Rip off the mask, tear down the walls. Show the world your beautiful self!

Today, I had planned to do several things, and most of them didn’t happen.  But as I see it, the most important ones did.

I started my day with the trip to the gym I had planned with my daughter, and though we both forgot to work the abs today, I think we had a pretty good workout, overall.  Heather suggested a little Greek place for lunch, where we ordered our lunch (between my doing some trouble shooting for a client who managed to miss our gym time by just a skotch), and enjoyed our lunch on the little strip of sidewalk outside the restaurant.

Returning home, I took care of a couple of things, then decided it was time for my meditation.

Visuals during the meditation were so odd that it rather messed up my brain for the other things I wanted to spend the day doing. 

I saw myself in an odd sort of bowling alley with people I don’t recognize, but apparently, knew.  Getting a glass of water was a major undertaking, especially with a little, grey kitten in my arms, bent on escaping (which she did at one point). 

Back on the lanes, I proceeded to take a practice shot and the old bowling ball from my childhood, which I was attempting to use, had several different sets of finger holes, and suddenly just shredded itself in my hands. 

Thus ensued a search for an alley ball, but they were organized in a most unusual fashion.  Many were in boxes by brand, and there was a card with a key as to what the numbering sequences meant for the various brands, in terms of weight.  As I took one ball out of it’s box, it had a weird, flat spot on it until a friend pointed out that it was in yet another, mostly round,  box. 

Finally, returning to our lane, one of the women on the other team was becoming quite belligerent about the wait, but every time I tried to bowl, someone on one side or the other would start forward too (a serious breach of bowling courtesy.)

My meditation came to an end as I reached the boiling point, frustration-wise, and I no longer felt relaxed.

Since then, I’ve spent the rest of the day a little sick to my stomach, eating my last container of chicken soup for dinner, in hopes of settling it. 

The stomach may have settled, but I’m feeling decidedly unsettled, and am wondering if the effects of the full moon the other night are still upon me?  I know that a series of emails over the last couple of days has certainly created a bit of a stir for me, not to mention, the requirement for a day or two of work next week as well.  (not a bad thing)

I have neglected my book for a couple of days as well, and hope that I can find the muse to write another couple of chapters soon.  January is drawing to a close, and I don’t want to break the promise I made to myself!

But as I look around my recently organized office (if you discount the books piled high, and not entirely neatly, on the shelves), I feel a sense of accomplishment and know that things are definitely moving forward, even if it’s not as quickly as I might like.

My gratitude tonight are:
1. I am grateful for being able to cross things off my To Do list.
2. I am grateful for Day 3 of gym with my daughter.
3. I am grateful for unsettled days which make me appreciate those which are more productive and settled.
4. I am grateful for my Dylan-man who has been seriously attentive lately, in spite of our visitor who seems to require an extraordinary amount of attention.
5. I am grateful for the new life I’m making for myself, and the realization that a partner will come into my life when we are both ready.

Love and light.


I look forward to your comments.

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