Rip off the mask, tear down the walls. Show the world your beautiful self!

It seems, over the last few weeks (ok, so it took me awhile to acknowledge it) that the Universe has determined that it is time to reintroduce a couple of my least favorite lessons.  Of course, if I’d just learn them and move on, they wouldn’t BE my least favorite lessons, but my stubborn nature seems to require repeated whacks to my head in these areas, for some reason.  In fact, I’d say that the physical pain has, thus far, been insufficient in convincing me to just learn and move on!

The lessons in question include one in particular, and that one is patience.  I am, by my own admission, one of the least patient people I know.  My lack of patience is only rivaled by my ultra sensitive bullshit meter, and in the last couple of weeks, both have been tested to the breaking point (my bullshit meter has been out for repairs but they seem to be experiencing difficulty obtaining a crucial part!).  I have received several tests of late, as people who particularly annoy me are thrust into my path, and frankly, I’m failing miserably.  If this was a college course, the professor would have taken me aside by now to tell me that there was no possible way I could pass this course, and that I should consider dropping it until I’m better prepared to fulfill the stringent requirements.

But it is not a college course and, as with most things in life, there is a reason for me to learn, so learn I must.  But I don’t have to LIKE it!!!

One of the traits I most value in other people (and definitely in myself) is honesty.  I can smell insincerity a mile away and it just grates on my nerves!  I can handle honest emotion, be it painful or pleasurable, and I can respect someone who puts a good face on rather than be “woe is me-ing” all over the place.  But save me from those who shake your hand, kiss your cheek and smile, all the while shooting daggers or talking crap behind your back.  Keep me far away from the glad handers and the propaganda spinners, the politicians in non-political jobs, the folks who have to try to make everyone like them by telling them what they want to hear, buying those who can be sold, and otherwise being about as sincere as a used car salesman.

But as with everything, it is not for me to control other people, but for me to control my own reactions to them.  I don’t have to like or respect them, I simply have to remove their ability to piss me off or cause me to react in any manner. 

So, is the lesson really in patience and controlling my bs meter, or in controlling my reactions to other people and situations by understanding that what they do is theirs and theirs alone, not for me to react or judge or be emotional about?  I guess I’ll explore that question in the days ahead.

In the meantime, dear readers, I’ll put this question to you.  Do you have any lessons which keep repeating in your lives?  Are there concepts, the mastery of which, continue to elude you, despite your best efforts?  And if so, how do you adjust your behaviour such that the lessons ARE mastered and you move on to better things?

My gratitudes tonight are:
1. I am grateful for opportunities to learn.
2. I am grateful for inspiration from my friends.
3. I am grateful for opportunities to better understand myself,
4. I am grateful for improvements in leaving my comfort zone.
5. I am grateful for increasing clarity in expressing and going after what I truly want.

Love and light.

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