Dancing outside my comfort zone

Today was so amazing, I can’t even figure out where to start so I guess I’ll start at the beginning of the day. 

As we often do, my massage therapist and I chatted before my massage, but today, more than ever, she was a wealth of insight for me!  I mentioned me feeling of a major change coming up and she threw out a couple of things which totally resonated with the feeling (if you recall, I did suggest that if I sent the thought out to the Universe, it was likely that I’d get responses which contained pieces of the puzzle, and I certainly did!).  She gave me a couple of sources of information and the name of a woman who has been talking about this shift for about 10 years.  If I think back, that about fits when I started to feel like I have an important role in the changing world consciousness, but I go back and forth over what that role might be.  At times, I feel like I will be a lightworker, and at others, a warrior, while still others have me everywhere in between.  What the real answer is remains to be seen.  But in the meantime, I have some watching and reading to do. 

We also discussed the fact that I no longer feel comfortable with the guided meditation group I had gone to, so I no longer attend.  She told me that it might be time for me to find another teacher.  From her lips to the Universe’s ears.  Today, a friend told me about a telephone guided meditation tomorrow and gave me the information so I could attend.  Talk about “ask and it is given!”  It seems that part of this shift I’m feeling could well involve manifesting like I’ve never seen before!  You’d better believe I’m putting my very best, and most outrageous intentions out there during this cycle. 

After my massage, as is our custom, I pulled a rune and she gave me a printout of it’s meaning.  Of late, the runes I pull have had an uncanny tendency to be exactly right and this one was no different.  Today I pulled Uruz.  I am going to type the meaning verbatim because it is so exactly fitting with what is going on in my life over the next few months that I can’t put it any better than the author of the book did:
“The Rune of terminations and new beginnings, drawing Uruz indicates that the life you have been living has outgrown its form.  That form must die so that new energy can be released in a new form.  This is a Rune of passage and, as such, part of the Cycle of Initiation.

Positive Growth and change, however, may involve a descent into darkness as part of the cycle of perpetual renewal.  As in nature, this progression consists of five aspects:  death, decay, fertilization, gestation, rebirth.  Events occurring now may well prompt you to undergo a death within yourself.  Since self-change is never coerced–we are always free to resist–remain mindful that the new life is always greater than the old. 

Prepare, then for the opportunity disguised as loss.  It could involve the loss of someone or something to which you have an intense emotional bond, and through which you are living a part of your life, a part that must now be retrieved so you can live it out for yourself.  In some way, that bond is being severed, a relationship radically changed, a way of life coming to an end.  Seek among the ashes and discover a new perspective and new strength. 

The ancient symbol for Urus was the aurochs, a wild ox.  When the wild ox was domesticated–an immensely difficult task — it could transport heavy loads.  Learn to adapt yourself to the demands of such a creative time.  Firm principles attach to this rune.  At the same time humility is called for, since in order to rule you must learn how to serve.  Uruz puts you on notice that your soul and the Universe support the new growth.”

Holy macaroni!  I can see very clearly that this is my relationship with my daughter changing.  Of course, the change began over a year ago, but the changes are definitely becoming more radical of late.  My social life has begun to develop independently of hers, as hers has of mine.  But I can see myself descending into darkness, if only a little bit, when our entire routines are required to alter.  I’m already forming some new bonds, but realize that this is just the tip of the iceberg, and the rest will be surfacing sooner than I think.

From all of this, it might appear that my feelings of a large shift are intensely personal, but the reality is that my personal shift is definitely in process, but is a necessary occurrence to enable me to support the much larger, global shift that is coming faster and faster.  The question is, will I have time to complete my own shift before I’m called upon to support the bigger picture?  Or will the distance I’ve gone by the time I am needed be sufficient to enable me to fulfill the role I’m intended for?

Once again, I’m left with more questions than answers, but if the Universe is true to the form it showed me today, it won’t be long before I start seeing answers.

I’ve written almost 1000 words, and haven’t even gotten past this morning!!!  If you’re reading this post, you might want to go fix yourself a snack, because I may go on for longer than usual tonight!

Today was another of what has become our semi-annual AHS reunions.  I love going to these because I get to reconnect with some incredible people, and meet a few who are new to me each time, but today, the energy was especially high and the day was absolutely gorgeous.  I spent several hours exchanging ideas and learning a little more about several women who have conquered many obstacles to become the amazing, talented, inspirational, positive energy filled women they are today.  Words are insufficient to communicate how incredibly blessed I am to be included in this amazing group of women.  (I’m not ignoring the guys, here, and many of them are equally talented and amazing but it really is the women who inspire me.  The guys are the icing on my cake!)  As we talked about everything from healing to ADHD to writing and everything in between, I felt like I was in a crash course on life and achievement.  It will take me several days to absorb the gifts I was given today.

An already full and complete day was only elevated to star status with more than my usual share of dancing, and a sweet surprise.  My daughter brought us homemade, gluten free hamentashen!  I could simply plotz from the pleasure of it all!    And the ratio of men to women wasn’t as extreme tonight, so I got a lot of two-stepping and some couples dancing in.  I tell you, there isn’t much that could have made me happier today.  I’m bursting with it as it is!  I even got a lot of chat time in with my dance friends in between all of the dancing.  Maybe that’s why I didn’t get home until almost 11!

But wait!  It gets even better!  A couple more people told me they were reading my almost nightly babbles!  I’m totally stoked about that!!!   It may not seem like much, but to me, it’s that much more encouragement to get that first book started!  If people are reading my jumble of thoughts and being entertained and maybe even given things to think about, imagine what I could do if I managed to stay on topic?

My gratitudes tonight are:
 1. I am incredibly grateful to my readers.
2. I am grateful for inspiration.
3. I am grateful for extraordinary dance nights.
4. I am grateful for so many wonderful, talented, intelligent, amazing people to inspire me.
5. I am grateful for my part in the change in global consciousness.

Love and light.

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