I read a post by Robin Rice which got me thinking about where I’m going and what I’m doing and, yes, why I procrastinate. I’m including a link to that post as it was incredibly powerful.
It occurred to me that a big part of my problem right now is that I can’t settle. What I mean by that is that I’ll turn on the TV, then turn it off after a few minutes because nothing being offered interests me. I’ll open a book and read for a bit, then close it because I just can’t get into the story. I’ll sit at the computer and look for something to entertain me, but nothing catches my attention for more than a few minutes.
So I have to ask myself, what is it that I’m avoiding doing that has me bouncing from one thing to another without being able to settle?
The obvious things are (in no particular order):
1. Finishing the decluttering.
2. Getting my kitchen done.
3. My Book.
4. My homework.
5. Reading more about subjects being covered in my class. (what comes to mind here is the book I just bought, “Crystal Bible”, which I struggle with because the print is so small).
What I see is that I need to prioritize, not only the tasks, but the individual components of each task, but what I feel is that there is a place where I’m afraid to take the next step.
That could apply to both 3 and 4. 3 because I’ve realized that the next step is going to involve more than a little soul baring, and 4, because I know that the next few questions are going to involve, you guessed it, more than a little soul baring, combined with some brutal self-honesty.
I am, indeed, The Fool from the Tarot, with one foot poised over the precipice, not quite ready to trust that by taking that step, I won’t tumble to my doom.
And then, of course, I see an add for Suicide Prevention Week and feel myself getting all teary eyed? Do I see a connection? Hell, yes!
It seems that just by talking about procrastinating, I set some kind of intention. Although I didn’t get to any of the things on the list above, I did clear the way by finally getting my hair done and doing laundry. If nothing else, it gives me one less excuse to avoid the other tasks, and gets a couple of things done which were way overdue! Just like setting intentions directly, you don’t always get what you ask for, but you do get what you need. (hmmm, sounds like a song!)
As with the setting of intentions in the normal fashion (if anything can be considered normal these days!), the Universe sets about manifesting those thoughts or wishes or dreams in any way it sees fit.
Clearly, it saw fit to motivate me to get some things done which were seemingly unrelated to what I thought I was putting off, but which needed to be cleared in order for me to move forward. So all in all, I appreciate how things have worked out. I can now (in my spare time of course) schedule a hair appointment and I can no longer come home from work and vacillate between all of the things I want to do, and end up getting none of them done. My list has been trimmed!
Sometimes, you just have to pick a spot in the midst of all of the clutter, and start clearing small pieces of your mess. I can’t tell you how much better I feel tonight, having a couple of those nagging items behind me!
My gratitudes tonight are:
1. I am grateful for Universal intervention when I’m feeling stuck.
2. I am grateful for a more clear path towards accomplishing my goals.
3. I am grateful for inspiration which often comes in unexpected ways.
4. I am grateful for healing properties from many sources.
5. I am grateful for a reasonably productive day.
Love and light