Have I mentioned that I’ve been feeling distracted and disconnected lately? (only half a million times, right?)
It’s getting so bad that my friends are noticing it too! I’m chalking it up to having a lot on my mind at the moment, but aside from today when I did my best to focus on completing a task for my boss, my mind is like a butterfly on weed! It just flitters and flutters this way and that, lighting for a moment, then winging its way off to some other distraction. It’s driving me nuts!
I still can’t manage to meditate more than about 15 minutes, and it seems like hours! This has got to stop! I have things to do, people to see, preparations to make!
And yet, I know it will all come together. But the control freak in me is having a hard time just letting go right now.
For some reason, my feet felt lighter as I danced tonight, and yet, the noise level seemed to be excessively high, and I wasn’t the only one who noticed.
But part of that seems to have found an explanation, as a woman who was well known in the dance community, and especially at the club where I dance, lost her battle with pancreatic cancer this morning. I’m sure that what I was feeling tonight was her spirit bidding us all a final farewell as she moved on to the next plane.
I guess this is just another reminder that things change, whether you want them to or not, and the best thing you can do is relax and go with the flow. Fighting the changes is exhausting and best, futile in the extreme and much like trying to paddle up a waterfall. You can fight it and end up where you were meant to be, exhausted and frustrated, or you can let the current take you where it will, no matter what you do, and arrive refreshed and ready to accept the new order and make something extraordinary out of it.
I’m guessing that my distractedness is my way of stilling my analytical side and allowing the situation to unfold as it is meant to, without my well-meaning, but fruitless interference.
We are rolling into a weekend which promises some major upheavals, and which includes a solar eclipse! It should make for interesting times at my high school reunion! A few fireworks maybe?
I suppose the best thing for me to do, then, is to get plenty of rest as the festivities actually begin tomorrow night, and we have things planned all the way through Sunday! Good thing I’m taking all of those vitamins and supplements every day!
My gratitudes tonight are:
1. I am grateful that despite the sadness it brings to many, Joan is out of pain.
2. I am grateful for the warmth and continuity of the dance community, and the love we all share.
3. I am grateful for a weekend of old friends and new, memories past and new memories being made.
4. I am grateful for the cats who are waiting, not very patiently, to get their evening snuggle time.
5. I am grateful for the chain of events that is transpiring with the speed of a runaway freight train, even though I don’t know right now where it will all end up. The excitement is in the journey!
Love and light