Dancing outside my comfort zone

Laying in bed last night after posting my blog and dancing one last “Fairy Tales and Love Songs” in my living room (and scaring the crap out of Patches in the process), my mind began turning over what might have been my next blog post when something interesting happened.  Dylan jumped up onto the bed and almost frantically began searching for the perfect spot.  He walked around the pillows for a few seconds, leading me to believe he was going to settle on the ones next to me when he suddenly turned, made a beeline for my pillow and, instead of curling up between the wall and my head as is his usual pattern, he lay ON my head with one paw across my forehead, then began to purr even louder than I’d ever heard before, which is saying a lot as he can sound almost like a plane getting ready for takeoff under normal conditions!  If that wasn’t enough, when I woke this morning, Toby had taken his place as if they were tag teaming me to ensure that I got my sleep!

If there was ever any doubt that our animals tune into us (and especially after writing about it last night), there are doubts no longer!  It is interesting that he laid his paw across my forehead in that manner because my chiropractor reminds me often that that is one of the ways we can connect directly with our emotions, and it seems that Dylan nailed it because I slept long and deeply, waking to find that I’d overslept and barely disturbed the bed all night long!

I thought I’d switch things up tonight and write my blog post (or rather, finish it) before I made my breakfasts and lunches for the next couple of days when, much to my surprise, I couldn’t write a word!  My brain literally shut down because I was trying to work outside of my pre-set routine.  “STOP!”  It said.  “Writing is your reward for getting everything done and ready for tomorrow’s work day!  Until you get those things taken care of, you are not entitled to your reward, and must wait until all is in order!”

What the heck???  Now my conscience is giving me orders and telling me when I can and cannot write??  This is absurd!  But while I was doing those chores, my brain churned and gave me fodder for my post, which it had very blatantly withheld when I tried to do things out of order!  As if the cats aren’t bad enough at trying to order me around?  Now my innards are getting into the act?

This feeling of being unsettled continues to rear its head at every odd moment it can find.  Today, after spending the better part of the last two reviewing and critiquing a proposal, I got to the point where, if I didn’t get up and move, I’d simply spontaneously combust!  (that Phoenix has nothing on me in full melt down!)  The solution was to just go out into the absolutely beautiful day and walk.  My intention was to just walk around the buildings which, if I take my time might take all of ten minutes.  But when I had made the circuit, even stopping to play with one of the other tenant’s dog for a bit, I realized that I couldn’t possibly go in and sit at my desk yet, so I decided to walk up to the next side street, then walk back.  Great plan, but when I got there, I was still to antsy to sit still so I decided to walk up to the first street that crossed back over to the main street and just make a big circle.  Little did I realize that that street was about a mile up the road!  Needless to say, my little walk to clear my head and calm my bouncing off the wall feelings ended up being a two mile jaunt!  Had I realized I was going to make such a trek, I’d have changed into my sneakers as my sandals rubbed a blister into the back of my right foot!  But the good news is, I was able to settle for the rest of the afternoon, though not enough to meditate!

I know part of the problem is my unpleasantly high tax bill for last year, but I took steps to ensure that next year’s bill will be much less and might even be a refund by adjusting a couple of things to allow for changes in my status and deductions now that my daughter is on her own.  It was nice while it lasted!  But I also remembered to ask the Universe for assistance in working everything out to my best advantage, so I’ve released the anxiety and will just take things as they come.

Meanwhile, I had emailed a rescue group to see if they could make use of my writing skills and was very happy to get a response with some suggestions as to what I can do to help!  In the next few days, I’ll be reviewing the stories they have for their adoptable kitties to see if I can freshen them up a bit.  They also told me that there are some resources I can tap for guidance on writing more effective stories to help get the cats adopted.  More to learn and I am always up for a new skill!  It seems that my path towards writing/creating more and analyzing less is still on track, even if the train is moving at the speed of a snail.  Forward progress is still forward progress!

I’m also loving the flow of ideas and the camaraderie of our newly formed Reunion Committee.  More bonds are being formed as we join in this labor of love to make a fun weekend for our classmates.  I know that there will be a lot of brainstorming in that area over the next few months, and the result will be some amazing, fun ideas!  I guess I’d better pencil myself out for the whole weekend and I might consider taking half of Friday off too (after I get the close done, that is!  Timing is everything!)  But I’ll see what is needed when the date gets closer!  And can’t forget to order my ticket once the tax dust clears!

My gratitudes tonight are:
1. I am grateful for opportunities to not only give back, but learn something new in the process.
2. I am grateful that I can take long walks without worrying about limitations (blisters aside)
3. I am grateful for friends who know when to take me to task for being too hard on myself (Yes, MPP, I mean you!)
4. I am grateful for the connection I have with my cats who know just when to insist I just stop and give them cuddles or snuggle until I fall asleep.
5. I am grateful for routines that have set in so strongly that I am no longer able to slack off or skip steps.

Love and light.  

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