Rip off the mask, tear down the walls. Show the world your beautiful self!

Had another lovely night of dancing and chatting with friends tonight.  I’m doing my best to get out to at least my normal three nights, in hopes of counteracting my natural, hermit tendencies which the editing process seems to be exacerbating.  I particularly enjoy the Wednesday night two step lessons because the music isn’t so loud and I actually get a chance to chat with people I’d otherwise never really get to know. 

A lot of my dance friends seem to share my ADHD so the topic changes quickly from one seemingly unrelated subject to another, but as we’re all keeping up, it only matters if someone wants to listen in, and is not similarly talented!  One quite nice gentleman joined us at one point, apologizing profusely for interrupting what he assumed was just girl talk.  When we assured him that he was welcome, he proceeded to monopolize the conversation for a few minutes, until we broke off into our own, side conversations, or got up to dance.  I guess he never learned to share the talking stick.  It doesn’t mean that he isn’t charming.  He just likes a little extra attention.  I think we all do, now and then.  And why not from 4 reasonably good looking women who also happen to have quick minds and love to dance? 

But I digress.  I spent a fair part of the evening just chatting with several people.  Shortly before I left, I felt a weird shift and suddenly, something felt just a little off.  I couldn’t tell you what it was or that it was anybody’s influence.  I just knew it was time for me to get out of there.  As soon as I got outside, I was fine, so it was definitely something inside the building. 

Whatever it was, I suddenly just didn’t want to be there any more.  Not the “get out of here fast because something bad is coming” kind of feeling.  More like an “I’m done here and I really need to be somewhere else, even though I don’t have anything particular I need to do” kind of feeling. 

Sitting here now, I’m still puzzled as to how or why the feeling came on so suddenly.  As I said, I didn’t notice that anything in particular changed, other than people coming and going. 

Now that I’m fortified with a small container of flan and a few dried apricots, the feeling has settled into the pit of my stomach.  Clearly, it was more than the place.  Something, somewhere in my world is tilted a bit and is giving me a slight feeling of vertigo. 

But the kitties all came running when I rattled the apricot bag, thinking they were getting treats, so I know that part of my world is still intact!  Toby even sniffed the bag as if to say “I don’t believe you!  I think those really are treats, and you just don’t want to share!”  I’m sure they believe that I secretly horde their treats so I can munch on them while they sleep!  I have one word for that idea!  EWWWW!

The smell of the incense I’ve been burning the last couple of days permeates my office, though not in a bad way.  (and no, I have not been indulging in illegal substances.  I just like a little candles and incense with my editing!)  I’m surprised that it lingers as strongly as it does since I had the window open for awhile today.  Strangely, I only smell it when I’m in this room and as it has a linoleum floor, it isn’t getting into any carpet, and the window has wooden mini blinds, so there are no draperies to hold the smell either.  Curious. 

I fear I’ve jumped around more than usual tonight, so, before I drive my readers mad with my randomness, I’ll leave you with tonight’s gratitudes:

1. I am grateful for excuses to get out of the house and amongst other humans with a common interest.
2. I am grateful for the attentiveness of my cats, despite the fact that I’m home most of the time now.
3. I am grateful for the intelligent, yet easy conversations I get to have with my dance friends.
4. I am grateful for increasing stamina and strength as a result of my regular gym visits.
5. I am grateful for a quiet, empty (or at least void of other humans) house to knock around in.  Yes, I value my privacy and my solitude, perhaps more than the average person.)

Love and light

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