Rip off the mask, tear down the walls. Show the world your beautiful self!

My mind must have been on a real toot last night!  It took me to some very strange places, indeed!  First, I was dreaming that I had a splitting headache.  When I first woke up, I thought “gee, I’m glad that was just a dream!”  but when I actually started moving, I discovered that the headache was all too real!  Could the weather be changing yet again?  Then, I kept dreaming and re-dreaming the same sequence.  A bunch of people were walking through a junk yard.  One rather tattered looking man picked something up and put it in his mouth.  Suddenly, people were yelling “he’s eating machine parts!”  Then, he started pulling long pieces back out of his mouth.  It was gross enough to watch, but the last time I dreamed this sequence, I found myself gagging for real!  I’ve had some strange dream messages over the years, but this one has to be one of the most baffling of all!!! 

Interestingly, the dream managed to manifest physical nausea which came and went throughout the day.  I think some of it was triggered by a friend’s negative emotions.  We all try to be good friends but what is the best way to handle someone who needs to vent, but yet, also needs to find a way out of a negative spiral which ultimately manifests itself physically.  I have learned that trying to offer suggestions for turning the negative to a positive usually makes the person angrier, so how can we gently help someone we care about redirect their emotions to put them in a better place?  Life is full of challenges and opportunities to learn, but I’m not entirely sure whose lesson this one should be.  Is it mine to learn how to guide people in the manner of the Strength card, or is it the other person’s, and mine simply to stand by and let them learn their own lessons? 

I got a bit of bad news tonight.  My favorite place to spend New Year’s is not going to be open.    I hope that this doesn’t mean that I’ll be spending the evening in front of the TV, falling asleep before the ball drops!  That would be an inauspicious way to ring in the year people are insisting won’t come about because the Mayan Calendar ends!  I simply must find a better way to see it in!!

As I was dancing tonight, I felt somewhat deflated, as if my energy had suddenly been sucked out of me.  I went through the motions, but my heart wasn’t completely in it.  I finally realized that part of it had to do with the sad news I had received concerning New Year’s.  The rest, it seemed, just had to do with it not being a dance that I totally loved, because that changed when the DJ played a couple of dances that I do love to pieces!  There has also been a serious lack of men to dance with lately, with the more aggressive women getting the dance partners.  That is not to say that I didn’t dance nearly as much as I wanted to, nor that I didn’t enjoy visiting with my dance friends, but it was definitely not one of my most “on” evenings!

On a more positive note, I’m finding that if, like tonight, my knees start to ache, a good stretching will set them straight!  My left was actually more bothersome than my right tonight, but I found that the stiffness started all the way up in my hips.  As I have a couple of really good stretches for the hip area, I was soon able to move much more comfortably!  I love healing!!!

As I focus on opening my heart, it’s as if I can actually feel it opening wider and wider.  It won’t be long before someones and somethings simply fall in because it will be so wide open that even a bus could drive right in!  I am thoroughly enjoying growing that warm, loving, belonging feeling again after having had it lay dormant for so many years.  It’s like taking a huge, deep breath after a long period of taking only shallow ones.  It is so very cleansing, and empowering!

But I have rambled hither and yon for long enough tonight.  Time to get to the gratitudes!

1. I am grateful for a new and heartwarming alternative to New Year’s at Borderline.
2. I am grateful for amazing and abundant new opportunities.
3. I am grateful for love in all of its shapes, sizes and forms.
4. I am grateful for healing, sooner rather than later.
5. I am grateful to come home to a house filled with kitties demanding their share of the evening love fest.

Love and light.


I look forward to your comments.

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