puny imagination can envision.
3. I am grateful for the people in my life, their differences and their commonalities.  From them, I learn so much.
4. I am grateful for my cats who sense my energy shifts and do their best to get me past the big ones smoothly.
5. I am grateful for a lovely, full day that has made me feel complete in a lot of ways.

Love and light.

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