Here I sit, in front of my computer, cat on the desk, mouse hanging precariously over the edge, awaiting said feline’s next stretch before I’m once again, diving under the desk to retrieve it, and smiling all over my body, because this is truly my favorite part of the day.
This is the time when I get to sit down, open up my brain and just let it all hang out. It doesn’t matter whether I wax eloquent, or walk the fine line between comedy and idiocy. I am doing what I enjoy most, and that is putting words to paper (or virtual paper) in any way I please.
My mind has been in such a jumble lately, as I prepare to make some pretty significant leaps, and as a result, meditating is virtually impossible. I might actually get my brain to shut off for as long as 15 minutes, but that’s about as good as it gets right now.
But when I sit down at the computer to write, I have the freedom to allow all of those errant thoughts to just spill out on the screen in whatever order they come out. I’m not anxious to get everything to make sense right now. The point here is to get the thoughts out and maybe find that gem of an idea which will become the story you’ll read in a magazine or collection and be able to say “I read her when…”
For now, my focus is more on quantity than quality, because, when it comes down to it, I can edit and perfect once I have a whole bunch of words, right? But the idea which will be my first published story must first be allowed to break free of all of the other ideas, and show me just how pretty it looks, all dressed up for the party to be thrown in its honor.
I guess that’s why I tend to lean more towards the company of my cats. They don’t judge what hits the page, nor the number of hours I sit here pounding on the keys at my usual lightening pace. As long as they are acknowledged periodically, given a few skritches when I come up for air, and their food and water bowls are kept full, they’re perfectly content to just lay around my office, keeping me company.
Dylan, in particular, likes nothing better than to have me around all the time. He lays on the desk for awhile, then wanders off to do whatever cats do when they’re not eating or sleeping, then checks in every so often to make sure I am still conscious of the fact that he requires attention ever now and then.
As I gear up to change my life in pretty drastic ways, I’m also conscious of how my changes will affect others, either positively or negatively. For the former, I’m excited and thrilled that changes I make can cause a chain reaction of good things for other people too. For the latter, I’m doing my best to minimize the negative impact my choices make, while still realizing that if the impact to some seems negative, perhaps they have a lesson which will come out of it and turn their lives in a better direction too.
Little signs along the way are assuring me that what I’m doing is exactly what I’m supposed to be doing, and will, ultimately, bring good things to a lot of people, either directly or indirectly. The Universal headslaps seem to have stopped for the moment, and have been replaced by a lot of “attaboys”. I feel like my former, one woman cheerleading squad has expanded and is an entire team, complete with human towers, flips, leaps and mid-air twists.
The air around me is so charged with energy that I have a tough time seeing where I stop and everything else begins. When I focus on sealing my field, it keeps slipping out from under the seal and spreading further out. Often, these days, I feel like my energy field fills an entire room! At one point, I tried to pull it in so it wasn’t risking annoying someone who might be more sensitive, but that was a battle I lost stupendously! This energy wants to run amok, and I am not the woman to thwart it right now.
What’s a girl to do when her own energy takes charge? Strap herself in and hold on for a wild ride!
My gratitudes tonight are:
1. I am grateful to be allowed to positively impact other people.
2. I am grateful for the large influx of work that is coming my way.
3. I am grateful for clearing more of my time for writing.
4. I am grateful for the plethora of story ideas I have scattered all over the place.
5. I am grateful for my skepticism as it keeps me from taking everything I read too seriously.
Love and light